Monthly Archives: April 2016

Idiossippi

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From 2000 to 2009, I lived in Mississippi. It was where I first came out. Other than Vermont, it is the only place I felt I could live openly as a gay man. I felt safe and welcomed in Mississippi. In those years, Ronnie Musgrove, a Democrat, and Haley Barbour, a Republican, were governor. I do not believe Musgrove would have signed House Bill 1523. I think Barbour had more sense than to do so. Barbour was a decent Republican and seemed to be a decent man. HB-1523 allows government employees and private businesses to cite religious beliefs to deny services to same-sex couples who want to marry. Those governors would not have stated on twitter like Phil Bryant did that HB-1523, “merely reinforces the rights which currently exist to the exercise of religious freedom as stated in the First Amendment to the U.S. Constitution.”

In 2000, Musgrove did sign a bill into law banning same-sex couples from adopting children, making Mississippi only the third state to have done so. The law also said that Mississippi will not recognize adoptions from other states by same-sex couples. It was a different political climate then. Much of the country supported such legislation though it doesn’t make it right. Much like the Clintons, his views have evolved and changed. In 2013, Musgrove wrote an opinion editorial in The Huffington Post expressing his support for both same-sex marriage and same-sex adoption. 

Barbour may not have been a friend of LGBT, but he did not do anything to harm them in Mississippi. He had other more pressing issues to deal with such as Hurricane Katrina. I honestly don’t know what Mississippi would have done without him in the aftermath of such a massive natural disaster. We were forgotten by the media in favor of New Orleans, a much bigger story in their eyes. They neglected towns that were wiped off the face of the earth due to the hurricane. Barbour did not. However, I digress. Barbour was a consummate politician, and he would have seen the problems that a bill like House Bill 1523 would cause.

Phil Bryant isn’t smart enough to understand the ramifications. Bryant has never been smart enough; he is just a well-known Republican in a state much like Alabama that will elect anything that is Republican. Bryant is an enemy of the people of Mississippi and they don’t even realize it. Bryant should be ashamed, but he is far too stupid to feel shame. He was a terrible state Auditor, a terrible legislator, a terrible Lt. Governor, and an awful Governor. I am ashamed that he and I graduated from the same university. 

I have to add this about my feelings toward Mississippi. I lived in South Mississippi. South Mississippi and the Gulf Coast have always been more liberal than much of the rest of the state. For many years after Republicans had won much of the South and the state of Mississippi, they still elected a Democrat to Congress. Sadly that ended when Republicans gained the majority in the House. South Mississippi though was a liberal place in a state not known for its liberal leanings. Of course there were those who were staunchly conservative, but the second largest university in Mississippi was the main education institution in South Mississippi, and the University of Southern Mississippi remains a bastion of liberalism, even if it occasionally produces jackasses like Phil Bryant.

Personally, I think that President Obama should cancel any federal contracts in states that put out these types of bills and begin the closure of military bases in those states. Do you realize what would happen to the economy of Mississippi if they closed Camp Shelby, Keesler AFB, or Stennis Space Center, (two of seven, as Stennis isn’t technically a military base) not to mention what would happen in North Carolina if Fort Braggs (one of ten military bases) were to be closed? Mississippi companies such as Ingalls Shipbuilding or Northrop Grumman Ship Systems should also lose government contracts for remaining in Mississippi. Big business can make a major impact on these bills. When Arkansas attempted a similar bill, Wal-Mart flexed its muscles and the bill was defeated. We need more companies and our own federal government to act and stop these violations of our civil rights. Furthermore, all state governments should follow New York and Vermont and Washington in canceling any state travel to states with such laws. While I know not all of that is within Obama’s executive power, much of it can be controlled by the Department of Defense and other government agencies.

 

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On a different note, NPR’s All Things Considered did a tribute to Merle Haggard yesterday, who died on his 79th birthday. I always liked Merle Haggard’s songs such as “Okie from Muskogee.” The NPR tribute was very sweet at the end when they said:

Haggard wrote the foreword to his biography, an early summation of the ingredients of his life and his music. He read it himself for the audio book version: 

“I’ve lived through 17 stays in penal institutions. Incarceration in a penitentiary. Five marriages, bankruptcy, a broken back, brawls, shooting incidents, swindlings, sickness, the death of loved ones and more. I’ve heard tens of thousands chant my name when I couldn’t hear the voice of my own soul. I wondered if God was listening and I was sure no one else was.”

With Haggard’s death, perhaps he will finally learn that God was indeed listening and was actually a fan.

When I heard the words, “perhaps he will finally learn that God was indeed listening and was actually a fan,” I began to cry. I couldn’t help myself. Maybe it was because Tuesday, I had talked about the three E’s in my life that are no longer with me, and I was already thinking of heaven, but that final line just broke my heart. Luckily, I wasn’t driving and was sitting in my car to hear the end of the story, because my eyes welled up with tears and I just sat there and wept.


Headache 

  

I ended up going to bed last night just past 7pm. About 4pm yesterday, I was suddenly struck by a massive headache that quickly built in intensity. I’m not sure what caused it, but I suspect that I’d eaten something with lots of MSG in it and didn’t realize it. This wasn’t one of my cluster headaches but a full blown migraine. The cluster headaches are more of a nuisance nowadays than a major pain. The medicine I am on for them keeps the intensity of them mostly to a low roar, but I still have migraines occasionally and last night was one of those. Even though my migraines are quite rare these days, I do still have some of my old migraine medicine. I took that medicine, but the problem with my migraines is that they always cause a tension headache as well and those can be as bad as the migraine and more difficult to get rid of. Usually sleep is all that helps. In this case sleep did help. Now I pray that I will be headache free for the next two days, which will be very busy days at work.


To E

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To E
by Sara Teasdale

The door was opened and I saw you there
And for the first time heard you speak my name.
Then like the sun your sweetness overcame
My shy and shadowy mood; I was aware
That joy was hidden in your happy hair,
And that for you love held no hint of shame;
My eyes caught light from yours, within whose flame
Humor and passion have an equal share.

How many times since then have I not seen
Your great eyes widen when you talk of love,
And darken slowly with a fair desire;
How many time since then your soul has been
Clear to my gaze as curving skies above,
Wearing like them a raiment made of fire.

 

I’m not sure who the “E” in Sara Teasdale’s life was, but I know who the five E’s that have been in my own life. Three are no longer of this earth. One I lost back in November, and I mourn the loss of my greatest confidant and friend each and every day. The antidepressants and anti-anxiety medicine that I take keeps away the darkest of thoughts that I still feel, but they only keep them at a distant shadow. The other two were my father’s parents. I lost Grandaddy first nearly fifteen years ago, and Grandmama nearly three years ago. I think of the three of them all the time. Grandmama and my friend E, I think of everyday.  The two of them loved me unconditionally. True unconditional love is a rare thing to every find.

Another E was a great companion and boyfriend who I gave up for a new life and new job. Luckily, we have remained friends, and I still keep in touch with him. The other E is my sweet little Edith, a bobtail calico kitten who I remember looked into my eyes when I went to rescue her from an animal shelter. She is a loyal and sweet friend who I wish was here in Vermont with me, but she is safely living the life of a queen with my aunt.

Five E’s that I love. Five E’s that I miss. Five E’s that I will see again. Three in heaven, two when I return to Alabama.


Sleeping In

  
I’m off work today, so I’m sleeping in. My plan for today is to do nothing.


Gay Devotional II

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I wanted to answer Paul’s comment because I’d already received one email asking essentially the same thing.  So here is “Gay Devotional, Part II).

What is a devotional? In the church I grew up in we didn’t use that term. We had ‘devotions’ which were rites involving scripture and prayer, but surely there is no lack of that on the internet. What makes a devotional gay? The poster or the posting?

When you look up the term “devotional,” you get definitions like “a short religious service” or a “devotional exercise relating to worship.” It doesn’t really explain what a devotional is or why we do them. What most people talk about when they talk about devotionals is a book that helps you grow in your relationship with God. It is usually broken down into daily chapters that you can read and pray about. There are plenty of internet devotionals out there but not that helps the gay Christian grow in their spirituality as a gay Christian. What I think of as a gay devotional is to take a passage or verse from the Bible and extrapolate a meaning that is not only universal as all of the Bible is, but to present it in a way that speaks to gay Christians and our unique situation. I think the gay devotional is made by both the poster and the posting.

Also, what do you mean when you use the term Christianity in this post? There are certainly still gay, self-professed Christians among us. There are even gay, self-professed Christian congregations of various sects. Is your Christianity dependent on community? Were I a hermit who believed and tried to follow Jesus Christ, but had no contact with other Christians, would I not be a part of Christianity as a whole? Is a self-professed Christian deemed not part of Christianity because they fail to be Christ-like? or because they are unchurched? or because they actively and knowingly violate Christ’s command to love one another?

When I use the term Christianity, I mean a person who follows the teachings of Christ and believes in him as our Lord and Savior. The problem that I see is that there are people who call themselves Christians and profess their belief in Jesus as their Lord and Savior but do not follow the message of Jesus. They pick and choose which passages they want to follow, pulling from the Old Testament when and only when it suits their purposes to condemn others. And yes, there are gay professing congregations, the MCC and UCC are just two such congregations. I think that the greatest threat to Christianity is that people fail to act Christ-like (and I am not always saying that I do act Christ-like, I think it is impossible to be so all the time) and that they knowingly violate Christ’s command to love one another. I believe that when hate becomes part of the Christian liturgy then it is no longer Christian.

I always wondered about the passage you quoted where Jesus told the woman to ‘go and sin no more’, if she succeeded in doing so, if Jesus believed it were realistically possible for her to do so, and how each of them felt when she (probably) failed. Isn’t the adultery defense one of the arguments “Christians” use against homosexuality? You can’t have sex because you’re not married and you can’t marry because we say marriage is only between a man and a woman. Ergo, no sex for you, homo. If Jesus were to tell me to avoid this sin henceforth, I don’t know what I’d do, but I’d probably burn for it.

The part where Jesus tells the woman to ‘go and sin no more’ is the hardest part of that passage. Romans 3:23 says “all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” Sin is part of our nature. Sadly we will sin, the question is: will we ask for forgiveness and try not to sin again? The thing about it is that if we really look at the Bible then thinking about sinning is as bad as actually sinning. Can we train our minds not to think about sin? Maybe some would claim we can but I don’t think it’s possible. We all sin, we will all sin, and all we can hope for is for God’s forgiveness of those sins. I think that sex within a loving committed relationship is not a sin, especially now that the loving committed relationship can now be a marriage.


Gay Devotionals 

 

 

While Jesus went to the Mount of Olives. Early in the morning he came again to the temple. All the people came to him and he sat down and began to teach them. The scribes and the Pharisees brought a woman who had been caught in adultery; and making her stand before all of them, they said to him, “Teacher, this woman was caught in the very act of committing adultery. Now in the law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?” They said this to test him, so that they might have some charge to bring against him. Jesus bent down and wrote with his finger on the ground. When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “Let anyone among you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.” And once again he bent down and wrote on the ground. When they heard it, they went away, one by one, beginning with the elders; and Jesus was left alone with the woman standing before him. Jesus straightened up and said to her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?” She said, “No one, sir.” And Jesus said, “Neither do I condemn you. Go your way, and from now on do not sin again.”–John 8:1-11

 

Have you tried lately to find a good gay-affirming devotional on the Internet? Used to, I had a number of sources I could go to for inspiration, but lately, they are harder and harder to find. Some of the sources that I used to use, either no longer have the content they used to or the website is no longer valid. I can think of a few reasons for this:

  1. Have gay people strayed so far from Christianity that no one wants to minister to them?
  2. Have churches become more welcoming and therefore there is no longer a need for Internet devotionals?
  3. Do gay Christians just not care enough anymore to put out devotionals?
  4. Are there resources out there that Google just can’t find?

I do think a lot of gay people have turned their backs on Christianity. Many “Christians” have certainly turned their backs on gay people. Is that an excuse? No, it isn’t. We must not give up on Christinity. God doesn’t give up on us. He loves us and wants us to love him. Just because many fundamentalist Christians have turned their backs on gay people and see no place for gay people within the church does not mean that God feels the same way.

In Vermont, there are no gay bars. The explanation I have found is that all bars are welcoming to gay and straight and therefore there is no need for separate bars for gay people. There are many churches here that are the same way. They don’t make one’s sexuality an issue when welcoming people into their churches. Quite simply, they welcome everyone. Is this true of the country as a whole? No, it isn’t. There are still many churches that if you are gay you will be asked not to come back.

That brings me to whether or not gay Christians care enough anymore to put out devotionals. I think since DADT ended and gay marriage and adoption became legal, we have become relaxed in our fight for equality. Churches are the last place in America where equality exists. Few churches are fully integrated racially, and they certainly aren’t integrated when it comes to sexuality and gender. Some churches are becoming better about gender equality and many of those are more integrated with different sexualities. Some of those churches claim to be gay affirming now, but honestly, when it comes down to it, they aren’t. We have become too relaxed in our fight for equality and we need to keep fighting to be included in our churches.

I hope there are sources for gay devotionals that I just couldn’t find. If anyone knows of any, please let me know in the comments. I love being able to take a devotional and allow it to inspire me for a post.

You may be wondering about the Bible passage above and what it means to this post. Well, the fact is whether other people who call themselves Christians may condemn us for being gay, they forget Jesus said, “Let anyone among you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.” None of us are without sin and therefore none of us can cast the first stone. There is but one judge and that judge is God, for He alone is without sin.


Moment of Zen: Cup o’ Joe

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Heavens to Murgatroyd!

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Does anyone remember the cartoon character Snagglepuss? Snagglepuss is a character created by Hanna-Barbera in 1959. He’s best known for his famous catchphrase, “Heavens to Murgatroyd!”, along with phrases such as “Exit, stage left!” (or stage right, and sometimes even up or down), a phrase used in theatrical stage directions. Finally, Snagglepuss tends to add the word “even” to the end of his statements.

He first appeared in several episodes of The Quick Draw McGraw Show and became a regular segment on The Yogi Bear Show. Daws Butler based the character’s voice on Bert Lahr’s Cowardly Lion in The Wizard of Oz, which at one point caused some confusion to the point where Mr. Lahr threatened legal action against Hanna-Barbera and Kellogg’s. To resolve the matter, it was decided to include the on-screen message “Voice of Snagglepuss–Daws Butler” during the commercial segments.

I remember Snagglepuss mostly from his appearance on Scooby’s All-Star Laff-a-Lympics in 1977 and 1978. Of course all of these were seen in reruns, as I was born in 1977, but I was always a big fan of Hanna-Barbera cartoons, especially Scooby-Doo. My love for Scooby-Doo probably is the reason I still love to read mysteries.

The thing about Snagglepuss is that he was an effeminate, pinkish lavender lion who many have assumed was gay over the years. While gay-pride and gay-rights activists and folklorists will like to use Snagglepuss as a gay icon because of his pinkish lavender fur color, his lisping speech and his fondness for the theatrical, Joe Barbera was once quoted as denying the likelihood, insisting that the character (and voice) were modeled on Bert Lahr (adding that Lahr “once beat up on his wife!” which I guess was supposed to make Lahr more manly, but seems cruel and silly to me). Too, there were at least two episodes involving a would-be girlfriend, Lyla, who rejected Snagglepuss as too boorish. Haven’t we all (gay men, that is) though had “a would-be girlfriend” to hide our sexuality.

On a Season 34: Episode 8 “Weekend Update” segment on Saturday Night Live (November 15, 2008), Bobby Moynihan appears in costume as Snagglepuss to comment on California’s ban on gay marriage. During the segment Snagglepuss is outed by anchor Seth Meyers and then confesses that his domestic partner is fellow Hanna-Barbera cartoon character The Great Gazoo, who also makes a cameo.