“Therefore if there is any consolation in Christ, if any comfort of love, if any fellowship of the Spirit, if any affection and mercy, fulfill my joy by being like-minded, having the same love, being of one accord, of one mind.”
—Philippians 2:1–2
One of the most difficult things about being an LGBTQ+ Christian can be holding onto our faith when other Christians make us feel as though there is no place for us within it. Rejection is painful under any circumstances, but when that rejection comes from people who profess the same faith we do, it can cut especially deep. We may wonder how people who worship the same God, read the same Bible, and follow the same Savior can show so little of the love Christ taught us to show one another.
Yet the failures of other Christians do not change who God is.
Paul begins the second chapter of Philippians by reminding Christians of what should bind us together: encouragement in Christ, comfort from love, fellowship in the Spirit, compassion, and mercy. He calls believers to be “like-minded, having the same love, being of one accord, of one mind” (Philippians 2:2). This unity is not achieved through judgment, exclusion, or demanding that everyone be exactly alike. Paul immediately goes on to speak about humility—putting aside selfish ambition and caring about the needs of others.
That is the kind of Christian life we are called to live.
Unfortunately, Christians do not always live up to that calling. Sometimes the people who speak most loudly about faith fail to demonstrate its most basic qualities. When that happens, we have a choice. We can allow their actions to drive us away from God, or we can remember that our faith ultimately rests in God, not in the behavior of other Christians.
Scripture tells us plainly, “God is love, and he who abides in love abides in God, and God in him” (1 John 4:16). That truth does not disappear because someone tells us that we do not belong. God’s love is not dependent upon another person’s approval of us. Our relationship with God belongs to God and us, and no one else gets to define it for us.
The question then becomes: How do we respond when we encounter rejection?
James gives us part of the answer: “Who is wise and understanding among you? Let him show by good conduct that his works are done in the meekness of wisdom” (James 3:13). Our faith should be visible not merely in what we claim to believe but in the way we live. Wisdom is demonstrated through conduct. Faith becomes tangible through our actions, our words, our compassion, and the way we treat other people.
That can be especially difficult when others have hurt us. Our natural instinct may be to answer cruelty with anger, judgment with judgment, and rejection with rejection. There are certainly times when we need to speak against injustice, defend ourselves, or establish boundaries. Being humble does not mean allowing ourselves to be mistreated. But even when we stand firmly against what is wrong, we can choose what kind of people we will become in response.
Paul tells the Ephesians, “Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers” (Ephesians 4:29). Our words matter. They can wound or heal, tear down or build up. When others use Christianity as a reason to condemn us, we do not have to imitate their behavior. We can speak truth while still speaking with grace. We can disagree without surrendering compassion. We can defend ourselves and others without allowing bitterness to consume us.
This does not mean pretending that rejection does not hurt. It does. Nor does forgiveness require us to remain in places where we are continually harmed. Sometimes faithfulness means walking away from people or churches that refuse to treat us with dignity. But walking away from those who hurt us does not require walking away from God.
Instead, we can strive to become the Christians Scripture calls all of us to be.
Ephesians 5:1 gives us a remarkably simple instruction: “Therefore be imitators of God as dear children.” If we want to know how we should live, that is our standard. We do not measure our Christianity against the behavior of the person who rejected us. We measure it against God. We look to Christ and ask whether our lives reflect his love, mercy, compassion, humility, and grace.
For LGBTQ+ Christians, there can be something particularly powerful about refusing to surrender our faith to those who tell us it does not belong to us. Our faith is not theirs to take away. We can continue praying, studying Scripture, worshiping, loving our neighbors, helping those in need, comforting those who hurt, standing beside those who are rejected, and showing through our lives what following Christ means.
Perhaps one of the strongest responses we can make to those who question our faith is simply to live it.
Let our actions demonstrate compassion. Let our words offer grace. Let our deeds show kindness. Let our humility remind us that none of us has all the answers. Let our courage allow us to stand against injustice without becoming consumed by hatred. Above all, let our love point toward the God whom Scripture tells us is love.
Other Christians may sometimes fail to follow Christ’s teachings. So will we, because none of us is perfect. But someone else’s failure does not excuse our own, nor does it have to weaken our faith. Instead, we can return again and again to Christ and allow God to shape us into people who reflect him more fully.
The unity Paul describes in Philippians begins with humility. It asks us to recognize one another with compassion and mercy and to love one another as Christ taught us. We cannot force others to live that way. We can only decide how we will live.
That means choosing courage when we encounter judgment, wisdom when we are angry, and healing when we are wounded. It means learning when to speak, when to forgive, when to establish boundaries, and when to walk away. It means refusing to let another person’s rejection determine our worth or dictate the shape of our faith.
So when faith becomes difficult, hold onto it. When others tell you that you do not belong, remember whose love ultimately matters. When anger and disappointment threaten to overwhelm you, return to the example of Christ. When you wonder how to show the world what you believe, remember that faith is revealed not merely by what we say on Sunday morning but by how we live every day.
Let your life be your testimony. Let your words give grace. Let your deeds show compassion. Seek unity through humility. Stand against injustice without surrendering to hatred. Protect yourself and others through healthy boundaries. And through it all, remain rooted in the simple and enduring truth that God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in them.
The Closet Professor 