Category Archives: Miscellaneous

Tired

I went shopping in New Hampshire with a friend of mine yesterday. We had lunch and went to several stores. We took this shopping trip because we both needed to go to Target. I also showed her some of the sites down that way, and then we headed back home. When we got back to her apartment, she unloaded her purchases, and we decided it was dinner time, so we had dinner and sat and talked for a while. Time got away from us, and I didn’t drop her back off at her apartment until after 8 pm. While we had been in the restaurant, it had apparently snowed, so it was a slow drive back home. It was only lightly snowing when we went in the restaurant, and the forecast has said we were only expecting snow flurries. This turned out to be more than a few flurries, but it wasn’t so bad that I had to get my snow brush out. However, it was enough snow to slow down traffic, so it took a bit longer than usual to get back home. When I finally made it back home, I was pretty tired, so I wrote this short post and went to bed.


Decisions, Decisions

Every night, I plan out what I am going to wear the next day. I used to plan things out a week ahead, and while I still have a vague idea of what I’ll wear each day to work, I usually make the final decision the night before. However, when it comes to plans for events, whether at the museum or out with friends, I tend to plan those outfits well in advance. This week, I don’t have any events, and I’ll mostly be installing the new exhibit, so I will dress for comfort. I will also dress for the weather. Today is expected to be quite a snowy day, though the temperatures will be more mild. The rest of the week, the mornings will be significantly colder as I’ll wake up each day with subzero temperatures.

Some of you probably think I’m silly or shallow because I worry so much about what I’ll wear, but truthfully, I wish deciding my outfit for the day was the only decision I had to make. I’m still looking for an apartment. I’ve found a few that are available but getting someone to answer my inquiries has proved to be quite an issue. Also, I really have to decide what is actually affordable for me because rent has gone up here by quite a bit. I also need to decide how far away from work I want to live. I’m pretty certain I have no desire to live in the same town where I work, which I have done for the past six years or so. It always seemed because I’d lived the closest, then I get called on to deal with more stuff. Take today for instance, the snow is supposed to be terrible and I may be the only one who can make it into work. That can get annoying real quick.

When the time comes for me to make the final decision about a new apartment, I only hope that Ralph Waldo Emerson was right when he said, “Once you make a decision, the universe conspires to make it happen.”


I Don’t Know

Last night was just one of those nights where I had no idea what to write for a post today. Plus, my brain was just tired and feeling uninspired. We’ll see what today brings.


Apartment Hunting

Apartment hunting sucks! It always has. It’s worse when you have pets because it makes the choices fewer. I looked at an apartment last Friday, but it was very small and the upstairs bedroom and bathroom was was heated by passive heat, meaning there were no heaters upstairs just vents in the floor for the heat to rise from the first floor.

I was offered the apartment on Saturday, but when I asked to measure the apartment (or get measurements) to make sure my furniture would fit, I was told that an answer was needed by that evening. I had wanted to look at another apartment I’d come across a listing for, but he wouldn’t hold off until Monday or yesterday to give me time to go my and make some measurements. So, I passed on the apartment.

I decided I would concentrate on the other apartment I’d found. It is in a nearby town, but the apartment looks beautiful and has some great amenities. Also, all utilities except electricity, phone, cable and/or internet are included. The rent is also more reasonable than the apartment I was offered. Here’s the problem though, I have called and emailed multiple times, and I can’t get a response. It’s frustrating and infuriating. Why would you advertise an apartment and then not respond to people who inquire about the apartment. I’ll keep trying to get a response. This is Vermont after all. Vermonters work on their own schedule, which is not always what’s convenient for anybody else.

I’ll keep looking. Thankfully, I have time to look, but it makes me so nervous and anxious. It’s really affecting my health at the moment.

In some better news, I went to see an otolaryngologist on Monday for a consultation for the Inspire therapy device for my sleep apnea. She said that I fit all of the criteria and after examining my nasal passages and knowing my history with trigeminal neuralgia, the Inspire device is my best option. Dartmouth will call me in the next week to schedule a sleep induced endoscopy. They need to see what my throat does when I sleep. If it’s closing front to back, then they’ll start the process of scheduling me for the surgery to implant the Inspire device. If my throat closes side to side, then the Inspire won’t work, and we’ll talk then about what other options are available.

The process is going to take some time. I was told that the endoscopy probably can’t be scheduled until late February or early March. If all goes well, it will be a couple more months before they can do the surgery. At best, it will be late April or early May before I can get the surgery. At least it gives me hope for something to look forward to.


My Problem

Last week, I referred to getting some distressing news. Some of you are probably wondering what happened to put me in such a depressed state. Last Friday (yes, on New Year’s Eve), my landlord sent me an email saying he wants me to move out by the end of May 2022. 

This came about due to a disagreement we have been having for approximately six months. He and his wife are absolute clean freaks. They came into my apartment this past July to change the batteries in my smoke detectors. They claimed they saw cat hair on the baseboards (Isabella barely sheds); they said they could smell the litter box (I have a self-cleaning litterbox that has no smell to it). So… they decided they would come back in two weeks and do their “annual inspection” (something they have never done with my neighbor below). I scrubbed down my apartment, yet they still found things to complain about: the drip pans on my stove needed replacing; my oven needed cleaning (which had only one spill the size of a quarter); there was a dirty place under the refrigerator (I had never noticed that when I spilled something it had gone under the refrigerator); etc. 

Each time they returned to do another inspection, they found one issue after another to nitpick and complain about. They were all minor issues—something I may have overlooked, but I had no way of knowing they were going to go over the place with a fine-tooth comb. 

In early December, my landlord came to replace the tiles under the refrigerator claiming the refrigerator was leaking although it had only been a small spill that was easily cleaned up and was not continuously happening. He came in while I was at work. Apparently, he did another close inspection of the entire apartment without me being there, and decided I was unable to keep up with the terms of the lease which states I should maintain a clean and healthy living space. He then waited three weeks to say anything. 

My apartment is clean and healthy, but I am not obsessively compulsive about cleaning. I keep the apartment at a level of cleanliness that the average person would not have an issue with. They, on the other hand, want things to look the same as when I moved in which was not sparkling then either. If I had not had a lot of health problems this past year, I might have met their excessive requirements, but I don’t think anything would have satisfied them. I’ve explained about my illnesses, but they don’t seem to care or want to understand. Their solution was, I should hire a maid. How was I ever going to afford that?

I have always paid my rent on time. I am quiet and do my best not to disturb anyone. I am always nice and polite to everyone that lives there including the landlords. I have had a few guests, i.e., hookups, over, but they claim to be LGBTQ+ friendly. However, I feel they are watching me all the time. I honestly don’t know what the issue is. I can’t understand why I am being treated this way. After each of their visits, they kept saying they wanted me to live there for a long time; they wanted me as a resident. Yet, that feels farthest from the truth. They want me gone. 

So, since receiving last Friday’s email, I’ve been looking for a new place to live. It is exceedingly difficult in Vermont to find a rental property that allows pets. Also, most require a reference from your last landlord. I have no idea what he is going to say when asked for one. I want to be out of my current apartment—soon. I want to wash my hands of my current landlords. I just hope they are not going to obstruct me getting a new apartment. 

I am absolutely horrified and embarrassed I have been treated this way; it has been wearing on me over these past six months. I had thought I would be able to satisfy them, but apparently, that was never going to happen. 

There is some good news, though. This Friday, I will be looking at an apartment, and I have another one I want to inquire about. I’m mostly happy in the small town where I live because my museum is here, but I also wouldn’t mind moving to one of the other towns around me. I just hope I can find somewhere that will accept Isabella and doesn’t cost a fortune. 🤞 *fingers crossed* 🤞


What Can I Say?

It turns out that there is not much to say today. I’m still in a bit of a funk and a bit depressed, but it’s getting better, I think/hope. Our new curator started. I really like her, so I hope it all works out for her here. Work has been busy getting her settled into her job, but she does seem to be fitting in just fine. Work though keeps my mind off of things that are bothering me, so that’s good. Anyway, like I said, there isn’t much to say today.


Another Year Begins

My year did not end on a particular high note this year. In fact, I got what felt like devastating news. However, I’m going to make the best I can of the situation. It’s not something I want to discuss just yet, but it put me in a funk all weekend. On New Year’s Day, I tried to take my mind off of my troubles.

I cooked a nice traditional (or as traditional as I can make it in Vermont) New Year’s meal: collard greens, black-eyed peas, ham, and turkey and dressing. The turkey and dressing is not exactly tradition nor is the ham in my family traditions, but it’s the best I could do. We usually have sliced fried hog jowls (think salty bacon with a hard rind) instead of ham and chicken and dumplings instead of turkey and dressing, but I made do with what I could get.

After lunch, I took a nice leisurely drive. I needed to get out of my apartment for a bit to get my mind off of some things. I didn’t drive anywhere in particular, but I just wanted to be out and about. I just felt restless, and I really needed to clear my mind.

Yesterday, we had rain, sleet, and snow all day. We got at least a couple of inches, which will make going back to work this morning a pain because I’ll have to clean the snow off my car. I love seeing it snow, but snow removal is something I truly hate. It’s also going to be 9 degrees this morning. Our high is only supposed to be 18 degrees. (Those degrees are in Fahrenheit, by the way.)

The good thing is that our new curator at the museum starts today. I can’t wait. I have been looking forward to her starting since we lost our last curator. I’ll still have more than my usual share of work to do until she gets fully comfortable in her new job, but at least the day has finally come. I also hope that having my mind on work will help me to feel better and finally get 2022 off to a good start.


Solo New Year’s Eve

I was supposed to be going to New Queers Eve (NQE) tonight with friends; however, because of the Omicron variant of Covid-19 and rising case numbers, NQE has been postponed until March 4. That means it will be about two weeks after Winter Is a Drag Ball, which has “The Good, The Bad, and The Fabulous” as its theme in 2022. For that, I have an outfit, and with just over two months until the postponed NQE, I should have an outfit figured out for that one too.

Since I will not be going out tonight, I’ll ring in the New Year with Isabella, but she won’t be getting any champagne, although she might get a kiss if she lets me give her one. I am sure by midnight, she’ll be sound asleep, or she’ll be pestering me to go to bed. She doesn’t like me staying up late, which may have everything to do with me sleeping later when I do stay up, and if I sleep later, then she gets fed later. She expects her breakfast no later than 5:45 am, but earlier if possible.

If you do end up going out tonight please be careful. If you don’t know the vaccination status of everyone, and probably even if you do, please wear a mask. Have fun if you do, and I hope you get a kiss from someone you love or just someone you want to make out with or someone you want to be your first fuck of the year. I’ll live vicariously through y’all.

Photo Credit: Twitter


The Grass Is Greener

Ever since I was a teenager, I have often thought how much simpler my life would have been if I’d been born a female. Just because I say that does not mean I actually wanted to be woman. I love having a penis way too much to want to be anything but a man. However, as a teenager, my parents expected me to play sports because I was a boy. I hated playing sports. My personality did not mesh with the guys who loved playing sports. I was competitive in academics, but I cared nothing about being competitive in sports. I also was not athletic in the least. I was uncoordinated and sports did not come easily to me. My sister on the other hand loved sports. She was very athletic, or at least tried to be, but she was never expected to play sports. So, I always thought, “Wouldn’t it be easier if I was a girl?”

Furthermore, whether I understood it or not, I found myself more attracted to guys. I always had “crushes” on other guys, even though I always fooled myself by saying I admired their physique or their athletic abilities. I even admired how they seemed more confident, though I now know they were not as confident as they seemed. If I’d been born female, my attraction to men would have never been thought about twice.

As I got older and had to go dress more formally, I hated wearing a tie. Women never have to wear a tie. Also, there are always events where it’s never clear how formal a man should dress. For example, Friday night is New Queers Eve in Burlington. I have been trying to figure out what to wear. If I were a woman, I could always wear a LBD, little black dress. I could wear more formal jewelry and look more formal. However, as a man, it’s not such an easy thing. I thought I had one possible outfit, but decided that I just didn’t like it.

I know that it’s not as simple as I have stated. I know that there are expectations of women that there aren’t of men. I also know that deciding what to wear is not as simple as I made it sound. I’ve known far too many women to actually believe that. I’ve also known a fair amount of women who have thought, Wouldn’t it be easier if I was a boy?” I guess it’s all just a case of “the grass is greener on the other side.”


Post Christmas Post

I hope everyone had a good Christmas. Mine was good. I woke up and made breakfast: scrambled eggs, grits, and biscuits. I opened the gifts my mother sent me after I had breakfast. She sent me two nice sweaters. Thankfully, she didn’t have them monogrammed like she did last year. I watched some television and played some Christmas music before I started making lunch. I cooked an already sliced turkey breast, cornbread dressing, and butter beans. It was a simple meal, but it was all I required. I had ice cream for dessert. I watched one of my favorite holiday movies, Holiday Inn, during the afternoon. It’s a movie of its time, and some scenes are problematic, but I enjoy most of the music. For dinner Christmas night, I took the leftover dressing and the sliced turkey and rolled the dressing in the turkey. I then poured the leftover gravy over the turkey and dressing “rollups.” They were delicious. After dinner, I watched White Christmas, another favorite holiday movie of mine. On Christmas Eve, I’d watched my “must watch” holiday movie, Christmas in Connecticut.

Yesterday, I drove down the West Lebanon, New Hampshire to do a little shopping. I sometimes prefer to go down there because New Hampshire doesn’t have sales taxes. At least it afforded me time to let the ice that covered my car because of the freezing rain on Christmas to melt. I hate freezing rain. It leaves a layer of ice that’s always a pain to get off my car. Plus, everything outside was also covered in ice. After I had lunch and did my shopping, I realized that I had a bit of a headache and it seemed to be getting worse. By the time I got back home, I had a full blown migraine. I spent the rest of the day either sleeping or lying down watching television. Eventually, I just went to bed early.