Attractions

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Everywhere you look, people want to use labels: gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, and straight. Even within the gay community, we are put into types: bears, twinks, muscle daddies, leather men, queens, and the list goes on and on. The types of gay men in existence are wide and varied, and you can find any number of lists of gay male types. We are even expected to choose a “type,” i.e. a type of guy that we are attracted to. I’ve often wondered what my type of guy is. Most of my friends would say tall and skinny, but that’s not always the case.

The fact is, the type of men I find most attractive goes in cycles. Sometimes (and truthfully most of the time), I go for the smooth and muscular A&F type of guy, usually one that has a moderate amount of body hair and not totally smooth. The guy usually also has great hair. (I’ve never figured out my fascination with hair, but it’s definitely a factor when I look at a guy. Maybe it’s because I’ve never had “great” hair, and I am now losing what I have.) Think Charlie White, the Olympic ice dancer, although his chest might be a tad bit too hairy, but he has best hair. Then again, there are times when I’m turned on by a really masculine, hairy, muscular guy. Then at other times, I like the more pretty, slim, and somewhat effeminate guy (though I’ve always found the word effeminate to be offensive, but I can’t think of another word to use). Really, all of it is according to my mood at the moment.

Over the years, Ive done a fair amount of thinking about the types of men I am attracted to. Most often, I conclude that I don’t have a “type.” But I’ve always wondered why the type of men that I find attractive is different from time to time. When I say my tastes change it’s not like it happens from one minute to the next, I may find a particular type of man attractive for a week or more, before settling on another. I almost always find the cute A&F types attractive no matter what, especially, if its a particular person I have a crush on. And just a side note, baseball players always seem to get my blood flowing, but as I said that’s just a side note. However, I always come back to the same question: what causes my attraction to certain types to change every so often?

I’ve always kind of concluded that it is the testosterone levels in my body. Science has proven that men have hormonal cycles just like women. Some studies say that it is a roughly 90 day cycle. Others say that it is a 20 minute cycle, a 24 hour cycle, a seasonal cycle, or even a lifetime cycle. The basic consensus though is that men do have daily and seasonal cycles. The Daily cycle begins with high levels of testosterone in the morning, usually causing morning erections, and then as the day goes on, the testosterone levels drop throughout the day. Men’s hormones cycle also happen throughout the year. In studies conducted in the United States, France, and Australia, it was found that men secrete their highest levels of sex hormones in October and their lowest levels in April. There was a 16% increase in testosterone levels from April to October and a 22% decline from October to April. Interestingly, although Australia, for example, is in its springtime when France and the United States are in their autumn, men in all three parts of the world showed a similar pattern of peaks in October and valleys in April.

I should keep a diary of my moods and changing “types” over a period of time and see if it does correspond with any known hormonal cycle, but truthfully, I’m just not organized enough to do that. However, I have always believed that most likely when I find less masculine guys attractive, then my guess would be that my testosterone level is high, and I want to be more aggressive; whereas, when my testosterone cycle is on a down swing, I am more attracted to very masculine men. This is just a theory of mine, and a way of me thinking out loud and sharing with my readers.

I am wondering though, do any of you have similar periods when the types of guys you are attracted to changes? Do you always find the same type of guy attractive? This is a bit of shallow post, because I am only basing attraction on looks, when I much prefer to get to know someone and find a connection that I am truly attractive to, regardless of looks. So what do you guys think? I’d really like to have some feedback and see what you think about this topic of “types.”

About Joe

I began my life in the South and for five years lived as a closeted teacher, but am now making a new life for myself as an oral historian in New England. I think my life will work out the way it was always meant to be. That doesn't mean there won't be ups and downs; that's all part of life. It means I just have to be patient. I feel like October 7, 2015 is my new birthday. It's a beginning filled with great hope. It's a second chance to live my life…not anyone else's. My profile picture is "David and Me," 2001 painting by artist Steve Walker. It happens to be one of my favorite modern gay art pieces. View all posts by Joe

4 responses to “Attractions

  • louisamayalcatt

    Not speaking as a gay man, but a straight – no longer stray – cat, I think the kind of people we are attracted to is commensurate with where we are in our lives at that time. Change and variety are good. We also agree, Charlie White has the best hair at the Olympics – and smile, xo LMA

  • shirtlessiniceland

    I’ve never know my type to change (always masculine-acting guys, with a bit of swagger and self-confidence) … nor have I perceived any seasonal fluctuations (which doesn’t mean they aren’t happening .. I’m sure they are). I do feel … well, randiest in the morning, but also in the evening, generally. Anyway, this is the most interesting article I’ve read in a month of Sundays.

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