July 23, 2024

Masculinity Ode

By Joe

Masculinity Ode
By Ally Ang

I used to think my body craved
annihilation. An inevitability,
like the slow asphyxiation
of the earth. Yoked to this body
by beauty, its shallow promises
I was desperate to believe,
too fearful to renounce my allegiance
even with its hand closing
around my throat. When I chose
myself, I chose surrender. God
is the river that remakes me
in its image. I didn’t know what
was waiting on the other side.
I swam through it anyway.

About This Poem

“I contemplated transitioning for many years before I took the leap, but I let fear—of violence and rejection, of how I would be perceived, of my own masculinity and masculinity in general—hold me back. This poem is a celebration of the divine and liberating act of choosing one’s happiness despite that fear.” —Ally Ang

I found the interview Ang did with Heretic Hereafter, “The Intimate, Erotic Love of God” to be very interesting.

About The Poet

Ally Ang is a gaysian poet and editor based in Seattle. They are the author of Let the Moon Wobble, forthcoming from Alice James Books in Fall 2025. 

Ang’s work has been published in Queer Nature: A Poetry Anthology (Autumn House Press 2022), Nepantla: An Anthology Dedicated to Queer Poets of Color (Nightboat Books 2018), The Margins, The Journal, and elsewhere. They are a 2023 National Endowment for the Arts Creative Writing Fellow, a 2023 MacDowell fellow, a 2022 Jack Straw Writers Program Fellow and a 2022 Tin House Summer Workshop participant. 

Ang is an editor with Game Over Books, the author of the chapbook Monstrosity (Damaged Goods Press 2016), and the co-editor of an anthology of Southeast Asian art and writing titled All the Oils: On Friendship, Sex, and Other Warmths (Ginger Bug Press 2021).

About Joe

Unknown's avatar
I began my life in the South and for five years lived as a closeted teacher, but am now making a new life for myself as an oral historian in New England. I think my life will work out the way it was always meant to be. That doesn't mean there won't be ups and downs; that's all part of life. It means I just have to be patient. I feel like October 7, 2015 is my new birthday. It's a beginning filled with great hope. It's a second chance to live my life…not anyone else's. My profile picture is "David and Me," 2001 painting by artist Steve Walker. It happens to be one of my favorite modern gay art pieces. View all posts by Joe
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