“Are not five sparrows sold for two copper coins? And not one of them is forgotten before God. But the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Do not fear therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows.”

— Luke 12:6-7

We have probably all experienced periods of low self-esteem. We have insecurities in one form or another, but insecurity is not the same as humility. God’s word calls us to be humble. It calls us to have a humble heart, but humility is not about thinking lowly of ourselves. Whenever we start to view ourselves the way that God does, we start valuing and seeing our worth based on how God determines it. Instead of basing our confidence on how the world determines our worth. God has a purpose for all of us. Jeremiah 29:11says, “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.”

Ephesians 2:10 is one of the verses that tell us what God has planned for us, “For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them.” The Bible tells us that no matter what our plans are. Proverbs 19:21 says “Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.” God’s plan for us, whether it is something we recognize or not, is what guides us through life. It is through those plans that we find purpose, and having a purpose shows how much we are worth in God’s eyes. Trusting God’s plan can be difficult when there is so much unknown, but faith allows us to look past the unknown.

Whenever we spend time studying God’s word, listening to the truth, spending time in prayer, we stop determining our worth the way that the world does, and we start to determine our worth the way God does. Whenever we start to do that, feelings of insecurity or feelings of low self-esteem are going to diminish because you aren’t basing your worth the same way. Worldly self-esteem bases our worth on appearance, possessions, and accomplishments. Whether high or low, this kind of esteem is prideful, focuses on us, and doesn’t add value to our life. It minimizes our potential for growth and influence. On the other hand, self-image based upon the value God has placed on us is Christ-centered and goes far beyond what we can dream or imagine. If we are a believer who wants to be a leader, we must live as someone valued by God.

Isaiah 55:8-9 reminds us to put our complete trust in God because his ways and plans are always better than our own and to trust that everything included in His plan is for a greater good. Isaiah 55:8-9 says “‘For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways My ways,’ says the Lord. ‘For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.’”

If there’s one thing I’ve learned throughout my life, it’s that God’s plans are always greater than my own. Growing up, I wanted to be a lawyer, so I went to college to study history and prepare for law school. However, I worked for a lawyer for several years in college and saw just how much lawyers who fight for the right things struggle. I realized that if I went to law school and racked up a huge debt, I would end up taking a job that would not be morally satisfying. When I did not get into the law school I wanted, I began looking at alternatives. I had always thought that even if I became a lawyer, I’d like to still teach. Eventually, I decided what I really wanted more than anything was to teach. My life took a different direction from the one I had planned.

I went to graduate school planning to get my master’s in history and find a teaching job. That did not work out as planned, and I decided to continue my studies and get my PhD. I wanted to be a college professor, and when I started this blog, I chose “The Closet Professor” as the title to reflect that. However, circumstances were against me, and I ended up teaching high school. Partly because of this, I did not finish my dissertation and therefore never got my PhD. I did not make much money as a teacher, but I was complacent and did not try for anything better, until one day I had to. I found myself with no teaching job. 

I was devastated, but I began to search for a new job. A position at a museum came open in Vermont, and I was perfectly qualified to fill it. After working there for three years, I found out that my job had always been a three-year grant position, and once again, I would be losing my job. However, through a series of fortunate events, my job changed to a teaching position at the museum, and I was also given the rank of assistant professor. Through a series of unfortunate events, I was able to leave my closeted life in conservative Alabama for an out and proud life in the more progressive state of Vermont. Now, I was a professor, and not closeted. The title of my blog is still a little off, but life has many twists and turns and while there were many unfortunate events along the way, I am happy where I am, and I believe this was where God wanted me to be.

I had numerous experiences in my life where the opposite of what I had wanted occurred, but it ended up being better in the long run. I’m sure, similar things have happened to all of us. We think we are on one track but find us on a different one altogether. Sometimes God gives us what we didn’t know we needed. At first, it can be hard to understand the reason why certain things happen to us, both good and bad. But in those moments, remember this: there’s a reason for everything. Ecclesiastes 3:1 says, “To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven. It might not always be our own plans that are being fulfilled; however, God’s plans for us will always be fulfilled. 

I’m a firm believer that everything happens for a reason and that everything we endure is part of God’s plan for us. I know it can be nerve-wracking not knowing why things are happening to us, where we’re headed, or what our future holds, but what I can say is to completely trust that God will guide us and take care of us. As Proverbs 3:5-6 says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths. So, when we are despondent, and we question our self-worth, remember that God give us purpose. He has a plan for us, and we are worth more than we can imagine. Psalm 139:14 says, “I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; marvelous are Your works, and that my soul knows very well.”