Still Kickin’ (Just Not Very High)

The news from the MRI wasn’t what I’d hoped—but it also wasn’t the worst-case scenario I’d braced myself for. The results showed that my liver is far from healthy, though, thankfully, not beyond hope. It seems I drew a losing ticket in the genetic lottery more than anything else; there’s no obvious cause rooted in lifestyle. In fact, the radiologist noted I show hidden signs of liver disease, but no outward ones. No jaundice. No swelling. No visible markers at all.

That’s not nothing. And considering I’d already made a lot of lifestyle changes before this diagnosis ever came into the picture, there’s reason to be cautiously optimistic that things may not progress—at least not quickly, and hopefully, not at all. I’m asymptomatic now. 🤞 And with any luck (and a continued commitment to healthy habits), I’ll stay that way.

As far as lifestyle changes go, the only major shift I really have to make is to completely give up alcohol. That won’t be hard. I’ve never been much of a drinker—an occasional margarita or glass of wine at most. And honestly, over the past ten years, even those moments have been rare.

Now, turning to my back—which has been the more urgent issue, pain-wise—the x-ray results haven’t come back yet, so I don’t have any answers on that front. My doctor and I are currently in the trial-and-error phase of finding a balance between pain management and actually being able to function like a human being. The higher dosage of medication yesterday knocked the pain out… and me along with it. I was barely able to stay awake, let alone do anything useful. We’re adjusting things again today and hoping for a better balance.

If we can get it right, I should be able to return to work. That is, assuming I can walk far enough and stand or sit long enough without the kind of pain that makes you question your entire spinal column’s existence.

In the meantime, my doctor has put in orders for physical therapy and an MRI of my lumbar spine and has referred me to a spinal specialist. I already have an appointment—but it’s not until October 14. I’m on their cancellation list, though, and I’m crossing all fingers and toes that something opens up sooner. No word yet on when PT or the lumbar MRI will happen, but I do hope I get to see my usual physical therapist. She knows my body and we get along very well. It’s nice to know that the staff at my doctor’s clinic—which includes the PT clinic—have remarked to my doctor how pleasant it is every time I come in. They genuinely look forward to seeing me, though I know they wish it was only for routine stuff and not more urgent medical needs.

That’s the state of things for now. If I don’t overdo it, I can function fairly well. But the moment I push too far—bend too much, stand too long, walk too far—it’s excruciating.

I know this blog hasn’t looked quite like itself lately. I miss writing poetry posts and art history features just as much as you might miss reading them. But for now, all I can manage are health updates—and I appreciate you bearing with me while I get through this stretch. I hope we’ll be back to our regularly scheduled programming soon.

Until then, be well—and take care of your backs, livers, and everything in between.

About Joe

Unknown's avatar
I began my life in the South and for five years lived as a closeted teacher, but am now making a new life for myself as an oral historian in New England. I think my life will work out the way it was always meant to be. That doesn't mean there won't be ups and downs; that's all part of life. It means I just have to be patient. I feel like October 7, 2015 is my new birthday. It's a beginning filled with great hope. It's a second chance to live my life…not anyone else's. My profile picture is "David and Me," 2001 painting by artist Steve Walker. It happens to be one of my favorite modern gay art pieces. View all posts by Joe

One response to “Still Kickin’ (Just Not Very High)

  • vandycolt's avatar vandycolt

    Sending prayers! I suffer with back and neck issues also Joe. Those are just one of my difficulties. I nearly lost my mind waiting for someone to finally find my neck issues back

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