Monthly Archives: June 2023

June 25, 2023

Secret Place

By Joe

He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.

—Psalm 91:1

Many of the newer translations of this passage use the word “shelter” instead of “secret place.” However, I think the King James Version (or in the case above the New King James Version [NKJV]) has a better translation because one need not limit the noun to merely a shelter (Hebrew, “cether”) as a structural entity. “Cether” can suggest construction of a physical nature, here it leans more toward a meaning akin to circumstances of secrecy, safe keeping, or protection. When dwelling in the secret place of God’s providence, faithful believers purposefully invest their trust in the One who promises to be the steward of their ultimate good in all things. 

I did a deeper dive into the word “secret place” or “shelter” for a reason. LGBTQ+ people spend part of their life in the closet. In a heteronormative world, we are seen as different which causes us to hide that part of ourselves until we feel comfortable to come out. You could say, “we dwell in a secret place.” I think Psalm 91 has a special meaning for LGBTQ+ Christians. The psalm is titled in the NKJV as, “Safety of Abiding in the Presence of God.”

Here I want to give you the whole of Psalm 91 (don’t worry, I won’t do a deep dive into all 16 verses):

He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High
Shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.
I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress;
My God, in Him I will trust.”

Surely He shall deliver you from the snare of the fowler
And from the perilous pestilence.
He shall cover you with His feathers,
And under His wings you shall take refuge;
His truth shall be your shield and buckler.
You shall not be afraid of the terror by night,
Nor of the arrow that flies by day,
Nor of the pestilence that walks in darkness,
Nor of the destruction that lays waste at noonday.

A thousand may fall at your side,
And ten thousand at your right hand;
But it shall not come near you.
Only with your eyes shall you look,
And see the reward of the wicked.

Because you have made the Lord, who is my refuge,
Even the Most High, your dwelling place,
No evil shall befall you,
Nor shall any plague come near your dwelling;
For He shall give His angels charge over you,
To keep you in all your ways.
In their hands they shall bear you up,
Lest you dash your foot against a stone.
You shall tread upon the lion and the cobra,
The young lion and the serpent you shall trample underfoot.

“Because he has set his love upon Me, therefore I will deliver him;
I will set him on high, because he has known My name.
He shall call upon Me, and I will answer him;
I will be with him in trouble;
I will deliver him and honor him.
With long life I will satisfy him,
And show him My salvation.”

Some people would see the “closet” as living a lie, but it is our “secret place” where we dwell in the shadow of God. We are closeted because we are scared and want to be safe. Some people can’t come out because it is dangerous for them. They are abandoned and disowned by their families and are forced to live in the streets, or they are forced to go through some type of religious therapy to make them straight. For many of us, coming out of the closet is a fear that we cannot confront, and we are constantly in fear that we will be found out. 

For many LGBTQ+ Christians who were raised in a conservative Christian environment, it is a struggle to accept ourselves in the face of those who tell us we are unnatural or an abomination. The fear of an eternity in Hell scares us, and we struggle with admitting that we are the way God made us. I have always said that “Christians” who preach hate are not Christians. They are people who use their religion as a way to discriminate and oppress others. If they believed in a universally loving God, then there would be no reason to have to come out and there would be no hate. Universal love and acceptance are a utopian world that we sadly do not live in. However, we live in a society (especially in non-authoritarian countries), where we can fight for that acceptance. It is a constant struggle, but it is a struggle where we “abide under the shadow of the Almighty.”

Psalm 91 tells us that we are safe under God’s shadow. I’ll be honest, I am at odds with my understanding of how God is in our daily lives. When I see good people suffer or die, especially “before their time,” it is hard for me to understand how God can let this happen. I don’t think it’s a question that I or anyone else can answer. However, I know we can take comfort in God’s love for us. When we are closeted, we do so for our safety, and I think God guides us through that safety net. When it’s our time to come out, if we ever do, I think we do so with God’s blessing, but I think we also can live in the closet with God’s blessing. He loves and protects us, though that protection may just be the comfort we take in our beliefs.

For many, believing in God is a comfort. It is our safety net. Believing that God exists gives me the strength to continue day to day. I look to God for guidance, and I pray that I recognize the signs of His guidance. I also believe that for those “who dwells in the secret place,” in this instance the closet, we do so “under the shadow of the Almighty.” God understands that the circumstances for being able to come out are varied, and everyone has their own struggle with coming out. For some, it is easier than others, but for those who it is not easy for, God will shelter them until the time comes to live outside of that “secret place.” There are two things we must understand, no one should be forced out of the closet, and we need to have understanding for those who remain in the closet. That being said, I have an exception to that rule: I have no pity for closeted people who do harm to the LGBTQ+ community just to hide their own sexuality. That is when someone is living a lie that cannot be tolerated by us or by God.

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June 24, 2023

Pic of the Day

By Joe

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June 24, 2023

Moment of Zen: Sleep

By Joe

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June 23, 2023

Pic of the Day

By Joe

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June 23, 2023

A Century

By Joe

Tomorrow, my grandmama would have been 100 years old. I lost her nearly 10 years ago, and a day never passes that I don’t think about her. I think she was the only person in this world that loved me unconditionally. She taught me a lot of life lessons. One of the many things that she taught me was how to cook. My mother never cared to teach me how to cook. She was only intent on teaching my sister how to cook, who to this day can barely cook a can of soup. My sister did master cornbread, but I doubt anyone could really live on cornbread alone. Anyway, I’m off topic.

Mama tried to teach my sister how to cook so she’d have the “skill” when she got married. My grandmama taught me how to cook because she recognized it was something I loved to do. I can’t remember Grandmama ever using a recipe. She had a box full of them that she’d cut out of magazines or newspapers. The box mostly sat on top of her refrigerator untouched. She cooked by instinct and years of practice. I’ve never known a better cook.

Part of it was the fresh ingredients she grew herself, but another part of it was that she cooked with love. I’m not going to try to be modest here because I’m a damn good cook. I learned to make Grandmama’s recipes from her showing me step by step. I also learned a lot from watching Food Network back when it was about cooking and not food competitions.

If I ever found a man I wanted to marry but he needed convincing, I think if I cooked for him, I’d have a ring on my finger before dessert. When I have cooked for or talked about cooking to non-family members, they all say I’d make a great husband to a lucky man. I think my charm and personality would help, but I’ve yet to find the Mr. Right. Again, I’m off topic.

I miss my Grandmama every day. Whenever I cook, I think of her. For years after she passed away, I’d round the corner in her house or walk through the kitchen and expect her to be there. At first, it made me so sad every time she wasn’t. Eventually, the expectation became less and less, but things remind me of her every day. For example, when I was young, we ate supper with Grandmama and Granddaddy every Wednesday night. She would often cook food she new I loved, but at some point in my life she got convinced that I loved meatloaf. I don’t know where she got that notion from, and I never had the heart to tell her that I hate meatloaf. If I had to eat it, I preferred hers, but it was not a favorite by a long shot. Nowadays, I’ll sometimes make a meatloaf and think of her. I always convince myself that it is something I want, and while, like Grandmama, I can cook a pretty good meatloaf, it also reminds me of how much I dislike meatloaf.

I loved her dearly, and I don’t think I’ll ever stop missing her.

3 Comments | posted in Food, Miscellaneous

June 22, 2023

Listen

By Joe

“The most basic and powerful way to connect to another person is to listen. Just listen. Perhaps the most important thing we ever give each other is our attention…. A loving silence often has far more power to heal and to connect than the most well-intentioned words.”

—Rachel Naomi Remen

Rachel Naomi Remen is a physician and educator. She was trained as a pediatrician but gained fame as an author and teacher of alternative medicine in the form of integrative medicine. In the quote above, she is talking about using empathy and listening to help heal a person. Isn’t that what therapists often do? They don’t tell their patients what they should do, but they listen to the patient and ask the right questions to guide them to realize for themselves what they should do. At least, that’s how I see therapy.

As some of you know, I am an oral historian. I rarely conduct interviews anymore because the primary responsibilities of my job have changed. However, I am often asked to teach others how to conduct oral histories. There are technical aspects, such as recording and digitally archiving, that can be taught to anyone. I teach the protocols of good manners when scheduling and conducting interviews. These are all important lessons that are necessary for conducting a good oral history. However, conducting a great oral history can’t always be taught. The reason is that a person must learn to listen. They need to listen to what the interviewee says, how the interviewee says it, the inflections of the interviewee’s voice, and the body language of the interviewee. This can be achieved through learning to be empathetic and listening with your “third ear.”

The “third ear,” a concept introduced by psychoanalyst Theodor Reik, refers to the practice of listening for the deeper layers of meaning in order to glean what has not been said outright. It means perceiving the emotional underpinnings conveyed when someone is speaking to you. You can’t listen with your third ear if you are speaking and not listening. As Remen said, “A loving silence often has far more power to heal and to connect than the most well-intentioned words.” You might not immediately see why I think this is great advice for an oral historian. After all, it’s used in psychoanalysis, but part of being an oral historian is using the same techniques as a therapist. You have to listen not only to what is spoken but also to what is not spoken. Notice I did not say “what is said” because we can speak in ways other than vocal words.

One of the things we learned, while I was at my retreat to Easton Mountain, was ecstatic dance. Now, I am not a great dancer, but that’s not the point of ecstatic dance. Ecstatic dance is moving in a way your body tells you to move and remove your inhibitions. During ecstatic dance, we were told to not speak vocally but only speak through body language. I guess you can think of it as a form of interpretive dance. You “listen” to the other person’s body language, facial expressions, etc., to understand what they are saying. Now, I will not be teaching ecstatic dance as a way to learn to listen to your third ear, but it would not be the worst way to teach it. 

The most important thing to listening with your third ear is to have empathy. Oral histories are done for two major reasons that are intertwined. First, the oral historian is recording history from the mouths of those who lived it, and second, it is to let the interviewee tell their story. A lot of times, we just need to let our voices be heard, though we may not always know it. The oral historian’s job is to bring out that story in a person. Oral histories can tell us so much about the person and the history that person lived. The emotions and reactions, or lack thereof, can speak as much as the spoken word. Listening with the third ear allows you to read a person and to take clues from their body language and voice that will tell you: Should I continue with this line of questioning? Should I stop this line of questioning? How can I get more of the story? When have you gone too far? Etc. In oral histories, you have to know when to hold back, and that comes from listening with your third ear. If you push too hard at the wrong time, then the interviewee is likely to shut down, and it won’t be you who is silent anymore. It will be the interviewee. By not practicing empathy, you can ruin an interview.

 These are lessons that we can develop in our everyday lives. People who have prejudices do not have empathy. They cannot understand why someone is different from them. They only care that the person falls in line with their beliefs. I often say that the central tenet of Christianity is unconditional love. Those who ignore the command to love do so because they have no empathy for others. They only have hatred. Empathy is so important in our lives. It allows the world to be a better place. So, I challenge you to be more empathetic in your life: to “give each other is our attention” and to offer “a loving silence.” Empathy can help cure the world of many of the ills that humanity often brings with their prejudices.

I could probably write a whole book on the importance of listening, but I’ll stop my ramblings at this point and just say, “Listen.”

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June 21, 2023

Pic of the Day

By Joe

Happy Summer Solstice! ☀️

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June 21, 2023

Migraine

By Joe

I had a migraine all day Monday, but it was tolerable most of the day. However, by the time I went to bed it had begun to intensify. This migraine woke me up several times during the night. When it woke me around 3 am, I wasn’t able to fully fall back to sleep. I eventually got up at 4 am. I ended up calling in sick to work. The slightest amount of light was causing more pain. I kept my blinds closed, but light was still coming in. Eventually, I put on a sleep mask, which seemed to help. I slept most of yesterday. Each time I woke up my migraine seemed better, but that didn’t last long. It was a miserable day. Thankfully, I am feeling better this morning.

6 Comments | posted in Health

June 20, 2023

Pic of the Day

By Joe

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June 20, 2023

Trees

By Joe

Trees
By Joyce Kilmer

I think that I shall never see
A poem lovely as a tree.

A tree whose hungry mouth is prest
Against the earth’s sweet flowing breast;

A tree that looks at God all day,
And lifts her leafy arms to pray;

A tree that may in summer wear
A nest of robins in her hair;

Upon whose bosom snow has lain;
Who intimately lives with rain.

Poems are made by fools like me,
But only God can make a tree.

About the Poem

Joyce Kilmer’s reputation as a poet is staked largely on the widespread popularity of one poem—”Trees” (1913). It was first published in the August 1913 issue of Poetry: A Magazine of Verse which had begun publishing the year before in Chicago, Illinois and was included as the title poem in a collection of poems Trees and Other Poems (1914). According to Kilmer’s oldest son, Kenton, the poem was written on February 2, 1913, when the family resided in Mahwah, New Jersey.

It was written in the afternoon in the intervals of some other writing. The desk was in an upstairs room, by a window looking down a wooded hill. It was written in a little notebook in which his father and mother wrote out copies of several of their poems, and, in most cases, added the date of composition. On one page the first two lines of ‘Trees’ appear, with the date, February 2, 1913, and on another page, further on in the book, is the full text of the poem. It was dedicated to his wife’s mother, Mrs. Henry Mills Alden, who was endeared to all her family.

Many locations including Rutgers University (where Kilmer attended for two years), University of Notre Dame, as well as historians in Mahwah, New Jersey and in other places, have boasted that a specific tree was the inspiration for Kilmer’s poem. However, Kenton Kilmer refutes these claims, remarking that,

Mother and I agreed, when we talked about it, that Dad never meant his poem to apply to one particular tree, or to the trees of any special region. Just any trees or all trees that might be rained on or snowed on, and that would be suitable nesting places for robins. I guess they’d have to have upward-reaching branches, too, for the line about ‘lifting leafy arms to pray.’ Rule out weeping willows.” 

The popular appeal of this simple poem is likely the source of its endurance despite the continuing negative opinion of the poem’s merits from scholars and critics. According to Robert Holliday, Kilmer’s friend and editor, “Trees” speaks “with authentic song to the simplest of hearts” and that “(t)he exquisite title poem now so universally known, made his reputation more than all the rest he had written put together. That impeccable lyric which made for immediate widespread popularity.” Its popularity has also led to parodies of the poem—some by noted poets and writers. The pattern of its first lines (I think that I shall never see / A poem lovely as a tree.) is of seemingly simple rhyme and meter and easy to mimic along with the poem’s choice of metaphors. One of the best-known parodies is “Song of the Open Road” by American humorist and poet Ogden Nash (1902–1971):

I think that I shall never see
A billboard lovely as a tree.
Indeed, unless the billboards fall,
I’ll never see a tree at all.

About the Poet

Joyce Kilmer was born on December 6, 1886, in New Brunswick, New Jersey. Kilmer attended Rutgers Preparatory School and graduated in 1904. He attended Rutgers College from 1904 to 1906, then transferred to Columbia University, where he completed his bachelor’s degree in journalism in 1908. That same year, he married poet Aline Murray.

After Kilmer graduated college, he took a job teaching Latin at a high school in Morristown, New Jersey, and wrote features for The Literary Digest, The Nation, Town & Country, and The New York Times. From 1909 to 1912, he worked for Funk and Wagnalls, writing definitions for The Standard Dictionary, and continued to write magazine articles for publication.

In 1911, Kilmer published his first poetry collection, A Summer of Love (The Baker & Taylor Company). Two years later, he published what would become his most famous poem, “Trees,” in Poetry magazine. The poem was included in his second collection, Trees and Other Poems (Doubleday, Doran & Company, 1914). 

Kilmer published his last poetry collection, Main Street and Other Poems (George H. Doran Company, 1917), the same year he enlisted in the U.S. Army to serve in World War I, during which time he continued to write poems while fighting in the Sixty-Ninth Regiment. He died of a gunshot from a German sniper on July 30, 1918.

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