Monthly Archives: November 2012

November 10, 2012

Moment of Zen: Adjusting

By Joe

My cat and I are beginning to adjust to our new home.  I’m adjusting just fine, but I was afraid that she would not.  However, she seems to be adjusting very well.  When I have moved her in the past, she normally hides for a week or two, but she has not been hiding since this move.  Maybe after 14 years, she has mellowed out a little.

3 Comments | posted in Moment of Zen

November 9, 2012

Alexander Kargaltsev’s ‘Asylum’

By Joe

“The models’ nakedness is a powerful visual statement imbued with symbolism. They are not nude but naked, for they had courage to shed the many layers of fear and come out to the world uncovered, vulnerable, yet proud.”
That’s how curator Ivan Savvine describes “Asylum,” the poignant new exhibition featuring the work of gay photographer and filmmaker Alexander Kargaltsev, which opens Oct. 26 at 287 Spring Gallery in New York. Kargaltsev’s subjects, all Russian gay men (including several couples) who fled violence and discrimination in their homeland, have all been shot fully nude against iconic New York settings such as the Unisphere in Queens and the “Alice in Wonderland” statue in Central Park, but the end results are more striking than sensual.
“Their naked bodies thus also reveal their experience as refugees, for every person seeking refuge rebuilds his or her life completely ‘naked,’ starting from scratch with no family or friends and often without the language they can speak or understand,” Savvine notes in his introduction to Kargaltsev’s published collection of the photographs.
The Moscow-born Kargaltsev, who moved to the U.S. in 2010 after he won a scholarship to the New York Film Academy, is no stranger to persecution himself. Earlier this year, the now-Brooklyn resident described clashing with Moscow military police during a gay pride rally in the Russian capital to the New York Daily News.
“They left us lying in blood in the street,” he said at the time.
Kargaltsev’s “Asylum” photographs were on display through Sunday, Oct. 28 at New York’s 287 Spring Gallery. 

3 Comments | posted in Photography

November 8, 2012

Our First Election Out of the Closet

By Joe

Tuesday was huge for lesbian and gay Americans — and for any citizen who believes that this country is always moving upward to a more perfect union.
The closest thing we’ve ever had to a national election involving full citizenship for lesbian and gay Americans went off remarkably, though network and cable media barely recognized it beyond anecdotal reports.
For most of history, gay people have been invisible. Gay men and women have hidden our desire in order to protect ourselves from laws and cultures that forbad our basic instincts. It is awesome and confusing to live in a time when society is figuring out how to treat us as something other than criminals or psychotics, and we’re figuring out how to live in the open. 


This presidential election has been just as awesome and confusing. For the first time in history, an American presidential candidate came out about his support of us. Bill Clinton, Hillary Clinton, John Kerry and even Obama in 2008 officially declared that they opposed same-sex marriage. Conventional sentiment was that it was political suicide not to. All of them gave us a wink and a nod, subtle gestures that were supposed to let us know that they were cool but just couldn’t actually come out and say that they accepted us.

And that is what gay people live with, an understanding that we can live but must accept humiliations: others saying things are “gay” when they don’t like them, mocking our voices and constantly reminding us that our sex lives are somewhat preposterous and disgusting. You can live with and love someone, but you have to call her your roommate in front of Grandma. You can have a ceremony, just not in the family home where all your brothers got married. You can register with the state, but we sure as hell aren’t going to call it “marriage.” We can exist, but if we shove our gayness in anyone’s face, we will be punished.

The subtleties of the indignities we face are tied to the subtlety with which we handle them. A thousand times a day, gay people have the chance to deny their difference to fit in with society. Women and racial minorities are physically distinct. They can’t hide their marginalized status. Gays can and do. It is our best defense and our greatest weakness.

Gay people are really bad at getting politically organized, and one of the reasons is that we don’t like shoving our gayness in other people’s faces. Heterosexuals probably think that last sentence is preposterous: Oh! Those parades full of naked men and dykes on bikes! Rainbow flags and HRC stickers! Gay people can’t shut up about being gay! Actually, no. Gays spend most of our lives shutting up about it. It’s just that because our status is relatively invisible, we can only make it visible through some kind of action. Holding hands, speaking up, putting on a sticker — each of these is a little transgression. For gay people, unlike for visible minorities, every fight is a choice.

Every president elected in my lifetime has promised to be president for all Americans, and every president who has done so has for some perceived political necessity turned his back on lesbian and gay citizens when it came time to enact in that pledge.

Until Barack Obama.

We had four debates in October without a single question by any of the journalists or a single statement by any of the candidates on gay rights. Not one question about the Defense of Marriage Act. Nothing about the repeal of Don’t Ask Don’t Tell. Nothing about the myriad of family and health care issues that uniquely affect hundreds of thousands if not millions of lesbian and gay citizens.

Yet, Americans reelected a president who delivered on his promise to let gay citizens serve openly in our military. We reelected a president who during the campaign endorsed the right of lesbian and gay families to have the same legal protections their married neighbors enjoy.

Voters in Wisconsin promoted an open lesbian Congresswoman to be the first ever openly gay member of the United States Senate.

And voters in Maine, Maryland, Minnesota and Washington shut down the strategy bigots have long depended on to halt the growing recognition of equal protection under the law to lesbian and gay families.

In other news:

  • Democrat Margaret Hassan clinched the governorship in New Hampshire, ensuring that marriage equality will be protected. I guess voters decided to “live free.”
  • Hawaii’s anti-gay former governor, Linda Lingle, a Republican, was defeated in her U.S. Senate race by Democratic Rep. Mazie Hirono. Hirono becomes Hawaii’s first woman senator, and she is a supporter of LGBT equality.
  • In Orlando, former Equality Florida staffer Joe Saunders won a victory over Republican Marco Pena, 55 percent to 44 percent.

Most of us went into Election Day hoping for a cloud with a silver lining. Instead, we got a silver cloud with a gold lining, and one of the most significant days in the history of the LGBT movement.

Living and teaching on an intensely conservative community, I spent yesterday trying to convince people that the world will not come to an end.  LGBT  people are not an abomination.  Life will continue, gay men and women will continue to exist (like they always have), and the world might be a little better in the next four years and in the future..IF they will just believe that we need to continue moving “FORWARD!”

This post was adapted from several articles from The Huffington Posts-Gay Voices.

2 Comments | posted in Uncategorized

November 7, 2012

Victory!

By Joe

Four years ago…Hell, even a year ago, I would never have been happy for Obama to win a second term. However, he has largely followed through for LGBT Americans. I hope he will continue to fight for us.  Maryland and Maine have approved gay marriage, Minnesota has defeated a gay marriage ban, and Washington state is still too close to call.  Overall, I think it was a good day for LGBT Americans.

However, Alabama voters failed once again.  The right wing Christian nutcase Roy Moore won Chief Justice of the Alabama Supreme Court (he had been removed from that office once before for violating a federal court order), and the always idiotic Twinkle Cavanaugh defeated the last Democrat to hold statewide office in Alabama to become President of the Public Service Commission.  Also, the people of Alabama defeated a measure to desegregate Alabama school (thankfully, the US Supreme Court did that for us forty years ago.)

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November 6, 2012

America Singing

By Joe

I Hear America Singing
 by Walt Whitman
I hear America singing, the varied carols I hear,
Those of mechanics, each one singing his as it should be blithe and strong,
The carpenter singing his as he measures his plank or beam,
The mason singing his as he makes ready for work, or leaves off work,
The boatman singing what belongs to him in his boat, the deckhand
     singing on the steamboat deck,
The shoemaker singing as he sits on his bench, the hatter singing as he stands,
The wood-cutter’s song, the ploughboy’s on his way in the morning, or
     at noon intermission or at sundown,
The delicious singing of the mother, or of the young wife at work, or of
     the girl sewing or washing,
Each singing what belongs to him or her and to none else,
The day what belongs to the day—at night the party of young fellows,
     robust, friendly,
Singing with open mouths their strong melodious songs.
  
I, Too, Sing America
 by Langston Hughes
I, too, sing America.
I am the darker brother.
They send me to eat in the kitchen
When company comes,
But I laugh,
And eat well,
And grow strong.
Tomorrow,
I’ll be at the table
When company comes.
Nobody’ll dare
Say to me,
“Eat in the kitchen,”
Then.
Besides,
They’ll see how beautiful I am
And be ashamed—
I, too, am America.

VOTE!!!

3 Comments | posted in Uncategorized

November 5, 2012

10 Reasons to Vote

By Joe


1. So you can complain
If you love to complain in order to see changes, voting is for you. 

2. It’s your right

Others died for this privilege and now it’s your right. 

3. Representation

Who’s representing you? Find out and make sure your concerns are their concerns. 

4. It’s your duty

“Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country.” – John F. Kennedy. 

5. More federal money …

for higher education funding, youth programs, the environment, HIV/AIDS or breast cancer research, whatever your cause.

6. To cancel out someone’s vote

In disagreement with your parents or friends on certain issues? Cancel them out.

7. To bust the stereotype

Young adults between the ages of 18 and 25 are said to not care about the issues. Prove them wrong!

8. If you don’t, someone else will

Why would you want someone else deciding what’s best for you?

9. Every vote counts

Remember the 2000 Election controversy?

10. Make some noise!

Your opinions matter. It’s time to be heard.
If you have not voted early, please go vote tomorrow. It is our civic duty, and we cant afford to lose that right because we are too lazy to go vote.

5 Comments | posted in Uncategorized

November 4, 2012

Proverbs and Words

By Joe

If you look through some of the things that the book of Proverbs has to say about wisdom and foolishness, you begin to notice some interesting patterns.
Can you spot the common thread in these passages?

Proverbs 10:19
When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise.


Proverbs 15:28

The heart of the righteous weighs its answers, but the mouth of the wicked gushes evil.


Proverbs 13:3

He who guards his lips guards his life, but he who speaks rashly will come to ruin.


Proverbs 18:7

A fool’s mouth is his undoing, and his lips are a snare to his soul.


Proverbs 17:28

Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent, and discerning if he holds his tongue.


Proverbs 12:23

A prudent man keeps his knowledge to himself, but the heart of fools blurts out folly.


Proverbs 10:14

Wise men store up knowledge, but the mouth of a fool invites ruin.


Proverbs 29:20

Do you see a man who speaks in haste? There is more hope for a fool than for him.
You’ve probably gotten the point by now.  Over and over, the book of Proverbs entreats us to keep our words to a minimum.  Fools, we are told, are the ones who say what’s on their minds; wise people should hold their tongues, guard their lips, and keep silent.

As a guy who likes to talk a lot, I find this particularly hard to swallow!  But it’s actually excellent advice.

When we’re talking, we can’t be listening to others.  When I’m talking to you, what I’m essentially saying is that I believe I have information you need or want.  When I’m listening to you, what I’m saying is that I value what you have to say, and that your ideas are important to me.

Unfortunately, many people get into the habit of spending all their time talking.  We do listen, but mostly so we can get a turn to talk again.  We interrupt one another, and we talk more than we listen.  When people talk more than they listen, the message they send is that they think they have more valuable things to say than the people they’re talking to have.  It’s really quite an arrogant thing to do, isn’t it?

This is especially true in conversations about issues, although it applies to any conversation.  When a debatable issue comes up, whether it’s on a message board or in a face to face conversation, which is your first inclination – to share your own views on the subject, or to learn about other people’s views?
Most of us, right off the bat, want to share our own views.  And yet Proverbs says that a fool “delights in airing his own opinions” (18:2).  A wise individual, according to the passages above, should “store up knowledge” instead.

If you’re someone like me who likes to talk (and believe me, I do, though I can also be a very good listener), consider that it’s actually a tendency of our sinful nature.  Read again over the passages at the top of this page and think about how you might apply them yourself.  This week, make an effort to keep silent and get others talking instead.  Watch how it affects your daily interactions.  Next week we’ll revisit this issue, so try it out and see what happens!

5 Comments | posted in Religion

November 3, 2012

Moment of Zen: Coffee

By Joe
There may be some skipped posts in the next few coming days.  I am in the process of moving to a new house, and I have not been able to set up the Internet yet at the new house.

4 Comments | posted in Uncategorized

November 2, 2012

3 Reasons Life Actually Does Get Better

By Joe

In the last year or so, you’ve no doubt heard “It gets better” used as a motto to encourage gay teens who’ve been the victims of bullying. Well, we all know that life gets hard at times, sometimes for no reason as the graphic above says. So here are five things to always keep on mind.

#3.  The Money Situation Will Improve (Even if it Doesn’t)

I’m not saying you’ll be rich someday. I’m saying it’s really not about money. It’s about freedom.  As a private school teacher who just barely gets by from paycheck to paycheck, it has to be about something more than money.

#2. You Will Find Someone
You have to relax. It turns out some lessons taught by romantic comedies aren’t full of crap. Concentrate on taking care of yourself first, because 90 percent of a relationship’s success is a matter of maturing into the type of person other people want to be around.
If you get more comfortable with yourself, you stop trying so hard, you get more relaxed and don’t feel like you have to work so hard to hide your true self. You don’t stop looking for someone, I don’t mean that; you just stop hating yourself so hard for not finding them. I know it sounds like a Catch-22, but it’s the lack of self-hatred that will make you attractive.

#1. The World isn’t as Bad as You Think

When you’re a kid, your parents shelter you from the worst of what’s really going on in the world. As you get older, your worldview changes and expands. You start to think outside of your own town and social circle. You’ll see a lot of bad news. Violence, government scandals, wars over seemingly petty bullshit. At some point (usually in your college years) you have gotten cynical. And at some later point, hopefully, you lose that cynicism.

Life gets better because you’re going to make it better. Because you’ll have the power and the freedom to make it better.

5 Comments | posted in Uncategorized

November 1, 2012

Día de los Muertos

By Joe

More than 500 years ago, when the Spanish Conquistadors landed in what is now Mexico, they encountered natives practicing a ritual that seemed to mock death.  It was a ritual the indigenous people had been practicing at least 3,000 years. A ritual the Spaniards would try unsuccessfully to eradicate.  A ritual known today as Día de los Muertos, or Day of the Dead.  The ritual is celebrated in Mexico and certain parts of the United States, including the Valley.
Although the ritual has since been merged with Catholic theology, it still maintains the basic principles of the Aztec ritual, such as the use of skulls.  Today, people don wooden skull masks called calacas and dance in honor of their deceased relatives. The wooden skulls are also placed on altars that are dedicated to the dead. Sugar skulls, made with the names of the dead person on the forehead, are eaten by a relative or friend, according to Mary J. Adrade, who has written three books on the ritual.
The Aztecs and other Meso-American civilizations kept skulls as trophies and displayed them during the ritual. The skulls were used to symbolize death and rebirth.  The skulls were used to honor the dead, whom the Aztecs and other Meso-American civilizations believed came back to visit during the monthlong ritual.
Unlike the Spaniards, who viewed death as the end of life, the natives viewed it as the continuation of life. Instead of fearing death, they embraced it. To them, life was a dream and only in death did they become truly awake.
“The pre-Hispanic people honored duality as being dynamic,” said Christina Gonzalez, senior lecturer on Hispanic issues at Arizona State University. “They didn’t separate death from pain, wealth from poverty like they did in Western cultures.”  However, the Spaniards considered the ritual to be sacrilegious. They perceived the indigenous people to be barbaric and pagan.
In their attempts to convert them to Catholicism, the Spaniards tried to kill the ritual.  But like the old Aztec spirits, the ritual refused to die.  To make the ritual more Christian, the Spaniards moved it so it coincided with All Saints’ Day and All Souls’ Day (Nov. 1 and 2), which is when it is celebrated today.  Previously it fell on the ninth month of the Aztec Solar Calendar, approximately the beginning of August, and was celebrated for the entire month. Festivities were presided over by the goddess Mictecacihuatl. The goddess, known as “Lady of the Dead,” was believed to have died at birth, Andrade said.
Today, Day of the Dead is celebrated in Mexico and in certain parts of the United States and Central America.  “It’s celebrated different depending on where you go,” Gonzalez said.
In rural Mexico, people visit the cemetery where their loved ones are buried. They decorate gravesites with marigold flowers and candles. They bring toys for dead children and bottles of tequila to adults. They sit on picnic blankets next to gravesites and eat the favorite food of their loved ones.
In Guadalupe, the ritual is celebrated much like it is in rural Mexico.  “Here the people spend the day in the cemetery,” said Esther Cota, the parish secretary at the Our Lady of Guadalupe Church. “The graves are decorated real pretty by the people.”
In the United States and in Mexico’s larger cities, families build altars in their homes, dedicating them to the dead. They surround these altars with flowers, food and pictures of the deceased. They light candles and place them next to the altar.

Sent from my iPad

3 Comments | posted in Uncategorized