Monthly Archives: December 2011

Silent Night

Thank you for all of your responses to my post “I’d Like to Hear Your Opinion on This.”  I still tend to think that a Christmas play is by its nature not secular, but the particular play that was being put on is called “The Reindeer Rebellion” and is supposed to be a secular production involving Santa’s reindeer going on strike. It happened to include the song “Silent Night.”  An update to the story is that after consulting with their attorney, the school system decided to allow the students to perform the traditional Christmas carol.  I had found this interesting because it was in Alabama, which is my home state.  I also have a particular love for the song “Silent Night,” and I would like to tell you why and how to me, the song embodies the Christmas Spirit.

During World War I, on and around Christmas Day 1914, the sounds of rifles firing and shells exploding faded in a number of places along the Western Front in favor of holiday celebrations in the trenches and gestures of goodwill between enemies. On December 7, 1914, Pope Benedict XV suggested a temporary hiatus of the war for the celebration of Christmas. Though Germany readily agreed, the other powers refused.

Even without a cessation of war for Christmas, family and friends of the soldiers wanted to make their loved ones’ Christmas special. They sent packages filled with letters, warm clothing, food, cigarettes, and medications. Yet what especially made Christmas at the front seem like Christmas were the troves of small Christmas trees.

On Christmas Eve, many German soldiers put up Christmas trees, decorated with candles, on the parapets of their trenches. Hundreds of Christmas trees lighted the German trenches and although British soldiers could see the lights, it took them a few minutes to figure out what they were from. Could this be a trick? British soldiers were ordered not to fire but to watch them closely. Instead of trickery, the British soldiers heard many of the Germans celebrating.  They heard songs that were very familiar being sung in the other trenches:

Stille Nacht, heilige Nacht,
Alles schläft; einsam wacht
Nur das traute hochheilige Paar.
Holder Knabe im lockigen Haar,
Schlaf in himmlischer Ruh!
Schlaf in himmlischer Ruh!

The British responded with the song in their own language:

Silent night, holy night
All is calm all is bright
‘Round yon virgin Mother and Child
Holy infant so tender and mild
Sleep in heavenly peace
Sleep in heavenly peace

Starting on Christmas Eve, many German and British troops sang Christmas carols to each other across the lines, and at certain points the Allied soldiers even heard brass bands joining the Germans in their joyous singing.

At the first light of dawn on Christmas Day, some German soldiers emerged from their trenches and approached the Allied lines across no-man’s-land, calling out “Merry Christmas” in their enemies’ native tongues. At first, the Allied soldiers feared it was a trick, but seeing the Germans unarmed they climbed out of their trenches and shook hands with the enemy soldiers. The men exchanged presents of cigarettes and plum puddings and sang carols and songs. There was even a documented case of soldiers from opposing sides playing a good-natured game of soccer.

Some soldiers used this short-lived ceasefire for a more somber task: the retrieval of the bodies of fellow combatants who had fallen within the no-man’s land between the lines.

The so-called Christmas Truce of 1914 came only five months after the outbreak of war in Europe and was one of the last examples of the outdated notion of chivalry between enemies in warfare. It was never repeated—future attempts at holiday ceasefires were quashed by officers’ threats of disciplinary action—but it served as heartening proof, however brief, that beneath the brutal clash of weapons, the soldiers’ essential humanity endured.

During World War I, the soldiers on the Western Front did not expect to celebrate on the battlefield, but even a world war could not destory the Christmas spirit.

The First World War is one of my favorite topics of study. It is so important for much of the history of the twentieth century, even though it is often overlooked. We, the GLBT community, also owe a great deal to the Great War. The First World War traumatised millions of men and challenged hegemonic conceptions of masculinity. In the post-war era, battles raged between competing socio-political groups over masculinity and the war experience. The homosexual movement posed one of the most significant challenges to pre-war gender norms. The war galvanised homosexuals to challenge social and cultural perceptions of gays as degenerate ‘enemies of the nation’. The movement was fragmented by rivalries and theoretical differences, but the memory of the war served as a central reference point for defining homosexual identity, masculinity and political rights in the Weimar Republic. The First World War was a turning point for Germany’s homosexual movement, as the war provided a central ideal – comradeship – that became a cornerstone for defining homosexual identity and justifying emancipation. An intensely militarised rhetoric permeated the language of gay rights organisations in the 1920s and, despite the differences among those organisations, the war gave homosexuals similar visions of a spiritually and politically liberated gay man who could use his training at the front to fight legal oppression and cultural prejudice.


A Christmas Carol

A Christmas Carol
by George Wither

So now is come our joyful feast,
 Let every man be jolly;
Each room with ivy leaves is dressed,
 And every post with holly.
  Though some churls at our mirth repine,
  Round your foreheads garlands twine,
  Drown sorrow in a cup of wine,
 And let us all be merry.

Now all our neighbors’ chimnies smoke,
 And Christmas blocks are burning;
Their ovens they with baked meats choke,
 And all their spits are turning.
  Without the door let sorrow lie,
  And if for cold it hap to die,
  We’ll bury it in a Christmas pie,
 And evermore be merry.

Now every lad is wondrous trim,
 And no man minds his labor;
Our lasses have provided them
 A bagpipe and a tabor.
  Young men and maids, and girls and boys,
  Give life to one another’s joys;
  And you anon shall by their noise
 Perceive that they are merry.

Rank misers now do sparing shun,
 Their hall of music soundeth;
And dogs thence with whole shoulders run,
 So all things aboundeth.
  The country-folk themselves advance,
  For crowdy-mutton’s come out of France;
  And Jack shall pipe and Jill shall dance,
 And all the town be merry.

Ned Swatch hath fetched his bands from pawn,
 And all his best apparel;
Brisk Nell hath bought a ruff of lawn
 With droppings of the barrel.
  And those that hardly all the year
  Had bread to eat or rags to wear,
  Will have both clothes and dainty fare,
 And all the day be merry.

Now poor men to the justices
 With capons make their errands;
And if they hap to fail of these,
 They plague them with their warrants.
  But now they feed them with good cheer,
  And what they want they take in beer,
  For Christmas comes but once a year,
 And then they shall be merry.

Good farmers in the country nurse
 The poor, that else were undone;
Some landlords spend their money worse,
 On lust and pride at London.
  There the roisters they do play,
  Drab and dice their land away,
  Which may be ours another day;
 And therefore let’s be merry.

The client now his suit forbears,
 The prisoner’s heart is eased;
The debtor drinks away his cares,
 And for the time is pleased.
  Though others’ purses be more fat,
  Why should we pine or grieve at that;
  Hang sorrow, care will kill a cat,
 And therefore let’s be merry.

Hark how the wags abroad do call
 Each other forth to rambling;
Anon you’ll see them in the hall,
 For nuts and apples scrambling;
  Hark how the roofs with laughters sound,
  Anon they’ll think the house goes round;
  For they the cellar’s depths have found,
 And there they will be merry.

The wenches with their wassail-bowls
 About the streets are singing;
The boys are come to catch the owls,
 The wild mare in is bringing.
  Our kitchen boy hath broke his box,
  And to the dealing of the ox
  Our honest neighbors come by flocks,
 And here they will be merry.

Now kings and queens poor sheep-cotes have,
 And mate with everybody;
The honest now may play the knave,
 And wise men play at noddy.
  Some youths will now a mumming go,
  Some others play at rowland-hoe,
  And twenty other gameboys moe;
 Because they will be merry.

Then wherefore in these merry days
 Should we, I pray, be duller?
No, let us sing some roundelays
 To make our mirth the fuller.
  And whilst we thus inspired sing,
  Let all the streets with echoes ring;
  Woods, and hills, and everything
 Bear witness we are merry.

George Wither, (1588–1667), poet and pamphleteer. His satires Abuses Stript and Whipt, published 1613, in spite of the innocuous character of their denunciations of Avarice, Gluttony, and so forth, earned him imprisonment in the Marshalsea. There he wrote five pastorals under the title of The Shepheards Hunting, a continuation of The Shepheard’s Pipe, which he had written in conjunction with William Browne, the ‘Willie’ of these verses. His Fidelia appeared in 1617 and again, with the famous song ‘Shall I, wasting in despair’, in 1619; it was this song, printed by Percy in his Reliques, that was to rescue Wither’s reputation from a century of neglect.


In 1622 appeared Faire-Virtue, the Mistresse of Phil’arete, a long sequence of poems in various verse forms in praise of his semi-allegorical mistress. From this time Wither’s poetry became increasingly religious and satirical in tone, which led to accusations that he was a Puritan, and his portrayal as ‘Chronomastix’ in Jonson’s masque Time Vindicated (1623). He published The Hymnes and Songs of the Church in 1623, a poem on the plague in 1628, a book of Emblems in 1634–5, and Heleluiah in 1641.


I’d Like to Hear Your Opinion on This

Anbetung der Hirten (Adoration of the Shepherds) (c. 1500–10), by Italian painter Giorgio da Castelfranco

I read this article, and thought that the whole thing was a bit ridiculous. I know that not all of my readers will agree with me about this, but I do hope that you will read it.

‘Silent Night’ in school Christmas play could lead to lawsuit
TUSCUMBIA, AL (WAFF) – A Tuscumbia elementary school plans on keeping “Silent Night” a part of their holiday program.
A Washington DC group has threatened legal action if students sing the song.
The non-profit said the song violates federal law and the separation of church and state.
Florence City Schools have had a front row seat to two of these separation of church and state issues.
Earlier this year, Brooks High School came under fire for public prayer at football games.
Now there’s the controversial decision to sing “Silent Night” at G.W. Trenholm Primary School in Tuscumbia.
Florence City Schools Superintendent Dr. Janet Womack said every program her district does is checked by the district’s attorney.
She said the district is always keeping up to date with court decisions.
She also said watching what’s going on in these other districts is a reminder of how important communication needs to be between school employees, administration, and the central office.
“It’s always being willing to ask for guidance instead of stepping into a gray area asking for guidance first so that we don’t create a landmine for ourselves that would take and deter away the attention from what our main focus is,” she said.
WAFF 48 News spoke to the group in Washington DC, and they told us what they plan to do next.
They said this is the only public school they know of where a religious message is being relayed in an elementary school play. And they said that’s why they’ve targeted this school.
They’ve already sent a letter to the Tuscumbia City School Board.
That letter says the school needs to edit the play and get rid of the song “Silent Night.”
The district told us Wednesday they don’t plan on making any edits to the program.
Americans United for the Separation of Church and State said that means they’ll take legal action.
“I hope that cooler heads prevail and people understand that this is a significant constitutional issue and they don’t go along with the idea of continuing the plans to sing this hymn as part of what should be a secular public school event,” said Barry Lynn, executive director of the nonprofit group.

There are several things that I see wrong with what  the group Americans United for the Separation of Church and State are doing.  First of all, let me state that I am a firm believer in the separation of church and state.  I don’t believe that anyone should tell me how to worship.  That being said, Christmas is first and foremost a religious holiday.  It is for the Mass of Christ’s birth, regardless of whether or not it had it origins in pagan rituals or that it become more and more commercial each year.  Also, “Silent Night” is one of the most popular Christmas songs.  It has always been one of my favorites.  Furthermore, Tuscumbia, Alabama, is a small north Alabama town of less than 9,000 people, which is most famous for being the birthplace of Helen Keller.  Why would the Americans United for the Separation of Church and State be worried about a small north Alabama elementary school.  I guess my point is that if they are going to have a Christmas program, which school all over the country have, then why should they not be allowed to sing about the origins of the holiday?  Anyway, I would love to hear your opinion on this, whether you agree with me or not.

I hope that you are all having a wonderful holiday season.


Moment of Zen: Just Waking Up…

This is the first day of my two weeks of freedom for Christmas, and I chose to sleep in as much as I wanted to. What are you up to today?


Your Mental Health: Surviving the Holidays

Your mental health: Surviving the holidays
by Eric Albert, Brandon Browne, Jonathan Mohr
PGN-The Philadelphia Gay News

The holidays can be a stressful time for LGBTQ people and their families, but there are several strategies you can use to help reduce stress and create a happy holiday this year.

Traveling home

Before heading home for the holidays, make a decision about being “out” to each family member. If you are bringing a partner, discuss in advance how you will talk about your relationship and show affection with one another (and plan your sleeping arrangements in advance!). Have alternate plans if the situation becomes difficult at home. If you’re traveling, find out about local LGBT resources. And if you plan to “come out,” have support available, including PFLAG materials and the number of a local PFLAG chapter.

Don’t assume you know how somebody will react to news of your sexual orientation or gender identity — you may be surprised. Realize that your family’s reaction to you may not be because you are LGBTQ; the hectic holiday pace may simply be taking its toll on family members. Remember that “coming out” is a continuous process. Don’t wait for your family’s attitude to change to have a special holiday. Remember that it took you time to come to terms with who you are; now it is your family’s turn. Let your family’s judgments be theirs to work on, as long as they are kind to you. If you are transgender, be gentle with your family’s pronoun “slips.” Let them know you know how difficult it is.

During your visit focus on common interests and reassure family members you are still the same person they’ve always known. If you are partnered, be sensitive to his or her needs as well as your own. Be wary of the possible desire to shock your family — and at the same time, remember that you don’t need your family’s approval. It may help to connect with someone else who is LGBTQ — by phone or in person — who understands what you are going through.

If it’s too difficult to be with your family, create your own holiday gathering with friends and loved ones.

Holiday blues

While we like to think of this season as a time of joy, festive parties, warm family gatherings and optimistic hopes for the new year, sometimes our idealized expectations are not met and we end up feeling anxious, let down, disillusioned, alienated and/or stretched to emotional limits.

— Keep your expectations for the holiday season manageable.

— Remember the holiday season does not supercede reasons for feeling sad or lonely.

— Limit predictable sources of stress: shopping, decorating, traffic, your Aunt Nancy, etc.

— Don’t fall prey to commercial hype.

— Spend time with supportive and caring people.

— Attend holiday community events.

— Engage in volunteer activity.

— Don’t abandon healthful habits.

— Make time to get physical exercise.

Staying sober over the holidays

For some in recovery, the holiday season is a particularly trying time. Financial pressures, family stress and the dramatic increase in social gatherings can tempt even the most resolute individuals. Though everyone has specific strategies that enable them to pursue lifelong sobriety, the following are a few common-sense tips that can help you remain alcohol-free throughout the holiday season:

— Plan for success. Knowing you might be tempted, it’s a good idea to plan ahead, and limit the likelihood that you’ll encounter situations that strain your commitment to sobriety. For example, inviting a dependable friend or a member of your 12-step group to accompany you to a gathering where you know alcohol will be present can provide you with the support you need to stay sober. Consider inviting a dependable friend or a member of your 12-step group to join you at a gathering where you know alcohol will be served, for some added support. You may want to schedule an extra session or two with your therapist or plan to attend more 12-step meetings than you normally do. Also, make sure that you continue to eat healthy and exercise regularly.

— Identify your triggers. If your family members traditionally follow Thanksgiving dinner with a football game and a few beers, consider making alternate post-dinner plans, or enlisting your family’s assistance to get you through those potentially tempting hours. If the stress and arguments that accompany your family’s get-togethers threaten to push you back toward the bottle, you may have to make the difficult — but ultimately healthy — decision to skip these events, or limit your attendance to an hour or two until you have a firmer grip on your sobriety. Don’t put your health at risk by exposing yourself unnecessarily or without proper preparation.

— Create new traditions. If you’ve always welcomed the New Year with a quiet evening at home, highlighted by a champagne toast at midnight, substitute sparkling grape juice and keep everything else the same. But if you’re used to celebrating at a local bar or nightclub, it would probably be wise to find another way to mark the year’s passing, such as hosting an alcohol-free party, attending a concert or some other event that won’t include or revolve around drinking. A great tradition to start this season is writing a letter to at least one person who has touched your life in a particularly meaningful way during the previous year. In addition to giving this person the gift of knowing they have made a positive difference in your life, writing a letter like this will strengthen your connection with an important source of support and remind you how far you have progressed in your recovery.

— Ask for help. When you were mired in the depths of addiction, you may have felt you were alone in your misery. But as you began to walk the path of recovery, you found there were many others who understood what you were going through, and were more than willing to lend whatever support they could to help you regain control over your life. During the holiday season, make an extra effort to connect with the members of your support network.

— Reach out to others. There will likely never be a shortage of people in need of some assistance. People who will be experiencing their first sober holidays, underprivileged youth, hospital patients and residents of homeless shelters are just a few of the many folks who could benefit from your volunteer time, your advice or simply your company. Volunteering to serve others is a fantastic way to take your mind off your own worries and problems, to give back to the community and to remind yourself how rewarding life can be every day that you resist the urge to drink or to use.

In general it’s important to remember that life brings changes: as individual lives change, as families evolve and grow, traditions often need to adapt to the new configurations. Don’t set yourself up for disappointment by comparing this year’s holiday season with the nostalgia of past holidays. Each holiday season is different and can be enjoyed in its own way.

Eric Albert, Brandon Browne and Jonathan Mohr are peer-engagement specialists at Mazzoni Center, the region’s only LGBT-specific health center. For a detailed holiday survival guide and a list of community holiday activities, visit www.mazzonicenter.org and click “resources.” Thanks to Anita Gooding, Jennifer Greenman and Kira Manser for contributions to the article, and to Hugh McBride for providing source material.

Read more: PGN-The Philadelphia Gay News. Phila gay news. philly news – Your mental health Surviving the holidays


:-)

Music has been used as a healing force for centuries. Music therapy goes back to biblical times, when David played the harp to rid King Saul of a bad spirit. As early as 400 B.C., Hippocrates, Greek father of medicine, played music for his mental patients. Aristotle described music as a force that purified the emotions. In the thirteenth century, Arab hospitals contained music-rooms for the benefit of the patients. In the United States, Native American medicine men often employed chants and dances as a method of healing patients. Music therapy as we know it began in the aftermath of World Wars I and II. Musicians would travel to hospitals, particularly in the United Kingdom, and play music for soldiers suffering from war-related emotional and physical trauma.


Compton’s Cafeteria Riot

The Compton’s Cafeteria Riot occurred in August 1966 in the Tenderloin district of San Francisco. This incident was the first recorded transgender riot in United States history, preceding the more famous 1969 Stonewall Riots in New York City by three years.

Compton’s Cafeteria was one of a chain of cafeterias, owned by Gene Compton, in San Francisco from the 1940s to the 1970s. The Compton’s at 101 Taylor Street in the Tenderloin was one of the few places where transgender people could congregate publicly in the city, because they were unwelcome in gay bars at that time. Because cross-dressing was illegal, police could use the presence of transgender people in a bar as a pretext for making a raid and closing the bar down.

Many of the militant hustlers and street queens involved in the riot were members of Vanguard, the first known gay youth organization in the United States, which had been organized earlier that year with the help of radical ministers working with Glide Memorial Church, a center for progressive social activism in the Tenderloin for many years. A lesbian group of street people was also formed called the Street Orphans.

On the first night of the riot, the management of Compton’s called the police when some transgender customers became raucous. When a police officer accustomed to manhandling the Compton’s clientele attempted to arrest one of the transwomen, she threw her coffee in his face. At that point the riot began, dishes and furniture were thrown, and the restaurant’s plate-glass windows were smashed. Police called for reinforcements as the fighting spilled into the street, where a police car had all its windows broken out and a sidewalk newsstand was burned down.

The next night, more transgender people, hustlers, Tenderloin street people, and other members of the LGBT community joined in a picket of the cafeteria, which would not allow transgender people back in. The demonstration ended with the newly installed plate-glass windows being smashed again.

In the aftermath of the riot at Compton’s, a network of transgender social, psychological, and medical support services was established, which culminated in 1968 with the creation of the National Transsexual Counseling Unit, the first such peer-run support and advocacy organization in the world.

Gay History Project


The Lover’s Story

A few weeks ago, I received an email from the poet Christopher Hennessy saying how much he appreciated my poetry posts.  Christopher asked if he could send me a copy of his first book of poetry Love-In-Idleness.  I was absolutely delighted and waited with eager anticipation to read his poetry.  I was not disappointed and found Christopher’s poetry to be quite moving.  The poem “The Lover’s Story” is one of my favorites.

The Lover’s Story
by Christopher Hennessy

Emperor Ai of the Han Dynasty, rather than wake his lover, asleep on his royal gown, cut the sleeve as proof of his devotion.

To trace my name onto his back
was enough to make him want me.
I needed only a push to the ground,
the choke of his panicked kiss.

Sleepily, I circled him, entranced,
then a languorous fall
to his feet to trail my tongue
ankle to waste,

the seduction concealed
under the robes. Blindness,
the perfect muscle of faith.
Imagining ourselves strangers.

After sex, I only pretended to sleep,
nesting in the folds of his robe.
Hidden in the sleeve—a purple sail.
I chewed my lip to keep awake,

fearing I might admit to a trust
in his love or a promise of mine.
Had I heard the rip as his teeth cut
into the robe’s silk, I’d have shouted:

Old Fool, you ruin your gown
for a delicate coward, for the hush
of your mouth on mine.
Or, had we not been so in love,

I could have whispered:
My emperor, make soft noises
as you leave, quick gasps of grief,
so I can hold myself to the dark.


Christopher Hennessy is the author of Outside the Lines: Talking with Contemporary Gay Poets(University of Michigan Press). He earned an MFA from Emerson College and currently is a Ph.D. candidate in English Literature at the University of Massachusetts-Amherst. He was included in Ploughshares’ special “Emerging Writers” edition, and his poetry, interviews, and book reviews have appeared in American Poetry ReviewVerseCimarron ReviewThe Writer’s Chronicle, The Bloomsbury ReviewCourt Green, OCHOCrab Orchard Review, Natural BridgeWisconsin Review, Brooklyn ReviewMemorious, and elsewhere. Hennessy is a longtime associate editor for The Gay & Lesbian Review-Worldwide.

Thank you, Christopher.


Exams, Exams, Exams

It’s the end of the semester and it is time for exams again.  My college exam is tonight, I know my students are dreading it, but it shouldn’t be that bad.  I will be reviewing with my high school kids on Monday and Tuesday for their exams which will be Wednesday through Friday.  Then Friday, I will be off work for two weeks for Christmas and New Year’s.  I can’t wait.

With exams coming up, I thought I would share a list of unintentionally funny exam answers on history exams.  I’ve never gotten these answers before, but I have had a few funny ones.  My all-time favorite that I received was that “There was nothing to do before the Industrial Revolution but hand jobs.”

1. Ancient Egypt was inhabited by mummies and they all wrote in hydraulics.They lived in the Sarah Dessert and traveled by Camelot. The climate of the Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to live elsewhere.
2. The Bible is full of interesting caricatures. In the first book of the Bible,Guinessis, Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. One of their children,Cain, asked, “Am I my brother’s son?”
3. Moses led the Hebrew slaves to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread which is bread made without any ingredients. Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten commandments. He died before he ever reached Canada.
4. Solomom had three hundred wives and seven hundred porcupines.
5. The Greeks were a highly sculptured people, and without them we wouldn’t have history. The Greeks also had myths. A myth is a female moth.
6. Actually, Homer was not written by Homer but by another man of that name.
7. Socrates was a famous Greek teacher who went around giving people advice. They killed him. Socrates died from an overdose of wedlock. After his death, his career suffered a dramatic decline.
8. In the Olympic games, Greeks ran races, jumped, hurled the biscuits, and threw the java.
9. Eventually, the Romans conquered the Greeks. History calls people Romans because they never stayed in one place for very long.
10. Julius Caesar extinguished himself on the battlefields of Gaul. The Ides of March murdered him because they thought he was going to be made king. Dying, he gasped out: “Tee hee, Brutus.”
11. Nero was a cruel tyranny who would torture his subjects by playing the fiddle to them.
12. Joan of Arc was burnt to a steak and was cannonized by Bernard Shaw. Finally Magna Carta provided that no man should be hanged twice for the same offense.
13. In midevil times most people were alliterate. The greatest writer of the futile ages was Chaucer, who wrote many poems and verses and also wrote literature.
14. Another story was William Tell, who shot an arrow through an apple while standing on his son’s head.
15. Queen Elizabeth was the “Virgin Queen.” As a queen she was a success. When she exposed herself before her troops they all shouted “hurrah.”
16. It was an age of great inventions and discoveries. Gutenberg invented removable type and the Bible. Another important invention was the circulation of blood. Sir Walter Raleigh is a historical figure because he invented cigarettes and started smoking. And Sir Francis Drake circumcised the world with a 100 foot clipper.
17. The greatest writer of the Renaissance was William Shakespeare. He was born in the year 1564, supposedly on his birthday. He never made much money and is famous only because of his plays. He wrote tragedies,comedies, and hysterectomies, all in Islamic pentameter. Romeo and Juliet are an example of a heroic couplet. Romeo’s last wish was to be laid by Juliet.
18. Writing at the same time as Shakespeare was Miguel Cervantes. He wrote Donkey Hote. The next great author was John Milton. Milton wrote Paradise Lost. Then his wife died and he wrote Paradise Regained.
19. During the Renaissance America began. Christopher Columbus was a great navigator who discovered America while cursing about the Atlantic. His ships were called the Nina, the Pinta, and the Santa Fe.
20. Later, the Pilgrims crossed the ocean, and this was called Pilgrim’s Progress. The winter of 1620 was a hard one for the settlers. Many people died and many babies were born. Captain John Smith was responsible for all this.
21. One of the causes of the Revolutionary War was the English put tacks in their tea. Also, the colonists would send their parcels through the post without stamps. Finally the colonists won the War and no longer had to pay for taxis. Delegates from the original 13 states formed the Contented Congress. Thomas Jefferson, a Virgin, and Benjamin Franklin were two singers of the Declaration of Independence. Franklin discovered electricity by rubbing two cats backwards and declared, “A horse divided against itself cannot stand.”. Franklin died in 1790 and is still dead.
22. Soon the Constitution of the United States was adopted to secure domestic hostility. Under the constitution the people enjoyed the right to keep bare arms.
23. Abraham Lincoln became America’s greatest Precedent. Lincoln’s mother died in infancy, and he was born in a log cabin which he built with his own hands. Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves by signing the Emasculation Proclamation. On the night of April 14, 1865, Lincoln went to the theater and got shot in his seat by one of the actors in a moving picture show. The believed assinator was John Wilkes Booth, a supposedly insane actor. This ruined Booth’s career.
24. Meanwhile in Europe, the enlightenment was a reasonable time. Voltaire invented electricity and also wrote a book called Candy.
25. Gravity was invented by Issac Walton. It is chiefly noticeable in the autumn when the apples are falling off the trees.
26. Johann Bach wrote a great many musical compositions and had a large number of children. In between he practiced on an old spinster which he kept up in his attic. Bach died from 1750 to the present. Bach was the most famous composer in the world and so was Handel. Handel was half German half Italian and half English. He was very large.
27. Beethoven wrote music even though he was deaf. He was so deaf he wrote loud music. He took long walks in the forest even when everyone was calling for him. Beethoven expired in 1827 and later died for this.
28. The French Revolution was accomplished before it happened and catapulted into Napoleon. Napoleon wanted an heir to inherit his power, but since Josephine was a baroness, she couldn’t have any children.
29. The sun never set on the British Empire because the British Empire is In the East and the sun sets in the West.
30. Queen Victoria was the longest queen. She sat on a thorn for 63 years. She was a moral woman who practiced virtue. Her death was the final event which ended her reign.
31. The nineteenth century was a time of a great many thoughts and inventions. People stopped reproducing by hand and started reproducing by machine. The invention of the steamboat caused a network of river to spring up. Cyrus McCormick invented the McCormick raper, which did the work of a hundred men.
32. Louis Pasteur discovered a cure for rabbis. Charles Darwin was a naturalist who wrote the Organ of the Species. Madman Curie discovered radio. And Karl Marx became one of the Marx brothers.
33. The First World War, caused by the assignation of the Arch-Duck by an anahist, ushered in a new error in the anals of human history.


Hungover

Not me, but I feel the way he looks.

I had a Christmas party to attend last night. Lots of hot rednecks (I live in a rural area remember), but sadly, all are straight. When you live in a rural area, there are always going to be rednecks at a party.  It was a lot of fun, but too much beer, so I feel like crap today.  There is this one guy who is always at these kinds of things, and he is so freaking hot, it is amazing.  His jeans were so tight, that he had to have been poured into them.  Oh, to see that ass naked, LOL, but at as tight as those jeans were, there was not much left to the imagination.

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