Monthly Archives: March 2022
Feeling Sick
I was feeling a bit sick last night. I had a low fever, a headache, and a prickly, burning sensation on the back of my neck. I’m not sure what caused the issue on the back of my neck, but I suspect the fever and headache had to do with some sinus trouble. Anyway, I went to bed early last night.
Dentist
About a month ago, I spent two hours in a dental chair so my dentist could prepare a tooth for a crown. At that time, he put a temporary crown on the tooth while the permanent one was made. Yesterday, I went to get the permanent crown. At the first visit, they’d numbed me up, took an impression, did a lot of drilling, took another impression, and then put in the temporary crown. Yesterday’s procedure was much simpler and only took about thirty minutes. He didn’t have to numb me, which I hate, but that meant there was a modicum of pain associated with yesterday’s procedure. He had to remove the temporary crown which is not exactly pleasant. Then, he had to clean up the tooth and prepare it for the permanent crown, which was popped into place. Easy peasy, or so you’d think. In fact, the procedure was pretty easy. However, when you already have nerve damage in that area (i.e., trigeminal neuralgia), it doesn’t take much to set those nerves on edge. By the time I got home, I had a raging headache that lasted all night.
If any of my readers are dentists, forgive me for what I’m about to say, but how can someone get paid so much to torture people all day long? I’m sure there are some people who don’t think of the dentist as a torturous event, but they wouldn’t be me. Those same people probably don’t have trouble teeth like I do. I’ve always had soft teeth. It’s hereditary in my family, so no matter what I do to take care of my teeth (brushing, flossing, etc.) I still have cavities broken teeth. Thankfully, skilled dentists can fix all of that, but it’s still torture to have it done. I like my dentist a lot, and I’ve had some great dentists in my life, but just because they are nice people doesn’t mean I don’t feel like they torture me. I know they usually do whatever they can to make it as painless as possible, but I still hate going to the dentist. Whether it’s a routine cleaning and exam or a filling or a crown, I always leave in pain. Oh well, what can you do?
No Matter What
No Matter What
Songwriters: Tobias Martin Gad / Calum Scott
When I was a young boy I was scared of growing up
I didn’t understand it but I was terrified of love
Felt like I had to choose but it was outta my control
I needed to be saved, I was going crazy on my own
It took me years to tell my mother, I expected the worst
I gathered all the courage in the world
She said, “I love you no matter what
I just want you to be happy and always be who you are”
She wrapped her arms around me
Said, “Don’t try to be what you’re not
‘Cause I love you no matter what”
She loves me no matter what
I got a little older wishing all my time away
Riding on the pavement, every sunny day was grey
I trusted in my friends then all my world came crashing down
I wish I never said a thing, ’cause to them I’m a stranger now
When I ran home I saw my mother, it was written on my face
Felt like I had a heart of glass about to break
She said, “I love you no matter what
I just want you to be happy and always be who you are”
She wrapped her arms around me
Said, “Don’t try to be what you’re not
‘Cause I love you no matter what”
Yeah
Now I’m a man and I’m so much wiser
I walk the earth with my head held higher
I got the love that I need
But I was still missing one special piece
My father looked at me
He said, “I love you no matter what
I just want you to be happy and always be who you are”
He wrapped his arms around me
Said, “Don’t try to be what you’re not
‘Cause I love you no matter what”
He loves me no matter what
And they love me no matter what
I mentioned to my friend Dylan that I was trying to figure out a song to finish up my “Musical March” posts. Songs, or at least the good one, always make great poetry. Dylan suggested this one. He also suggested “Come to My Window” by Melissa Etheridge or “Montero” by Little Nas X, which are both songs I like, but when I listened to Calum Scott’s “No Matter What,” I had tears in my eyes. The song was very emotional for me. When I came out to my mother, I found out that her love was conditional. She would not love me “no matter what.” My father on the other hand told her that, I was their son, and they’d love me no matter what. While my mother always does what my father says (sometimes much to my dismay), I’m glad she listened this time. Yet, I’ll always know, and she often reminds me, that if it was up to her, she’d have disowned me.
Calum Scott describes “No Matter What” as his “most personal song” and the song he is “most proud of.” The song tells the story of Scott telling his parents he was gay and their reactions of loving him “no matter what.” Scott said “It was a song that I always had to write, and a song I never thought I’d be able to share. This song has so much bones behind it and has such a wider discussion, not only about sexuality but about acceptance.” Adding “This hopefully will be a movement. I want to help people, I want to inspire people, I want to make people more compassionate.”
I wish all parents loved their children “no matter what” especially when they come out as gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, questioning/queer, etc. I’ve known too many parents who put conditions on their love for their children. I don’t want children. At one time, I thought I did because that’s what was expected of me, but I knew I’d never make a good father, not because I wouldn’t love my child unconditionally, but I know I have a temper like my father, and I’d never put a child through that. However, if I did have a child, I would have loved them no matter what. I would be accepting and loving. I don’t understand how anyone can put conditions on the love they give their children.
I wish all parents would be loving and accepting, and I said as much to Dylan who told me, “We have a Heavenly Father who does. Those are His feelings toward us. And you have friends who love you very much too.” I agree with him and said, “I just need to be reminded of that sometimes.” He wisely replied, “Yes, we all do!” We are all part of God’s family, and many in the LGBTQ+ community make our own families. I know I have people that I love and cherish, as much, and sometimes more so, than my own biological family (I’m referring to you here, Susan). Cherish the people in your life who love you “no matter what.”
Procrastination
I can be the world’s worst procrastinator. Sometimes, that’s because of my migraines, but other times it can be just plain laziness. I know I have things that I need to do to get my apartment packed up, but I was too lazy this weekend to get much of it done. I did pack a few boxes, but mostly, I watched movies and television shows. I will start packing in earnest today. I just have to make myself do it and pack one room at a time until I get everything boxed up and ready for the movers. The movers will be here at 8 am on April 6. That should give me plenty of time to get all of the packing done.
Spring’s Renewal
To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven.—Ecclesiastes 3:1
Snow is melting. Temperatures are rising. Bright colors are replacing browns and grays. There’s only one explanation: It must be spring! Spring is a reminder that God is all about making things new. In Revelation 21:5, Jesus promised to make everything new one day, “Then He who sat on the throne said, ‘Behold, I make all things new.’” In the meantime, He gives us glimpses of the coming attractions through spring. To help you celebrate the shift from one season to another, here are some verses that hit on the best themes of spring.
“He shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that brings forth its fruit in its season, whose leaf also shall not wither; and whatever he does shall prosper.” Psalm 1:3
Spring is a time for growth. In nature, that comes from the right combination of sunlight and water. For our spiritual lives, it comes from the right combination of time with God in His word and time with other Christians in fellowship. The alternative is to be chaff that blows away and comes to nothing.
“Then I will give you the rain for your land in its season, the early rain and the latter rain, that you may gather in your grain, your new wine, and your oil.” Deuteronomy 11:14
Life is a balancing act between working like everything depends on you and trusting like everything depends on God. He will send the rains you need, but you’ve also got to do your part by working the harvest.
“Let my teaching drop as the rain, my speech distill as the dew, as raindrops on the tender herb, and as showers on the grass.” Deuteronomy 32:2
You’re never too old to learn, especially when it comes to learning more about God’s love and His goodness. Just like rain provides nourishment to the plants, His word reaches into our hearts and shows us things we never would have imagined.
“So why do you worry about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin; and yet I say to you that even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these.” Matthew 6:28–29
Take a look at the flowers and plants blooming around you. They didn’t worry their way to awesomeness. And you can’t either. God cares about you, so let Him carry your worries and fears. First Peter 5:7 says, “Casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you.”
Whether it’s a long walk on a sunny day or splashing through puddles during an unexpected shower, soak up the blessings of spring. Let the sights, sounds and smells of a new season bring to life something new within you.
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