Work

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I may have been a bit blue the last few nights, but I have honestly been enjoying work. I’ve been busy, which is not something that I can usually say. Often I am waiting for people to interview, trying to find people to interview, and contacting people about interviews, which is the hardest parts of my job.  The easy part comes when I am being used as a historian as opposed to an oral historian. I love being an oral historian, I love interviewing the people, when I can find someone to interview. However, our new exhibit is something on which I am considered an expert (although I don’t always feel like one even with a master’s degree in the subject).

I have been doing a lot of writing for the exhibit. You may not think about it, but all of the labels telling about stuff in an exhibit have to be written by someone. For this exhibit, I have done much of the writing and what I haven’t written, I have edited. To say that I love doing this would be an understatement. I wish that this was my job. It has been discussed that education coordinator be added to my job title. If that was the case, and it may become a possibility, then I would be writing curriculum to go with the exhibits, plus I would be putting together educational programs, like the reading and discussion group that I am already coordinating.

If they ever get the museum studies program going, I would also be a faculty member, which is what I really went to graduate school to do, though it didn’t work out. There are lots of possibilities with my job, and the busier I am the more I like it. I know that can’t be said for a lot of jobs, but I like to stay busy when I am at work. One thing about when I was teaching, there was no down time. Yes, I had a free period, but that was spent working to get things graded and making out assignments and tests. If it hadn’t been for the students, I would have loved teaching, but the students were just too rowdy and out of control.  I hated discipline. Now, I don’t have to worry about that. It’s just a matter of doing my job and helping where and when I can.

It’s nice when your boss and your coworkers tell you on a regular basis that they are so glad that I came to work there. However, just being appreciated has not been enough to bring me out of my depression. I wish it was, but I miss home, I miss my friend I lost, and I miss being nearer to family.  I don’t mind living away from my family, in fact, I prefer it, but I wish I was at least within driving distance.


Blue


For some reason, I felt a bit blue last night. I don’t know what it was, but I had been feeling down since I left work. Work went well today, so I know that’s not the problem. I was really missing my friends and family last night. I wish it knew what triggered these episodes. It’s like a feeling of great sadness and longing. I hate the way I look. I hate the way I feel. I hate everything about myself. It’s a pity party, and I know it. I’ll be all right, I know, but the only solution for last night was to go to bed early and wake up hoping today is a better day.


Fell Asleep

I fell asleep last night before I could get a post written.


I Don’t Believe You

I don’t believe you.
When you tell me something must be wrong with you,
that you feel broken or less than good enough,
and that you are the reason you are alone.
I don’t believe you.
You see yourself through the cracked lenses,
of another persons life and some how expect me
to see you the same way they did.
You don’t believe me,
when i say you’re everything you should be
and that all the things and all the pieces
are in all the right proportions.
You don’t believe me.
I see you with my own eyes,
unclouded by the self doubt you feel
and what i see is clear:
You’re beautiful.
A wonder.
A treasure that could never be replaced.
You, yes you, just as you are.
You are someone I wish to know.
You are someone I place value in.
YOU are someone that a person like me,
would love to call my own.
You don’t believe me when I tell you these things,
and I will never believe those things about you.

Unknown Author 


Isabella

Isabella is a classic beauty. I was looking at her face this weekend and it is such perfectly proportioned. There is no doubt she is female, because she has soft beautiful features. As she gets older, I can now tell that she is not all black, but has white hairs here and there. It just adds to her charm.

Isabella is also a wonderful companion. She’s never more than a few feet away from me. She follows me from room to room. She is insistent that I tell her goodbye when I leave or she begins to cry quite loudly. I’m not sure what she does when I am not home, but I suspect she sleeps because that is what she does when I’m home during the day.

While she likes to be near me, she doesn’t like to snuggle. She’s not big on being held either. However, when I lay on the bed, she is never more than a foot away. When I turn out the lights to go to bed though, she sleeps either under the covers or under the bed. She does do a little roaming at night. Occasionally making lots of noise. She is an early riser too. She likes to wake up between 5 am and 6 am, while I tend to sleep until at least 7 am.


Lesbians and the Bible 

For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature: And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompence of their error which was meet.
Romans 1:26-27

While some biblical interpretations of the Bible condemn gay sex between men, it nowhere condemns being a lesbian. Leviticus 18:22 and 20:13 mention men having sex with other men, but say nothing of women having sex with other women. In the Sodom and Gomorrah account in Genesis 19, the men of the cities wanted to gang rape other men. First Corinthians 6:9 mentions effeminate men but does not mention lesbians. While the above passages are often taken out of context to condemn male homosexuality, they in no way do so, but that is a post for a different time. This post is to address love between women. It was a request I received in an email.

Only one verse in the Bible refers to women being with women: Romans 1:26. However, this passage discusses pagan temple prostitution, not lesbians having sex. In The Message’s translation of Romans 1:26-27, it puts it this way:

Worse followed. Refusing to know God, they soon didn’t know how to be human either—women didn’t know how to be women, men didn’t know how to be men. Sexually confused, they abused and defiled one another, women with women, men with men—all lust, no love. And then they paid for it, oh, how they paid for it—emptied of God and love, godless and loveless wretches.

While Leviticus can be used to condemn homosexuality (and the Old Testament is just that old and outdated by the New Testament), the Bible does not mention lesbians. Why doesn’t Leviticus mention lesbians? Most likely because these passages are not talking about homosexuality as much as same sex lust. Same sex love is far different. One might argue that it did not seem important because women were not important during ancient times, but we know of female rulers of the ancient Hebrew, so that argument becomes invalid. Women were as important as men in Hebrew tradition.

The truth is that the Bible does not condemn homosexual love, whether it be between men or women. The concept of homosexuality as it is today was foreign to the writers of the Bible. Lesbian and gay relationships are not godless or loveless, but filled with God and Love. Homosexual sex only becomes a problem when it is godless and loveless.


Moment of Zen: Olympic Affection


Nothing/Everything 


There were a thousand different things I could talk about, but honestly, I have nothing to say. I could give an update on Isabella, who’s doing great by the way and is rarely more than three feet from me. I could talk about my depression because I was feeling a bit low last night. I could talk about how busy I have been at work which is fantastic and I love every second of it. I could talk about the dinner I had with a wonderful and lonely older lady, we talked and laughed and had a grand time. I could talk about any of these things but I’m just not in the mood to make a full post of them.

So instead, this is what I will do. If you have a question for me, ask it. I will do my best to either answer it in a comment or it will be my Monday post. Ask me anything you want, and you are quite likely to get an answer.


A Day Off


I’m taking a day off from blogging.


A Little Less Homophobia?

There’s a saying in Rio that goes something like this: “Romance is always in the air in Rio, but only until the wind changes, and then…comes more romance.” And while NBC Sports may be homophobic, NBC Nightly News is a bit less so. Last night the final story was about Olympic athletes getting engaged at the Olympic Games. It’s seems everyone wants to get married.

Will Claye did. The American triple jumper claimed a silver medal in his event on Tuesday, but topped the podium in affairs of the heart. Moments after securing his medal, he rushed to the stands and popped the question to his girlfriend, hurdler Queen Harrison. Naturally, she said yes, prompting Claye to pump his fist with delight.

Marjorie Enya did. A volunteer stadium manager at the rugby venue in Deodoro, Enya proposed to her girlfriend, Brazil women’s national team player Isadora Cerullo, on the playing field at the completion of the women’s competition, and got the answer she wanted.

Qin Kai and He Zi do. Qin, a Chinese diver who won bronze earlier in the Games, got down on bended knee with ring in hand as He stepped off the podium after winning silver in the women’s 3-meter springboard final on Sunday.

Charlotte Dujardin and Dean Goulding do too. Dujardin, who won gold for Britain in the team dressage equestrian event on Monday, was cheered on by her partner Goulding from the stands. After clinching the title, she spotted Goulding holding up a sign: “Can we get married now?”

Romance returned to Rio on Monday with the engagement of Team GB walker Tom Bosworth and partner Harry Dineley. The three-time British record holder, who set a new national mark as he finished sixth in the 20 kilometers, popped the question on Copacabana beach.

Of the four couples featured on NBC Nightly News, two were heterosexual and two were homosexual. NBC Sports doesn’t seem to want to cover gay athletes or even acknowledge them, but NBC News featured the two gay couples like it was another romantic gesture, like any other engagement, just as it should have been.


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