Certain Phone Calls
My mother called last night. For a variety of reasons, it depresses me to talk to her these days. One of the things she said to me was, “I should have had three children, then maybe I’d have had a normal one.” WTF! She always has something hurtful to say like that. She always has to get a dig in, though she acts like she’s joking, but she never actually says it in a joking tone.
Then, she started in on “that idiot Biden.” I told her I’d voted for Biden because he was a good Christian who went to church every Sunday, while she voted for Trump who never attends church. The problem is that Biden attending church regularly means nothing to her because she doesn’t believe Catholics are real Christians. She’s not the only ignorant Protestant that believes that. She also sees Biden as godless because he’s a Democrat, so she can’t allow herself to believe he’s a Christian and deludes herself that Trump is a good Christian even though I have no idea how that delusion exists.
I reminded her that she’ll vote for anyone and everyone with a (R) behind their name even if they are a rapist or someone who tried to overthrow the government (Trump) or a child molester (Roy Moore) or any number of complete idiots (ex. Tommy Tuberville). Her response was, “Yes, I will. Do you go to church every Sunday?” I said I don’t because I can’t find a church up here that I like, but I study my Bible every Sunday. I would love to tell her that I have people from all over the world of many faiths who read my devotionals every Sunday and often write to me to tell me what an inspiration they find my writing. She would just get mad and not understand. She can barely use the internet, so it would do no good.
She just pisses me off so much! And, she wonders why I don’t call her. I will probably go home at Christmas, but it’s more to see friends of mine than to see my family. I know I’ll be depressed and made to feel like crap while I’m home. The only enjoyment I get from being with my parents these days is doing all of the cooking while I’m home. I can immerse myself into that and disregard the rest, at least for a little while. I don’t think she understands just how much my mental health and physical health (except for the headaches) have improved over the past couple of years that I haven’t been home because of the pandemic.
Death Warmed Over
“Death warmed over” is a phrase my mother used to use. It basically means you feel like crap. I had been advised to get a second booster for the COVID vaccine, so, I made an appointment and on Tuesday, I went to the local CVS and got my shot. The shot itself was a bit deceiving as I never even felt it. I only knew she’d given it to me because she put a bandaid on my arm. By the time. Got to my car, my arm was hurting, but that was all the side effects I had for the rest of the evening. Then, I woke up yesterday morning. I had read that reactions to the second booster would likely be similar to the first booster. Back when I had the first one in October, I had a fever, chills, body aches, and a severe headache. It was made worse by the fact that it can get cold in October in Vermont, and my former landlords had not yet turned on the heat. I felt like I was going to freeze to death. This time, I went through the fever, chills, body aches, and a severe headache during one of the hottest day I have seen in Vermont since I moved up here nearly seven years ago. Mostly, I had to keep the air conditioner and my fans off because I had chills with the fever. I did have to turn on the air conditioner a few times because I felt like the inside of my body was freezing and the outside was just radiating heat. I basically just slept off an on all day. With the headache, I could barely concentrate enough to watch television. Usually these reactions only last for twenty-four hours, so I’m praying to God that I feel better when I wake up this morning.
Hump Day
I try to write something every day. On Sundays, it’s my devotional. On Mondays, it’s whatever comes to mind, if anything. Tuesdays are almost always a poem that I want to share. Wednesdays, Thursdays, and Fridays are again, whatever comes to mind, if anything. On Saturdays, I usually take a break from writing and post my “Moment of Zen,” which is occasionally accompanied by a short explanation, though most are self-explanatory. Each night, I post a Pic of the Day, which is always whatever picture strikes my fancy for that day. I have kept to this schedule for most of the twelve years I’ve posted to this blog. There are days, though, when I just don’t know what to write. Today is one of those days. It’s days like today that I just ramble about different stuff.
I’m just glad that the week is half over. It’s been a hot week, and that’s not likely to change. Vermont has been lucky so far this summer. Most of our days have been in the 60s or 70s F (or about 15-25 C). It’s been pleasant, but like what seems like the rest of the world, our temperature is up this week. We are expecting near 90 degree high temperatures for the five days. I’m ready for it to be back in the mid-70s.
Yesterday, the U.S. House of Representatives voted in favor of the ‘Respect for Marriage Act,’ a major step toward protecting the rights of married couples who could face future threats from discriminatory forces eager to overturn U.S. Supreme Court precedent on the freedom to marry for same-sex couples and interracial couples. Only 47 of the 211 Republican Representatives votes with the Democrats to pass the legislation. It now goes to the Senate, where its prospects are uncertain, as it requires at least 10 Republican votes to defeat a filibuster. So far the same-sex marriage protections have only one GOP backer: Sen. Susan Collins of Maine. The puts GOP senators in a bind, caught between their minority culturally conservative base, which opposes same-sex marriage, and a large majority of the country that wants it to remain legal.
That’s all I have for today.
A Summer Night
A Summer Night
By Elizabeth Drew Stoddard
I feel the breath of the summer night,
Aromatic fire:
The trees, the vines, the flowers are astir
With tender desire.
The white moths flutter about the lamp,
Enamoured with light;
And a thousand creates softly sing
A song to the night!
But I am alone, and how can I sing
Praises to thee?
Come, Night! unveil the beautiful soul
That waiteth for me.
About the Poet
Elizabeth Drew Stoddard was born in Mattapoisett, Massachusetts, in 1823. She published both prose and poetry during her lifetime, including Poems (Houghton, Mifflin and Company, 1895). She died in 1902.
Last Week…
For most of last week, I did not have a major headache. I still had some head pain, but that comes along with having trigeminal neuralgia and chronic migraines. I have an app on my phone called Migraine Buddy that helps me keep up with my migraines. It lets me track the intensity, the location of the pain, any medication I take, and a host of other factors. I did not have a headache significant enough to log in my Migraine Buddy app. This was quite wonderful as it had been about three months since I went a day without a migraine.
I knew Saturday morning that my luck was running out. I saw an aura early Saturday morning. Luckily, no major migraine materialized, though it was like I could feel it knocking and wanting in. Sort of like when Isabella wants me to wake up, so she just barely touches me with one claw out to wake me. She knows it drives me crazy. When I went to bed Saturday night, I thought I’d dodged a bullet and no headache was coming. How wrong I was!
I woke up yesterday morning with an intense migraine covering the whole left side of my head and continued down my neck and shoulder. I also had trigeminal neuralgia pain on the front right side of my face. I got up anyway and fed Isabella and made my own breakfast. I watched some TV, but eventually got up and took a nice long shower hoping that it would help. It didn’t. I decided to go back to bed. The sun was very bright and even with my blinds closed, it was too much light, so I put on my sleep mask. I woke up an hour or so later, and I felt marginally better.
I did some laundry, unloaded the dishwasher, and eventually made lunch. After lunch, I went back to bed for a while. At times throughout the day, I had a break in the storm that was this head pain, but each time it came back, it was stronger than ever. If you think of it like a hurricane, most of the day, I was getting the purer bands. As the storm rotated around, there were intense periods of pain followed my relative calm, though there was still an ominous feeling surrounding my head. By last night, Hurricane Migraine had stalled with my head firmly underneath the northeast quadrant of the hurricane. If you know much about hurricanes, you know that the right front quadrant (northeast corner) is usually the worst and most destructive part of the storm.
I had to take a sick day today. While my migraine might be slightly better, it’s gotten worse since I’ve been awake, and the photosensitivity is worse today. It’s going to be a dark day today. Thankfully, we are expecting rain, and the cloudiness will help control the amount of light I have to deal with.
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