Honestly, I almost didn’t do a Moment of Zen this week. For me, moments of zen are things that make me happy, things that having a calming effect. There has not been much joy or calm this week. Since Monday morning when I couldn’t find HRH, then that afternoon, when it found her outside and had to rush her to the vet, I have done little but worry about her. Then Thursday, I lost her. It’s been a very difficult and emotionally draining week. A week that will take a long time to get over.
Then I thought about all the comments and emails that I received from readers. I thought of all the phone calls and texts from people who had found out that HRH passed. I thought about the way my students and fellow faculty reacted with sorrow and hugs. Yes, they may have often picked at me a bit about my cat, but they knew how much I cared for her. Many of them have lost a pet as well. It didn’t make me any less sad, but the love and concern others showed made it a little easier to deal with yesterday.
I wanted to make another mention of a bright spot of the week. I had written a review of Amy Lane’s books, and sent her an email asking a question. She responded so kindly and generously. I also heard from quite a number of her fans Thursday, which was a bright spot in an otherwise dark day. I have to admit though, Amy’s books might not be the best to read when you’re sad. Yes, there is usually the happy ending to them, but there is a lot of angst along the way.
Amy Lane knows how to pull at your heart strings. She pulled at a particularly recent heart string yesterday as I was reading. One of the characters in Making Promises, Shane Perkins who is an animal lover, said, “I’m sorry I was late. I had to put down one of my cats.” I burst into tears. I’d held myself together all day, but I couldn’t contain it anymore. I couldn’t read anymore either, especially since I was actually listening to the audiobook while driving. It’s not safe to have tears distort your vision while driving.Then I decided to listen to a little more before bed. If I was going to cry more, then I could do so alone. I didn’t though. Shane described his older regal cat and how sick she had become. Yes, it reminded me of HRH, but the tenderness of the story helped. Like I said Thursday, Amy has a way of writing real characters with whom you can identify.
Thank you all for the love and support, the emails and comments, you helped make a difficult situtation better.