Monthly Archives: March 2013

Adventures in Gay

About a month ago, a newly out 25-year-old animator in NYC — “just a regular guy who happens to like other guys” — began “chronicling his adventures into the world of gay” on his Adventures in Gay Tumblr through comics.
I chose the above cartoons because I think we have probably all had these three conversations in the past, sometimes with a single person or with numerous people.  I read through all of them and if you are interested in starting from the beginning, you can follow this link which will take you to the first commons and then you can read them backwards: http://adventuresingay.tumblr.com/page/5.


The Voice

As gay men, I think it is that “voice” that told us one day, “You are gay!”  Though we may not have believed the voice at first, we have come to know that it speaks the truth. Remembers “just listen to the voice that speaks inside.”

Shel Silverstein

Shel Silverstein was born on September 25, 1930 in Chicago, Illinois and began writing and drawing at a young age. He became a cartoonist, playwright, poet, performer, recording artist, and Grammy-winning, Oscar-nominated songwriter.

Silverstein is best known as the author of iconic books of prose and poetry for young readers. His works include such modern classics as Lafcadio: The Lion Who Shot Back (1963), The Giving Tree (1964), A Giraffe and a Half (1964), The Missing Piece (1976), and The Missing Piece Meets the Big O (1981). His immensely popular poetry collections are Where the Sidewalk Ends, a 1974 Michigan Young Readers Award winner; A Light in the Attic, recipient of the School Library Journal Best Books Award in 1982; Falling Up (1996); and Don’t Bump the Glump! And Other Fantasies, which was originally published in 1963 and reissued in 2008. Runny Babbit, a posthumous poetry collection of spoonerisms, was conceived and completed before his death.

Silverstein’s books, which he also illustrated, are characterized by a deft mixing of the sly and the serious, the macabre, and the just plain silly. His unique imagination and bold brand of humor is beloved by countless adults and children throughout the world. He died in May 1999.


Oz the Great and Powerful

You may or may not know this, but I am a big fan of The Wizard of Oz.  When I teach American history, I use the original book and 1939 film to teach about Populism.  It is one of my favorite movies and I never grow tired of watching it.
I was very excited when I heard that Disney, who had acquired the rights to the sequels to L. Frank Baum’s The Wonderful Wizard of Oz in 1954, was making a sequel to the 1939 film.  The new movie, Oz the Great and Powerful, was released on Friday, and I went to the movies on Saturday with some friends to watch Oz the Great and Powerful.

I had some apprehensions about how good it would be.  Would it be true to the books? To the 1939 film? Would it be completely different? As the movie began and the film credits started, I no longer had any worries.  From the first moment to the last, I enjoyed the film.  It was truly a spectacular visual journey to the Land of Oz. from the review I read, the 3D version is even more spectacular.  I happened to have seen it in 2D.

A few critics have found many flaws to the movie, and I do think the CGI effects were a little much.  The original was so wonderful without the use of CGI, but I guess that many modern audiences would find a movie sans CGI a bit boring.  I would not.  However, the CGI was quite beautiful. I have to agree with Moviefone’s reviewer Eric Larnick who wrote:

In spite of the impressive candy-colored landscapes seen in wide shots, too many scenes take place in front of green screens, which makes the production somehow feel hollow and artificial. This is a dramatic difference from the iconic 1939 Judy Garland film, which still boasts one of the most awe-inspiring and lavish set productions ever.  

Mashable.com was one of the reviews that heavily criticized the movie.  Most of their criticism, however, comes from little understanding of the Oz mythology.  Chris Taylor of Mashable wrote:

‘The Wizard of Oz’ was explicitly supposed to be Dorothy’s dream, which explained why the same actors were used in both the black-and-white and color sequences. ‘Oz the Great and Powerful’ is explicitly not a dream; we’re supposed to accept Oz as real. Yet a few actors, or their voices, are still reused, and Diggs doesn’t appear to notice.

In the books, Dorothy’s journey to Oz was most certainly not a dream, so why should Oz the Great and Powerful also been a dream.  Mr. Taylor seems to be confusing Dorothy with Alice, as Wonderland was a dream.  Furthermore, Franco’s Oz does seem to notice that some of the actors are present in both, though it may not have been explicit enough for Mr. Taylor.

Overall, I loved the movie.  If you are the type to go to the movies, I urge you to see it. It was so much fun, even more so if you are a fan of the 1939 film and are knowledgeable about Oz mythology. Have any of you seen it yet? What did you think?  If you have not seen it, will you be going to see it?

Via, Veritas, Vita: A Reprise

Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.  —John 14:6 

I received a comment the other day on an older post of mine that made me think.  The post in question is in my series about the Churches of Christ and homosexuality.  From the title of this post, you may have guessed that it was a post titled “Via, Veritas, Vita.”

The comment that started me thinking was in response to another comment from an anonymous reader.  The original comment stated:
Joe — I also just stumbled across the articles, and although I haven’t had a chance yet to read all of them, I plan to.

My father was a Church of Christ minister who had six kids. Of the four boys, one died at 13, and the rest are all gay. I struggled for years…married, had kids, etc. After I got divorced, I was finally able to live my life freely, but once I came out, I was lovingly escorted out of the church. There were other people at that congregation — “liberal” by CofC standards — who everyone knew were gay, but the rule was as long as it wasn’t official, they were welcome. 


Ultimately, and somewhat ironically having spent decades drawing a distinction between the two groups, I joined the United Church of Christ. It still breaks my heart that I have been rejected by the church in which I spent 40 years, and I still have a lot of affection for the Church of Christ. My husband mentioned the other day that I seem to know where the local Church of Christ in every neighborhood in Southern California, and that wherever we travel, when we pass a Church of Christ I always point it out. 


God bless you, in a very literal sense, for what you are trying to do. It’s very brave, and very important. If the Church of Christ came around on this issue, would I go back? In a heartbeat. But the more of us who leave, the less likely that is to happen….
The anonymous reply from another reader stated:

Come back to the Church. Let go of the strange life. You can love other men, you just can’t have sex with them. Christ loved many men, but never lusted after them. John laid on His breast,Paul told the men to greet one another with a heavenly kiss (in the middle east it’s still often practiced), so you can even kiss a man in Amish churches and churches that are liberal Amish. Just let go of the lust, you aren’t 21 ya know. Let go.

Let me first say that, while I would love to see the writer of the first comment come back to the Church of Christ, I don’t believe that he had strayed from the Church in what I believe is the church of the truly faithful, i.e. those who have faith believe in God’s eternal love.  For me, that is the Church of Christ, for others it may be another church/denomination.  The truth is, I believe that our relationship with God is personal and our heart and the Holy Spirit that resides inside guides us to our relationship with God.
I also do not believe that the second anonymous commenter was speaking only (if at all) of the Churches of Christ.  When I first read it in my email, I did not realize it was left as a reply to another comment.  I thought he was speaking to me particularly.  The thing is, neither my first commenter or I have ever left the Church.  From the comment above, I know in my heart that the original commenter still believes in Christ as his Lord and Savior, as I do.  My faith in God has never wavered.  I may have questioned myself, but never God.
As for the comment about  “Christ loved many men, but never lusted after them,” I do not believe that lust is a sin.  Lust is a natural human feeling, whether homosexual lust for someone of the same sex or heterosexual lust for someone of the opposite sex.  We have always had lust.  It is when we act on that lust that can be a problem.  I have been celebrate for a number of years, not particularly by choice, but I have still been celibate.  It does not mean that I have not been weak of the flesh in the past, but my years of celibacy has made me yearn for love over lust.  Whether or not sexual intercourse is involved, lust and love are separate feelings.  

Love is God, and God is love.  One day I hope to also find love in another man, though it will never lessen my love for God, because nothing ever could.  However, my love of God will strengthen my love of man, because we are his creation, and we should be grateful for all that God has created for us.

Moment of Zen: Coffee


Lost in Thought

Lost in a thought
So long since he
Felt his touch
His fingers tracing
His curves
His lips imprinting
On his neck
His teeth gently
Nipping at his skin
He awaits his return
Waiting to have his
Heart made whole again

From HomoEroticus (NSFW)


White T-Shirt

I won’t be at school today.  Instead I will be attending the funeral of a cousin of mine.  For many years now, she has battled cancer, but the cancer finally took her life this week.  She will be missed by all who have ever known her.  She was a good woman.
I had planned on using this poem for Tuesday’s poetry post, but when I read the description about the poem, I decided to use it today.  The poem is called “White T-Shirt” and is by Lewis Ellingham.  The poem ‘White T-shirt’ records a San Francisco bus trip returning homeward from a cancer radiation treatment session at U. C. Hospital (Mt. Zion) mid-December 2012. He’d been writing poems ‘about objects’ for a month or so. The setting collected and intensified as he sat on the bus, and he wrote the poem immediately upon arriving home.
Sometimes we just need a snapshot (visual, verbal, or written) to bring back so many memories…
White T-shirt
  by Lewis Ellingham
                                        I caught sight of it at a bus stop:
a white T-shirt, though
                                                     it was partly covered by
     the turning form of a lanky youth massed
                with other human forms intent upon
          boarding the bus on which
                                I was riding, tucked in a corner seat on
                the last row of seats on the bus, the right side, sheltered,
        watching the surge as it entered the double rear doors that
                        soon welcomed as a bottleneck the half dozen
     new passengers — tall, he walked back along the aisle until he stood
                                maybe a dozen feet from me, holding a rail
      with one hand (the right), the other arm dangling, his hips relaxed,
every color — hair, eyebrows, lashes, half-day beard shadow,
        heavy cotton pants, a
jacket dangling from the dangling left arm — black except for his
      white T-shirt, unornamented, the folds from his twist
           as he stood, deep drapery folds, the cotton heavier than ordinary
     for such a garment, the trim at waist and short sleeves the same material rolled,
      eye-catching for its clean bright whiteness, hinting at his beauty, and
                        beautiful in its self:                a white T-shirt, an
        object, he
                                would move slightly, the creases deepen
    as the twist deepened
                             slightly —
                                        at Castro, Market and 17th streets
        he got off, many did, many boarded, his eyes, a light brown, met mine through
                the bus window for a moment, the T-shirt at his neck white,
                                an object still
Born February 27th, 1933, in Fort Wayne, Indiana, Ellingham was educated in Catholic schools because his mother, who died when he was two years old, was Catholic. His father, a newspaper executive and Democratic Party leader, was not, and remarried when he was a teenager. By age 21 he had migrated to San Francisco, having tasted bohemian life in Chicago and New York, a lifestyle dictated by an early understanding that he was gay, wanted to be a writer, and was without mainstream social or economic ambitions. He settled in North Beach, in a world centered in bars, odd jobs and the group of poets and painters dominated by Jack Spicer. For him it would remain the same cultural world, the leading influences eventually being Bob Glück’s writing classes and his efforts as a Spicer biographer, culminating in prose in a book co-authored with Kevin Killian, Poet Be Like God: Jack Spicer and the San Francisco Renaissance [1995]. The Birds and Other Poems was published in 2009; new writing continues, now online at The Ellingham Digest.


Beads for Life

This weekend, I had the pleasure of attending the Azalea Storytelling Festival in LaGrange, Georgia. Returning to the festival this year was master storyteller and perennial favorite, Donald Davis. Also performing were the popular storytellers Carmen Deedy, Eric Litwin, Connie Regan-Blake and Ed Stivender. This group of celebrated storytellers, musicians and recording artists brought their unique voices and stories to the campus of LaGrange College and the excellent performance venue of Callaway Auditorium. Carol Cain, a well known teller in her right, acted as master of ceremonies. Since 1997 the Azalea Storytelling Festival has brought nationally and regionally acclaimed storytellers to LaGrange, Georgia. Folks from near and far gather in Callaway Auditorium to hear stories — stories so good that they seep into the walls and make the building feel better. Laughter proved to be a key ingredient of these remarkable performances. Under the guidance of the Lafayette Society for Performing Arts, the festival was a wonderful experience.

One of the storyteller was Connie Regan-Blake who was invited to visit Uganda by “Bead For Life”(www.beadforlife.org), an NGO helping women lift themselves out of extreme poverty. Many of them are displaced refugees from the horrors and atrocities of civil war in northern Uganda and are dealing with the ravages of AIDS. Connie was welcomed into their homes and hearts as if she was family and she listened to their profound and transformative stories. The video below is Namakasa Rose’s story.


These beads are quite beautiful and i encourage you to find out more about them.  To learn more about Connie, go to: www.StoryWindow.com.

The story of how BeadsforLife began:

BeadforLife began with a chance encounter between women. Our co-founders Torkin Wakefield, Ginny Jordan, and Devin Hibbard met Millie Grace Akena while walking through a crowded Ugandan slum. They were on their way to visit a sick woman when they saw Millie sitting on the ground outside of her mud home; she was rolling small strips of paper into colorful beads in the sweltering sun. Intrigued, they stopped to talk to her. 

Less than a dollar a day. They soon learned that Millie was originally from Northern Uganda, but had been driven from her home by Joseph Kony and the Lord’s Resistance Army (LRA). To protect her children from being kidnapped as soldiers, Millie fled to the Kampala slum. To support her family, she worked in a rock quarry crushing stones into pebbles with a hand mallet. In order to earn enough for one meal a day, her children often had to work alongside her in the hot, dusty quarry. For their efforts, the family earned less than a dollar a day. Millie said she loved to roll beads out of recycled paper, and proudly showed Torkin, Ginny and Devin a bag full of her unique hand-made necklaces. She also shared that she had no market for her jewelry.

Paper beads bring hope. Our co-founders admired Millie and bought a few of her necklaces, wearing them around Kampala in support of her handiwork. Immediately, others began to notice the distinct jewelry and asked where they had been purchased. Believing there was a market for the paper jewelry, they returned to Millie’s slum. With her help, they met with a hundred more women who knew how to make paper beads, purchasing a few necklaces from each. At this time, they had no way of knowing that their lives, and the lives of so many impoverished Ugandans, were about to change.

Birth of the bead party. Once back in the US, our co-founders shared their experiences with others. Through word of mouth, women across North America began to purchase the beads and were captivated by the stories of resilient Ugandan women lifting their families out of extreme poverty. As suspected, there was a market for the hope-filled, hand-rolled beads and their inspirational creators after all! In September 2004, BeadforLife was officially born. At the time, our dream was to provide opportunities for a few dozen women from Millie’s slum. Today, we provided opportunities for thousands. To see how our dream has grown, visit Our Work in Uganda.


The Cole Porter Songbook

Music is best when it is also beautiful poetry.  Nobody does that better, or more witty than Cole Porter.  I was trying to decide a song to use as a poem today, but I couldn’t pick just one.  So here are my favorites:
Let’s Do It, Let’s Fall in Loveis a popular song written in 1928 by Cole Porter. It was introduced in Porter’s first Broadway success, the musicalParis (1928) by French chanteuse Irène Bordoni for whom Porter had written the musical as a starring vehicle.
The first of Porter’s famous “list songs“, it features a string of suggestive and droll comparisons and examples, preposterous pairings and double-entendres, dropping famous names and events, drawing unexpectedly from highbrow and popular culture. Porter was a strong admirer of the Savoy Operas of Gilbert & Sullivan, many of whose stage works featured similar comic list songs.

The first refrain covers human ethnic groups, the second refrain birds, the third refrain marine life, the fourth refrain insects (plus centipedes) and the fifth refrain non-human mammals.

When the little bluebird 
Who has never said a word 

Starts to sing Spring

When the little bluebell 

At the bottom of the dell 

Starts to ring Ding dong Ding dong 

When the little blue clerk 

In the middle of his work 

Starts a tune to the moon up above 

It is nature that is all 

Simply telling us to fall in love 

And that’s why birds do it, bees do it 

Even educated fleas do it 

Let’s do it, let’s fall in love 

Cold Cape Cod clams, ‘gainst their wish, do it 

Even lazy jellyfish do it 

Let’s do it, let’s fall in love 

I’ve heard that lizards and frogs do it 

Layin’ on a rock 

They say that roosters do it 

With a doodle and cock 

Some Argentines, without means do it 

I hear even Boston beans do it 

Let’s do it, let’s fall in love 

When the little bluebird 

Who has never said a word 

starts to sing Spring spring spring 

When the little bluebell 

At the bottom of the dell 

Starts to ring Ding ding ding 

When the little blue clerk 

In the middle of his work 

Starts a tune 

The most refined lady bugs do it 

When a gentleman calls 

Moths in your rugs they do it 

What’s the use of moth balls 

The chimpanzees in the zoos do it, 

Some courageous kangaroos do it 

Let’s do it, let’s fall in love 

I’m sure sometimes on the sly you do it 

Maybe even you and I might do it 

Let’s do it, let’s fall in love 
Night and Day” is a popular song by Cole Porter. It was written for the 1932 musical play Gay Divorce. It is perhaps Porter’s most popular contribution to the Great American Songbook and has been recorded by dozens of artists.
Fred Astaire introduced “Night and Day” on stage, and his recording of the song was a #1 hit. He performed it again in the 1934 film version of the show, renamed The Gay Divorcee, and it became one of his signature pieces.
Porter was known to claim, that the Islamic call to worship he heard on a trip to Morocco inspired the song.  Another popular legend has it he was inspired by the Moorish architecture of the Alcazar Hotel in Cleveland HeightsOhio.
The song was so associated with Porter, that when Hollywood first filmed his life story in 1946, the movie was entitled Night and Day.
Night and day, you are the one 

Only you ‘neath the moon or under the sun 

Whether near to me or far 

It’s no matter, darling, where you are 

I think of you day and night 


Night and day, why is it so 

That this longin’ for you follows wherever I go ? 

In the roarin’ traffic’s boom 

In the silence of my lonely room 

I think of you day and night 


Night and day, under the hide of me 

There’s an oh, such a hungry yearnin’ burnin’ inside of me 

And its torment won’t be through 

Till you let me spend my life makin’ love to you 

Day and night, night and day 


Night and day, you are the one 

Only you ‘neath the moon or under the sun 

Whether near to me or far 

It’s no matter, baby, where you are 

I think of you day and night 


Night and day, why is it so 

That this longin’ for you follows wherever I go ? 

In the roarin’ traffic’s boom 

Silence of my lonely room 

I think of you day and night 


Night and day, under the hide of me 

There’s an oh, such a hungry burning inside of me 

And its torment won’t be through 

Till you let me spend life makin’ love to you 

Day and night, night and day
Anything Goes” is a popular song written by Cole Porter for his musical Anything Goes (1934). Many of the lyrics feature humorous references to various figures of scandal and gossip in Depression-era high society

Times have changed, 
And we’ve often rewound the clock, 

Since the Puritans got a shock, 

When they landed on Plymouth Rock. 

If today, 

Any shock they should try to stem, 

‘Stead of landing on Plymouth Rock, 

Plymouth Rock would land on them. 

In olden days a glimpse of stocking 

Was looked on as something shocking, 

But now, God knows, 

Anything Goes. 

Good authors too who once knew better words, 

Now only use four letter words 

Writing prose, Anything Goes. 

The world has gone mad today 

And good’s bad today, 

And black’s white today, 

And day’s night today, 

When most guys today 

That women prize today 

Are just silly gigolos 

And though I’m not a great romancer 

I know that I’m bound to answer 

When you propose, 

Anything goes 

When grandmama whose age is eighty 

In night clubs is getting matey with gigolo’s, 

Anything Goes. 

When mothers pack and leave poor father 

Because they decide they’d rather be tennis pros, 

Anything Goes. 

If driving fast cars you like, 

If low bars you like, 

If old hymns you like, 

If bare limbs you like, 

If Mae West you like 

Or me undressed you like, 

Why, nobody will oppose! 

When every night, 

The set that’s smart 

Is intruding in nudist parties in studios, 

Anything Goes. 

The world has gone mad today 

And good’s bad today, 

And black’s white today, 

And day’s night today, 

When most guys today 

That women prize today 

Are just silly gigolos 

And though I’m not a great romancer 

I know that I’m bound to answer 

When you propose, 

Anything goes 

If saying your prayers you like, 

If green pears you like 

If old chairs you like, 

If back stairs you like, 

If love affairs you like 

With young bears you like, 

Why nobody will oppose! 

And though I’m not a great romancer 

And though I’m not a great romancer 

I know that I’m bound to answer 

When you propose, 
Anything goes… 
Anything goes!

You’re The Top” is another Cole Porter song from the 1934 musical Anything Goes. It is about a man and a woman who take turns complimenting each other. 

At words poetic, I’m so pathetic 

That I always have found it best, 

Instead of getting ’em off my chest, 

To let ’em rest unexpressed, 

I hate parading my serenading 

As I’ll probably miss a bar, 

But if this ditty is not so pretty 

At least it’ll tell you 

How great you are. 

You’re the top! 

You’re the Coliseum. 

You’re the top! 

You’re the Louver Museum. 

You’re a melody from a symphony by Strauss 

You’re a Bendel bonnet, 

A Shakespeare’s sonnet, 

You’re Mickey Mouse. 

You’re the Nile, 

You’re the Tower of Pisa, 

You’re the smile on the Mona Lisa 

I’m a worthless check, a total wreck, a flop, 

But if, baby, I’m the bottom you’re the top! 

Your words poetic are not pathetic. 

On the other hand, babe, you shine, 

And I can feel after every line 

A thrill divine 

Down my spine. 

Now gifted humans like Vincent Youmans 

Might think that your song is bad, 

But I got a notion 

I’ll second the motion 

And this is what I’m going to add; 

You’re the top! 

You’re Mahatma Gandhi. 

You’re the top! 

You’re Napoleon Brandy. 

You’re the purple light 

Of a summer night in Spain, 

You’re the National Gallery 

You’re Garbo’s salary, 

You’re cellophane. 

You’re sublime, 

You’re turkey dinner, 

You’re the time, the time of a Derby winner 

I’m a toy balloon that’s fated soon to pop 

But if, baby, I’m the bottom, 

You’re the top! 

You’re the top! 

You’re an arrow collar 

You’re the top! 

You’re a Coolidge dollar, 

You’re the nimble tread 

Of the feet of Fred Astaire, 

You’re an O’Neill drama, 

You’re Whistler’s mama! 
You’re camembert. 
You’re a rose, 

You’re Inferno’s Dante, 

You’re the nose 

On the great Durante. 

I’m just in a way, 

As the French would say, “de trop”. 

But if, baby, I’m the bottom, 

You’re the top! 

You’re the top! 

You’re a dance in Bali. 

You’re the top! 

You’re a hot tamale. 

You’re an angel, you, 

Simply too, too, too diveen, 

You’re a Boticcelli, 

You’re Keats, 

You’re Shelly! 

You’re Ovaltine! 

You’re a boom, 

You’re the dam at Boulder, 

You’re the moon, 

Over Mae West’s shoulder, 

I’m the nominee of the G.O.P. 

Or GOP! 

But if, baby, I’m the bottom, 

You’re the top! 

You’re the top! 

You’re a Waldorf salad. 

You’re the top! 

You’re a Berlin ballad. 

You’re the boats that glide 

On the sleepy Zuider Zee, 

You’re an old Dutch master, 

You’re Lady Astor, 

You’re broccoli! 

You’re romance, 

You’re the steppes of Russia, 

You’re the pants, on a Roxy usher, 

I’m a broken doll, a fol-de-rol, a blop, 

But if, baby, I’m the bottom, 
You’re the top.


Cole Porter

Irving Berlin once wrote a letter to Cole Porter in which he inverted his own song lyrics. Berlin told his friend, `Anything I can do, you can do better.’ Cole Porter, born in Indiana, schooled at Yale and Harvard, became one of America’s most beloved composers and writers of popular song. Unlike many other Tin Pan Alley songwriters, the classically trained Porter wrote both the music and the lyrics.

Cole Albert Porter (June 9, 1891 – October 15, 1964) was an American composer and songwriter. Born to a wealthy family in Indiana, he defied the wishes of his domineering grandfather and took up music as a profession. Classically trained, he was drawn towards musical theatre. After a slow start, he began to achieve success in the 1920s, and by the 1930s he was one of the major songwriters for the Broadway musical stage. Unlike most successful Broadway composers, Porter wrote both the lyrics and the music for his songs.

After a serious horseback riding accident in 1937, Porter was left disabled and in constant pain, but he continued to work. His shows of the early 1940s did not contain the lasting hits of his best work of the 1920s and 30s, but in 1948 he made a triumphant comeback with his most successful musical, Kiss Me, Kate. It won the first Tony Award for best musical.

Singer Susannah McCorkle once said “Cole Porter was the sexiest songwriter. And his songs are infused with this sexual passion and longing that no other great songwriter captured, which is one reason he’s very close to my heart. It’s like having a new love affair all over again to sing a Cole Porter song.” I couldn’t agree more.

Cole promoted the legend that he fought in World War I, however, there seems to be a lot of speculation about what Cole did during these years. It is fairly certain that he served as a part time volunteer behind the lines.  shortly thereafter, he met wealthy American socialite Linda Lee Thomas. The survivor of a physically abusive first marriage, Linda was happy to overlook Porter’s sexuality in exchange for his witty companionship and a share in his glamorous life. He in turn found in Linda the sophisticated, protective life partner he needed, with a personal fortune even greater than his own. The Porters married in 1919, maintaining a joint social calendar but separate bedrooms. Although their union had its rocky moments and occasional break-ups, Cole and Linda remained, in their own way, devoted to each other. Linda’s patience was extraordinary, and Cole knew how put that patience to the test.

After a brief, frustrating affair with ballet star Boris Kochno in 1925, Porter limited his sex life to emotionless encounters with sailors and prostitutes. He found that sex, like other pleasures, could be far less complicated when it was purchased. Porter’s old friend Monty Woolley often joined him to cruise New York City’s waterfront bars and bordellos. The male prostitutes and lower-class tricks they picked up in these places were not likely to talk and would not be believed if they did. The two friends were usually successful in their quests for fresh diversion, at least in part because of their boldness. One night, a young sailor they drove up to on the street asked outright, “Are you two c**ksuckers?” Wooley smiled and said, “Now that the preliminaries are over, why don’t you get in and we can discuss the details?”

After Cole discovered the hedonistic lifestyle of Hollywood, his pool parties and gay escapades became so outrageous that Linda left him for several years. She returned when a horse riding accident shattered Cole’s legs. In his later years, Porter had several relationships with handsome younger men, but none of these ever eclipsed his relationship with Linda. He limited his sexual encounters to young men who accepted payment in return for their silence. If they spiced things up with a little verbal abuse, Porter found it all the more diverting.

Porter became a center of the social whirl wherever he went, particularly among the homosexual elite. He was the only person who ever threatened director George Cukor’s pre-eminence in Hollywood’s gay circles. In George Cukor: A Double Life (St. Martin’s: NY, 1991 and is currently being reissued on March 22, 2013), biographer Patrick McGilligan writes that these competing world-class egos were called “the rival Queens of Hollywood,” but concedes that “Porter’s was perhaps the more privileged invitation.”

While Cole kept his sex life a private matter, he had no qualms about using homosexual references in his work. But, as with almost everything else, he did it with singular style.

In the “coded” years, Cole amused himself by pitching his words on two levels, so that the “coach party” audience was content with the obvious, while the “in” group relished the real meaning.

– Graham Payne, My Life with Noel Coward

A classic example – Porter’s lyric for “A Picture of Me Without You” from Jubilee (1935) includes “picture Central Park without a sailor.” To the average audience member, this was a harmless line, but “in” group knew this referred to The Ramble, a heavily wooded section of the park where gays cruised willing straight men. When Linda died in 1954, much of the spark seemed to go out of Cole’s life. He continued to have serious crushes, but illness made him a semi-recluse in the years leading up to his death in 1964.