I have another doctor’s appointment today. This time it is with a neurologist. It’s been many years since I’ve seen a neurologist. I’ve had tests run for my cluster headaches, but nothing ever came of them. Over the course of my life, I have been to many doctors and many specialists for my headaches, none of them have offered relief. The only relief I’ve ever gotten is with the medicine that my old doctor prescribed to help prevent the cluster cycles. While it greatly lessens the intensity of the cluster headaches, they haven’t completely gone away. There is still rarely a moment when I don’t have a headache. Luckily, they are no longer debilitating, but they are manageable. I wish I could be headache free, but I’ve come to the point that I doubt it will ever happen. At this point it seems to be more about managing the pain, which I’ve mostly learned to do, and not to concentrate on ending the pain, which I’m not sure is possible at this point. I’ve suffered with them for so long, I don’t know how I’d deal with being pain free.

I’m sure the headaches are also spurred on by my depression. I’m still waiting on a referral to a therapist. I’ve resigned to go, but I’m not thrilled about it. The last experience with therapy was not good, but maybe I can find one that will help.

About Joe

I began my life in the South and for five years lived as a closeted teacher, but am now making a new life for myself as an oral historian in New England. I think my life will work out the way it was always meant to be. That doesn't mean there won't be ups and downs; that's all part of life. It means I just have to be patient. I feel like October 7, 2015 is my new birthday. It's a beginning filled with great hope. It's a second chance to live my life…not anyone else's. My profile picture is "David and Me," 2001 painting by artist Steve Walker. It happens to be one of my favorite modern gay art pieces. View all posts by Joe

2 responses to “Neurologist 

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