I Just Want to Scream Sometimes…

…but right now, I’m too tired to do so. I forget how exhausting directing a play is, especially when you can’t delegate much responsibility because you are working with teenagers. The last week is always the worst. There are things that have been forgotten, then their are people who promised to help, but then might not be able to (not because hey don’t want to but because of health or whatever reason are not able to), and of course there is the worrying about will everything go well and will the actors remember their lines. And not matter how much I prepare and make lists, there is always something that gets forgotten or that must be done last minute. I have not gotten a good night’s sleep in over a week and it’s been worse since Sunday. No matter how tired I am, I keep thinking of things that need to be done. When I lie down to go to sleep at night, I lay there and think of all the things that still need to be done, trying to remember what I’ve forgotten, and so on and so forth. Then when I finally fall asleep, I dream of the play all night long. Tuesday night, I dreamed that a cast member died, and I had to replace her within two days of the play. Logic should have kicked in and said that the play should be cancelled, but dreams are not logical.

Anyway, I tried to think of something to post today, and this is what came out. Please excuse my whining. The performances are Friday and Saturday night, so I can’t wait until Sunday, when I can finally rest and catch my breath. Until then, I will be nervous, frazzled, and overworked, so I hope that all who know me, including the students I have in class, will understand my state of mind. I’m not a crazy person, just a stressed.