Monthly Archives: August 2015

#ALMarriage


For more than 20 years, conservative Christians have been building the case that laws protecting gay people and legalizing same-sex marriage place an unconstitutional burden on the rights of religious people who believe homosexuality is a sin. The biggest problem with this argument is that they used it to justify slavery. They used it to justify segregation. They used it to justify bans on interracial marriage. They used it against teaching evolution in schools. They’ve used it over and over again to use the Bible to back up bigotry and ignorance. I don’t understand the Jesus that they claim to follow. He’s not the Jesus in my Bible, and if they’d look, he’s not the Jesus in theirs either.

Thankfully, the courts appear unconflicted on this issue. Last week, conservative Christians suffered two more defeats in a nearly unbroken string of legal losses over the last decade.

First came the ruling of Judge David L. Bunning of the U.S. District Court for Eastern Kentucky, who ordered Rowan County Clerk Kim Davis to issue state marriage licenses to all qualified couples who seek them. Davis is “certainly free to disagree with the Court’s decision, as many Americans likely do,” Bunning wrote, referring to the Supreme Court’s decision legalizing gay marriage. “But that does not excuse her from complying with it.”

Then, in Colorado, the Court of Appeals weighed in on a case that has been brewing since 2012, when David Mullins, Charlie Craig, and Craig’s mother visited a bakery near their home and tried to buy a cake for a reception celebrating the couple’s upcoming marriage in Massachusetts. (At the time, Colorado did not recognize same-sex marriages.) Jack Phillips, the evangelical owner of the Masterpiece Cakeshop — who also won’t bake Halloween cookies or erotic pastries — told the couple he does not create wedding cakes for same-sex weddings because of his religious beliefs.

Phillips’ legal team, the Alliance Defending Freedom, a Christian advocacy group based in Arizona, argued that Phillips’ decision to turn down the couple was protected by the First Amendment. But the Colorado Court of Appeals disagreed. The bakery, like Kim Davis, “remains free to continue espousing its religious beliefs, including its opposition to same-sex marriage,” the court explained in its ruling last Thursday. However, if Phillips wishes to run the bakery as a public business, Colorado’s anti-discrimination law “prohibits it from picking and choosing customers based on their sexual orientation.”

Before I go any further, let me just say that any public business that refuses to serve someone because of their own bigotry (it is not “religious freedom”), then they should have their business license revoked. Furthermore, and I can’t say this strongly enough, I DO NOT WANT TO DO BUSINESS WITH BIGOTS!!! I refuse to give my business to anyone who I know supports anti-gay organizations or spew their own hatred. It’s why I refuse to watch A&E television because they continue to show Duck Dynasty. It is why I refuse to patronize Chik-fil-A. Furthermore, it is why I will not patronize any business in an Alabama county whose probate judge refuses to issue marriage licenses.

Here’s where I see a problem. I can’t do this alone. One person boycotting won’t do it. But once again, Alabama is being forgotten. The bakery case has been going on for some time, so I’m not going to address that further, but the news media is latching on to this one Kentucky clerk’s refusal to issue marriage licenses when there are FOURTEEN probate judges in Alabama refusing to issue marriage licenses. And if you are a regular reader of my blog, then you know the reason for this is a loophole in the Alabama Constitution that is a mistake. It says probate judges “may” issue marriage licenses, when it should have read “shall.” Common law and precedent should overrule where probate judges who are latching on to this one word: MAY. Never in the one hundred and fourteen years of the Alabama Constitution has any probate judge in Alabama deemed fit to use this loophole. Not even when interracial marriage became legal did they use it, and this is Alabama we are talking about. Alabama used other tactics to prevent interracial marriage, which President Nixon finally forced them to comply.

I had a conversation yesterday with the Campaign for Southern Equality, a small but diligent organization fighting for LGBT equality in the South. They contacted me since I had signed a petition for them earlier this year and asked if I would discuss with them the political climate of Alabama. I had a wonderful talk with Lindsey Simerly of CSE and have an even greater respect for their diligence than before, and I already respected them a lot. They are concerned about Alabama’s probate judges, and they want to help force them to comply. I personally believe that now is the time to push the fact that up to fourteen probate judges are not doing their job. I tried to check on one of the counties for them and see if they were issuing marriage licenses, but was unable to get a clear answer. What I did find out though is that their website says that the probate judges office is responsible for marriage licenses. If it is their responsibility then it sounds like an obligation that they are admitting to and not one that they “may” do or “may not” do. They even list the fees for performing weddings.

I think the climate in Alabama may be right, but for how long, I don’t know. Right now, the Governor is using language that can be used to either get him to force the judges to comply or show what a complete hypocrite he actually is. Let me explain why I say this. The Alabama Legislature has one constitutional duty, pass a budget. They failed to do so in the regular session, and they failed to do so in the special session. Governor Bentley has stated that, “If you stand up and lead, people will vote for you. If you don’t do that, then you might get beat. And…the people who are not willing to do what is needed for the people of this state need to get beat.”. Bentley is basically saying that the legislature has a job that they aren’t doing, and they need to be voted out. The same is true of these fourteen probate judges, they have a job that they aren’t doing. If Bentley wants to allow probate judges not to do their job, then how can he turn around and criticize the legislature for not doing theirs, and vice versa. Same for the people of Alabama. They can’t grumble about the legislature not doing their one job, yet allow probate judges to refuse to do theirs.

The point is: one clerk in Kentucky, fourteen judges in Alabama. Tell me where the real problem is. It’s in Alabama, not with some pissant clerk in Kentucky who is on a power trip. It’s going to take organization to put Alabama probate judges in their place. Pike County is one of the most vocal about not allowing marriage licenses because the probate judge doesn’t want to issue same sex marriage licenses. Troy University is one of Alabama’s major universities. Troy is a university of nearly 20,000 students and 700 faculty and staff. Not to mention that the University serves the educational needs of students in four Alabama campuses, sixty teaching sites in 17 U.S. States and 11 countries. Troy University’s graduates number more than 100,000 alumni representing all 50 states and from numerous foreign countries. Troy University is known as Alabama’s International University for its extensive international program in attracting foreign students from around the world. What’s it going to look like when foreign students find out their university is in such a hostile environment. Troy University should be putting major pressure on the probate judge and on the county’s economy. They have the resources to do it. But they haven’t said a word as far as I know.

We can’t let these fourteen judges get away with this bigotry.
PS I am feeling better and more hopeful.  Thank you for all your love and support.


See Previous Post

  
I didn’t feel like writing anything today.  Maybe this afternoon or tomorrow, I’ll put an update.  Waking up because of an excruciating headache at 5 am doesn’t help much either, and I’d just told someone the other day that with my new headache treatment regimen, I had not been being woken by headaches.


I Try, But Sometimes I Fail

image

I try so hard to remain upbeat and to just believe that God will point me in the right direction. He says that He will not forsake us if we do not forsake Him, but it is really hard at times to believe that. As I write this, it is Wednesday afternoon. The sky is dark with storm clouds, the rain is beating down, and there is thunder and lightening all around. Not the best thing for keeping a person’s spirits up, even though I’ve always loved the rain and stormy weather. It’s just not lifting my spirits. I should be happy that my job interview seemed to go well, but instead I brooded all night last night with worry. I finally fell asleep sometime around 4 a.m. I made myself get out of bed at 10:30, but I didn’t want to. I did though and submitted three more job applications. However, by the afternoon I was wiped.

The stress and worry is piling up on me. What am I going to do financially if I can’t find a job? Why can’t people see that I’d be a wonderful asset to their organization? Why can’t I find the joy in the little things that should make me happy? I hate my life, I hate my fucking situation, and I just want to be far, far away from this miserable place.

Maybe tomorrow will be better. Maybe something good will finally happen. Maybe I will actually even get some encouraging news this afternoon. Maybe this, maybe that. It all seems to be maybes, and I don’t handle uncertainties well. To be completely honest, I’m scared. I’m doing everything I know how to do but nothing seems to work. People have told me over and over that things will eventually work out, but it’s times like this that I find that hard to believe. This up and down roller coaster of emotions is killing me, and I don’t know what to do, except just curl up in bed and cry. Which is what I’m going to do right now. Maybe listening to the rain will help smooth me, or maybe I’ll fall asleep and wake up feeling more hopeful.


The Interview

image

I had my interview yesterday. It’s an entry level position but everyone has to start somewhere. I know she believed I was over-qualified, but the interview went exceptionally well. She was very nice, and I’m pretty sure she thought the same of me. I know I would enjoy working with her though I know that being director at this place is not her primary job. Her main position is as the outreach director for a large civil rights organization/legal institution that built and administers this museum.* overall, I think the interview went really well, and I was told that I would hear from them very soon. I just hope it pays somewhere near what I was making as a teacher (don’t forget I was paid very poorly as a private school teacher, roughly 50% of the salary of a public school teacher). Whether I get this job or not, I believe in what my current supervisor at my volunteer job told me to pray for: “God please let me be offered the job that is right for me. I get confused when there are choices.” I never did do well on multiple choice tests.

One of the things that really intrigued me about this interview was that she wanted to discuss my experience with conducting oral histories. I was glad she did that for two reasons. One, it showed that the oral history experience I have is something that stand out on my resume. This is important because I recently applied for a job that would primarily deal with oral histories. It’s a job that I’d really like to have in a part of the country that id love to live in. The other thing is that, whether I get this job or not, it gave me some great experience and practice discussing my background in oral history. As RB commented on Monday’s post, “Every time you interview it’s good practice and you usually learn something. The more you interview, the better you become at it. So not a waste of time.”

In other developments, I was contacted by the the Campaign for Southern Equality because I had signed a petition earlier this year about marriage equality in Alabama. Fourteen of Alabama’s sixty-seven counties are not issuing marriage licenses to anyone because “they feel issuing marriage licenses to same-sex couples violates their religious beliefs.” My address made it appear that I lived in one of those counties, though I actually live a few miles from the county line in the neighboring county.** I explained this to her and gave her some insight into the county. Anyway, she now want to discuss things over the phone with me tomorrow. I’m not sure how much help I can be, but I am happy to be able to offer some assistance. Sadly, if they want to call to ask me for a donation, they are out of luck until I find a good paying job.
*To give just a hint at what organization I applied to work with, it just lost one of their founders over the weekend. His death was a great loss to civil rights movements.

**In my part of rural Alabama, the two nearest town refused to serve the rural mail routes where I live (this was many years before I was born), even though one of those routes ends two houses down from me. So another rural post office offered mail service but it was located in another county. At the time they only had one rural route all in the county where the post office existed. They expanded to have a second rural route in the neighboring county to give people that did not have rural mail access, mail service. Thus before they named our roads and gave us street numbers to simplify the rural 911 service, my address began with Route 2, Box ###. My great-grandmother is actually the one that convinced this small rural post office to bring mail service to our area.


A Poetic Lesson: The Villanelle

image

The House on the Hill
By Edwin Arlington Robinson

They are all gone away,
The House is shut and still,
There is nothing more to say.

Through broken walls and gray
The winds blow bleak and shrill:
They are all gone away.

Nor is there one to-day
To speak them good or ill:
There is nothing more to say.

Why is it then we stray
Around the sunken sill?
They are all gone away,

And our poor fancy-play
For them is wasted skill:
There is nothing more to say.

There is ruin and decay
In the House on the Hill:
They are all gone away,
There is nothing more to say.

 
Edwin Arlington Robinson is one of my favorite American poets (see this post from several years ago). One of the things I will truly miss about teaching at my former job is having the opportunity to teach American literature. Sometimes, I wish I had gotten a master’s in American literature or literary history. If I had unlimited resources, I’d get a degree in American lit, American Art history, museum studies and probably one in religious studies, but that’s neither here nor there.

Now for the lesson on this poem. It is a poetic form of fixed verse known as the villanelle. A villanelle (also known as villanesque) is a nineteen-line poetic form consisting of five tercets (three line stanzas) followed by a quatrain (a four line stanza). There are two refrains and two repeating rhymes, with the first and third line of the first tercet repeated alternately until the last stanza, which includes both repeated lines. The word derives from Latin, then Italian, and is related to the initial subject of the form being the pastoral.

The rhyme-and-refrain pattern of the villanelle can be schematized as A1bA2 abA1 abA2 abA1 abA2 abA1A2 where letters (“a” and “b”) indicate the two rhyme sounds, upper case indicates a refrain (“A”), and numerals (1 and 2) indicate Refrain 1 and Refrain 2. The pattern is shown as an example in the poem “Do not go gentle into that good night” by Dylan Thomas, which is the poem most often used as an example of a villanelle:

Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Refrain 1 (A1)
Line 2 (b)
Refrain 2 (A2)

Line 4 (a)
Line 5 (b)
Refrain 1 (A1)

Line 7 (a)
Line 8 (b)
Refrain 2 (A2)

Line 10 (a)
Line 11 (b)
Refrain 1 (A1)

Line 13 (a)
Line 14 (b)
Refrain 2 (A2)

Line 16 (a)
Line 17 (b)
Refrain 1 (A1)
Refrain 2 (A2)

Unlike many fixed verse poetic forms, the villanelle has no established meter, although most 19th-century villanelles have used trimeter or tetrameter and most 20th-century villanelles have used pentameter. Slight alteration of the refrain line is permissible.

The form started as a simple ballad-like song with no fixed form; this fixed quality would only come much later, from the poem “Villanelle (J’ay perdu ma Tourterelle)” (1606) by Jean Passerat. From this point, its evolution into the “fixed form” used in the present day is debated. Despite its French origins, the majority of villanelles have been written in English, a trend which began in the late nineteenth century. The villanelle has been noted as a form that frequently treats the subject of obsessions, and one which appeals to outsiders; its defining feature of repetition prevents it from having a conventional tone.

In the villanelle’s repetition of lines, the form is often used, and properly used, to deal with one or another degree of obsession, such as in Sylvia Plath’s “Mad Girl’s Love Song” amongst other examples. Repetition allows the possibility for the form to evoke, through the relationship between the repeated lines, a feeling of dislocation and is what some have termed a paradigm for schizophrenia. This repetition of lines has been considered to prevent villanelles from possessing a conventional tone and that instead they are closer in form to a song or lyric poetry. Stephen Fry says that the villanelle “is a form that seems to appeal to outsiders, or those who might have cause to consider themselves as such”, having a “playful artifice” which suits “rueful, ironic reiteration of pain or fatalism.” In spite of this, the villanelle has also often been used for light verse, as for instance Louis Untermeyer’s “Lugubrious Villanelle of Platitudes” or the song by They Might Be Giants called “Hate the Villanelle.”

On the relationship between form and content, Anne Ridler noted in an introduction to her own poem “Villanelle for the Middle of the Way” a point made by T. S. Eliot, that “to use very strict form is a help, because you concentrate on the technical difficulties of mastering the form, and allow the content of the poem a more unconscious and freer release,” which sounds so very Post Modern. In an introduction to his own take on the form entitled “Missing Dates,” William Empson suggested that while the villanelle is a “very rigid form,” W. H. Auden—in his long poem “The Sea and the Mirror”—had nonetheless “made it sound absolutely natural like the innocent girl talking.”

As an English teacher colleague once told me, fixed verse poems are fascinating because you have to have a true talent to make a poem not only conform to fixed verse rules, but to at at the same time create a poem that has meaning. Eliot might have believed free verse allowed for the unconscious to take over as the poet concentrates on form, but a poet who truly uses fixed verse must be able to master the language and the art.  Of the fixed verse forms, I think maybe the villanelle might be the easiest only because it does not follow a specific meter, which is a lesson for another week.


Sometimes…

  
Sometimes, there just isn’t much to say. Today is one of those days. Part of the reason is because I had a headache all day yesterday, and it just hurt to think. As I said in my post Saturday, I did not get the job that I’d gone in for a second interview for on Friday. It was not particularly a job I wanted, but it would have been a job that would have paid benefits. Turns out that one of the positions I’d interviewed for the week before had actually been hired before interviews were conducted. I’m pretty sure that’s how Friday’s interview was also. The whole process was for show, and it pisses me off that my time was wasted. Sadly, that’s how some things work. So I’m even more thankful that I didn’t get the job after the massive four hours wasted of my time on Friday. Yes, I did say four hours for this second “interview.” It’s a long story and one that pisses me off too much to retell.

I’d much prefer the job I am interviewing for tomorrow though. I have no idea what it pays, though because it is full-time with a fairly significant organization, I am assuming that it will have benefits. I do know what it will have to pay for me to be able to accept the job, but I will have to wait and see how the interview goes. The job would basically be to do what I’m currently doing in my volunteer job, but I’d be getting paid for it.

Here’s a quote that a friend of mine sent me. It’s one I’m trying to remember:

“All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them.” – Walt Disney

So that’s about it for now.


Being and Doing

  

“Enter by the narrow gate. For the gate is wide and the way is easy that leads to destruction, and those who enter by it are many. For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few.” – Matthew 7:13-14

I’ve always loved this passage of the Bible from the Sermon on the Mount. Just before it, we have the Golden Rule, “”So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets.” (Matthew 7:12). I’ve always believed that the Golden Rule is the basic belief of Christianity summed up in one verse, but the verses that follow it explains what it’s like to be a Christian. We have two paths we can follow in life, the popular path, which is through the wide gate, or the less popular path, which is through the narrow gate.

Anyone who has ever been a social outcast, those of us who walk to the beat of our own drum, we are going through the narrow gate. Gay Christians always choose the narrow gate. We are usually not only unpopular with other Christians but also unpopular in the LGBT community. For many people who claim to be Christians, they take the easier path and condemn homosexuality but ignore many of the passages surrounding the clobber passages they throw at us. Also, many in the LGBT community turn away from God. They see God as allowing their persecution by people who claim to follow Him. Neither is anymore right or wrong than the other, but both are equally wrong. It puts gay Christians in a very unpopular position, and one that causes many struggles.

While we may not be accepted easily by either group, we must continue our faith. Jesus tells us that as Christians we cannot look for shortcuts to God. He tells us that the market is flooded with surefire, easygoing formulas for a successful life that can be practiced in your spare time, but we can’t fall for the the easy way out, even though crowds of people do. We cannot change our sexual orientation as Christians claim we can, nor can we turn away from God as many in the LGBT community do. The way to a fulfilled life and to God is vigorous and requires total attention.

So many people fall under the spell of religious leaders who preach hate, but we must be wary of these false preachers who smile a lot, dripping with practiced sincerity. Chances are they are out to rip you off some way or other. Don’t be impressed with charisma; look for character. Who preachers are is the main thing, not what they say. A genuine leader will never exploit your emotions or your pocketbook. They will promise salvation of you follow their teachings but it is their teachings, not those of God.

To give an example of this, the increasingly predictable Pat Robertson recently said that he has no time for Christians who are accepting of the LGBT community. The right-wing televangelist, who has been outspoken in regard to his deep opposition to LGBT rights, warned a “700 Club” viewer to “stay far away” from a church with an openly gay pastor. He followed this with his version of quotes from the Bible. Earlier this year, he told a concerned mother to “pray that God will straighten out” her teenage lesbian daughter, who had recently come out of the closet. Instead of preaching love and inclusiveness, Robertson takes the path of the wide gate and preaches fear and hatred.

We can’t just say “Lord, Lord” and expect that we can look pious and then it will be seen as thus, but we must practice the life Jesus spelled out for us. What is required is serious obedience to God. In Matthew 7:21-23 Jesus says:

“Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. On that day many will say to me, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many mighty works in your name?’ And then will I declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from me, you workers of lawlessness.’” 

Just because someone speaks the Word of God does not mean he follows the Word of God. What you speak must be on a good foundation, something preachers like Robertson lack. The Words of God are foundational words, words to build our life on. If we work these words into our life, then we build upon a firm foundation and it will withstand the pressures from the outside world. But for those who just use His words in Bible studies and don’t work them into their life, you are like the man who built his house on the sandy beach, then when a storm rolled in and the waves came up, it collapsed like a house of cards. Robertson and those like him build their ministries on the poor foundation of fear and hatred.

I have always followed my own path, and I have usually been excluded from the popular crowd. Instead of partying in high school and college, I studied and made good grades. It allowed me to get a fantastic education. Grant it, I’m currently without a job, but that is a temporary setback. When we are on the narrow path, sometimes it takes us a while to get through the more narrow gates, but we will and we will be better for it in the end. Good things will happen in my life if I just persevere, and as a Christian, good thing will happen in the next life because I kept the faith, followed God’s Word, and didn’t take the wide and popular path.


Moment of Zen: Abs

  
Sexy abs are something I will never have, but the sure are fun to look at, especially when you get that little glimpse when a guy raises his arms and his shirt lifts up or when he scratches his belly and you get a little skin. It’s even sexier to me when there’s a little bit of a treasure trail.
PS: I did not get the job yesterday. Long story, and long day. Major waste of time. On to the next interview Tuesday, this time for a job I actually want.


Job Interviews

image

 

I think job interviews are one of the torture devices of life, but it’s something we all have to go through. I guess if you are just independently wealthy, start your own business, or go into the family business, then you don’t, but that’s not the majority of us. Too bad I don’t have telepathic powers. Then I could read their minds and know exactly what to say and do. Or better yet they should just naturally see my awesomeness. Oh well, my charm and intelligence will just have to shine through.

Sorry for the short post but I needed to get to bed early.


A Better Mood

image

 

One of the strange things about depression is that you can have a very down day where nothing really makes you happy, though the love and support of friends can greatly improve your mood; then there are days when you are very happy and things seem to just go right. Yesterday was one of those latter days. First of all, I found one of the rarest of gems: a job where I not only fit the minimum qualifications but also the preferred qualifications. The job is in a very liberal part of the country and is at an august institution of higher learning, but not one so prestigious that they would not look at someone like me who went to state colleges. Anyway, it would be a job that I think I would really enjoy.

Second, I have another interview with a local museum set for Tuesday afternoon. I’m not sure what they plan to pay, but I know what I am willing to accept for pay, especially if given an offer by the school board for my second interview with them on Friday. It’s also a job that I am much more qualified for, even if it’s a minor position at the museum, it would mean real full-time experience in a museum setting. So things are looking up, which is nice for a change.

Now this time next week, all the possibilities could turn to disappointment, but for now I’m holding out hope, something that I have been fighting to keep for the past few weeks. So even though Tuesday was doom and gloom, with the help of friends who lifted my spirits and some positive responses from job applications, I’m feeling better.

Also, since I was in a good mood, I cooked a pretty fantastic supper. I cooked a peppercorn marinated pork tenderloin wrapped in bacon. Forty-five minutes at 425 degrees and it came out perfectly. I also made Brussels sprouts and julianned potatoes. And while some may turn up your nose at Brussels sprouts, you’ve never had mine. I took frozen Brussels sprouts and added butter, the drippings from the tenderloin, a heaping tablespoon of light Alfredo sauce, and cracked black pepper, which I then brought to a boil over medium heat for just a few minutes. The usual bitterness that is associated with Brussels sprouts was no longer their with this method, and they were simply delicious. Of course, one can never go wrong with julianned potatoes. Cheese and potatoes, what’s not to like. So supper was delicious. Cooking a great meal always makes me feel better.