I wrote out a post last night asking about what little I did for New Year’s Eve and New Year’s Day. However, it disappeared, and I was in no mood to write it all over again. Basically, my plans for New Year’s Eve fell through, watched football instead, and on New Year’s Day, I cooked my traditional meal of collard greens, black eye peas, ham, and cornbread. There was actually little preparation to be done, which is a good thing because I had a terrific migraine all day. I had written more than just that, but instead of recreating what I’d written before, I’m going to ask the questions I ended that post with. What did you do New Year’s Eve and New Year’s Day? Do you have any New Year’s traditions and do they have any special meaning?
For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.
—Jeremiah 29:11
How many of you have made New Year’s resolutions? The real question is:
How many of you have already blown New Year’s resolutions?
I have read that in America, 25 percent of us blow or discard our resolutions by the end of the first day. Change can be so difficult that even people who want to change will most likely fall back into old patterns and not make change permanent. For this reason, I never make New Year’s resolutions. I have goals I want to work towards to better myself, but I do this all year long and don’t need a special day to do so.
Permanent change can be very difficult because we continue to hang around people who knew us before the change—we maintain old patterns in life that don’t want encourage change. Not many people like change. I know I don’t, but sometimes it’s necessary.
We also tend to compartmentalize ourselves. I think, for a lot of LGBTQ+ people we’ve been taught to keep parts of ourselves separated. And it makes sense because it helps us to survive. It helps us to make it through until we’re ready to come out, to deal with unaffirming family, or to keep ourselves safe when we’re out in public.
We get so used to doing this separation that we don’t even notice it anymore. And yet, at some point this compartmentalism stops serving us. It’s not a healthy way to live. You’re constantly trying to remember how to act in different situations when you should just be yourself.
The new year is here. Look at yourself. Are you the person you want to be? Are you being honest about who you are? If you have compartmentalized your life to the extent that it has become unhealthy, admit that it’s time for a change. I’m not going to say to make resolutions, but I do think we should set goals. Start out slow and integrate all parts of your life into one identity. Be intentional about taking steps towards the coming future. No matter what, refuse to let anything pull you back.
My flight out of Montgomery is supposed to leave around 2:30. If all goes well, I should land in Burlington by 11 pm, which means I probably won’t get home until well after midnight. I have no doubt that I will be exhausted by the time I get home, but I will ge glad to get to see Isabella in the flesh. I have a camera set up so I can check in on her, but she doesn’t know that. I don’t try to speak to her through the camera, even though I could. The last time I tried that, it upset her and me because I could hear her crying trying to find me.
I’m ready to be out of Alabama and back in Vermont. This trip, more than any before has cemented in me that Vermont is home. Alabama no longer is, and I am perfectly fine with that. I’m just ready to be home.
Joe
