I’ve become totally addicted to watching a comedian on YouTube. Her name is Jeanne Robertson. She was born September 21, 1943 and is an American humorist, motivational speaker and a former Miss North Carolina and physical education teacher. I have stayed up past my bedtime two nights in a row just listening to her various stories which often involve her husband who she calls Left Brain. His real name is Jerry, but if you’ll watch you’ll see why she calls him Left Brain. It’s just good old clean southern humor at its best. I can’t get enough of it.
Category Archives: Funny
From humble beginnings at the Hot Damn Trailer Park in Beaver Pond, Vermont, Amber & Margaurite, the Sisters LeMay, have been entertaining for over ten years with silly songs, witty banter and outrageous costumes.
Over the years, a few extra trailers have moved into the park. Not far from the sisters’ double wide you can find the home of Lucy Belle LeMay, their “pretty” southern cousin. Lucy Belle holds the title of Miss Beaver Pond, and has won Best Drag Queen and Biggest Hair at Provincetown’s Carnival Week Drag Bingo. And not to be outdone, Margaurite has won Most Outrageous Drag Queen.
Down the road a piece from the LeMay’s trailer rests the Edna St. Vincent LeMay Memorial Laundromat, Community Center and Lint Museum. The laundromat is often the center of the goings on in Beaver Pond, and is well worth the visit. You’ve never had cleaner underwear!
Amber hosted Drag Queen Bingo, but Lucy Belle was there as well. Lucy Belle was so kind to her fellow southerner. She gave me a copy of their video, Slingbacks and Syrup, which tells the story of the Sisters LeMay.
thanks for your interest: why’d you have to bring this up
would you be so kind: fucking do it
best: i have never physically met you
all best: this conversation is over
all my best: i wish you would die
happy to help: this is the easiest thing in my inbox
i hope this helps: i’ve done all i’m willing to do
i did a bit of research: i googled it, because you’re too lazy to
sorry to chase: answer my email
so sorry to chase: answer my FUCKING email
i am really sorry for being a pest but: i am LIVID that you are ignoring me
please contact my colleague: this isn’t my problem
i’m copying in my colleague: this isn’t my problem and i am thrilled about it
i’ll check and get back to you: i might forget to
i’ll let you know when i hear anything: i will forget to
can you check back with me in a week?: i’m hoping you will forget to
per our earlier conversation: i just yelled at you on the phone
great to chat just now: you just yelled at me on the phone
thanks!: i’m not mad at you
thanks!!: please don’t be mad at me
thanks!!!: i’m crying at my desk
please advise: this might be your fault
kindly advise: this is entirely your fault
mind if i swing by?: i’m already in the elevator
can you confirm for me: you told me before and i deleted the email
sorry if that was unclear: i think you’re an idiot
let me know if you need anything else: please never contact me again
Mary Tyler Moore passed away yesterday. One thing I will always remember her for is what has gone down in history as the funniest scene in television history: the funeral of Chuckles the Clown.
From the Mary Tyler Moore Show: “Chuckles Bites The Dust”
Chuckles the Clown is dead. He had dressed as the character Peter Peanut, and a rogue elephant tried to “shell” him during a parade. The unusual circumstances of Chuckles’ death provoke a wave of jokes (“You know how hard it is to stop after just one peanut!” and, “He could’ve gone as Billy Banana and had a gorilla peel him to death”). Everyone is consumed with uncontrollable laughter, with the exception of Mary, who is appalled by her co-workers’ apparent lack of respect for the dead.
… and now… the funeral of Chuckles the Clown.
Do you have pet insurance? (When they answer no) Too bad because your pussy is getting smashed tonight.
Here’s another one: you pick up a sugar packet and hand it to a guy and say, “You lost your name tag.”
One more: Did you sit in a pile of sugar? Because you have a pretty sweet ass.
So do you know any funny pick up lines? Have you ever used a pick up line and what was it? Have you had someone use a pick up line on you? Are pick up lines ever successful?