Moment of Zen: You Are My Sunshine


Before my interview Thursday, I began to freak out a little, okay a lot. I knew I was prepared, but I still got incredibly nervous and on the verge of a full blown panic attack. My boyfriend was working, so I couldn’t disturb him, so I texted a very good friend of mine who always seems to calm me down. When I told him I was freaking out he told me that everything would be okay and that I would do great. Then he texted me this:

You are my sunshine

My only sunshine

When I couldn’t think clearly, he knew exactly how I am able to calm myself. Mama used to sing “You Are My Sunshine” to me when I was little. It has always calmed me when I have a panic attack. It’s one of the few things that work. It’s puts me back into perspective and allows things to slow down. So I sang:

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are grey
You never know, dear, how much I love you
Please don’t take my sunshine away

The other night, dear, as I lay sleeping
I dreamt I held you in my arms
When I awoke, dear, I was mistaken
So I hung my head, and I cried

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are grey
You never know, dear, how much I love you
Please don’t take my sunshine away

I’ll always love you and make you happy
If you will only say the same
But if you leave me to love another,
You’ll regret it all one day

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are grey
You never know, dear, how much I love you
Please don’t take my sunshine away

Please don’t take my sunshine away

Before I knew it, I had calmed down and had been able to convince myself that I was ready for this interview and that it would go great. And it did. Thank you everyone for your prayers, but it’s not over yet. I still need your prayers. They won’t decide until next week after the other two people are interviewed. I’m hoping that I was memorable enough that they will offer me the job. But I have to be patient and wait. So my true Moment of Zen this week was a friend reminding me: You are my sunshine, my only sunshine.

And while I could have used most any picture for today’s Moment of Zen, I chose the one above. It looks kind of sunshiny.  If you don’t know who the guy in the middle is (and if you don’t, what rock have you been living under?), it is Pietro Boselli. Boselli has a PhD in mathematics and paid his way through graduate school by modeling. He lectures at the University of London.  He’s also Italian. (swoon) I’m not a math person, so I do not understand what he actually studies. Advanced mathematics is something that is way over my head. Isn’t it just unfair that someone can be that beautiful and that brilliant? He posted the above picture to Instagram which shows the math teacher/model striking a pose with Spanish model River Viiperi and Texan model Parker Gregory.

About Joe

I began my life in the South and for five years lived as a closeted teacher, but am now making a new life for myself as an oral historian in New England. I think my life will work out the way it was always meant to be. That doesn't mean there won't be ups and downs; that's all part of life. It means I just have to be patient. I feel like October 7, 2015 is my new birthday. It's a beginning filled with great hope. It's a second chance to live my life…not anyone else's. My profile picture is "David and Me," 2001 painting by artist Steve Walker. It happens to be one of my favorite modern gay art pieces. View all posts by Joe

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