Author Archives: Joe

About Joe

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I began my life in the South and for five years lived as a closeted teacher, but am now making a new life for myself as an oral historian in New England. I think my life will work out the way it was always meant to be. That doesn't mean there won't be ups and downs; that's all part of life. It means I just have to be patient. I feel like October 7, 2015 is my new birthday. It's a beginning filled with great hope. It's a second chance to live my life…not anyone else's. My profile picture is "David and Me," 2001 painting by artist Steve Walker. It happens to be one of my favorite modern gay art pieces.

Pic of the Day


Political Rant of the Week

I have said this numerous times, but Republican politicians are some of the most repugnant Americans. As the Biden administration continues to support LGBTQ+ rights, Republican homophobia and transphobia are becoming very apparent. Republicans have been using transgender women as the scapegoat for their opposition to LGBTQ+ rights. They have repeatedly denigrated trans kids and student-athletes and accused the parents of trans people of being neglectful or abusive. First, thirteen Republican Senators voted against Pete Buttigieg’s confirmation as Secretary of Transportation. None, as far as I know, gave a reason, and when I wrote to my former senator Richard Shelby, who I have always been told has a gay son, to ask why he voted against Pete, I was given a non-answer about how he carefully considers all nominees he votes on. I believe that most of these thirteen senators, including Shelby, voted against Pete because of his sexuality. While silent homophobia is bad enough, the outspoken homophobia and transphobia of some Republicans in Congress are beyond abhorrent.

The Senate Health, Education, Labor and Pensions (HELP) Committee held a joint hearing to confirm Surgeon General Nominee Dr. Vivek Murphy and Dr. Rachel Levine, who is transgender and is the current surgeon general for Pennsylvania. Most questions focused on the government’s response to COVID-19. Sen. Rand Paul (R-KY) decided to go on an anti-transgender tirade when questioning Dr. Levine, ranting about how Congress should ban gender-affirming health care for transgender kids instead of left up to families and doctors. Paul started by saying, “Genital mutilation has been nearly universally condemned. Genital mutilation has been condemned by the WHO, the United Nations Children’s Fund, the United Nations Population Fund.” He went on to say that genital mutilation is egregious because “it is nearly always carried out on minors and is a violation of the rights of children.” If he wanted to compare bottom surgery to genital mutilation, he was badly mistaken. It’s almost unheard of for minors to get bottom surgery. 

In fact, everyone talks about puberty blockers being used so that trans youth can have more time to understand themselves before puberty permanently affects their bodies. Paul then turned to the subject of puberty blockers and cited the American College of Pediatricians, an SPLC designated hate group that promotes anti-LGBTQ+ bias. It is often confused with the American Pediatric Association, the real professional association for pediatricians that urges parents of trans kids to “listen, respect and support their child’s self-expressed identity.” Paul remarked that “80 to 90 percent” of children with gender dysphoria “will experience resolution,” a euphemism for stopping being transgender. This statistic is fake, but Paul said it anyway at a Senate hearing. Paul continually attacked Dr. Levine in the hearing.

If Paul wants to rant about genital mutilation in children, he should support the campaign against infant circumcision. I will not say that circumcision should be prohibitive for those of the Jewish faith; after all, Republicans are always claiming to believe in religious freedom. Circumcision took hold in the United States in the late 19th century, spread through the “modernization” of medicine. A few prominent doctors, including John Harvey Kellogg, advocated the surgery as a cure for paralysis, epilepsy, venereal disease, even mental illness. Throughout the Victorian era, it was extolled for its virtue of cleanliness and as a cure for masturbation. Circumcision is the only common genital mutilation in the United States. Most of the rest of the world has quit following the practice or never advocated it in the first place. If circumcision should continue, it should be reserved for cases of medical necessity.

Then there is the always “pleasant” Marjorie Taylor Greene, who held up all of Congress’s business in a destined-to-fail attempt to stop the LGBTQ+ Equality Act from passing the House. Greene called the Equality Act “DISGUSTING, IMMORAL, AND EVIL.” One of her colleagues found an excellent way to show her contempt for Greene’s opposition to LGBTQ+ rights. Rep. Marie Newman (D-IL) put up a transgender flag across the hall from Greene’s office so that she’d have to see it every day. Newman tweeted, “Thought we’d put up our Transgender flag so she can look at it every time she opens her door.” 

Greene, who the House voted to strip her of her committee assignments due to her support of violence against other House members, put up a hateful sign in response that said: “There are TWO genders: MALE & FEMALE. ‘Trust The Science!’” In a tweet, Greene noted that the Equality Act would “destroy women’s rights and religious freedoms.” She posted a video of herself smirking at the camera while slapping it on the wall. Making Greene’s sign even more insensitive is the fact that Newman’s daughter is transgender. On the House floor, she called her daughter the “strongest, bravest person I know.”

The Biden administration stated support of the Equality Act, a landmark piece of legislation that would establish LGBTQ+ civil rights protections in federal law. The measure passed the House yesterday. However, the Equality Act faces an obstacle in the Senate as Sen. Susan Collins (R-ME) refused to co-sponsor the bill and won’t say why. She has previously co-sponsored it but apparently is pouting because the Human Rights Campaign endorsed her Democratic challenger in the last election. Collins claims to be “a strong believer in LGBTQ rights,” yet, she doesn’t want to give us the federal protections we deserve. 

Our community often continues to face discrimination, harassment, and violence at work, at school, and in public accommodations. H.R. 5 would amend existing federal civil rights laws to expressly include nondiscrimination protection based on sex (including gender identity and sexual orientation), providing security and equality to LGBTQ+ Americans in accessing housing, employment, education, public accommodations, healthcare, and other federally funded services, credit, and more. The Supreme Court has already ruled in Bostock v. Clayton County that employees are protected from discrimination based on sex (including gender identity and sexual orientation) under Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964. The Equality Act confirms the implications of Bostock for other discrimination laws, consistent with the President’s Executive Order on Preventing and Combating Discrimination on the Basis of Gender Identity or Sexual Orientation, issued January 20, 2021, and further builds on Bostock, thereby securing such protections once and for all for LGBTQ+ Americans across Federal civil rights laws. Women also currently lack protection against sex discrimination in public accommodations and federally funded programs; the Equality Act would fill that gap in the law.

Finally, we have another reprehensible MAGAt in Rep. Lauren Boebert (R-CO), who recently used anti-gay stereotypes to explain her plan to vote against LGBTQ civil rights. Like Greene, Boebert is viciously – and proudly – anti-LGBTQ. During an unhinged rant full of fake claims about transgender pre-teens, Boebert managed to bring her transphobic comments around full circle to loop in an anti-gay stereotype that all gay men are feminine. She said she is raising her four sons “to be men,” and she is “proud of that.” The implication is that if you don’t meet her standard of masculinity, then you are not a man. I pity her sons to be raised in such a way. I was raised in much the same way and am still dealing with the psychological issues it caused.

It infuriates me that Paul, Greene, Boebert, or any other Congress member can make such hateful and discriminatory comments without any repercussions. Any member of Congress who uses such harmful language should be universally renounced and reprimanded for their derogatory and detrimental language concerning someone’s sexuality, race, or religion. We should hold our politicians to a higher standard. Minorities in this country have fought long and hard for equality and respect, yet lawmakers can make insensitive and disgusting comments like those mentioned above and face no consequences. Greene at least got removed from her committee assignments for previous conduct and remarks, but I doubt they will ever expel her for what she has done.  


Pic of the Day ​


The MRI

I had hoped to update everyone on my MRI results, but as I write this, I still do not have any definitive answers. The “After Visit Summary” for the MRI results gave a diagnosis of trigeminal neuralgia (TN), but I have not heard from my neurologist yet. I will send a message this morning asking when I will hear something. My neurologist and my doctor had not believed it was TN, which is a rare neurological condition. I suspect that my neurologist will also look at the MRI scans before she makes a definitive diagnosis. I am not going to say that it is TN at this time, but it seems like it might be more of a possibility than my doctors initially thought.

One thing I do know for sure is that I hope I never have to have another MRI. They told me that the table was uncomfortable, but this was more than just a little discomfort. The table was hard and flat, which caused lower back pain throughout the procedure. Furthermore, the tube I was in was very tight, and the way they had my head strapped in caused severe pain in my neck and shoulders. It was also hot inside the machine. They turned on a fan, but it did not do much, and I was sweating profusely. It finally got to the point that I had to ask to be taken out. The tech told me that if she let me move, they would have to stop the procedure and reschedule when they could give me some Advil for the pain. Knowing that Advil does little to relieve pain for me, I just said to continue. Thankfully, she turned the fan on high, and once I cooled down, the pain at least became bearable. 

When I was brought out to put in the contrast, I found out a new tech was there. She was much nicer and talked me through the procedure, and helped calm me down. Each time before the MRI started back up, she told me how long it would last, which the previous tech had not done. Knowing how much longer I would be in the machine helped. It just gave me a sense that it would eventually end sooner rather than later. I was so stiff when it was over from being in such an uncomfortable and painful position that the tech had to help lift me off the table so I could sit up. For me, this MRI was a nightmare and a bit torturous. It was not because I was claustrophobic; that did not bother me as much as the heat and painful position. I was so glad to get out of there and head back home.

If I hear more today, which I hope I will, I will give an update of the diagnosis as soon as I can. I appreciate all of the prayer and loving energy you have been sending my way. Thank you. It means so much to me.

_____________________

Because I was so stiff and sore from being in the MRI machine, I spent most of yesterday like the guy in the above picture. I mostly just laid on the couch and watched TV. I’m glad I had already planned to take yesterday off before I had the MRI. I took the day off because I knew it would be late when I got in Tuesday night.

_____________________

UPDATE:

I received a message from my neurologist this morning, and my brain MRI results are “reassuring and normal.” She is prescribing indomethacin as it can be very effective for the type of head pain I am having. She wants to try me on this medicine to see if we can get the pain under control. I pray that this works. The good news is that it does not actually appear to be TN as the initial diagnosis from the radiologist reported, and since the results were “reassuring and normal,” there are no signs of a tumor or multiple sclerosis. My neurologist believes it is more likely hemicrania continue (HC), which responds well to indomethacin.


Pic of the Day


The Eyes Have It

I usually write my posts the night before I post them in the morning. Sometimes, if I am not busy working from home, I write them during the day. Sometimes, I am inspired by the news or random thoughts. Other times, I am inspired for a picture that I see, and it evokes certain thoughts. This post was one of the latter. Since I was having my MRI last night and did not get home until late, I didn’t have much to say today. I hope I will get the results sometime today, but until then, here are some lovely pictures of men’s eyes. One of the advantages of everyone wearing masks is that we get to focus on a person’s eyes. Some men have beautiful eyes, and I am often attracted to the eyes of a man (okay, as is evident by a lot of the pictures I post, I also usually check out their butts as well, LOL).

This brings me to another interesting phenomenon of the pandemic. We have all heard of catfishing (if you haven’t, it is the process of luring someone into a relationship by means of a fictional online persona). There is also another less devious term I heard the other day: Hatfishing, when a handsome man looks hot wearing a hat, then, when he takes it off he goes from “That man is gorgeous!” to “What was I thinking?” During the pandemic, I have noticed one more version of this: maskfishing, where a person appears to be more attractive because they are wearing a facemask. In both hatfishing and maskfishing, we often notice the eyes first (or his butt, according to which way he is facing).

Here are some wise quotes about eyes:

  1. “The soul, fortunately, has an interpreter —often an unconscious but still a faithful interpreter —in the eye.” —Charlotte Bronte
  2. “Eyes so transparent that through them the soul is seen.” —Theophile Gautier
  3. “Where words are restrained, the eyes often talk a great deal.” —Samuel Richardson
  4. “The eyes only see what the mind is prepared to comprehend.” —Henri Bergson
  1. “Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other’s eyes for an instant?” —Henry David Thoreau
  2. “No one can lie, no one can hide anything, when he looks directly into someone’s eyes.” —Paulo Coelho
  3. “The face is a picture of the mind with the eyes as its interpreter.” ― Marcus Tullius Cicero
  1. “The eyes shout what the lips fear to say.” —William Henry
  2. “The eyes indicate the antiquity of the soul.” —Ralph Waldo Emerson
  3. “It’s true about the eyes being the window to the soul. Your face can be etched with worry, and twisted by ageing, but the eyes tell the true story of who you are.” —Naomie Harris
  4. “The real lover is the man who can thrill you just by touching your head or smiling into your eyes —or just by staring into space.” — Marilyn Monroe
  1. “The soul would have no rainbow had the eyes no tears.” —John Vance Cheney
  2. “For beautiful eyes, look for the good in others; for beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness; and for poise, walk with the knowledge that you are never alone.” —Audrey Hepburn
  3. “The world only exists in your eyes. You can make it as big or as small as you want.” —F. Scott Fitzgerald

Pic of the Day


Wild Geese

Wild Geese
By Mary Oliver

You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting –
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.

About the Poem

The American poet Mary Oliver published “Wild Geese” in her seventh collection, Dream Work, which came out in 1986. The poem’s speaker urges readers to open themselves up to the beauty of nature. While people focus on their own struggles, the speaker points out, the natural world moves along effortlessly, free as a flock of geese passing overhead. The poem celebrates nature’s grandeur—and its ability to remind people that, after all, they’re part of something vast and meaningful.

The poem tells readers that they don’t have to be perfect, nor do they have to beat themselves up by wandering the desert as if paying for their sins. Instead, people only have to treat their bodies like the vulnerable animals that they are, simply letting them love whatever they want to love. Oliver offers to commiserate with readers about their suffering and unhappiness, but adds that while they talk about this, the world will continue like normal—sunshine and rain will move over the earth’s wide-open plains, tall trees, mountains, and rivers. No matter who you are or how lonely you are you can always lose yourself in the wonders of nature, since these wonders call out like the urgent squawks of wild geese—a sound that, again and again, puts people back in touch with their surroundings and makes them feel at home in the world.

The poem acknowledges that human beings are soft, vulnerable creatures prone to suffering and despair. At the same time, it frames the vast, awe-inspiring beauty of nature as a soothing and comforting force—something that reminds people that they’re part of something bigger and more meaningful than their everyday problems. “Wild Geese” seeks to put the pressures and difficulties of everyday life into perspective. The speaker acknowledges the burden people feel to be “good” and also notes that everyone inevitably experiences “despair” or loneliness from time to time. Beating yourself up for perceived mistakes or failings, the speaker implies, is a fruitless endeavor that drains people’s happiness.

About the Poet

Mary Oliver (September 10, 1935 – January 17, 2019) was an American poet who won the National Book Award and the Pulitzer Prize. Her work is inspired by nature, rather than the human world, stemming from her lifelong passion for solitary walks in the wild. It is characterized by a sincere wonderment at the impact of natural imagery, conveyed in unadorned language.

On a visit to Austerlitz in the late 1950s, Oliver met photographer Molly Malone Cook, who became her partner for over forty years. In Our World, a book of Cook’s photos and journal excerpts Oliver compiled after Cook’s death, Oliver writes, “I took one look [at Cook] and fell, hook and tumble.” Cook was Oliver’s literary agent. They made their home largely in Provincetown, Massachusetts, where they lived until Cook’s death in 2005, and where Oliver continued to live until relocating to Florida. Of Provincetown she recalled, “I too fell in love with the town, that marvelous convergence of land and water; Mediterranean light; fishermen who made their living by hard and difficult work from frighteningly small boats; and, both residents and sometime visitors, the many artists and writers. […] M. and I decided to stay.”

Mary Oliver Reading Her Poem “Wild Geese”

Pic of the Day


Another Week Begins

I had several errands to run this weekend. Luckily, I was generally feeling okay with a dull headache during much of the day. However, by nightfall, the headache is usually at its worse. Last night was no different. I was watching TV and realized I needed to put together a post for today, but my head was aching so badly that I gave up trying to say anything of substance. I hope all of you had a good weekend.