Monthly Archives: November 2016

My Birthday

Today is my birthday, but it’s not a particularly joyous one. First I’m up here all alone with no one to celebrate with. It’s also been a tough year. Last year on this day, I found out that one of my dearest friends had died in a car wreck the night before. It’s been a year of depression and anxiety. Just when I thought I was doing better, my last grandparent, Granny, died. It’s certainly been a year of heartache.

I do not know what this year brings. I have hope that it will bring a good companion into my life. I have hope that it will be a year of less depression and anxiety. I have hope that I will be able to lose some weight. I have hope that I can get my life back onto a track of happiness. A year ago, I was on that track of happiness and i got severely derailed, but things are looking up. I have hope that they will continue to look up.

By the way, I turn 39 today. This is my last year in my 30s. What will the future hold?


I’d Grown Accustomed to His Face 

I’ve grown accustomed to his face
He almost makes the day begin
I’ve grown accustomed to the tune he whistles night and noon
His smiles, his frowns, his ups and downs
Are second nature to me now
Like breathing out and breathing in
I was serenely independent and content before we met
Surely I could always be that way again and yet
I’ve grown accustomed to his looks, accustomed to his voice
Accustomed to his face

He’s second nature to me now
Like breathing out and breathing in
I’m very grateful he’s a man and so easy to forget
Rather like a habit one can always break and yet
I’ve grown accustomed to the trace of something in the air
Accustomed to his face

Originally this song was “I’ve Grown Accustomed to Her Face” from My Fair Lady. Diana Krall, however, changed the lyrics a bit. I’d change one thing. I would change I’ve to I’d as in I had. You see, a year ago, one of my dearest friends died. I woke up almost every morning to texts from him, and there would be his smiling face. We would always text as we were getting ready for work, or soon thereafter. We would text during the day, and each night before we went to bed, we’d text “Goodnight. I love you.” I never heard him whistle but I knew his ups and downs. I knew his mood from the type of texts I’d get, and I knew when something was wrong.

I was independent if not lonely before we met, but he encouraged me to get out there. He encouraged me to date and he encouraged me to get the job I have now. I’m trying to be what he encouraged me to be, but it’s hard. I feel as if I’ve let him down in some way. I fell into a deep depression when he died in a sudden and horrible car wreck a year ago today. I haven’t wanted to put myself out there, though I’ve tried a few times. New England just isn’t that friendly of a place, and Vermont has tons of lesbians but is a little low on sane gay men.

Texting him was like second nature to me. We were constantly in contact though we lived many hours apart. When I lost him my breath, not to mention my joy, left me. I’m doing better these days. It’s been a year, and I am coping much better. Antidepressants help with that. He’s not so easy to forget, however. He was one of the most loving and generous person I’ve ever known. He wanted to be able to give as much as people had given him when he’d been on hard times. Sadly, he didn’t live long enough to be as generous as he had wanted to be. He left a legacy though that can’t be forgotten. He will always have a place in my heart, and I’ll never forget his beautiful face. The face I’d grown accustomed to.


Gilmore Girls

I don’t know if any of you were a fan of the show Gilmore Girls but I remember watching it when it was first on. I was so happy when Netflix announced that it would be doing four more episodes of the show, and I spent this weekend watching those four episodes. I laughed, I cried, and I laughed and cried some more. It was a very satisfying end. If you were a fan, don’t miss it.


In the Morning of Joy

Listen, I will tell you a mystery! We will not all die, but we will all be changed, in a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet. For the trumpet will sound, and the dead will be raised imperishable, and we will be changed. For this perishable body must put on imperishability, and this mortal body must put on immortality. When this perishable body puts on imperishability, and this mortal body puts on immortality, then the saying that is written will be fulfilled:‘Death has been swallowed up in victory.’ ‘Where, O death, is your victory? Where, O death, is your sting?’ The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.Therefore, my beloved, be steadfast, immovable, always excelling in the work of the Lord, because you know that in the Lord your labour is not in vain.
1 Corinthians 15:51-58


In The Morning of Joy

When the trumpet shall sound,
And the dead shall arise,
And the splendors immortal
Shall envelop the skies;
When the Angel of Death
Shall no longer destroy,
And the dead shall awaken
In the morning of joy:

In the morning of joy,
In the morning of joy,
We’ll be gathered to glory,
In the morning of joy;
In the morning of joy,
In the morning of joy,
We’ll be gathered to glory,
In the morning of joy.

When the King shall appear
In His beauty on high,
And shall summon His children
To the courts of the sky;
Shall the cause of the Lord
Have been all your employ,
That your soul may be spotless
In the morning of joy?

In the morning of joy,
In the morning of joy,
We’ll be gathered to glory,
In the morning of joy;
In the morning of joy,
In the morning of joy,
We’ll be gathered to glory,
In the morning of joy.

O the bliss of that morn,
When our loved ones we meet!
With the songs of the ransomed
We each other shall greet,
Singing praise to the Lamb,
Thro’ eternity’s years,
With the past all forgotten
With its sorrows and tears

In the morning of joy,
In the morning of joy,
We’ll be gathered to glory,
In the morning of joy;
In the morning of joy,
In the morning of joy,
We’ll be gathered to glory,
In the morning of joy.

I’ve had this song in my head lately. As I sang it to myself, tears rolled down my face. This song was sang at my grandmama’s funeral, and I often sang it when I was the song leader of my church. It brings me comfort, since I know that in that morning of joy, I will be reunited with my friends and family.

The above sculpture is called “Angel of Grief” and is an 1894 sculpture by William Wetmore Story which serves as the grave stone of the artist and his wife at the Protestant Cemetery, Rome.


Moment of Zen: Rivalry Weekend

Whether you root for Michigan or Ohio State, Georgia or Georgia Tech, Florida or Florida State, Ole Miss or Mississippi State, Clemson or South Carolina or more importantly Auburn or Alabama, this is an exciting weekend in college football. I couldn’t name all the rivalries, but I named some of the more important ones. Of course to me, the most exciting of them all is the Alabama vs. Auburn game. Who will win? We shall see.


Black Friday

Today, of course, is Black Friday. It means a lot of people are shopping today. I will not be one of them. First of all, I hate crowds. I don’t mind shopping, but I hate the crowds of people shopping on Black Friday. I plan to spend the day inside watching movies or tv shows on Netflix. Then I will watch some football. Will you be shopping today? What will you be doing?


Happy Thanksgiving!

Thanksgiving Day is usually filled with family and food. There are many LGBT out there who are without their families because of the hate and bigotry that exists in this world. I hope those who cannot be with their families, for whatever reasons, have wonderful friends with whom to share this day of Thanksgiving, and I hope they feel the love that I send their way.

I wanted this post to be about all that I am thankful for this year. In many ways, it’s been a year of loses, with the passing of my grandmother recently and the passing of my beloved friend who I lost nearly a year ago. There have been some bright spots though. With my birthday, (it’s next week), I will begin a new year of my life with hope and promise for a wonderful future. I am so thankful for my family. They may drive me crazy at times, but I love them and they love me. I am thankful for the love and companionship provided by my dear kitten Isabella, who will never replace HRH, but she is a wonderful and joyous companions. I am thankful for the wonderful people with whom I have the pleasure to work. I am thankful to be alive and in a happy point in my life. Most of all, I am thankful for my many friends in my life. Some of them are people I’ve never met in person, but have formed a connection with through my blog. For them, I want to say, you are as important to me and as loved by me as if you were a friend I saw everyday. I love you all! Thank you for being my friends.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!


Stonewall

The other night, I watched the movie Stonewall, a completely fictionalized account of the Stonewall Riots. While there is very little historical facts in the movie, I found it quite enjoyable to watch. The best part of the movie is the gorgeous Jeremy Irvine. Stonewall is a drama about a young man caught up during the 1969 Stonewall riots. Danny Winters (Jeremy Irvine) is forced to leave behind friends and loved ones when he is kicked out of his parent’s home and flees to New York. Alone in Greenwich Village, homeless and destitute, he befriends Ray (Jonny Beauchamp) and a group of street kids who soon introduce him to the local watering hole The Stonewall Inn; however, this shady, mafia-run club is far from a safe-haven. As Danny and his friends experience discrimination, endure atrocities and are repeatedly harassed by the police, we see a rage begin to build. This emotion runs through the entire community of young gays, lesbians, drag queens and trans people who populate the Stonewall Inn and erupts in a storm of anger. With the toss of a single brick, a riot ensues and a crusade for equality is born.

If you haven’t seen it, it is currently available on Amazon Prime  Video. It may also be on Netflix, but I watched it on Amazon Video. It’s well worth watching.


The Garden

The Garden
By Helen Hoyt

Do not fear.
The garden is yours
And it is yours to gather the fruits
And every flower of every kind,
And to set the high wall about it
And the closed gates.
The gates of your wall no hand shall open,
No feet shall pass,
Through all the days until your return.
Do not fear.

But soon,
Soon let it be, your coming!
For the pathways will grow desolate waiting,
The flowers say, “Our loveliness has no eyes to behold it!”
The leaves murmur all day with longing,
All night the boughs of the trees sway themselves with longing…

O Master of the Garden,
O my sun and rain and dew,
Come quickly.


Why Jeff Sessions Is a Disaster!

Last week, Trump set the United States back at least fifty years with the appointment of Jeff Sessions as Attorney General. Sessions was an Assistant United States Attorney in the Office of the United States Attorney for the Southern District of Alabama beginning in 1975. In 1981, President Reagan nominated Sessions to be the U.S. Attorney for the Southern District of Alabama. The Senate confirmed him and he held that position for 12 years. Sessions’ office investigated the 1981 killing of Michael Donald, a young African-American man who was murdered in Mobile, Alabama by a pair of Ku Klux Klan members. Session’s office did not prosecute the case, but both men were arrested and convicted.

Then in 1985, Sessions prosecuted three African American community organizers in the Black belt of Alabama, including Martin Luther King Jr’s former aide Albert Turner, for voter fraud. The prosecution stirred charges of selective prosecution of Black voter registration and was based on no more than 14 tampered ballots. The defendants, known as the Marion Three, were quickly acquitted. Interviewed in 2009, Sessions said he remained convinced that he did the right thing, but admitted he “failed to make the case.”

Sessions has referred to the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People (NAACP) and the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) as “un-American” and “Communist-inspired” because they “forced civil rights down the throats of people.” At his 1986 confirmation hearing for a US District Court seat, Thomas Figures, a black Assistant U.S. Attorney, testified that Sessions said he thought the Ku Klux Klan was “OK until I found out they smoked pot.” Whether what Figures testified to or not was true, it is readily apparent that Sessions cares little for civil rights other than those of his own race.

If his Civil Rights record wasn’t bad enough, Sessions as Alabama Attorney General became famous for outlawing sex toys in Alabama. Not a dildo could be bought, which left safe sex educators to be forced to use bananas to educate on the proper use of a condom. As Attorney General, Sessions also worked to deny funding to student Gay-Straight Alliances at The University of Alabama, Auburn University and The University of South Alabama, stating “an organization that professes to be comprised of homosexuals and/or lesbians may not receive state funding or use state-supported facilities to foster or promote those illegal, sexually deviate activities defined in the sodomy and sexual misconduct laws.” He accomplished little else in his two year tenure before becoming a senator.

As a Senator, he was one of nine Senators who voted against a Senate amendment to a House bill that prohibited cruel, inhumane, or degrading treatment or punishment of individuals in the custody or under the physical control of the United States Government. Sessions has taken a strong stand against any form of citizenship for illegal immigrants. Sessions was one of the most vocal critics of the Comprehensive Immigration Reform Act of 2007. He has advocated for expanded construction of a Southern border fence.

Furthermore, Sessions has been a vocal opponent of the National Endowment for the Humanities. He criticized the foundation for distributing books related to Islam to hundreds of U.S. libraries, saying “Using taxpayer dollars to fund education program grant questions that are very indefinite or in an effort to seemingly use Federal funds on behalf of just one religion, does not on its face appear to be the appropriate means to establish confidence in the American people that NEH expenditures are wise.”

Sessions has been an opponent of same-sex marriage and has earned a zero rating from the Human Rights Campaign, the United States’ largest LGBTQ advocacy group. He voted against the Matthew Shepard Act, which added acts of bias-motivated violence based on sexual orientation and gender identity to federal hate-crimes law, commenting that it “has been said to cheapen the civil rights movement” Sessions voted in favor of advancing the Federal Marriage Amendment in 2004 and 2006, a U.S. constitutional amendment which would have permanently restricted federal recognition of marriages to those between a man and a woman. Sessions voted against the Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell Repeal Act of 2010.

Sessions is against legalizing cannabis for either recreational or medicinal use. “I’m a big fan of the DEA”, he said during a hearing with the Senate Judiciary Committee. Sessions was “heartbroken” and found “it beyond comprehension” when President Obama claimed that cannabis is not as dangerous as alcohol. In April 2016, he said that it was important to foster “knowledge that this drug is dangerous, you cannot play with it, it is not funny, it’s not something to laugh about… and to send that message with clarity that good people don’t smoke marijuana.”

So when someone asks why are so many gays afraid of Trump? I can simply and easily point to Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III. The Attorney General is the safeguard of civil liberties and human rights in the United States, but Jeff Sessions does not believe in civil liberties or human rights. He is a bigot. Trump’s appointees so far have been largely bigots: Sessions, Bannon, and Flynn. How much more must he do before people realize we are in the process of losing fifty years of progress.


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