Post Valentine Post

  

I may be a hopeless romantic because I still love Valentine’s Day. Last year, I had a wonderful man in my life, but that ended when I moved over 1300 miles away. So this year, I spent Valentine’s Day alone. I’d planned on not being lonely the whole day, because I was going to brave the sub-zero temperatures and go to church. It didn’t happen like I’d expected because I woke with one of my damn headache. So I stayed in and watched season 5 of Game of Thrones.

With the exception of last year, Valentine’s Day has always been a dud of a day for me. The first girl I ever “dated” (if you can call just hanging out at school and claiming to be going steady) back as a young kid of maybe 12 broke up with me the day before Valentine’s Day. This was particularly horrific since the school had been selling carnations to give to those you “love” and I’d bought her one. They delivered it to me to give to her and my teacher encouraged me to go give it to her, not knowing we’d “broken up.” She was in the grade below me, so I had little choice as a shy kid who wasn’t about to tell a teacher no, but to go knock on the door of her classroom and gove her the carnation. I was so embarrassed. I should have told my teacher that we were no longer dating and just kept the carnation to give to my mother.

I was never dating but three people when Valentine’s came around. My first “girlfriend,” my last girlfriend, and my boyfriend last year. Last year was a lovely day spent together. With my last girlfriend, by Valentine’s I’d already decided that I no longer wanted to pretend and date girls, but she was still a good friend so we kept seeing each other for another month or so. On that Valentine’s, we had a nighttime picnic overlooking a lake. It was a nice Valentine’s.

This year, I tried not to think too much about it being Valentine’s Day. I didn’t get a single Valentine’s Day card from anyone. Usually, at least my mother sends me one, but if she did, it did not arrive before Valentine’s Day. I did get a couple of lovely messages from friends, and an email or two saying Happy Valentine’s Day.

How was your Valentine’s Day? Were you with someone you love? I hope you all were.

About Joe

I began my life in the South and for five years lived as a closeted teacher, but am now making a new life for myself as an oral historian in New England. I think my life will work out the way it was always meant to be. That doesn't mean there won't be ups and downs; that's all part of life. It means I just have to be patient. I feel like October 7, 2015 is my new birthday. It's a beginning filled with great hope. It's a second chance to live my life…not anyone else's. My profile picture is "David and Me," 2001 painting by artist Steve Walker. It happens to be one of my favorite modern gay art pieces. View all posts by Joe

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