There once was a doctor in Montgomery,
Who performed for JoeBlow a surgery.
And with that beautiful face;
He performed it with grace.
Now JoeBlow is fine, and ready for some buggery.
Thank you guys for your well wishes. I just wanted to post this quick
note to let you guys know that I am recovering fine though I still
have a bit of pain and soreness. Thank God for pain killers.
To Autumn
William Blake (from Poetical Sketches, 1783)
O Autumn, laden with fruit, and stain’d
With the blood of the grape, pass not, but sit
Beneath my shady roof; there thou may’st rest,
And tune thy jolly voice to my fresh pipe,
And all the daughters of the year shall dance!
Sing now the lusty song of fruits and flowers.
“The narrow bud opens her beauties to
The sun, and love runs in her thrilling veins;
Blossoms hang round the brows of Morning, and
Flourish down the bright cheek of modest Eve,
Till clust’ring Summer breaks forth into singing,
And feather’d clouds strew flowers round her head.
“The spirits of the air live in the smells
Of fruit; and Joy, with pinions light, roves round
The gardens, or sits singing in the trees.”
Thus sang the jolly Autumn as he sat,
Then rose, girded himself, and o’er the bleak
Hills fled from our sight; but left his golden load.
I am having a minor surgery today, nothing really to worry about, but just something that my doctor says has to be done. I was supposed to have this surgery back in July, but my insurance company decided that I had a waiting period of one year because it might be a pre-existing condition. The waiting period was passed on September 1, but because of my job, I had to wait until the Thanksgiving holiday to have this surgery done. Because I will be staying with my parents during my recovery this week, I won’t have much access to the internet. Therefore, I spent the weekend setting up posts for this week. If you email me during this week, I probably will not be able to answer until the end of the week. I also won’t be able to respond to comments, though I promise that I will when I get back to my house. See you guys on the flip side.
Chances are that if you are reading this blog, then you are part of the GLBT family and chances are that you have experienced these dark days. Those days when you just want to sit down and cry, or when the only thing that you feel like doing is curling up into a ball and staying in bed. With Thanksgiving this week in America and the Christmas holiday season just around the corner, many of us will be dealing with our families. I love my family, so don’t get me wrong, but for me and many GLBT people dealing with family and the questions about your personal life can be very depressing. I know that I have had these feelings depression and not just at the holiday season and statistics show that most GLBT people experience depression at a greater amount than heterosexual people. Here are a few of those statistics:
* In a study of depression and gay youth, researchers found depression strikes homosexual youth four to five times more severely than other non-gay peers.
* Gay and lesbian youth are 2 to 3 times more likely to attempt suicide than heterosexual young people.
* Several studies suggest that gay men, lesbians and bisexuals appear to have higher rates of some mental disorders compared with heterosexuals, although not to the level of a serious pathology. Discrimination may help fuel these higher rates.
* Higher rates of major depression, generalized anxiety disorder and substance use or dependence in lesbian and gay youth.
* Higher rates of recurrent major depression among gay men.
* Higher rates of anxiety, mood and substance use disorders, and suicidal thoughts among people ages 15 to 54 with same-sex partners.
* Higher use of mental health services in men and women reporting same-sex partners.
Introduction
Everyone gets sad sometimes, and sometimes it feels worse than at other times. Sometimes people feel depressed or sad because something stressful has happened in their lives–like losing a job or the death of a loved one. Even a good thing can make a person feel overwhelmed if it is stressful enough. And sometimes people get depressed for no obvious reason.
Millions of Americans, both gay and straight, transgender and non-transgender, have emotional or psychological problems of some sort during their lives. While we know that homosexuality, bisexuality, and transgender identity are not mental illnesses, the stresses caused by society’s negative messages, condemnation, and violence can sometimes result in depression and other types of emotional difficulties for GLBT persons.
The research on homosexuality is very clear. Homosexuality is neither mental illness nor moral depravity. It is simply the way a minority of our population expresses human love and sexuality. Studies of judgment, stability, reliability, and social and vocational adaptiveness all show that gay men and lesbians function every bit as well as heterosexuals.
— American Psychological Association
What is clinical depression?
Clinical depression is a medical illness that attacks both the mind and the body. It may be far more complex an illness than most people recognize. Depression can cause significant chemical changes to the brain that may make it difficult for many people to overcome it without some time of professional help or treatment.
Depression is not the same as feeling blue or sad–those feelings are a normal part of life. In clinical depression people feel bad for prolonged periods of time–weeks or months. People who are depressed often find it difficult to concentrate. Sometimes they feel like they are on an emotional roller-coaster, sometimes they have trouble getting sad or anxious thoughts out of their minds, and sometimes they just have no energy at all.
Depressed people sometimes have significant weight changes, either up or down. They may have difficulty sleeping, especially in the early morning. Some depressed people sleep more than usual. Sexual interest may decrease.
Untreated, depression can last for months or even years. It may resolve by itself, but it often reoccurs. With treatment, those who suffer from depression often report significant relief within 4-6 weeks.
“Many depressed people feel that they could ‘snap out of it’ if only they could work things out in their head. That’s unrealistic. Depression is an illness. Just as people with AIDS or cancer cannot ‘snap out of’ their illness, people suffering from depression cannot will themselves to recover.”
~ Peter Shalit, MD, PhD
Is clinical depression treatable?
Clinical depression is readily treatable with counseling and medication. Many people suffer needlessly from depression because they don’t seek treatment. They may feel that depression is a personal weakness, or try to cope with their symptoms alone.
If you are feeling depressed, and have been for over a month, you should consider seeking professional help from a gay-positive (or trans-supportive) therapist, doctor, psychiatrist, or other health care provider. There are plenty of mental and other health professionals who will support you and guide you towards being a happy and healthy GLBT person-you deserve nothing less. If you are looking for a gay-supportive counselor, ask friends for referrals or call a local GLBT-friendly mental health agency.
A study performed by the National Institutes of Mental Health showed that after 16 weeks of psychotherapy, 55% of those with mild to moderate depression reported significant improvement. Different people react in different ways to various types of counseling, but cognitive therapy–in which you learn to recognize and replace depressive thinking–can be particularly effective for people experiencing depression.
When there is a chemical component to depression, antidepressant medication can help to correct the chemical imbalance (low levels of brain serotonin and norepinephrine). People with moderate to severe depression are most likely to benefit and improve from the use of medication. Many different types of antidepressants have been developed-if one doesn’t work for you, another one probably will. Some studies have shown that combinations of antidepressant drugs and good psychotherapy may be the best approach.
Depression and suicide
Sometimes people become so depressed that they think about harming or killing themselves. These thoughts and actions can be “passive”–like not wanting to wake up in the morning or wishing to disappear, as well as “active”–like taking pills, cutting oneself or shooting oneself. When suicidal thoughts or acts are present, it’s a good indication that the person may be struggling with a very serious depression.
If you are thinking about hurting yourself or have laid out a suicide plan, please get help immediately. Call a friend, your doctor or your local crisis telephone service. You are not alone and although it may be hard to imagine right now, these feelings will pass and you will be glad you did seek help. If you’re in King County and want to speak with someone right away, call the Crisis Clinic at 206-461-3222 any time of the day or night.
If you have a friend or loved one who is thinking about suicide, talk to them about it openly and help them get some professional help as quickly as possible. Asking about suicide does not make it more likely that a person will harm themselves–often people find it a great relief to finally have someone to talk to.
Tips for handling depression
What do if someone you love is depressed
It can be difficult to be around a friend who is depressed. You may feel helpless and sometimes angry, particularly if the person is irritable and doesn’t respond when you reach out. Keep reminding yourself that the person is ill, and doesn’t mean to be hurtful or unresponsive.
You can’t relieve clinical depression with love alone any more than you can cure heart disease or diabetes with just love. People who are depressed need professional help, and some require medication.
On the other hand, social support improves treatment results in many serious illnesses including depression. Reach out to your depressed friend so that he or she knows that you care. Call. Send affectionate notes. Invite the person to dinner, movies, ball games, parties, and other events. But keep your expectations low. Even if your friend doesn’t respond, you can be sure that he or she appreciates your attempts.
Who is at risk for clinical depression?
Clinical depression is similar to heart disease and cancer in that everyone is potentially at risk for each. If you have a family history of one of these illnesses, your susceptibility increases. This explains why some people develop a clinical depression only after a large, stressful event, while others develop clinical depression seemingly out of the blue.
Young adults (18-25) are more prone to depression than people in midlife-perhaps because of the particular stressors of separating from one’s family and learning to live on one’s own. Elderly people also have higher rates of depression than people in midlife.
People who abuse alcohol may become depressed–and excessive use of alcohol often indicates that a person is “self-medicating” a depression. But alcohol and related drugs like valium and barbiturates are themselves depressants, and just make problems worse.
Depression screening questionnaires
This screen questionnaire is not designed to provide an actual diagnosis of depression. For that, you will need a complete clinical evaluation by a psychiatrist or other health care professional.
If you answered yes to 5 or more of these questions, and you have felt this way everyday for several weeks, there is a good chance you are suffering from depression and should see a psychiatrist, a therapist, or other health care professional.
If you answered yes to question 10, you should seek help immediately, regardless of your answer to any other questions.
Click here for another online depression screening questionaire.
LGBT Mental Health Resources:
• GLBT National Hotline: 1-888-THE-GLNH (843-4564)
• Rainbow Youth Hotline: 1-877-LGBT-YTH (1-877-542-8984)
• LGBT Suicide Prevention Hotline: www.TheTrevorProject.org or 1-800-850-8078
• NAMI: www.nami.org or 1-800-950-NAMI (6264)
• Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays: www.pflag.org
• Rainbow Heights Club: www.rainbowheights.org
• Association of Gay and Lesbian Psychiatrists: (215) 222-2800 www.aglp.org
• GayHealth.com: www.gayhealth.com
• National Foundation for Depressive Illness: www.depression.org
• Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance: (800) 826-3632 or www.dbsalliance.org
• American Foundation for Suicide Prevention: (888) 333-2377 or www.afsp.org
The complexity of homosexual relationships inevitably led to the creation of poetic works immortalizing conflicting sentiments. Ruan Ji (210- 263CE), lover of Xi Kang, was one of the most famous poets to apply his brush to a homosexual theme. This work, one of several dealing with homosexuality from the “Jade Terrace” collection of love poetry, beautifully illustrates the stock imagery on which men of his time could draw in conceptualizing and describing love for another man.
In days of old there were many blossom boys —
An Ling and Long Yang.
Young peach and plum blossoms,
Dazzling with glorious brightness.
Joyful as nine springtimes;
Pliant as if bowed by autumn frost.Roving glances gave rise to beautiful seductions;
Speech and laughter expelled fragrance.
Hand in hand they shared love’s rapture,
Sharing coverlets and bedclothes.
Couples of birds in flight,
Paired wings soaring.
Cinnabar and green pigments record a vow:
“I’ll never forget you for all eternity. ”
Wu Youjian, right, chats with another parent of gay child at a recent event at Shanghai Pride, a month-long celebration of gay culture in China’s largest city.
STORY HIGHLIGHTS
Beijing, China (CNN) — When Wu Youjian’s teenage son told her on a spring night in 1999 that he was gay, Wu did something rarely heard of in China.
“I told him, there’s nothing wrong with liking boys and it’s no big deal,” said the 63-year-old retired magazine editor.
Five years later, when her son discussed his sexuality on local television in the southern metropolis of Guangzhou, Wu made another groundbreaking decision. She became what state media calls the first Chinese parent to go on television in support of her gay child.
Zheng Yuantao, 30, knows how lucky he is to have such a mother.
“Many of my gay friends are afraid of going home during holidays, because their parents would ask about girlfriends and press them to get married,” he said.
“I grew up in a very open-minded family,” he added. “I didn’t have too much of a struggle about my sexuality.”
Wu now devotes her time and energy to speaking up for gay acceptance by family and society. Her small frame belies her big role in China’s gay community, where she is affectionately called “Mama Wu.”
She taught herself to use a computer three years ago and now writes a blog that has clocked more than 2.2 million hits. She also tweets frequently, has launched a hotline and founded the country’s first PFLAG – Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays – group in her hometown. 
“I just followed my instinct and my love for my son,” Wu said.
For other Chinese parents in her situation, however, instinct usually means a deep sense of shame. Many refuse to face the reality and some sever ties with their gay children. Others scheme to break up their children’s relationships. Some may insist on psychiatric treatments, while others may threaten to commit suicide if their children don’t change.
‘Mama Wu’ inspires other Chinese parents of gay children
“In China, we consider carrying on the family line of paramount importance, but we don’t value the happiness of individuals,” said Li Yinhe, a sociologist with the Chinese Academy of Social Sciences.
Societal pressure cooker
Suicide is high among Chinese homosexuals, Li said, with some surveys saying as many as 30 percent of gay youth attempt to take their lives. That trend mirrors the United States, where a spate of suicides by gay adolescents in recent months has shaken the nation.
Most gay men in China still succumb to social pressure and marry women. It once meant heterosexual marriages, often with children, Li said. Now, gay community activists say a small but growing number of young gay men in big cities are tying the knot with lesbians to both placate families and maintain their lifestyles.
Li conducted China’s first comprehensive surveys on gay men. She published her findings in a 1992 book, which Wu credited for shaping her views on homosexuality.
While society at large has loosened up on homosexuality, Li said, family pressure on gay people remains strong because of deep-rooted Confucian ideas and the government’s one-child policy – making Wu’s words and actions all the more powerful.
“No one would listen to an outsider, but she is not – she is a mother whose only son is gay,” Li said. “Others would wonder, if she can handle it so well, why can’t I.”
It’s not all accolades for Wu, however. Vitriolic attacks often dog her online. On a popular video-sharing site, under a clip paying tribute to her achievements, a recent comment accused her of “leading our youth to a place filthier than a brothel” and “hastening the moral death of our already-sick society.”
Wu brushes such verbal assaults aside. Her son, often a target himself along with Wu, understands why.
“It’s not about how many people she can change,” Zheng said. “The important thing is that she is out there helping real people every day.”
Gay venues shut down
Homosexuality is not illegal in China, and in 2001 it was also removed from the country’s list of officially recognized mental disorders. But it remains largely a taboo topic on state-run media.
China mom becomes advocate for gay son
No one would listen to an outsider, but she is not – she is a mother whose only son is gay –Li Yinhe, Chinese Academy of Social Sciences
RELATED TOPICS
Police sometimes shut down gay venues when high profile events are held. Gay rights advocates reported raids on gay clubs, saunas and cruising spots ahead of the Summer Olympics and the annual parliament sessions in Beijing in the past.
Officials have also pulled the plug – often at the last minute – on gay-themed events, including the country’s first gay pageant last January.
Li, the sociologist who also serves as a government adviser, has tried to cement gay rights in Chinese law. She submitted proposals to legalize same-sex marriage in 2003, 2005 and 2006. None have succeeded so far – and she admits her goal probably won’t be realized anytime soon.
“Gays are minorities in society,” she said. “People just don’t think this issue is important enough, compared to national priorities like economic development.”
Wu stresses the social and non-political nature of her activities, highlighting official approval and state media reports in her speeches. Her group also joins the effort in HIV/AIDS prevention, a gay-related cause promoted by the government.
She has picked up pace in spreading the message of acceptance, giving lectures and hosting seminars across the nation.
At a recent PFLAG gathering in Beijing, Wu, sporting a rainbow scarf and speaking in a calm but firm tone, addressed a packed hotel conference room of about 100 people, with her son and his boyfriend in attendance.
Her voice cracked, however, when she mentioned how parental intransigence drove a married young gay man, who had sought her help, to take his life.
“We have to give them hope,” Wu said, quoting iconic gay American politician Harvey Milk.
Wu says she constantly reminds other parents about one basic fact.
“It doesn’t matter if our children are gay or straight – just like it doesn’t matter if they are left-handed or right-handed,” she said. “They are always our children.”
Thousands of blog posts and phone calls later, Wu has compiled her stories in a new book – titled “Love Is the Most Beautiful Rainbow” – and vows to continue her effort.
“I have only one child, but so many call me Mama,” she said.
This article was originally written and published by Steven Jiang, CNN on November 16, 2010 1:36 p.m. EST
Autumn is here and you can certainly feel it. The weather is wonderful here. Highs in the 60s and 70s, with Lows in the 40s at night. I love fall weather. Hopefully, it will continue to get cooler.
To celebrate the Fall Season, here is William Shakespeare’s “Sonnet 73” to get you in the mood for Fall.
Sonnet 73
by William Shakespeare (1609)
That time of year thou mayst in me behold
When yellow leaves, or none, or few, do hang
Upon those boughs which shake against the cold,
Bare ruined choirs, where late the sweet birds sang.
In me thou see’st the twilight of such day
As after sunset fadeth in the west;
Which by and by black night doth take away,
Death’s second self, that seals up all in rest.
In me thou see’st the glowing of such fire,
That on the ashes of his youth doth lie,
As the deathbed whereon it must expire,
Consumed with that which it was nourished by.
This thou perceiv’st, which makes thy love more strong,
To love that well which thou must leave ere long.
Sometimes I feel like Blanche DuBois in Tennessee William’s A Streetcar Named Desire when Blanche is led off to a mental hospital by a matron and a kind-hearted doctor. After a brief struggle followed by the administration of a sedative, Blanche smilingly acquiesces as she devolves into her fantasy life, addressing the doctor with the most famous and poignant line in the play:
‘I have always depended on the kindness of strangers.’
Thank goodness that strangers can be occasionally kind. It is one of the great things about living in the South. We are so often taught to be hospitable that it eventually wears off on most of us and being kind comes as second nature. So commit a random act of kindness today and make someone’s life a little better for just a moment at least.
(Yes, I realize that this message is not in the context of the play in the least, but it is one of my favorite lines in any movie or play.)
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The Closet Professor 