The beloved of the Lord shall dwell in safety by Him, who shelters him all the day long; and he shall dwell between His shoulders.

—Deuteronomy 33:12

Beloved is a term of affection common to both the Old and New Testaments. In the Old Testament, beloved primarily comes from two Hebrew words: ahebh, a verb which means to love or to lust; dodh, a noun which means an object of love. Both terms are elevated in the Bible as the equivalent of the Greek word agapetos, which means more than the erotic sense of love and emotion but includes intellectual good will, self-giving, and spiritual love. “Beloved” appears forty-four times in the Old Testament, twenty-eight of which are in the Song of Solomon. In the New Testament “beloved” is used exclusively as spiritual love. Ancient Greek philosophy differentiated the Modern English word love into six forms: agápe, érōs, philía, philautía, storgē, and xenía.

1. Agápe (ἀγάπη): brotherly love, charity; the love of God for person and of person for God.
2. Éros (ἔρως): love, mostly of the sexual passion.
3. Philia (φιλία): affectionate regard, friendship, usually between equals.
4. Storge (στοργή): love, affection, especially the love between parents and children.
5. Philautia (φιλαυτία): to love oneself or regard for one’s own happiness.
6. Xenia (ξενία) the concept of hospitality.

The New Testament speaks mainly of agapetos (beloved) and can mean any or all of the six Ancient Greek definitions of the word love. Agapetos appears forty-seven times in the New Testament. In Matthew, Mark, and Luke, God identifies Jesus, His “beloved Son.” The meaning implies “chosen,” an act of will rather than of feeling. Paul made use of the term thirty-two times in all his letters except Galatians and Titus, with reference to many individuals named and to the “brethren.” It appears twelve times in the epistles of John.

In other words, “beloved” is an important concept in the Bible. It is a key principle that God is trying to teach us about His kind of love. Often one of the hardest things for a person to do is to accept unconditional love. Perhaps it’s because the world often displays a love that is contingent on the recipient’s behavior or form of repayment of the love. As LGBTQ+ Christians, many of us are familiar with conditional love. We are told we are loved only if we follow the rules that man have made about love, notice I did not say the rules God has made about love. Conditional love causes many of us to struggle with the concept and acceptance unconditional love.

The Dutch theologian Henri J.M. Nouwen said, “Over the years, I have come to realize that the greatest trap in our life is not success, popularity, or power, but self-rejection. Success, popularity, and power can indeed present a great temptation, but their seductive quality often comes from the way they are part of the much larger temptation to self-rejection. When we have come to believe in the voices that call us worthless and unlovable, then success, popularity, and power are easily perceived as attractive solutions. The real trap, however, is self-rejection. As soon as someone accuses me or criticizes me, as soon as I am rejected, left alone, or abandoned, I find myself thinking, “Well, that proves once again that I am a nobody.” … [My dark side says,] I am no good… I deserve to be pushed aside, forgotten, rejected, and abandoned. Self-rejection is the greatest enemy of the spiritual life because it contradicts the sacred voice that calls us the “Beloved.” Being the Beloved constitutes the core truth of our existence.”

We are all the beloved of God. Deuteronomy 33:12 tells us, “The beloved of the Lord shall dwell in safety by Him, whoshelters him all the day long; and he shall dwell between His shoulders.” In Daniel 9:23, the angel Gabriel tells Daniel, “I have come to tell you, for you are greatly beloved.” In Romans 9:25, Paul tells the Christian community in Rome that God welcomes both Jews and Gentiles, i.e., everyone, and quotes from Hosea that God will “call them [His] people, who were not [His] people, and her beloved, who was not beloved.” Even more that the unconditional love of God, He tells us not only that we are “beloved” by God, but also how we should love ourselves. In 1 Corinthians 15:58, Paul tells us, “Therefore, my beloved brethren, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that your labor is not in vain in the Lord.” In 2 Peter 3:17, we are told, “You therefore, beloved, since you know this beforehand, beware lest you also fall from your own steadfastness, being led away with the error of the wicked.” In this verse, Peter says it is the wicked who put conditions on love and cause us not to love ourselves.

In his epistles, John beautifully tells us about Christian love. In 1 John 4:7, he says, “Beloved, let us love one another, for love is of God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God.” Later in 1 John 4:11, he says, “Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.” And in 3 John 1:5, he says, “Beloved, you do faithfully whatever you do for the brethren and for strangers.” The holiday season as well as all year long, we should remember that we are the beloved of God. All mankind is the beloved of God, and we should treat each other in a way that shows our love for mankind, but we also must realize that we must also love ourselves. How can we love others unconditionally, if we put conditions on the love we should have for ourselves? We are God’s beloved, and as such, we must love unconditionally, that includes philautia, or self-love. So, I challenge you to not only show the love you have for others in this world, but also to love yourself and know that you are worthy of unconditional love.