Pic of the Day


Masculinity Ode

Masculinity Ode
By Ally Ang

I used to think my body craved
annihilation. An inevitability,
like the slow asphyxiation
of the earth. Yoked to this body
by beauty, its shallow promises
I was desperate to believe,
too fearful to renounce my allegiance
even with its hand closing
around my throat. When I chose
myself, I chose surrender. God
is the river that remakes me
in its image. I didn’t know what
was waiting on the other side.
I swam through it anyway.

About This Poem

“I contemplated transitioning for many years before I took the leap, but I let fear—of violence and rejection, of how I would be perceived, of my own masculinity and masculinity in general—hold me back. This poem is a celebration of the divine and liberating act of choosing one’s happiness despite that fear.” —Ally Ang

I found the interview Ang did with Heretic Hereafter, “The Intimate, Erotic Love of God” to be very interesting.

About The Poet

Ally Ang is a gaysian poet and editor based in Seattle. They are the author of Let the Moon Wobble, forthcoming from Alice James Books in Fall 2025. 

Ang’s work has been published in Queer Nature: A Poetry Anthology (Autumn House Press 2022), Nepantla: An Anthology Dedicated to Queer Poets of Color (Nightboat Books 2018), The Margins, The Journal, and elsewhere. They are a 2023 National Endowment for the Arts Creative Writing Fellow, a 2023 MacDowell fellow, a 2022 Jack Straw Writers Program Fellow and a 2022 Tin House Summer Workshop participant. 

Ang is an editor with Game Over Books, the author of the chapbook Monstrosity (Damaged Goods Press 2016), and the co-editor of an anthology of Southeast Asian art and writing titled All the Oils: On Friendship, Sex, and Other Warmths (Ginger Bug Press 2021).


Pic of the Day


Monday Thoughts

I’m not looking forward to this week. Work has been emailing me all weekend, and I have largely ignored it. This morning, I have to deal with it. The emails have been about something that I do not find to have so high of a priority that any of this couldn’t wait until today. It’s all for a committee I’m on, and some of the recent decisions made and how the committee chair has acted recently has me angry and apathetic.

Furthermore, on a grander scale, I’m sure you all know that Joe Biden dropped his reelection bid. I find this sad and worrisome news. Yes, Biden had a bad debate night, but I don’t agree with so many Democrats pulling their support from him and calling for him to drop out of the race just months away from the election. They should have either thrown their tantrums before we went through the primary season and allow people to actually choose a candidate, or they should have rallied behind him after the debate. I’m afraid it’s too late. 

Biden has endorsed Harris who has shown a very different personality since she started her presidential election campaign in 2019. She did not and has not since then projected a likable personality. I hope she shows the warm personality that has occasionally come out and also the fight and fervor she showed as a Senator. She can certainly run rings around Trump not only in debates but also in the campaign process. I just hope she chooses a great vice presidential running mate.

The fact is, I’m feeling kind of hopeless at the moment. I’m aggravated at work, and I’m scared for my country’s future. The problem at work will soon be out of my hands, and while I’m sure I’ll still be angry, I can at least move on. As for the United States, I can only pray that we can preserve democracy. Whoever the Democratic nominee is, I will vote for them. At this point it’s all we can do. 

I just hope the Democrats can put aside internal dispute and rally as one united front against whoever is Trump’s opponent. If Democrats get out and vote for the nominee, whoever it is, Trump does not stand a chance of winning. Trump is a candidate for a party that has become an increasingly desperate party hoping to hold onto power through unfair, undemocratic, and often illegal means. They are a minority party, but that’s true only if the Democrats unite and get out and vote!

Time will tell with all of this. I hope everyone has a great week!


Pic of the Day


Our Thoughts

But each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires and enticed. Then, when desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, brings forth death.

—James 1:14-15

I’m going to be honest, I have had some “sinful thoughts” over the past week, especially after an assassination attempt on the former president and the Republican National Convention being held. I admit, I often have unkind thoughts when I think of Republicans. I think we are on the precipice of either retaining democracy or slipping into fascism. It is happening around the world, and so far, countries have chosen democracy. I think you can imagine the kinds of thoughts I had after the events of the last week or so, and I’m talking more than just yelling “Lying son of a bitch” at the TV when a Republican is spouting either insincere compassion or outright lies.

In 1976, Jimmy Carter was running for president, He shocked voters when he admitted during a Playboy magazine interview that he had “looked on a lot of women with lust” and “committed adultery in my heart many times.” Carter narrowly won his White House bid, but he would later say that public outrage over his confession “nearly cost me the election.” Carter probably had in mind Matthew 5:27-28 in which Jesus said, “You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” I think all of us can probably say that every time we look at someone with lust or have unkind thoughts about someone, then we are all in a handbasket on our way to hell. I have never believed that just thinking of committing a sin was an actual sin. I think we know enough about psychology to know that we cannot always control our thoughts.

So, when is it considered a sin if we only think about committing a sin but do not commit the actual sin? Sins can indeed be committed both in our minds and by our actions. Jesus said in Matthew 5:21-22, “You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not murder, and whoever murders will be in danger of the judgment.’ But I say to you that whoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment. And whoever says to his brother, ‘Raca!’[Empty head] shall be in danger of the council. But whoever says, ‘You fool!’ shall be in danger of hell fire.” We can sin in our minds: for example by being angry with someone, but the simple thoughts are not enough to be a sin. I believe that the anger Jesus spoke of is the anger that causes us to treat someone unfairly and to show them our anger, not just having angry thoughts about them. Over the weekend, I certainly had some angry thoughts when I kept getting emails from work demanding that I answer them ASAP, especially when I did not consider the matter something that could not wait until Monday, but I never responded in an email what I was actually thinking because it would have been hurtful to a person that I know is under a great deal of stress. Still, I am not going to work on a weekend if I am not getting paid to do so. In Matthew 5:21-22, Jesus said a person can commit the sin of murder both by action and by becoming angry. For the anger motivates the action. 

God restates this principle in a different way in Matthew 5:27-28 quoted above that Carter used as his reasoning for committing adultery in his heart. It is an illustration most people understand. We see someone and start thinking about that person because we are sexually attracted to them. The Greek word for “looks” in verse 28 is a present participle in the Greek language. That means the person continues thinking sexually or lusting about the person. The message of Jesus is that sin does not occur if we look, are sexually attracted, and continue thinking about the person. That is not a sin. But if we look and obsessively think lustful thoughts about the person to the point of neglecting other things, then we sin in our minds or hearts. That is, a thought or an emotion occurs and if we do not control our thoughts, it results in adultery. That is the message of Jesus. Both passages from Matthew are great illustrations of how sin occurs.

It is not a sin to be quickly angry. It is not a sin to be sexually attracted to someone. It is not a sin to think that a man is handsome or has great character and that he might be a very romantic husband. It is not a sin to be physically attracted to a woman. But if a married man or woman goes further and starts dreaming about having sex, being kissed, or having sex with someone other than his or her spouse to the point when they neglect their spouse, then he or she has sinned. James reveals that sin does not occur when the emotion, thought, or passion first comes. But if those thoughts lead to passive or active responses, then sin occurs when we give in to the emotion, thought, or passion by dwelling on it and allowing it to affect how we handle things in life outside of our thoughts. That is Jesus’ message in Matthew 15:18-19 when He says, “But those things which proceed out of the mouth come from the heart, and they defile a man. For out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, blasphemies.”

So, how should we respond to temptations to sin? God gave Cain the answer in Genesis 4:7. He said, “If you do well, will you not be accepted? And if you do not do well, sin lies at the door. And its desire is for you, but you should rule over it.” That is, sin wants to force us to do what it wants. Sin is a desire that wants us to yield to it. So, what will you do? A person sins by dwelling on something to the point of leading to some action on the thoughts that God has told us to avoid. When we sin on the outside or outwardly, we demonstrate to God, to others, and to ourselves that we have already sinned on the inside. God has asked us to resist the temptation to sin by fleeing from it. We are not supposed to see how close we can come without sinning. Fleeing starts with avoiding thoughts about sin. Second Timothy 2:22 says, “Flee also youthful lusts; but pursue righteousness, faith, love, peace with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart.”

So, while I may have thought about a certain bullet being two inches to the right, I would never actually do anything to encourage someone else or do anything myself to make that happen. That is the difference between thinking a sin and committing a sin. It is the action we take. The only actions I will take are to speak out against the fascist rhetoric in politics, point out the hypocrisy when someone insincerely calls for unity and peace while in the next breath spewing hateful speech, and vote against those people on election day. These are the actions that are just. These are the actions that Jesus calls on us to take. We are to do lawful things and in line with His teachings, no matter what our brains cause us to think. When sinful thoughts reflect back on us because of the way we act, then we have committed that sin, but if we take action to not fall prey to the temptation of our thoughts, then we are not sinning in the eyes of God.


Pic of the Day


Moment of Zen: Lakes (Part I)


Pic of the Day


Taking It Easy

I’m taking a vacation day, ostensibly to recover from my colonoscopy, but I’m feeling fine. I slept much of the day after I got home yesterday. If you’re wondering, the colonoscopy went great. Nothing was found, and I don’t have to have another one for ten years.

I do have a few things to do today besides taking it easy. I plan to do some laundry this morning, and go to the grocery store this afternoon. I also have an appointment at a local art gallery about possibly teaching a class for them. A little extra money never hurt anyone, and it’s a subject I look forward to teaching.

One last thing, since I haven’t posted an Isabella pic this week (and I think I forgot to last week), here you go: