There won’t be a poem on the blog today. While I am feeling a bit better this morning, the change in my medication has left me far too drowsy to write a proper post. I’m also still waiting to hear back from my doctors about the latest tests.
Yesterday was an ordeal—just getting around involved far too much walking, and it took a toll on me. Hopefully, I’ll have more energy (and fewer side effects) soon.
Thank you for your patience and kindness.
My sciatica still hasn’t improved much. I’ve found that if I can get into just the right position, stay still, and do a little gentle stretching, I can be somewhat pain-free for a while. But for the most part, walking remains difficult. That said, today has been a little better—just enough to give me some hope.
Yesterday, I had to make a run to CVS, and I was dreading the outing. But surprisingly, sitting in the car turned out to be quite relaxing. I always step out of my car with my left leg, but when I get up from the couch or bed, the pressure usually falls on my right leg—which is where the worst of the pain is. Because I wasn’t putting as much weight on that side, I was able to stand and walk around the store with relatively little discomfort. It seems the key is avoiding any twisting of my torso. I only wish I could replicate the ergonomics of my car seat elsewhere, but my couch is too low and my bed too high to offer the same kind of relief.
Today is going to be a long one. I have to be at the hospital by 7:15 this morning (which means I’ll be walking out the door right as this post goes live) for an MRI of my liver. While I’m there, I’m also scheduled for a lumbar x-ray to take a closer look at what’s happening with my back.
Since I had to fast for the MRI, I’ll be very glad when I can finally drink some water—and even more so when I can get something to eat afterward. Depending on how I’m feeling, I may stop by the grocery store to pick up a few things before heading home.
One thing’s for sure: I’ll be happy to walk back through the door to my apartment when the day is done.
Here’s hoping the rest of the week is gentler, more comfortable, and maybe even a little brighter. Wishing you all a peaceful Monday and a good start to the week.
For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world, and loses his own soul?
— Mark 8:36
In this fraught time in our nation’s life, it is impossible to ignore the unsettling reality: a large portion of American politicians, and many ordinary citizens who call themselves Christians, have thrown their full support behind a man whose words and deeds contradict the teachings of Christ at nearly every turn. They defend cruelty, deceit, and corruption, often excusing it as political necessity. And it is heartbreaking to witness beloved family members — even parents who once taught us values of kindness and humility — swept up in a movement built on pride, division, and hatred.
How can this be? How can those who profess Christ justify following a leader who “calls evil good, and good evil” (Isaiah 5:20), who mocks the poor, exploits fear, and sows hatred for neighbor? Jesus Himself warned us of this kind of moral compromise in Mark 8:36: “For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world, and loses his own soul?”
This is a piercing question for our time. It exposes the heart of the problem: many have chosen political power, wealth, or cultural dominance over the integrity of their own souls. They believe that by aligning themselves with worldly success — even if it requires abandoning truth, compassion, and decency — they will come out on top. But Jesus teaches otherwise: such a bargain leads only to ruin.
The Apostle Paul reminds us plainly in 1 Timothy 6:10, “For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil, for which some have strayed from the faith in their greediness, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows.” While “money” here may mean literal wealth, it also points to the hunger for worldly power and influence. Many today justify their allegiance to a man who elevates himself above others and calls it “winning,” but Jesus warned that “whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted” (Matthew 23:12).
Even more alarming is the distortion of Christianity itself. Some declare that this man is “chosen by God,” despite his public mockery of Christian faith, his encouragement of violence, and his utter disregard for the teachings of Jesus, who preached love, mercy, and peace. Yet Scripture is clear: “God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him” (1 John 4:16). Can one truly abide in Christ while supporting hate, division, cruelty, and lies?
Jesus said plainly: “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know you are my disciples, if you love one another” (John 13:34–35). Not by tribal loyalty. Not by political identity. By love.
When those who claim to follow Christ align themselves with what is unloving, unjust, or cruel, they reveal that they have forgotten His way. In doing so, they risk their very souls — not in the sense of a simple transactional punishment, but because they are being formed in the image of what they worship. If you worship power, you become hardened. If you worship hatred, you grow bitter. If you excuse lies, you become unable to see truth.
Mark 8:36 compels us to ask: What is worth more — temporary worldly gains, or the health and wholeness of the soul? If we win the world but lose compassion, if we gain influence but forfeit integrity, what have we truly won? Nothing. We have traded away what matters most.
In this moment, each of us must choose — not just once, but daily — whether we will abide in the love of Christ or follow the siren call of power and division. “Choose this day whom you will serve” (Joshua 24:15). Will we cling to Christ, who is Love, who is Truth, who is the Prince of Peace? Or will we give ourselves over to what is false and fleeting?
As you consider the words of Jesus — “For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world, and loses his own soul?” — ask yourself: Where in my life am I tempted to trade integrity for comfort, truth for approval, or love for power? Do the leaders and causes I support reflect the heart of Christ — or the ambitions of the world? How can I more fully embody Jesus’ command to love one another, even when it is difficult or unpopular? May we each seek daily to choose love, truth, and the way of Christ, no matter the cost.The soul of the Church in America — and the soul of every individual — is at stake.
Summer has always felt like the perfect season to escape into a good book. Back in grad school, I kept a growing stack of books by my bedside all year long—almost always gay fiction, mostly lighthearted romances or mysteries—waiting patiently for summer break when I wasn’t buried in academic reading. There’s something especially satisfying about choosing what you want to read and getting lost in a story just for fun. So I’m curious—what are you reading this summer? Do you pick lighthearted fiction, or dive into something more serious like history, biography, or true crime?
It’s been a tough week, and I have to admit I haven’t been able to sit at my desk long enough to pull together the male nude in art post I had planned. Between the limitations of my back and the haze of my current medication, it’s probably for the best—I’m not sure what I might’ve written while loopy on muscle relaxers anyway.
The back spasms seem to be easing up, thankfully, but the pain that shoots down my leg hasn’t let up. Walking remains difficult, and even standing still can feel like a small form of torture. I’ve got to brave the shower this morning—painful as it may be—because I have an errand to run early. After that, I fully intend to do as little as possible. Just rest, relax, and give my body a chance to heal.
Isabella has been mostly patient with me throughout all this. She’s even refrained—mostly—from walking or lying on the lower half of my body, which is a miracle in itself. Twice this week, she let me sleep until 5:00 a.m., and once until 5:30! Every cat I’ve ever had has seemed to sense when something was wrong, mentally or physically, and done their best—within the limits of feline behavior—to make things easier. She’s no exception.
Wishing all of you a restful and restorative weekend. Be kind to yourselves.
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