
Monthly Archives: April 2023
In Public

In Public
By John Wieners – 1934-2002
Promise you wont forget
each time we met
we kept our clothes on
despite obvious intentions
to take them off,
seldom kissed or even slept,
talked to spend desire,
worn exhausted from regret.
Continue our relationship apart
under surveillance, torture, persecuted
confinement’s theft; no must or sudden blows
when embodied spirits mingled
despite fall’s knock
we rode the great divide
of falsehood, hunger and last year
About the Poem
Reading this poem, I think we all know what John Wieners is talking about: gay sex in public. When the poem was written in 1968, Wieners had been in and out of psychiatric hospitals. In the 1960s, homosexuality was still illegal and considered a mental illness. Wieners was institutionalized again in 1969, and at least once more in 1972. Massachusetts law justified involuntary hospitalization for those who conducted themselves “in a manner which clearly violates the established laws, ordinances, conventions, or morals of the community.” Gay men became a scapegoat for mental health experimentation. The torture and persecution he alludes to in the poem included insulin coma therapy, electroshock treatment, and the experimental use of barbiturates and sedatives.
Living with his parents in Massachusetts in the later 1960s, Wieners had no access to private property where he could engage in sex. His only recourse was to have sex in public places and try not to get caught. In Michael Rumaker’s memoir of his time in San Francisco with a literary crowd which included Wieners, he makes clear the dangers in 1958–1959:
…the Morals Squad was everywhere, and the entrapment of gay males in the streets, the parks, and in numerous public places was a constant fear and common occurrence. Often the most handsome, hung, desirable-looking cops were used for the plainclothes operations. I often wondered who did the selecting.
While the above passage is about San Francisco, life for gay men was not much different in New York City or Boston in the late 1960s.
About the Poet
John Wieners was born on January 6, 1934, in Milton, Massachusetts. After graduating from Boston College in 1954, Wieners heard Charles Olson give a reading at the Charles Street Meeting House in Boston. Inspired by Olson’s work, Wieners spent a year at Black Mountain College in North Carolina, where he studied with Olson, Robert Creeley, and Robert Duncan.
After the closing of Black Mountain College in 1956, Wieners briefly returned to Boston and founded the small magazine Measure (published from 1957–62) before relocating to San Francisco in 1958. It was there that he published his first book, The Hotel Wentley Poems (Auerhahn Press, 1958). The book became known for its frankness, as it openly addressed homosexuality and drug use, subjects Wieners became known for writing about in his later works as well.
Wieners, who worked at City Lights and became acquainted with poets as diverse as Allen Ginsberg and Frank O’Hara, lived on the periphery of several movements from the 1950s—the Beat Generation, the Black Mountain School, the New York School, and the San Francisco Renaissance—and would be granted cult status in the poetry community.
In 1960, Wieners returned to the East Coast, and for the next few years he spent time in both Boston and New York City, where he shared an apartment with Beat poet Herbert Huncke and managed and acted in the production of three of his plays at the Judson Poets Theater. At the invitation of Olson, then the Chair of Poetics at SUNY Buffalo, Wieners enrolled in the school’s graduate program before eventually returning to Boston.
In the 1970s, Wieners continued to write, despite periods of institutionalization. Throughout his life, Wieners was in and out of institutions due to his drug abuse. His 1969 collection, Asylum Poems (Angel Hair Books), was written while he was in an institution. Wieners lived and wrote in Boston’s Beacon Hill for over thirty years, until his death on March 1, 2002.
Monday Morning

I really just want to go back to bed. I woke this morning with a migraine. I had to get up and feed Isabella, but I slept about an hour later than I usually do. Thankfully, I am working from home today, so while I can’t really go back to bed (I do have some work to actually do), but I can at least enjoy the comfort of home.
The Wonders of Nature
“For you shall go out with joy, and be led out with peace; the mountains and the hills shall break forth into singing before you, and all the trees of the field shall clap their hands.”
—Isaiah 55:12
hat a wonderful image, especially as I sit here in the midst of the Green Mountains! I can almost hear the mountains singing to me. As it continues to warm up, I hope to do some hiking in those hills and let the beauty of nature sing to me. Maybe it’s just me, but I am reminded of Julie Andrew’s voice when I read Isaiah 55:12. We probably all know the opening song to The Sound of Music:
The hills are alive
With the sound of music
With songs they have sung
For a thousand years
The hills fill my heart
With the sound of music
Spring is here, and the grass is turning green again. There is a renewal in the air. Whether it is the soft white stillness of newly fallen snow, the colors of the autumn leaves, or the bright sunshine of summer, each season has its beauty. Ecclesiastes 3:1 tells us, “To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven.” Jesus tells us in Matthew 6:28-29 to “Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin; and yet I say to you that even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these.”
Psalm 8:3-4 reminds us about God’s creation of this beautiful universe, “When I consider Your heavens, the work of Your fingers, the moon and the stars, which You have ordained, what is man that You are mindful of him, and the son of man that You visit him?” The Bible says that natural beauty is a gift from God. He created everything in the universe, and His handiwork is perfect. When we look at nature, we can see the remnants of His power and glory. Psalm 19:1 tells us, “The heavens declare the glory of God; and the expanse of heaven shows His handiwork.” This means that even the stars and planets are declaring how amazing our Creator is! Nature truly is a remarkable thing. In Ecclesiastes 3:11, we are told, “He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also He has put eternity in their hearts, except that no one can find out the work that God does from beginning to end.” This suggests that when we see things like sunsets or waterfalls, we are getting a glimpse of something much bigger than ourselves.
There are many ways that Christians can cultivate the worship of God through nature. One way is to spend time outside in nature, soaking in the wonder of creation and letting it fill us with praise for our Creator. Another way is to find ways to connect what we see in nature with our faith journey, using it as a lens through which to see God more clearly. Additionally, we can use nature as a tool for teaching others about who God is and how much He loves us. Ultimately, whenever we interact with nature, we have an opportunity to draw closer to God and worship Him more fully.
Moment of Zen: Beaches

It’s been a years since I’ve been to the beach.


By the way, all of the images are of Ed Speleers, who was most recently a major character on Star Trek: Picard’s final season (below). The season was great, and Speleers is always nice to look at. You might remember him from Downton Abbey. On that show, his character wasn’t the most likable, but just like he did Barrows, you couldn’t help but notice how good looking he is.

Friday

Today couldn’t come soon enough. This week has been better than last week, mainly because I didn’t have a terrible migraine all week, just last night. I’m just ready for the weekend so I can just relax.













