Moment of Zen: Hiking
Vermont has a state wide biking and walking route called the Cross Vermont Trail that is under construction. The idea behind the project is to make a multi-use path the width of Vermont following the Winooski River and Wells River. There are a couple of sections near me, and one in particular that I have been enjoying walking. Considering that public nudity is legal in Vermont, I’d love to come across some of these guys on the path, but so far, I haven’t been that lucky. I’ll keep trying. If nothing else, it’s good exercise and the scenery along the river is beautiful.
Rainy Days
I love the rain, and one of the few things I miss about the South are the great big thunderstorms. Don’t bet me wrong, I do not miss the hurricanes and tornadoes, but I miss a good thunderstorm. It rarely rains very hard in Vermont, and when it does, it’s rare that I hear thunder r see lightning. As much as I love the rain, I have grown to dread it over the past year or so since I’ve had this problem with my trigeminal nerve. Weather changes, especially rain wreak havoc on my migraines. Yesterday was a rainy day in Vermont, and I woke with a headache. I went to work, but as the morning dragged on, my headache just got worse. So, I headed home. I told my student shadow not to come since I would not be there. I had several things I needed to do yesterday, but none of them were going to get done because of my headache. Also, the longer I was at the museum, the worse my headache became.
I went home and went to bed. The new blinds kept the light out nicely. Eventually, I got up and made a simple dinner. I stayed up to watch the first of the televised January 6th hearings. Did anyone else watch it? If so, what did you think? Watching the hearing did not help my headache, so I went to bed as soon as it ended. If I wake up this morning still with a headache, I won’t be going into work. We’ll see.
New Blinds
Finally, the new blinds for my apartment have come in. It’s been six weeks since I ordered them (I had been told 6-8 weeks), but they were delivered to the installers and are being installed this afternoon. I’m pretty excited. I’ve felt like I’ve been on display to all my neighbors without any window treatments. I put up some temporary coverings on the windows, but I’ve left some without anything so Isabella can see outside. I think what I’m most excited for is that I will no longer worry about anyone seeing me if I walk around my apartment naked or lounge on my couch in just my underwear. It’s really all about a little freedom in my apartment. The best part , though, is that these blinds are room-darkening blinds which I was told will block out most of the sunlight when I need darkness. This was an important feature because when I have migraines, I usually get very photosensitive and can’t stand much light around me.
I’m really looking forward to having these blinds installed. I took today off so that I can move the furniture out of the way to make it easier for them to install. Besides, there isn’t much going on at the museum, so I can easily take the time off. Most museums are busiest during the summer months, but because we are a university museum and there are no students on campus in the summer, no one really comes in. However, we are one of the few air conditioned buildings on campus, so once the temperatures get too hot, some people will bring their laptops and work in the museum instead of in their hot, stuffy offices.
And Now Upon My Head the Crown
And Now Upon My Head the Crown
By Phillip B. Williams
1.
In the first place—I wanted him and said so
when I had only meant to say. His eyes
opened beyond open as if such force would unlock me
to the other side where daylight gave reason
for him to redress.
When he put on his shirt,
after I asked him to keep it off, to keep putting off
the night’s usual end, his face changed beneath
the shirt: surprise to grin, to how even the body
of another’s desire can be a cloak behind which
to change one’s power, to find it.
2.
In the first place
he slept, he opened the tight heat of me that had been
the only haven he thought to give a name:
Is-it-mine? Why-you-running? Don’t-run-from-it—as though
through questions doubt would find its way away from me,
as though telling me what to do told me who I was.
About This Poem
“This poem is part of a few ‘failed sonnets’ I’d written and revised out of their intended form. In this revision, I wanted the phrase ‘in the first place’ to move through two possibilities: the first instance and the first location. That there may be other readings is great. As for the title, I guess I was thinking less about success and more about regretting when one gets exactly what one has asked for.”
—Phillip B. Williams
About The Poet
Phillip B. Williams is the author of Mutiny (Penguin, 2021), a 2022 PEN/Voelcker Award for Poetry finalist, and Thief in the Interior (Alice James Books, 2016), winner of the 2017 Kate Tufts Discovery Award and a Lambda Literary Award. He has received a Whiting Award and Ruth Lilly Fellowship from the Poetry Foundation. He currently lives in Philadelphia.
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