Monthly Archives: April 2014

F****ing Tired

Nothing, not one damn thing seemed to go right today. The most important thing was that I hurt a friend by accident. I was an insensitive ass, and I didn’t even realize it until it was too late. It’s one of my great character flaws. For the past few weeks, I have been pulled in a dozen different directions and trying to juggling so many things at once. And I’m just fucking tired of it. I’m tired of being angry at people for not doing things like they are supposed to (or the way I think hey should be done–I can be a bit of a control freak at times). I’m tired of being angry at the world and accidentally taking it out on others. I’m tired of not being sensitive enough for my friends because I can’t juggle everything at once, when there are certain people who I want to be my sole focus, even if they live so far away. And when one of those people really needed me today, I wasn’t there for him and it tears me up inside.

I think I was too focused on other things that were going wrong with my day, which is not an excuse. I’m trying to teach my classes and create a DVD of the recording of the play we did, but when I tried to purchase the software to make the DVD, they won’t accept my payment. First my bank rejected it thinking it was a fraudulent purchase, and after I got that straightened out, now the software company won’t take a payment from me at all. The thing is that I really liked this software. I have looked at several different programs to use, but all of them are either very difficult for me the figure out, or I’m unable to purchase the software, or they are a crappy software that won’t work with the videos, or it’s one of the numerous other problems I’ve run into trying to make this DVD. (If anyone has a suggestion for a DVD creator, please let me know. I’d greatly appreciate it.)

Then after staying after school late to figure the DVD shit out (after dealing with uncaring students all day), I get home to find out three other bad pieces of news. First, I’d hurt my friend more than I thought, and I can only beg for forgiveness. Second, I was supposed to go to a concert on Saturday, but it’s been cancelled because the large amounts of rain we’ve received recently has flooded the amphitheater. The concert has been postponed until May 3. Not that bad of a problem but the person I was going with will be out of state and can’t go on the rescheduled date. Then I find out that I’m being told since I’m not going to the concert that I have to attend a wedding shower, and my family is mad at me because I said that I would not go. I’ve had so much going on the last few weeks, that if I’m not going to the concert, I refuse to do a damn thing on Saturday.

I apologize for the harsher tone and language of this post, but I’m just so angry and frustrated and tired right now, I can either scream or cry or both. So I needed a ranting post. I feel like such a shitty person right now, and I feel sorry for anyone who gets in my way. I tend to get angry and lash out when I am so frustrated. Therefore, I am going to post this now, get it off my chest, stay in my bedroom, and try to relax. I hope tomorrow is a better day. If I calm down enough to write a post for tomorrow, then I will do so, but one of two things are going to happen, if I don’t wrote a post, I may just post a picture.

I just hope things get better and my friend finds it in his heart to forgive me, not to mention the friends I need to email that I haven’t in the last few weeks because I have been so busy. I also hope that my frustration level decreases. It really needs to, and I just need to calm down and quit being frustrated with myself.


Hmmm…

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I thought I’d decide on a post for today, but before I could, I was working on a project for school and suddenly I was overcome with a wave of nausea and a headache. I basically had to stop what I was doing and head to bed so that the room would quit spinning and maybe my nausea would subside. Subsequently, this will be a short post, as I found it hard to concentrate on writing much of a post.


Reductio ad Hitlerum

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Lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) rights advocates are part of a “radical homosexual movement” that mirrors elements of Nazi Germany, Rick Wiles is claiming.

As Right Wing Watch is reporting, the TruNews host blasted the LGBT community in a heated broadcast with Pastor Jeff Allen, who has previously evoked Nazi imagery while condemning gay rights.

“It’s not an exaggeration to say ‘homofascist’ because the German Nazi Party was homosexual,” Wiles said. “Hitler was a homosexual, the top Nazi leadership, all of them were homosexuals…they were creating a homosexual special race.”

Wiles went on to note, “It wasn’t this thing about an Aryan race of white people, blue-eyed, blonde-haired, white people, Hitler was trying to create a race of super gay male soldiers … It will end up in America just like it was in Germany, but it won’t be the Jews that will be slaughtered. It will be the Christians.”

In February, Wiles’ guest offered up similar sentiments.

“Many [LGBT rights advocates] really do console themselves with fantasies of their own Kristallnacht, in which Christians are euphemistically ‘taken out of the way’ as part of the ‘gay’-stapo’s ‘final solution’ to the ‘Christian problem,'”Allen wrote in an Op-Ed for Liberty Counsel attorney Matt Barber’s website Barbwire.

Similarly, the American Family Association’s Bryan Fischer referred to LGBT rights advocates as “Nazi stormtroopers” who are “totalitarian and repressive” in a 2013 broadcast.

Wiles’ TruNews promotes itself on its website as “the world’s leading news source that reports, analyzes, and comments on global events and trends with a conservative, orthodox Christian worldview.”

Comparison with Nazis is so overdone that there’s even a name for it: Godwin’s Law. In this case the more appropriate name might be the older dog Latin term Reductio ad Hitlerum, a term coined by conservative philosopher Leo Strauss in 1951. According to Strauss, the Reductio ad Hitlerum is an informal fallacy that consists of trying to refute an opponent’s view by comparing it to a view that would be held by Adolf Hitler or the Nazi Party. According to Strauss, Reductio ad Hitlerum is a form of ad hominem or ad misericordiam, a fallacy of irrelevance, in which a conclusion is suggested based solely on something’s or someone’s origin rather than its current meaning. The suggested rationale is one of guilt by association. Its name is a variation on the term reductio ad absurdum.

It is not the first time that someone has compared equal rights advocates to fascists or nazism, but merely another example in a long line of accusations. The arguments are ridiculous and those who use reductio ad Hitlerum are using poor fallacies because they are so uneducated and unable to make a credible argument. All they want to do is rule people up by using the comparison to fascism. Vladimir Putin recently did that to describe the Ukrainian government in order to invade the Crimea. The use of such fallacies can also be called argumentum ad Nazium a variant derived from argumentum ad nauseam, meaning arguing to the the point of nausea.

If Rick Wiles wanted to compare LGBT advocacy groups to the Nazis, he picked a horrible comparison. LGBT groups, and all equal rights groups, want equal rights for all, someone that Hitler and his followers never came close to believing in.

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Birches

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Birches
by Robert Frost

When I see birches bend to left and right
Across the lines of straighter darker trees,
I like to think some boy’s been swinging them.
But swinging doesn’t bend them down to stay
As ice-storms do. Often you must have seen them
Loaded with ice a sunny winter morning
After a rain. They click upon themselves
As the breeze rises, and turn many-colored
As the stir cracks and crazes their enamel.
Soon the sun’s warmth makes them shed crystal shells
Shattering and avalanching on the snow-crust—
Such heaps of broken glass to sweep away
You’d think the inner dome of heaven had fallen.
They are dragged to the withered bracken by the load,
And they seem not to break; though once they are bowed
So low for long, they never right themselves:
You may see their trunks arching in the woods
Years afterwards, trailing their leaves on the ground
Like girls on hands and knees that throw their hair
Before them over their heads to dry in the sun.
But I was going to say when Truth broke in
With all her matter-of-fact about the ice-storm
I should prefer to have some boy bend them
As he went out and in to fetch the cows—
Some boy too far from town to learn baseball,
Whose only play was what he found himself,
Summer or winter, and could play alone.
One by one he subdued his father’s trees
By riding them down over and over again
Until he took the stiffness out of them,
And not one but hung limp, not one was left
For him to conquer. He learned all there was
To learn about not launching out too soon
And so not carrying the tree away
Clear to the ground. He always kept his poise
To the top branches, climbing carefully
With the same pains you use to fill a cup
Up to the brim, and even above the brim.
Then he flung outward, feet first, with a swish,
Kicking his way down through the air to the ground.
So was I once myself a swinger of birches.
And so I dream of going back to be.
It’s when I’m weary of considerations,
And life is too much like a pathless wood
Where your face burns and tickles with the cobwebs
Broken across it, and one eye is weeping
From a twig’s having lashed across it open.
I’d like to get away from earth awhile
And then come back to it and begin over.
May no fate willfully misunderstand me
And half grant what I wish and snatch me away
Not to return. Earth’s the right place for love:
I don’t know where it’s likely to go better.
I’d like to go by climbing a birch tree,
And climb black branches up a snow-white trunk
Toward heaven, till the tree could bear no more,
But dipped its top and set me down again.
That would be good both going and coming back.
One could do worse than be a swinger of birches.

Source: The Poetry of Robert Frost (1969)

“Birches” is a poem by American poet Robert Frost. It was collected in Frost’s third collection of poetry Mountain Interval that was published in 1916. Consisting of 59 lines, it is one of Robert Frost’s most anthologized poems. The poem “Birches”, along with other poems that deal with rural landscape and wildlife, shows Frost as a nature poet.

Frost’s writing of this poem was inspired by another similar poem “Swinging on a Birch-tree” by American poet Lucy Larcom and his own experience of swinging birch trees at his childhood. Frost once told “it was almost sacrilegious climbing a birch tree till it bent, till it gave and swooped to the ground, but that’s what boys did in those days”.Written in 1913-1914, “Birches” first appeared in Atlantic Monthly in the August issue of 1915, and was later collected in Frost’s third book Mountain Interval (1916).

When the speaker (the poet himself) sees the birches being bent to left and right sides in contrast to straight trees, he likes to think that some boys have been swinging them. He then realizes that it is not the boys, rather the ice storms that bend the birches. In winter morning, birches become covered with snow which displays multiple colors in sunlight. The growing sunlight causes the snow to fall on the ground.

When the Truth again strikes the speaker, he still prefers his imagination of the boys swinging and bending the birches. In his imagination, the boy plays with the birches. The speaker says he also was a swinger of birches when he was a boy, and wishes to be so now. When he becomes weary of this world, and life becomes confused, he likes to go toward heaven by climbing a birch tree and then come back again because earth is the right place for love.

Written in conversational language, the poem constantly moves between imagination and fact, from reverie to reflection. In the opening, the speaker employs an explanation for how the birch trees were bent. He is pleased to think that some boys were swinging them when he is suddenly reminded that it is actually the ice-storm that bends the trees. Thus, the poem makes some shift of thought in its description. An abrupt shift occurs when the speaker yearns to leave this earth because of its confusion and make a heaven-ward journey. But the speaker does not want to die by leaving earth forever. He wants to come back to this earth, because to the speaker, the earth is, though not perfect, a better place for going on. The speaker is not one who is ready to wait for the promise of afterlife. The love expressed here is for life. This shows Frost’s agnostic side where heaven is a fragile concept to him. This becomes clear when he says the inner dome of heaven had fallen.

The poem centers on various themes of balance, youth, spirituality, and natural world. The poem deals with the issue of how to reconcile between impulse and carefulness, between spontaneity and structure. This act of balancing remains a crucial theme in Frost’s thought, and frost’s typical suggestion to this is to execute things in a way that requires control and skill – be it a question of climbing and swinging a Birch tree or an act of writing or any other issue of real-life. Youth also comes as a theme in this poem as the speaker imagines some boy despite coming across one.

FYI: If you’re wondering what the picture above has to do with the poem “Birches” by Robert Frost, it’s actually a play on words, because the model’s name is Cam Birch.


Successful Drama

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The play was a great success. We had a nearly sold out house on Friday night, and though it wasn’t quite as full on Saturday night, we had a more responsive crowd. The girls did better than I ever could have hoped. They are teenagers, so it wasn’t perfect, but they did as I said and they covered it well. All the practice and hard work paid off.

After a week of working no less than fifteen hours a day and appending my spring break the week before getting the set ready, I slept most of yesterday. My body was so tired, I was aching all over. However, I am glad that we also raised a fair amount of money for charity. Because the play we did had a fair amount to do with diabetes, we raised money for the American Diabetes Association.

I am so incredibly proud of my drama club, I just can’t say it enough.

A few notes, I’m not going to say which play because i need to remain anonymous. Also, the picture above is most likely from a production of “Cat on a Hot Tin Roof.” I’d love to do a Tennessee Williams play sometime, whenever I convince some boys to be in the plays.


The Source of Peace

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What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me-practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.–Philippians 4:9

Now may the God of peace himself sanctify you completely, and may your whole spirit and soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.–1 Thessalonians 5:23

Now may the God of peace who brought again from the dead our Lord Jesus, the great shepherd of the sheep, by the blood of the eternal covenant.– Hebrews 13:20

This subjective, experiential peace that I have written about for the past two Sundays–the peace of God–has its foundation in the objective, factual peace–peace with God. The peace of God is not obtainable by those who are not at peace with Him. God alone brings peace. In fact, in Philippians 4:9, 1 Thessalonians 5:23, and again in Hebrews 13:20, He is called “the God of peace.”

Jesus Christ is also seen as the One who gives peace. Jesus said, “My peace I give to you.” Notice He says “My peace.” Here is the key to the supernaturalness of this peace: it is His own personal peace. It is the same deep, rich peace that stilled His heart in the midst of mockers, haters, murderers, traitors, and everything else He faced. He had a calm about Him that was unnatural and nonhuman. In the midst of incomprehensible resistance and persecution, Jesus was calm and unfaltering; He was a rock.

Those who knew Him might have come to expect it, but you can imagine how it must have confounded His enemies and those who didn’t know Him to see someone that calm. When Jesus appeared before Pilate, He was so calm, so serene, so controlled, and so at peace, that Pilate became greatly disturbed. He was furious that Jesus was standing before him fearless; and in a near frenzy, Pilate said, “Do You not know that I have authority to release You, and I have authority to crucify You?” (John 19:10).

Then in perfect peace Jesus replied, “You would have no authority over Me, unless it had been given you from above” (John 19:11). That’s the kind of peace Jesus is talking about. That’s the kind He gives to us. It is undistracted fearlessness and trust. So the source of peace is Christ.

In fact, Christ is seen throughout the New Testament as the dispenser of peace. In Acts 10:36, Peter says, “The word which He sent to the sons of Israel, preaching peace through Jesus Christ.” Second Thessalonians 3:16 says, “Now may the Lord of peace Himself continually grant you peace.” Jesus Christ gives us His own personal peace. It has been tested; it was His own shield and His own helmet that served Him in battle. And He gave it to us when He left. It should give us the same serenity in danger, the same calm in trouble, and the same freedom from anxiety.


Moment of Zen: Beauty

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As Time Goes By

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You must remember this
A kiss is just a kiss, a sigh is just a sigh.
The fundamental things apply
As time goes by.


I Just Want to Scream Sometimes…

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…but right now, I’m too tired to do so. I forget how exhausting directing a play is, especially when you can’t delegate much responsibility because you are working with teenagers. The last week is always the worst. There are things that have been forgotten, then their are people who promised to help, but then might not be able to (not because hey don’t want to but because of health or whatever reason are not able to), and of course there is the worrying about will everything go well and will the actors remember their lines. And not matter how much I prepare and make lists, there is always something that gets forgotten or that must be done last minute. I have not gotten a good night’s sleep in over a week and it’s been worse since Sunday. No matter how tired I am, I keep thinking of things that need to be done. When I lie down to go to sleep at night, I lay there and think of all the things that still need to be done, trying to remember what I’ve forgotten, and so on and so forth. Then when I finally fall asleep, I dream of the play all night long. Tuesday night, I dreamed that a cast member died, and I had to replace her within two days of the play. Logic should have kicked in and said that the play should be cancelled, but dreams are not logical.

Anyway, I tried to think of something to post today, and this is what came out. Please excuse my whining. The performances are Friday and Saturday night, so I can’t wait until Sunday, when I can finally rest and catch my breath. Until then, I will be nervous, frazzled, and overworked, so I hope that all who know me, including the students I have in class, will understand my state of mind. I’m not a crazy person, just a stressed.


‘We Wish Them Nothing But Failure’

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OKCupid may be in the business of love, but the online dating site has anything but tender feelings for Mozilla and its newly-appointed CEO.

In a letter published Monday on OKCupid.com but viewable only to those who try to enter the site using a Mozilla Firefox Internet browser, the company called out CEO Brendan Eich’s past support of Proposition 8, a 2008 ballot initiative that aimed to ban same-sex marriage in California.

“Those who seek to deny love and instead enforce misery, shame, and frustration are our enemies,” the letter reads in part. “[W]e wish them nothing but failure.”

You can see a screengrab of OKCupid’s message if you click here, but we’ve also reproduced it in its entire below:

“Hello there, Mozilla Firefox user. Pardon this interruption of your OkCupid experience.

Mozilla’s new CEO, Brendan Eich, is an opponent of equal rights for gay couples. We would therefore prefer that our users not use Mozilla software to access OkCupid.

Politics is normally not the business of a website, and we all know there’s a lot more wrong with the world than misguided CEOs. So you might wonder why we’re asserting ourselves today. This is why: we’ve devoted the last ten years to bringing people—all people—together. If individuals like Mr. Eich had their way, then roughly 8% of the relationships we’ve worked so hard to bring about would be illegal. Equality for gay relationships is personally important to many of us here at OkCupid. But it’s professionally important to the entire company. OkCupid is for creating love. Those who seek to deny love and instead enforce misery, shame, and frustration are our enemies, and we wish them nothing but failure.”

OKCupid does provide Firefox users with a link through to the actual site at the bottom of the page, but nevertheless urges people to use alternate browsers:

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In an statement emailed to The Huffington Post late Monday, Mozilla asserted that it is no way an anti-gay institution.

“Mozilla supports equality for all, including marriage equality for LGBT couples. No matter who you are or who you love, everyone deserves the same rights and to be treated equally,” a Mozilla spokesperson wrote. “OkCupid never reached out to us to let us know of their intentions, nor to confirm facts.”

Eich’s appointment as Mozilla’s new CEO last week led to an outcry among lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) rights advocates. At the heart of the criticism against Eich is a $1,000 donation the Mozilla co-founder and JavaScript inventor made in support of Proposition 8 six years ago.

In its letter to Firefox users, OKCupid wrote that while Eich’s contribution is six years in the past, “Mr. Eich’s boilerplate statements in the time since make it seem like he has the same views now as he did then.”

Eich himself last week addressed concerns about his “commitment to fostering equality and welcome for LGBT individuals at Mozilla” on his personal blog.

In it, he said:

“I am committed to ensuring that Mozilla is, and will remain, a place that includes and supports everyone, regardless of sexual orientation, gender identity, age, race, ethnicity, economic status, or religion.”

Harry Bradford of HuffPost Gay Voices contributed to this report.