Post-Thanksgiving Review 

  
I had a wonderful Thanksgiving at my coworker’s. This was my first Thanksgiving ever without my family, but it was still a nice Thanksgiving. We had a nice southern style Thanksgiving, since my coworker and her husband are also southerners. There was so much food for just the four of us, but that’s how southerners are, we always cook too much. We can’t handle the idea that there might not be enough, so we make sure to make extra. For my part I took a corn casserole and a sweet potato soufflé. I always love the corn casserole, and the sweet potato soufflé was good but a tad bit too sweet. It wasn’t until I got home that I realize why it was so sweet. I’d forgotten to add the cream to it. I’m a pretty good cook, but that’s not the first time I’ve accidentally left out an ingredient. Thankfully this time wasn’t disastrous, like the time I made a blackberry cobbler and forgot to add the leavening agent. It was so rubbery and hard you could have patched a tore with it. The sweet potato soufflé would have still been sweet but the cream should have cut down a little on the sweetness. It was still good, in fact, all of the food was delicious. My coworker went out of her way to make a traditional southern Thanksgiving for my first one away from family.

I think the highlight of my day was my coworker’s son. He’s only six, but he was so excited to have a guest. I think her son just thinks I’m the greatest thing. He’s so cute. At one point he just curled up next to me on the couch and he insisted that I sit next to him at dinner. He has lots of energy, just like my niece does. Also, like my niece he has ADHD, which he takes medicine for. I’ve known a lot of people with ADHD. My best friend has ADHD. He always tells me about his little rabbit brain that jumps from topic to topic. I always love to talk with him because we can go from conversation to conversation so easily (I have a bit of a rabbit brain too). He gets embarrassed by his ADHD, and I understand. He was diagnosed very late in his college years, but he still managed to be very successful. He’s an amazing guy, but I’m a bit off track.

My coworker’s son is just a bundle of energy, but he is the sweetest kid. He went outside and took a picture of their house and had his mom text it to me so that I’d know where I was supposed to go. Then he sat by the window waiting for me to arrive. He was very excited. One thing I’ve learned from ADHD kids, from my niece to my friend to former students, is that when they have a difficult time with something they get impatient and thus frustrated. My coworker and I were watching her son try do something, and it took him several tries to do it. My coworker said that he was about to get very mad, but I watched and I could tell he was really trying to be good today while I was there. I could tell that he was doing his best to keep himself under control, which shows just what a good kid he really is. It was very sweet. I know he was struggling to keep control, but he did because he wanted to do his best to make a good impression.

I was amazed at how well he did, but one thing I’ve noticed with most people with ADHD is that they are very smart. Not all of them realize it because they have a hard time concentrating on one thing at a time. They have so much energy and their brain is going in so many different directions. I have to say though, in everyone I have known with ADHD, a little patience is what they really need, and those who don’t have ADHD need a lot of energy. If you’ve ever known someone with ADHD, you know how loving and good-hearted they are. That might not be true of all people who are ADHD, but it is true of all the ones I’ve known.

I think that the most important lesson I’ve learned in life is to have patience and to trust in God. Those two things go hand in hand. Sometimes, there just isn’t any need to be in a hurry. Just because I’ve learned to be patient doesn’t mean that I always am. A little patience goes a long way, and you never know how much you can affect someone’s life by just being patient with them. So here’s my lesson for the day: when you know someone who is ADHD, be patient. Too many people think that ADHD is really just someone being bad, but what’s really the problem is that people aren’t patient when they need to be. Also, it sometimes has to do with the fact that we don’t show enough love when it’s really needed and sometimes being patient is the best way to show love.

  

About Joe

I began my life in the South and for five years lived as a closeted teacher, but am now making a new life for myself as an oral historian in New England. I think my life will work out the way it was always meant to be. That doesn't mean there won't be ups and downs; that's all part of life. It means I just have to be patient. I feel like October 7, 2015 is my new birthday. It's a beginning filled with great hope. It's a second chance to live my life…not anyone else's. My profile picture is "David and Me," 2001 painting by artist Steve Walker. It happens to be one of my favorite modern gay art pieces. View all posts by Joe

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