TMI: KISS THE COOK!

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I don’t do these TMI posts from Sean at Just A Jeep Guy every week, but on occasion, I see a topic that I can’t resist. Since I love to cook, this one was a no brainer. I had to answer the question. I hope you enjoy my answers.

1. How good of a cook are you?

I’m actually a really good cook. I’ve experimented a lot with different spices and how they taste, so I can usually eat something once and then recreate it. I can also cook a wide variety of food, such as Southern comfort foods, Italian cuisine, Creole and Cajun, Mexican, and various other types of dishes. I’ve never had anyone taste my food that didn’t love it, even when it’s something they don’t normally like. As my aunt usually asks, “Did you doctor it?” My answer is always yes. I’m going to make sure it tastes good before I serve it.

2. Who taught you how to cook?

My grandmama taught me the most about cooking, and my mama helped out a lot as well. They both taught me how to cook good southern food. I learned to cook everything else I cook from watching the Food Network and experimenting with their recipes.

3. Who does the cooking in your home?

I do all of the cooking in my home. Usually, at least once a week or so, I also cook for my neighbors.

4. Do you cook more or eat out more?

I do more cooking than eating out. I enjoy eating out, but I love in a rural area, so eating out is not convenient. I cook what we have at home mostly. This also allows me to regulate the calorie and carb content of my cooking. I almost always make one meat, two vegetables and a bread. The only exception is when I make soups or stews then I only add a bread to that.

5. Are you more of a cook or dessert maker?

I am more of a cook. My mother and I together can make wonderful desserts, but alone, I’m not so good at it. I do make fabulous cookies, though. It’s the one sweet that my mother taught me well enough that I can make cookies and brownies on my own. We used to make a lot of cookies at Christmas time. In fact, we still do, just not together. And I almost forgot, I make a wonderful peach cobbler, but I love to adapt it and use plums instead, which is beyond delicious.

6. What was your worst/funniest cooking moment?

My worst moment is any time I try to fry chicken. My mama can fry a chicken better than anyone I’ve ever known, but I’ve never had her gift, and good fried chicken is a gift.

I don’t know if I’ve ever had a funniest cooking moment. Although I recently made a fake coconut cake for a friend: styrofoam for the cake, rolled-out clay for the icing, and fake snow for the coconut. It looks beautiful and delicious, but you wouldn’t want to eat it.

7. What’s your best dish?

My best dish is Scallopini al Vino, which is veal in a white wine sauce. Pair that with risotto, bacon-wrapped asparagus, some linguini, and a good loaf of Italian or French bread, and along with a good pinot grigio, you have a delicious feast. (The dessert will be in the bedroom.)

I do my best cooking with Italian food, but if you prefer Southern comfort food, I can make a delicious meal by frying some pork chops, cooking collard greens and pink-eyed purple hull peas, with some fried hot water cornbread, that as they say in the South “Will make you slap yo mama!”

8. Is revenge a dish best served cold?

I don’t think revenge is a good dish at all. It’s best if you forgive and forget. Why dwell on something when you should jut move on. It’s best just to let anyone you’d want to take revenge on to just go their merry way, and let that be that.

9. Is the best way to a man’s heart truly through his stomach?

Absolutely! Let me cook for a man with a good appetite, and I’m pretty sure I can have him not only for the rest of the night (I make fabulous French toast for breakfast), but for the rest of his life as well. People have always told me that I’d make a wonderful husband, I just haven’t been given the chance to prove it. One day, I will though, and I have no doubt that my cooking skills will close the deal.

BONUS
Have you made whoopee in the kitchen? Which foods have you used to spice up your love life?

Nope, I’ve never made whoopee in the kitchen, but it is a fantasy of mine. I’ve never used food to spice up my love life, mainly because it’s nearly non-existent. However,that is something I would do if I had the chance. I will say though that Charles Anthony’s Restaurant at “The Pub” in Montgomery, Alabama, has a creme brûlée for dessert is truly an orgasmic experience. I’m serious, take one bite and your dick gets rock hard, eat all of it, and you’ve had an orgasm in your pants. If you are able to resist the orgasm, then you will be so horny by the time you get home, that your significant other won’t know what hit him.

About Joe

I began my life in the South and for five years lived as a closeted teacher, but am now making a new life for myself as an oral historian in New England. I think my life will work out the way it was always meant to be. That doesn't mean there won't be ups and downs; that's all part of life. It means I just have to be patient. I feel like October 7, 2015 is my new birthday. It's a beginning filled with great hope. It's a second chance to live my life…not anyone else's. My profile picture is "David and Me," 2001 painting by artist Steve Walker. It happens to be one of my favorite modern gay art pieces. View all posts by Joe

4 responses to “TMI: KISS THE COOK!

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