Monthly Archives: April 2014



A sapiosexual is one who finds intelligence the most sexually attractive feature.

I want an incisive, inquisitive, insightful, irreverent mind. I want someone for whom philosophical discussion is foreplay. I want someone who sometimes makes me go ouch due to their wit and evil sense of humor. I want someone that I can reach out and touch randomly, and I want that someone to be somebody that I can cuddle with. I have decided all that means that I must be a sapiosexual.

I also want someone that won’t find me boring I have a lot of trivial knowledge in my head and have been described as being very passionate about many topics. Sometimes that knowledge comes pouring out and I want someone who eyes will not glaze over with utter boredom.

Occasionally, I come across a word that just fascinates me. Sapiosexual came from the Urban Dictionary. This particular word seemed to describe me pretty well. The one ing I would add is that I would prefer that other person have a penis. I guess that makes me a “homo” sapiosexual. How many of you would describe yourself as a “homo” sapiosexual.

Follow Your Arrow


“Follow Your Arrow”
Kacey Musgraves

If you save yourself for marriage
You’re a bore
If you don’t save yourself for marriage
You’re a horr…ible person
If you won’t have a drink
Then you’re a prude
But they’ll call you a drunk
As soon as you down the first one

If you can’t lose the weight
Then you’re just fat
But if you lose too much
Then you’re on crack
You’re damned if you do
And you’re damned if you don’t
So you might as well just do
Whatever you want

Make lots of noise
Kiss lots of boys
Or kiss lots of girls
If that’s something you’re into
When the straight and narrow
Gets a little too straight
Roll up a joint, or don’t
Just follow your arrow
Wherever it points, yeah
Follow your arrow
Wherever it points

If you don’t go to church
You’ll go to hell
If you’re the first one
On the front row
You’re self-righteous
Son of a-
Can’t win for losing
You’ll just disappoint ’em
Just ’cause you can’t beat ’em
Don’t mean you should join ’em

So make lots of noise
Kiss lots of boys
Or kiss lots of girls
If that’s something you’re into
When the straight and narrow
Gets a little too straight
Roll up a joint, or don’t
Just follow your arrow
Wherever it points, yeah
Follow your arrow
Wherever it points

Say what you think
Love who you love
‘Cause you just get
So many trips ’round the sun
Yeah, you only
Only live once

So make lots of noise
Kiss lots of boys
Or kiss lots of girls
If that’s what you’re into
When the straight and narrow
Gets a little too straight
Roll up a joint, I would
And follow your arrow
Wherever it points, yeah
Follow your arrow
Wherever it points

Sometimes a song really resonates with me, and as I think music should be, it is also beautiful poetry. I came across this song as a free download from my Starbucks app. One listen, and I was hooked. After listening to “Follow Your Arrow” from Musgraves’ Same Trailer Different Park!, the Nashville-based singer-songwriter’s first album for Mercury Records, it’s clear that this is a girl who has something to say. A true language artist, Kacey nimbly spins webs of words to create the quirky puns, shrewd metaphors, and steely ironies that fill the record. She is also the recipient of the 2013 CMA New Artist of the Year award, the 2014 Grammy for Best Country Album and Best Countey Song for “Merry Go ‘Round,” and the 2014 ACM Album of the Year.

On “Follow Your Arrow,” she points out the hypocrisies that society imposes on even the most conservative among us (If you save yourself for marriage you’re a bore/If you don’t save yourself for marriage you’re a horr…ible person) which she balances with a chorus that preaches throwing caution and propriety to the wind: (Make lots of noise/Kiss lots of boys/Or kiss lots of girls if that’s something your into/When the straight and narrow gets a little too straight/Roll up a joint/Or don’t/Follow your arrow wherever it points.) Her message is clear: Be yourself and be happy.

Musgraves’ first two singles, “Merry Go ‘Round” and “Blowin’ Smoke,” struck a chord with country fans because of Musgraves’ outspoken lyrics. Her third single, “Follow Your Arrow,” was released to radio this week and turns the real talk up to ten. In it she discusses a few controversial topics, including one mainstream country rarely — if ever — tackles: homosexuality. “Kiss lots of boys/Or kiss lots of girls if that’s something you’re into,” she sings.

“Well I hope it gets attention because I think it’s definitely time for those issues to be accepted in country music — I mean it’s 2013,” she said. “Regardless of your political beliefs, everybody should be able to love who they want to love and live how they want to live. We’re all driven by the same emotions; we all want to be loved and want to feel the same things. So, hopefully people will put aside their personal, political agenda and just agree with that fact.”

I am particularly excited because I am going to see Kacey Misgrave in concert on Saturday. She will be opening along with Kip Moore for Lady Antebellum. Besides being a fan of Musgrave and being very excited to see her, I am also excited to see Lady Antebellum, because Charles Kelley is one of the sexiest men in country music.


Piano Man


Since last Mondays post was sort of, in the language of Instagram, a “Man Crush Monday” post, I thought I’d do that again. Last Monday, I wrote about my attraction to country boys. I have to say that I really do enjoy country boys, but I also love a man with more sophistication. When I say that, I do not mean in the least that all country boys are uncouth and unsophisticated. While many might be, some of us aren’t. I was raised a country boy in rural south Alabama. Most anything those rough and ready country boys can do, I can do as well. I just happen not to enjoy most of those things. I’ve always loved theater and concerts and well, the arts in general. I love to read and I love to travel and explore new places and learn new things.

My mother always wanted her children to be raised right. She wanted us to have manners and sophistication, at least enough to be comfortable in formal surroundings. She did quite well by me, my sister is another story. Besides knowing which fork to use at dinner and how to be polite and graceful (I’m not always graceful, though it try), mother always believed that there was one important thing that every southern child should learn: how to play the piano. So as the dutiful son, I took piano lessons. My sister did too but did not stick to it as long as I did. I enjoyed playing he piano, but only took lessons for a few years. I wish I had taken lessons longer, but for whatever reason, I didn’t.

However, I have always admired a man who could play the piano. In fact, I find a man who is so nimble with his fingers tickling the ivory that he is surely good with his hands in a number of ways. In the 1999 gay romantic comedy Trick, Gabriel, an office temp by day and aspiring Broadway composer by night, becomes smitten with Mark, a go-go dancer, in a gay bar with whom he makes eye contact. One of the plots of the movie is that Gabriel and Mark spend most of the night looking for a place to be alone. In one scene they go back to Gabriel’s apartment, where Gabriel confesses a secret fantasy of his. He’s always fantasized about getting a blowjob while he plays the piano. It turns out to not be nearly as easy or as sexy when the two characters try to play out this fantasy. Whereas, in the movie it is not anywhere near as sexy as it sounds, I still find it to be a fantasy of mine.

So as the Billy Joel song goes:

Sing us a song you’re the piano man
Sing us a song tonight
Well we’re all in the mood for a melody
And you’ve got us feeling alright

His Steadfast Love Endures Forever


Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good,
for his steadfast love endures forever.
Give thanks to the God of gods,
for his steadfast love endures forever.
Give thanks to the Lord of lords,
for his steadfast love endures forever;
to him who alone does great wonders,
for his steadfast love endures forever;
to him who by understanding made the heavens,
for his steadfast love endures forever;
to him who spread out the earth above the waters,
for his steadfast love endures forever;
to him who made the great lights,
for his steadfast love endures forever;
the sun to rule over the day,
for his steadfast love endures forever;
the moon and stars to rule over the night,
for his steadfast love endures forever;
to him who struck down the firstborn of Egypt,
for his steadfast love endures forever;
and brought Israel out from among them,
for his steadfast love endures forever;
with a strong hand and an outstretched arm,
for his steadfast love endures forever;
to him who divided the Red Sea in two,
for his steadfast love endures forever;
and made Israel pass through the midst of it,
for his steadfast love endures forever;
but overthrew Pharaoh and his host in the Red Sea,
for his steadfast love endures forever;
to him who led his people through the wilderness,
for his steadfast love endures forever;
to him who struck down great kings,
for his steadfast love endures forever;
and killed mighty kings,
for his steadfast love endures forever;
Sihon, king of the Amorites,
for his steadfast love endures forever;
and Og, king of Bashan,
for his steadfast love endures forever;
and gave their land as a heritage,
for his steadfast love endures forever;
a heritage to Israel his servant,
for his steadfast love endures forever.
It is he who remembered us in our low estate,
for his steadfast love endures forever;
and rescued us from our foes,
for his steadfast love endures forever;
he who gives food to all flesh,
for his steadfast love endures forever.
Give thanks to the God of heaven,
for his steadfast love endures forever.

Psalm 136

No less than 26 times the psalmist reiterates the same combination of words in Psalm 136, “for his steadfast love endures forever.” He reflects on the glory of God, and marvels at the wisdom that stretched out the heavens and flung the great stars in the sky, yet more than anything else is blown away by God’s mercy. He carefully turns the frayed pages of history, only to find each one drenched with the goodness of God.

In the process, he also reminds us that the road to life eternal is not a straight highway lined with shady green trees without any ascends or dips on the way. There will be occasional detours through the wilderness, times when you will be required to swap your frail walking stick for a steely sword and engage in combat with all your might and valor. These are perhaps situations and circumstances that we don’t normally associate with goodness and love. But for the psalmist, every event that came to his mind from the nation’s history affirmed God’s unfailing love to His children.

I believe that the most used trick in Devil’s bag is creating doubt – Self doubt, but more importantly doubt about God’s goodness and His love towards us. We see this constantly with people who call themselves Christians and they teach only hate. They hate the LGBT community, they hate the poor for not working hard enough, they hate anyone who needs God’s steadfast love that endures forever. These people want to place self doubt in our minds so that we think we are not good enough. Only those who they deem spiritually acceptable because they can be scared into larger donations are accepted, but it is the work of the devil that teaches them the hate that they spew to all those that don’t fit their narrow description of Christianity. They don’t want people to believe in God’s steadfast love that endures forever, because if one believes what God teaches us about His love, then we cannot have self doubt.

It was the weak ones who were most attracted to Jesus. Lepers, blind men, sick and the lame formed the regular crowd. It is the people in the margins that Jesus went to and befriended. They had nowhere to go and they knew that all too well. In Jesus’ parable, the righteous Pharisee who prayed long and loud had nothing right. Yet the tax-collector, sinful as he was, went home justified. It is in our weakness that we are closest to God, and when we acknowledge that we are weak, He lends his strong arm and lifts us up. The unknown Psalmist seems to agree: “It is he who remembered us in our low estate, for his steadfast love endures forever.”

Moment of Zen: Athletic Shorts




As the temperature becomes warmer, men begin to wear shorts out in public more often. I happen to find athletic shorts (and bathing suits/board shorts) very sexy. All of the women I know, find them disgusting. One even calls them “wiener shorts.” But what do women know? It’s gay men who create the aesthetics in this world, and I find athletic shorts aesthetically pleasing and often quite revealing. And lets don’t forget how well they show off a man’s best ass-ets.

7 Careers “Christians” May No Longer Hold

Though his organization has become notorious for its anti-gay proclamations, American Family Association President Tim Wildmon has sparked the ire of the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) community once again after sending a bizarre email which claimed that the list of careers that Christians can hold is “shrinking” because of “homosexual aggression.”

Noting that the LGBT community “pro-actively” seeks “opportunities to wreck the personal business and career” of Christians who don’t support same-sex marriage and other rights, Wildmon cited examples of what he described as a “focused effort to ostracize and humiliate faith-based businesses and their owners,” according to Right Wing Watch. The list of careers included photography, counseling, baking and teaching.

Among the cases Wildmon cited in the email, according to the report, was Sweet Cakes by Melissa, the Oregon bakery owned by Aaron and Melissa Klein which sparked controversy after citing their religious beliefs in their decision not to prep a cake for a same-sex couple’s wedding ceremony. Also referenced were Vermont’s Wildflower Inn, which no longer hosts weddings after being fined $30,000 for turning away a same-sex couple, and Washington florist Barronelle Stutzman, who is currently facing a lawsuit from her state’s attorney general after refusing to create floral arrangements for a same-sex couple.

To see the full list of careers that Wildmon implied were off-limits to Christians, click here.

Wildmon’s remarks echo those of his American Family Association co-hort Bryan Fischer, who recently claimed that Christians should “reclaim discrimination” against the LGBT community.

“There are times when discrimination is the right thing to do,” Fischer, who compared the gay community to shoplifters, said at the time. “It is right to discriminate against people who engage in aberrant sexual behavior. We should discriminate against people like that.”

People like Wildmon and Fischer and the so-called “Christians” like him should be banned from these jobs, especially teaching. If you are a teacher and purposely inflict harm, emotionally or physically, then you should not be allowed to teach. A teacher is meant to expand the minds of students, not narrow their minds. It is utterly ridiculous for people like American Family Association and their ilk to be allowed to make perverse statements like these. Why can these people not understand the loving nature of Christianity? These people only strive on ignorance and hate because they feel that it is the only way to control the minds of others.

Wrestling Demons by Xavier Mayne


Last week, I reviewed Frat House Troopers by Xavier Mayne and I couldn’t wait to read Wrestling Demons, the second book in the Brandt and Donnelly Capers by Xavier Mayne. Last night, I finished Wrestling Demons, and though I expected a great and thought provoking read as I had with Frat House Troopers, I was surprised at how Wrestling Demons was even better. The wrestlers, Jonah and Casey, are more the stars of this book than Brandt and Donnelly, but it isn’t long before you are as smitten with the 18 year old high school wrestlers as you are for Brandt and Donnelly

In Wrestling Demons, Jonah Fischer’s high school wrestling career has been stellar, but now he’s the unwilling star of a series of videos that have hit the web. The whole world may have seen the evidence that his best friend turns him on. Jonah’s conservative family wants him cured, and his conventional town and school want him normal. The only person who still wants him just the way he is is Casey Melville, the same best friend who turned him on for all the world to see. Meanwhile, Casey begins to wonder if there’s more to his feelings for Jonah than he thought.

Officers Brandt and Donnelly—lovers as well as partners on the job—have been assigned to find the culprit who posted the video. While investigating the case, they also help Jonah and Casey find their way through their feelings, and steer them toward refuge when Jonah’s family turns against him. But the mystery remains: who wants to hurt Jonah badly enough to post those videos, and why? Thank goodness Jonah and Casey have found friends—they’re going to need all the help and support they can get.

Xavier Mayne is well-versed in academic theories of sexual identity, and is passionate about writing stories in which men experience a love that pushes them beyond the boundaries they thought defined their sexuality. He believes that romance can be hot, funny, and sweet in equal measure. Once again, he proves this in Wrestling Demons. Mayne writes sex scenes they way they should be written in a book: organic so the sex play easily into the story and plays an integral part in the plot but not so overly done that the book becomes erotic fiction. To me, the sex scenes written by Mayne are more erotic and sexually charged than any book I’ve ever read, and they don’t come across as silly hyperboles.

As my readers know, I am a religious person, and so in many ways this book hit home on so many levels because of the religious questions that are brought up. I don’t want to give away too much of what happens in the book, but one of the characters attends a church that is very welcoming to everyone and is vastly different from the ultra-conservative church of his youth. Instead of the character turning his back on religion, he sees what religion can truly be, a welcoming and accepting journey. The struggles the character faces between the damning church of his youth and the welcoming church he finds, is a dichotomy that truly warmed my heart. Instead of a maybe doing as many gay authors do and wrote how the character rejected religion, it instead showed not only how wrong these hate filled churches are but also shows what is right when Christians show compassion and acceptance.

One of the reason I have so enjoyed reading Xavier Mayne’s books is that not only is ere a great story, but also but their are deeper meaning and lessons contained within. Thank you Xavier Mayne for such a delightful read. I look forward to more capers from Brandt and Donnelly’s case files.

Fell Asleep


I fell asleep last night as I was getting ready to write my post for today, and I could barely keep my eyes open to type this. Have a wonderful day.

From “I Sing the Body Electric” by Walt Whitman


I knew a man, a common farmer, the father of five sons,
And in them the fathers of sons, and in them the fathers of sons.

This man was a wonderful vigor, calmness, beauty of person,
The shape of his head, the pale yellow and white of his hair and
beard, the immeasurable meaning of his black eyes, the richness
and breadth of his manners,
These I used to go and visit him to see, he was wise also,
He was six feet tall, he was over eighty years old, his sons were
massive, clean, bearded, tan-faced, handsome,
They and his daughters loved him, all who saw him loved him,
They did not love him by allowance, they loved him with personal
He drank water only, the blood show’d like scarlet through the
clear-brown skin of his face,
He was a frequent gunner and fisher, he sail’d his boat himself, he
had a fine one presented to him by a ship-joiner, he had
fowling-pieces presented to him by men that loved him,
When he went with his five sons and many grand-sons to hunt or fish,
you would pick him out as the most beautiful and vigorous of
the gang,
You would wish long and long to be with him, you would wish to sit
by him in the boat that you and he might touch each other.

Country Boys


There is just something about the rough and rugged country boy. Someone who’s worked hard and is dirty and sweaty with the musculature only hard manual labor can provide and the gym can’t. These men are the men of fantasies and can make a man like me weak in the knees. Some might be classified as a cowboy, others as a farmer, and some might even be called a good ol’ boy or redneck, but those are loaded terms.


The term redneck has expanded in meaning beyond the poor Southerner to refer to “a bigoted and conventional person, a loutish ultra-conservative.” It is often used to attack white Southern conservative. And while as a general rule this may be true, I’ve known many a Southern man who had a rough and rugged exterior, but a heart of gold. Not all of them are quite so conservative either. As the world changes, so do the rednecks. The younger generation is more accepting of gays men and especially gay women (not for the lesbian fantasy but because they are often very hard workers and can out man a lot of men). Religion sometimes gets in the way of this progress, but I think we will see that change as well. Religion used to be one of the factors behind racism, but that is disappearing as well, and is in fact, almost non existent. I think the same will happen with homophobia.

The term redneck and good ol’ boy is also used broadly to degrade working class and rural whites that are perceived by urban progressives to be insufficiently liberal. Living in a rural area myself, I can attest to some of the small changes. It’s slow progress, but the South has always been slow with progress. Even the Progressive Movement in America itself came to the South twenty to thirty years after the rest of the country. And though they are still catching up, they will. Progress comes slow, but I have the hope and faith that it will continue to come to the South.


At the same time, some white Southerners have reclaimed these words, using it with pride and defiance as a self-identifier. If you come to the South from a more liberal area, you won’t see it. You have to see the more subtle changes, but it will happen, if you get to know the people and don’t judge them. If you want to see the real change, look at the profiles on Manhunt, Grindr, or any other gay hook-up site in the South and you will see more of redneck gay culture than you’d expect. These gay men are men you’d never suspect to be gay, but they love the country life. They love their rural surroundings, and they love a sexy man in a pair of Wrangler jeans.


Don’t dismiss the South or other rural areas. They will come around. It may just take a while. Those sweaty, dirty, calloused handed, country boys are the stuff of legend. Save a horse, ride a cowboy.