Pic of the Day


Ugh! It’s Monday

I went to bed very early last night. I had a headache and just couldn’t stay awake. Of course, I got up at 4 am because I bet you can guess why. Now, it’s Monday. At least this will be a short work week, just three days. I’m leaving for my retreat on Thursday, and I can’t wait to get away.


Pic of the Day


The Words of the Wise

A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. 

—Proverbs 15:1

Like the old saying, “You can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar,” Proverbs 15:1 tells us that being polite and flattering is more effective than being hostile or demanding. Proverbs 15 consists of thirty-three verses that, in various forms, tell us the difference between a wise man and a foolish man. Proverbs 15:2 says, “The tongue of the wise uses knowledge rightly, but the mouth of fools pours forth foolishness.” Mark Twain said, “It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.” In a way, Twain condensed Proverbs 15 into one sentence. 

Often, people will try to do everything independently, but then they are not using all their available resources. We should listen to criticism or praise and learn from it. Proverbs 15:12 says, “A scoffer does not love one who corrects him, nor will he go to the wise.” If you find yourself with a problem you do not know how to fix, seek the answer from someone who does. Proverbs 15:28 says something similar, “The heart of the righteous studies how to answer, but the mouth of the wicked pours forth evil,” in other words, “Think before you speak.”

When studying history, we are taught to be objective and to look at all the sources before reaching a conclusion. You may go in with preconceived ideas, but you have to be open to finding evidence that disproves your biased assessment. The same lesson is given in Proverbs 15:22, “Without counsel, plans go awry, but in the multitude of counselors they are established.” If you only go on your assumptions, you might find the evidence to back up your claims, but if you look at an issue objectively and study all of the sources, you have a balanced and far more accurate portrayal of an event. 

The other lesson from Proverbs 15 is summed up in Proverbs 15:7, “The lips of the wise disperse knowledge, but the heart of the fool does not do so.” One of the problems with 24-hour news stations is that they follow an old tradition from print newspapers. In the early years of the newly formed United States, the American press grew rapidly during the First Party System (1790s-1810s) when both parties sponsored papers to reach their loyal partisans. Newspapers often told their political affiliation in the paper’s name, such as the Baltimore Republican or the Delta Democrat-Times in Mississippi.

In the same way, news channels have a predetermined perspective they want to portray, and they find the evidence to prove it, even if it skews what was said or written. They no longer spell out what party affiliation they pander to in their name, but we know who’s who anyway. They are often inflexible in their views, and their viewers become the same way. Most of these news channels claim to follow a more balanced version of the truth. They don’t. Proverbs 15:14 warns us, “The heart of him who has understanding seeks knowledge, but the mouth of fools feeds on foolishness.” People watch the different news channels to be told what they want to hear instead of what is happening. Some are better than others at leaning more towards the truth, but all of them are flawed because their goal is to get viewers, and they attract viewers by telling them what they want to hear.

The primary purpose of Proverbs 15 is to tell us to “think before we speak,” “seek counsel from wiser people,” and “take criticism well.” These three things are challenging for some people, especially independent and strong-willed people. We all know that one person with no filter, and they speak before they think. We all know the person who forges ahead, trying to prove they know what they are doing when they need to ask for help. And here is one that I am sometimes bad at, we need to listen and learn from criticism, not get angry when someone tries to tell you something is incorrect or poorly worded. An old saying says, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” Though there is also the Southern version, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, come sit by me.”

All of us are guilty of not following the advice of Proverbs 15. Sometimes we feel the world is moving too fast to stop and think, ask for help, or listen to advice. So, I challenge you today to take life a little slower. Consider how your words affect others, and seek help when needed.


Pic of the Day


Moment of Zen: Smiles


Having a Good Day

“I have learned over the years that the nicest thing I can do is to just say to myself, “Good Morning Darling, I love you; we’re going to have a really great day today.”

― Louise Hay

 “It’s time to start living the life you’ve imagined.”

― Henry James

“I hope everyone that is reading this is having a really good day. And if you are not, just know that in every new minute that passes, you have an opportunity to change that.”

― Gillian Anderson

I am so glad that it’s finally Friday. Even though this was a short week because of the Monday holiday, it felt like a long week. Yesterday, I kept thinking it was Wednesday, not Thursday, and the day before Tuesday, not Wednesday. So, I did not write a quote post yesterday. I’m going to make up for it today with three quotes.

While I have never followed Louis Hay’s advice above, I’m going to try to do that each morning. Thinking positively doesn’t always work because of brain chemistry or bad things that happen during the day. However, I think we should at least start out with a positive thought for the day. I love the quote by Henry James because it reinforces the idea of the power of positive thinking. If we do our best to live the life we imagine for ourselves, then we might just achieve it.

I just have the feeling today is going to be a good day. At least, that is my hope. I’m working from home today, as I do on most Fridays, and that makes for a good start to the day. I’m also excited about next week. Monday through Wednesday are probably not going to be great days. I will be working in the office, but on Thursday, I leave for my weekend retreat. I had originally planned to leave on Friday, but there was an option to add an extra day, so I did. I’m sure I will be nervous. I’ve never spent that much time with just gay men, but I’m looking forward to it. I’ve always been awkward around men, but I’m going to try to change that.

So, to quote Gillian Anderson, “I hope everyone that is reading this is having a really good day. And if you are not, just know that in every new minute that passes, you have an opportunity to change that.”

Mwah! 😘 Kisses ’til Sunday. (Don’t worry, my usual Moment of Zen will still be posted tomorrow along with the usual Pics of the Day.)


Pic of the Day


Pic of the Day


People 🤔

I’ll admit it, I don’t understand a lot of people. One minute they are friendly, and the next, they won’t even talk to you. It’s always a mystery to me when people seemingly get pissed off at me. I ask myself, “What did I do to make them act this way?” Most people consider me a nice guy who’s smart and kind. I’d do anything for my friends. 

They are those who have a dislike of me from the start, usually either because I’m gay or Southern. You’d be amazed at the number of people up north who discriminate against Southerners. Of course, most people just want to hear my accent and have no problem with me being Southern, though sadly a lot of people hear a Southern accent and think you’re dumb. It’s a bad stereotype. Think of really dumb people in movies or television; they more often than not have a southern accent, though usually a really bad one.

Then, there are the people who you thought were your friend, but as Heidi Klum would say on Project Runway, “One day you’re in; the next day you’re out.” I think those are the ones that hurt you the most. There are few things as devastating as when someone you thought was a friend turns their back to you. As gay people, we often have to deal with this when we come out and you find out who your true friends are. 

Of course, there are also the users. They use you for their benefit and take advantage of your kindness only to turn on you when you say no. I had a boyfriend like that once. He liked me for exactly two things: I had a car that could take him places and the sex. I mostly didn’t mind the sex part, but only liking me because I could drive him places was something I did mind.

Finally, there are the true friends. When you need them, they are always there for you. They are always there with an encouraging word or an ear to listen to your problems. They are there when you just need to gossip but want to make sure no one else will hear what you have to say. Friends, true friends, will laugh with you and cry with you. They’ll give you a hug when you most need it, and when you’re upset and think you just want to be left alone, they realize that you really need someone, even if you don’t think you do.

I’m not sure why this all popped in my mind, but it’s probably because of a few things going on in my life right now that have me perplexed.