Emotional Day

Yesterday was an emotional day for me. I woke up once again with more head and neck pain. My neurologist sent me a message asking, “How are you doing? Has the pain improved?” I messaged her back to tell her that I had seen improvement through much of Saturday, but the pain began to return by Saturday evening and has continued to worsen since then. She ordered an MRI, which I will have done next week. I pray that if they find something, it won’t be anything terrible. Honestly, it scares me that they are having such a difficult time controlling this headache. The pain of the last week and a half has caused me to be depressed. I have had headaches worse than this years ago, but I have never had one that was this intense for this long. I went years with a constant headache, but it came in waves. While I was never without pain during those years, I had days when the pain was not all encompassing, followed by periods of debilitating pain. This current headache has been close to being debilitating all the time. It has hindered my ability to concentrate. So, the pain is making me very emotional.

Also, I watched the impeachment trial. The video that the House managers played was very disturbing and upsetting. I cannot see how anyone could not be moved by it. I believe that the video’s editing could have been better because I think it would have been more effective with time stamps throughout, as much as possible, to show a better timeline of events. That aside, I think it was very effective. On MSNBC, Claire McCaskill reported that friends of hers in the Senate chamber saw some of the Republican Senators (Rubio, Cruz, Cotton, and others) refusing to watch the video and busied themselves with papers on their desks. She also said that some Democratic Senators turned away because they could not watch the videos and relive that day all over again. It was a brutal video to watch, but I think that no matter what political party you belong to, you should be paying close attention during the trial. Seeing Rep. Jamie Raskin choke up talking about his family being in the Capitol that day was also difficult to watch. It’s upsetting that it is unlikely that enough Republicans will vote to convict the former president of inciting an insurrection, but I know that most Republicans want to put their heads in the sand and ignore what happened. The former president’s lawyers made rambling and ridiculous arguments that contradicted each other. Nothing they said was convincing or based on reality. Castor did admit that the former president lost the election, but that’s been clear to most of us for months. Schoen just looked like a raging nutcase, but considering his client list, I expected no less.

Hopefully, today will be a more mentally stable day for me today, and there will be less pain physically.

About Joe

I began my life in the South and for five years lived as a closeted teacher, but am now making a new life for myself as an oral historian in New England. I think my life will work out the way it was always meant to be. That doesn't mean there won't be ups and downs; that's all part of life. It means I just have to be patient. I feel like October 7, 2015 is my new birthday. It's a beginning filled with great hope. It's a second chance to live my life…not anyone else's. My profile picture is "David and Me," 2001 painting by artist Steve Walker. It happens to be one of my favorite modern gay art pieces. View all posts by Joe

4 responses to “Emotional Day

  • Beau

    Hope that they find out what is happening and can treat it soon.

  • Steve Davis

    “Joe,”
    Thinking of you as you continue to struggle with these headaches. I pray the MRI offers some more conclusive information so remedies become available.

    Like you, we had the tv on all day to watch the impeachment trial proceedings and remained disheartened by the lack of response and blatant indifference and disregard of Senate Republicans. Maddening that this is our America! It’s easy to understand so many Black and Brown friends who say this is the America they’ve seen for centuries. Even the attacks in which they were witnesses and victims is not enough to get justice. We need 17 Republicans with integrity. Good luck! You have a far better chance of being completely cured of your headaches!

    Your friend,
    Steve

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