Anxiety and depression are bad enough on their own, but stress makes everything feel so much worse. I truly love my job, but lately I dread going to work. My boss has created a hostile workplace. One moment she can seem nice, the next she reveals a total lack of emotional intelligence—no empathy, no compassion, no sympathy. Her passive-aggressive behavior is some of the worst I’ve ever seen. People have warned me before about writing this here, worrying that she might stumble across my blog. Honestly? At this point, I don’t fucking care. If she does, she’ll either delight in knowing she’s making my life miserable or maybe, just maybe, she’ll take a hard look at how she treats her employees.
I won’t go into details about the latest mess, but she’s currently refusing to make even the smallest accommodation for my back and leg pain until she has a note from my doctor—even though I’ve told her over and over that it has to go through HR. I have zero control over how quickly they do their jobs.
And if the back pain and migraines weren’t enough, I’ve now got a sore throat on top of it all. I have to drag myself in today because I’m working from home tomorrow (thank God!) and need to prepare for a class on Monday.
In the meantime, here’s Isabella—curled up, cozy, and oblivious to the world. Sometimes I wish I was a cat, able to just cuddle up with my human and sleep all day. Honestly, I’d even settle for just cuddling with another human right now.
I’ve had some good days and some bad days lately with my back and leg pain. Monday wasn’t too bad, Tuesday was not so good, and yesterday turned out to be a pretty good day. The trouble is, my migraines seem to have struck a bargain with my body—if the back and leg aren’t bothering me, then the migraine will.
I’m about two weeks out from another round of Botox treatment, so the timing of these flare-ups is not entirely surprising. Monday began with a migraine that thankfully lifted by Tuesday, only to come back again yesterday. Yesterday’s was minor (if there is such a thing), but around midnight it flared up again and hasn’t eased this morning.
Still, I’m determined not to call in sick. I have things that need doing, emails to send, and hopefully I can get through them quickly. If the migraine doesn’t ease, today may turn into a half-day. The good news is that I’ll be working from home tomorrow, which should make it easier to take things at a slower pace if I need to. And after that comes a three-day weekend—something I’m definitely looking forward to.
Here’s hoping a little rest, a quieter schedule, and some time away from the grind will bring more good days than bad in the week ahead.
And of course, no week is complete without the Isabella Pic of the Week—Her Majesty all curled up in a soft gray blanket, perfectly demonstrating how to do rest and relaxation the right way.
Some mornings, the words just don’t want to come. Today is one of those mornings. I thought maybe I’d write an art history post, but nothing has clicked yet. Maybe tomorrow inspiration will strike, but today, I’m drawing a blank.
Part of the problem is that work has been so busy lately as I catch up from when I was out. Yesterday was productive—I actually managed to get quite a bit done—but by the time I got home, I was wiped out. It felt like I had run a marathon without leaving my desk. Of course, there’s still plenty more to tackle today. Somehow the pile never gets smaller, it just rearranges itself into new and interesting shapes.
Right now, though, I don’t exactly feel like conquering that pile. I’m sitting here, yawning, wishing energy would magically appear. But I also haven’t had coffee yet, and let’s be honest—without coffee, I’m basically running on fumes. A cup or two might just be the miracle cure. Isabella has already had her breakfast and is now looking far more content and energized than I feel. I swear that cat has better time management than I do. Her daily schedule mostly consists of sleeping, staring out the window at the birds, eating a snack, and then fitting in a few more naps before starting the whole cycle over again.
So here’s to coffee, to productivity (hopefully), and to finding a spark of inspiration when it decides to arrive. Maybe tomorrow I’ll have an art post to share, but for now, I’ll just share the honest truth of a sleepy morning trying to find its rhythm.
Isabella decided I didn’t need to sleep in today. She woke me up way too early, and while that’s nothing unusual, I really wanted to stay asleep a bit longer and avoid the pain radiating down my leg. No such luck.
The good news is I took a vacation day today. The bad news—besides the pain—is that the only reason I took a vacation day is because of car trouble. I can’t get the car into the mechanic until tomorrow, and I don’t dare drive it anywhere else. So here I am, stuck at home, with no transportation except for that one hopeful trip to the shop tomorrow.
Honestly, with the way I feel this morning—leg pain and day two of a migraine—I probably could have taken a sick day. But since HR has managed to screw up some of my leave paperwork, I’m trying to be cautious. Until that gets fixed, I’m afraid my sick leave will get eaten up too quickly.
All I really want is to feel better. I’ve said that for years about my migraines, but at least with them, I’ve learned how to keep going and live my life. This back and leg pain is different. It makes even basic mobility a challenge, and that’s not something I can just push through as easily.
So today’s plan is pretty simple: hope the pain eases a bit, or at least that I can get some more sleep. That’s about all I’ve got in me for now.
I hope your Monday morning is starting off better than mine. Here’s to a smoother week ahead for all of us.
Tomorrow is National Black Cat Appreciation Day, but since tomorrow is Sunday—and I always post a devotional on Sundays—I thought today would be the perfect time to celebrate.
Black cats have long carried unfair superstitions, but in reality they’re elegant, mysterious, and endlessly charming companions. What better way to honor them than with a little appreciation of our own? What better way than to enjoy some lovely men photographed with their sleek black feline friends?
So, in anticipation of tomorrow, here’s your Saturday Moment of Zen: handsome men and beautiful black cats—a combination that feels like good luck to me.
No National Black Cat Appreciation Day post would be complete without a nod to the queen of black cats—Isabella, who reigns supreme. 👑🐾
Queen Isabella in all her glory! Graceful, commanding, and regal.
Watching over her kingdom.
The real mastermind behind The Closet Professor.
A Tribute to the Original Queen
HRH, Queen Victoria (1998–2014)
Those of you who have followed the blog for a while may remember Queen Victoria, my beloved gray tabby Siamese mix who reigned in my life from 1998 to 2014. Though she was not a black cat, she ruled with strength and benevolence, and held my whole heart before Isabella came into my life.
This is a small tribute to the original queen, whose reign set the standard for grace, devotion, and love. In Isabella, I have found the perfect successor—different in color but equally commanding, equally cherished, and equally royal. Together, they remind me that our pets are not only companions, but sovereigns of our hearts and rulers of our homes.
While my bosses refused to let me work from home for an extended period, I did at least get to keep my regular Friday work-from-home day—and I am so glad it’s here. This week has been a trying one, my first back in the office after my medical leave.
The first three days of the week, our parking lot was closed, which left me with two choices: park in a lot up a steep hill or park in one three times farther away but on level ground. On Monday, I tried the hill. Going down that morning was rough; going back up in the afternoon was pure agony. On Tuesday, I chose the level route—only to discover that the extra distance was even worse.
By Wednesday, I’d been told that the museum’s reserved spaces would be available because campus security was going to deal with the cars parked there that didn’t belong to museum patrons. I bet you can guess what I found when I arrived—the same cars, still in those spots. So, back to the hill it was. Going down wasn’t terrible, but going up… well, let’s just say I took my time. Once inside the museum, I had to sit before I could do anything else. By then, I knew what my body would and wouldn’t tolerate, so I paced myself.
Yesterday, the parking situation was finally back to normal. But the workday itself made up for it. A two-hour meeting in uncomfortable plastic chairs is never fun, but it’s worse with a pinched nerve. I switched to a padded chair after the first fifteen minutes, but it wasn’t much better. By the end, I was shifting around like I was sitting on a bed of nails. Lunch in the break room wasn’t an improvement—the wooden chairs are no kinder to my back.
Back at my desk, my chair finally let my leg relax, and I took my midday meds. The relief lasted until I had to get up to let someone into a locked room. That part was fine; what wasn’t fine was running into a talkative professor who’s also president of an arts organization board we both serve on. He asked about my back, and I told him about the pinched nerve. He had a similar problem before a hip replacement fixed it, and he went on to talk about the board meeting tomorrow—which I doubt I’ll make. Eventually, the pain got so bad that I had to stop him mid-story and say, “I have to go sit down.”
In short, I overdid it yesterday, and I’m paying for it today. My leg is in a lot of pain this morning, and I’m hoping my meds kick in soon. At least I can work comfortably today from my own couch.
And now, to send you into the weekend on a happier note—here’s your Isabella Pic of the Week. She’s sleeping peacefully—though she wasn’t quite so peaceful at 1 a.m. last night when she insisted I get up. Turned out her water bowl was low. I filled it, and she let me go back to bed without complaint. She’s lucky she’s cute, and even luckier that she’s the perfect Friday reminder to rest, recharge, and keep a little sweetness close at hand.
Here’s to a weekend with no steep hills, no long walks, no terrible chairs… and maybe just a few cat naps of our own.
International Cat Day is celebrated every year on August 8th—a day set aside to honor our feline friends and raise awareness about the welfare of cats around the world. It was originally created in 2002 by the International Fund for Animal Welfare (IFAW) and is now promoted globally by a number of animal welfare organizations. The day encourages responsible pet ownership, support for shelters and rescue organizations, and, of course, a little extra love and attention for the cats who share our lives.
It’s also the perfect excuse (as if I ever need one) to shine the spotlight on Isabella. She’s been a part of my life since 2016, and in that time, she’s proven herself to be equal parts queen, comedian, and comforter. But during these past few weeks, as I’ve dealt with pain and limited mobility, she’s shown me just how deeply cats can sense when something isn’t right.
Normally, Isabella claims her favorite spot draped across my thigh, but lately, she’s been avoiding that area entirely. Instead, she’s taken to curling up on my chest, purring in a steady rhythm that feels like a balm to both body and spirit. She stays close, often stretched out nearby like a furry little sentinel, watching over me with her calm green eyes. Even when she’s sleeping in another room, she pads in at regular intervals to check on me—almost as if she’s clocking in for her nursing rounds.
Like Queen Alexandra making rounds during wartime or the Queen Mother comforting bomb victims during the Blitz, Isabella has stepped up in my time of need—furry crown and all.
Cats get an unfair reputation for being aloof, but Isabella is proof that they can be as loyal, attentive, and empathetic as any companion animal. On this International Cat Day, I’m grateful not just for her beauty or her quirks, but for the quiet, steady presence that has made these difficult days so much more bearable.
If you’re lucky enough to share your life with a cat, give them an extra scratch, treat, or cuddle today—they’ve probably done more for your well-being than you realize.
I spoke to my doctor last night as he was preparing the paperwork for my leave request. Unfortunately, things aren’t improving as quickly as I’d hoped. I still can’t sit or stand for more than a few minutes at a time, and walking more than a dozen steps makes the pain nearly unbearable. I told him I was aiming to return to work on Monday, thinking I might finally have the right combination of medications to function again. He told me that was overly optimistic. Realistically, he expects I’ll be out at least two more weeks.
Today has already started off rough. I had a hard time falling asleep last night, and Isabella, ever punctual, wanted to be fed at her usual 5:00 a.m. breakfast time. She was somewhat patient and let me sleep until 5:30.
After feeding her and brewing a cup of coffee, I settled in with an episode of Star Trek: Strange New Worlds. That might sound like a decent way to start the day—except I’ve also got a migraine on top of everything else.
At least I can sleep the day away if I want to. And right now, that’s probably the best plan.
Isabella Pic of the Week:
She’s been curling up on a black blanket lately—so well camouflaged that I nearly jump out of my skin every time the blanket moves. It’s her own personal cloaking device. Somewhere, a Romulan engineer is taking notes. 🖖🐾
Ideally, this would be my look today… but since waistbands aggravate my back pain, it’s more like the second pic after the page jump. 😏
It’s been a tough week, and I have to admit I haven’t been able to sit at my desk long enough to pull together the male nude in art post I had planned. Between the limitations of my back and the haze of my current medication, it’s probably for the best—I’m not sure what I might’ve written while loopy on muscle relaxers anyway.
The back spasms seem to be easing up, thankfully, but the pain that shoots down my leg hasn’t let up. Walking remains difficult, and even standing still can feel like a small form of torture. I’ve got to brave the shower this morning—painful as it may be—because I have an errand to run early. After that, I fully intend to do as little as possible. Just rest, relax, and give my body a chance to heal.
Isabella has been mostly patient with me throughout all this. She’s even refrained—mostly—from walking or lying on the lower half of my body, which is a miracle in itself. Twice this week, she let me sleep until 5:00 a.m., and once until 5:30! Every cat I’ve ever had has seemed to sense when something was wrong, mentally or physically, and done their best—within the limits of feline behavior—to make things easier. She’s no exception.
Wishing all of you a restful and restorative weekend. Be kind to yourselves.
After three weeks of worsening right-sided lower back pain and sciatica, I followed up with my doctor yesterday morning. The pain radiates from my lower back through my glute and spirals down my leg to the top of my foot—sometimes feeling like fire in the lower leg. It’s particularly aggravated when I try to walk upright or wear anything that presses against my waist. Getting dressed is an ordeal, and some days I end up in the loosest, softest clothing possible—more accurately draped than worn—while I try to find a semi-comfortable position on the couch.
We also talked about some of the stranger symptoms I’ve been experiencing—odd sensory disturbances, like feeling a blanket over my legs when nothing is there. My physical exam pointed to probable nerve root involvement—likely L5, though L3 or L4 could also be affected. Thankfully, there were no red flags like muscle weakness or foot drop. The steroid I’ve been taking (dexamethasone) hasn’t helped much, though oxycodone gives me a few hours of temporary relief.
My treatment plan now includes continuing the steroid and anti-inflammatories, switching to Flexeril for muscle relaxation, and a higher dose of oxycodone for pain control. I’m staying on gabapentin and Tylenol as well. X-rays of my lumbar spine have been ordered, since the spine specialist won’t see me without them. We also discussed my upcoming liver MRI at UVM, but unfortunately, it can’t be modified to scan my lower back. The liver MRI is a specialized study to measure scarring and uses different protocols than spinal imaging. Plus, the hospital plans to bill for two separate MRIs—not just one. And since most spine MRIs aren’t ordered until symptoms persist beyond six weeks (I’m currently at week three), we’re holding off on that for now.
All of that was already weighing heavily on me when last night brought something new: a zing of pain so sharp it made me jump. I accidentally touched a spot on the top of my foot, and it felt like an electric shock—like the nerve pain was suddenly shooting outward from my body instead of into it. It was a strange, almost surreal sensation. That’s when the lower half of my leg started aching fiercely, from knee to foot. It felt like the pain was caught in a funnel cloud, swirling away and dragging my nerves with it.
I probably overdid it yesterday—between the doctor’s appointment, the pharmacy, and picking up some orders at Walmart and Kohl’s, I was on my feet more than I’ve been in a while. I thought I was pacing myself, but apparently my body had other plans.
Today I’m trying to rest again. It’s hard not to get discouraged, but at least I know I have a treatment plan in motion and a few more pieces of the puzzle. I just hope tonight brings a better kind of stillness.
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Have you ever experienced pain that felt… strange? Not just sharp or dull, but eerie—like your body was telling you something in a language you didn’t understand?