February 8, 2016

T.G.I.M.

By Joe

  
Yes, that does stand for Thank God It’s Monday. When I was teaching, I dreaded Mondays. I dreaded Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays, and Fridays as well. I’m probably one of the very few who ever say this, but I’m glad for Monday to be here. While I used to look forward to my weekends to be away from the students and school bullshit, I now dread the weekends. They are so lonely. After I moved to Vermont, I rarely see anyone on the weekends. I’d much rather be at work and surrounded by people than be here alone.

Besides the loneliness, Sundays seem to be the hardest because it’s the day of the week that my friend died on and I often can’t stop thinking about it. I used to be happy on Sundays but now I’m just sad all day, but emails and blog comments are what I look for most because they make my day and make it a little better. I miss my friend, and some days, and especially Sundays, are almost unbearable at times. I wish I could just skip the weekend all together. I worked at the museum Saturday, and being away from my apartment really helped but then I dreaded Sunday.

I think that thinking about my friend who passed away more on the weekends when I’m so lonely is why my Sunday posts always mention my friend these days. I can’t help it because it’s all that’s on my mind when I think of Sunday. I know there is nothing I can do about it, but I wish with all my might that I could go back to that day and change what happened.

It doesn’t help that I don’t have a church to go to. I’d planned to go to one of the three churches on the same block that I live on, but I overslept for the Methodist and Episcopal services and I thought the United Church had 11 am services, but it turned out to be at 10 am when the other services were. This may sound strange but while I love church, I don’t like to go when it means going alone.

How fucked up is it that I hate the weekends now. At least it goes to show just how much I love my job and the people I work with on a daily basis.

About Joe

Unknown's avatar
I began my life in the South and for five years lived as a closeted teacher, but am now making a new life for myself as an oral historian in New England. I think my life will work out the way it was always meant to be. That doesn't mean there won't be ups and downs; that's all part of life. It means I just have to be patient. I feel like October 7, 2015 is my new birthday. It's a beginning filled with great hope. It's a second chance to live my life…not anyone else's. My profile picture is "David and Me," 2001 painting by artist Steve Walker. It happens to be one of my favorite modern gay art pieces. View all posts by Joe
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