Category Archives: Health

Just Two More Days

So far, this week at work has been rough. I expected a lot of catching up after being out on emergency medical leave, but I didn’t expect the added challenge of my boss being openly—or at least quietly—hostile about it. It’s not always outright confrontation, but her demands and unwillingness to even discuss accommodations have been deeply disappointing. She’s also requesting documentation that, according to my physical therapist, should only come from HR. I’ll have to tell her that today, which I’m sure will be another fun conversation.

The whole situation has triggered a lot of anxiety and deepened the depression I was already feeling from the fact that my pain doesn’t seem to be getting any better. Part of that, I think, is because of how far I’ve had to walk from our temporary parking lot. Our usual lot is closed for repairs, and the longer walk from the temporary lots has been rough. The lot is supposed to reopen tomorrow, so I asked to move my work-from-home day from Friday to Wednesday to help reduce the strain. She refused.

When I tried to find another solution—asking her to address the problem of our two museum-reserved parking spaces being used by people who aren’t even patrons—she told me to take it up with her boss. It felt less like “couldn’t” and more like “wouldn’t,” but I did as she said. Thankfully, he actually took action, going out to take pictures of the cars parked there and contacting campus security. He’s dealt with severe back pain himself, though for him walking brought relief. I explained that for me, it’s the opposite—every extra step makes the pain worse.

There are other issues I could get into, but honestly, I’m too tired to go into detail. I just hope today is a better day, and I hope all of you have a good one too.

I just need to survive two more days.


Back to the Office… Ready or Not

Today, I head back to work. My paid medical leave officially ended yesterday. Technically, it should have shifted from continuous leave to intermittent leave for the next two months, but the Human Resources Department at my university managed to botch the approval. They didn’t follow through with everything my doctor requested, so now I have to sort that out. I need to contact my doctor this morning to see if HR even sent him the paperwork needed to fix this.

I wish they had at least considered a work-from-home arrangement, but my boss refuses to even request it. So, that’s off the table. Instead, I’ll go into the office today and spend my time reading and sending emails—tasks I could easily do from my laptop at home. I have no appointments or meetings scheduled, and if I did, they’d be virtual. My boss seems to lack any sign of empathy or sympathy, but there’s no point in continuing to complain about her. It’s just not worth the energy. There’s nothing I can do except quietly keep an eye out for other opportunities. I’d prefer to stay in New England, but I might have to look farther afield. What I won’t do is move back to Alabama.

Sorry for the work rant, but it’s what’s on my mind this morning. Since I have to face the day regardless, I’m trying to focus on the positives—like how well things went when I ventured out yesterday.

Yesterday, I ran a few errands and—surprisingly—it went great. I had no pain, walked without a limp, and felt like myself again. The only odd moment was leaving the gas station, when my right leg suddenly got wobbly. It didn’t hurt; it just wasn’t cooperating. Still, I considered the outing a success. The only caveat: I never walked more than 20–30 yards at a time. We’ll see what happens today when I have to walk farther and sit in my office chair for hours.

This morning didn’t get off to the best start. I woke up with pain in my leg and had to sit down while my coffee brewed. Maybe the day will smooth out like it did yesterday, but honestly, with the way I’m feeling right now, I’m not overly optimistic. Still, I’m holding onto the hope that today will surprise me for the better—because I could use a day that ends with me feeling proud I made it through.


Back in the Game… Briefly

My back and leg seem to be getting better—but this weekend reminded me I’m not quite there yet.

On Saturday, I actually managed to run some errands. Things were going surprisingly well, and for a little while, I felt almost normal. That is, until I stepped off a sidewalk the wrong way and lost my footing. I didn’t fall, thankfully, but the sudden jolt brought the pain rushing back with a vengeance.

I had one last store to visit, and since sitting in my car usually helps, I thought I could manage. Big mistake. By the time I finished shopping, the pain was so bad I nearly threw up—and judging by the way the cashier looked at me, I must have been white as a sheet. When I got home, I only unloaded what needed refrigeration, then collapsed on the couch and took my pain meds.

The rest of Saturday and all of Sunday were spent recovering from what should have been a simple errand run.

This morning, I’m calling physical therapy as soon as their office opens. I need to get started healing the root of the problem, not just managing the pain. Until then, this week will be focused on continued recovery, gentle movement, and hopefully no more sidewalk surprises.

Fingers crossed I’ll be back to work next Monday.

Wishing everyone a good week ahead—stay safe out there, and watch your step!


Moment of Zen: Sleep

This week, I chose sleep as my Moment of Zen—mostly because it’s been so elusive lately. Ever since the worst of my back pain began, restful sleep has been nearly impossible. The pain got so bad I ended up in the ER, and while the doctors provided medication to manage both the pain and my sleep, I’ve still only had two truly restful nights in the past two weeks. I’ve managed short naps during the day, but real sleep—deep, healing, uninterrupted sleep—remains rare. We often take it for granted until it’s out of reach, and only then do we realize just how essential a good night’s sleep really is to our happiness and well-being.


Friday, More or Less

Normally, I’d be saying, “Thank goodness, it’s Friday!” But honestly, the days have been running together lately. Being stuck at home with limited mobility and not much to do, each day feels pretty much like the last. The only reason I knew yesterday was Thursday? A new episode of Star Trek: Strange New Worlds dropped.

It was one of those quirky episodes, and I tend to enjoy when SNW leans into its weirder side. Star Trek, across all its incarnations, has often done quirky well—though sometimes it goes completely off the rails. Still, I appreciate the risk when it works.

I’ve gotten off on a tangent, but to be honest, I’m not sure I had a point to begin with. That’s kind of the vibe lately. I’m not sure what today holds. I probably need to make a run to the pharmacy, but that can likely wait until tomorrow. I should also follow up with my doctor’s office about the physical therapy referral. Other than that, there’s really nothing urgent.

Maybe I’ll just sleep the day away. I haven’t been sleeping well in general, but last night was an exception. I’ve figured out that I fall asleep most comfortably on the couch. Once I wake up from that first stretch of sleep—usually still groggy—I’ll move to the bed and sleep the rest of the night. If I try to start out in bed, I toss and turn for hours before inevitably giving up and heading to the couch anyway. So last night I skipped the middleman: I started on the couch, drifted off, then transitioned to the bed when I woke up. It worked.

Another thing that helps? Not wearing clothes. I know that sounds like an overshare, but anything with a waistband—no matter how loose—puts pressure right where the pain originates. It’s amazing how much relief comes from just avoiding that added tension. So I’ve embraced comfort and ditched the waistband altogether whenever I can.

If I don’t nap the day away, maybe I’ll read a little or find something to watch on TV—maybe a series to binge or a good movie to pass the time. If anyone has recommendations, I’d love to hear them. I could use something new and distracting.

That’s probably enough rambling for one post. I hope you all have a great weekend. I doubt mine will be entirely pain-free, but here’s hoping it’s at least a little less painful—and a little more restful.


Thursday Check In

I spoke to my doctor last night as he was preparing the paperwork for my leave request. Unfortunately, things aren’t improving as quickly as I’d hoped. I still can’t sit or stand for more than a few minutes at a time, and walking more than a dozen steps makes the pain nearly unbearable. I told him I was aiming to return to work on Monday, thinking I might finally have the right combination of medications to function again. He told me that was overly optimistic. Realistically, he expects I’ll be out at least two more weeks.

Today has already started off rough. I had a hard time falling asleep last night, and Isabella, ever punctual, wanted to be fed at her usual 5:00 a.m. breakfast time. She was somewhat patient and let me sleep until 5:30.

After feeding her and brewing a cup of coffee, I settled in with an episode of Star Trek: Strange New Worlds. That might sound like a decent way to start the day—except I’ve also got a migraine on top of everything else.

At least I can sleep the day away if I want to. And right now, that’s probably the best plan.

Isabella Pic of the Week:

She’s been curling up on a black blanket lately—so well camouflaged that I nearly jump out of my skin every time the blanket moves. It’s her own personal cloaking device. Somewhere, a Romulan engineer is taking notes. 🖖🐾


Still Kickin’ (Just Not Very High)

The news from the MRI wasn’t what I’d hoped—but it also wasn’t the worst-case scenario I’d braced myself for. The results showed that my liver is far from healthy, though, thankfully, not beyond hope. It seems I drew a losing ticket in the genetic lottery more than anything else; there’s no obvious cause rooted in lifestyle. In fact, the radiologist noted I show hidden signs of liver disease, but no outward ones. No jaundice. No swelling. No visible markers at all.

That’s not nothing. And considering I’d already made a lot of lifestyle changes before this diagnosis ever came into the picture, there’s reason to be cautiously optimistic that things may not progress—at least not quickly, and hopefully, not at all. I’m asymptomatic now. 🤞 And with any luck (and a continued commitment to healthy habits), I’ll stay that way.

As far as lifestyle changes go, the only major shift I really have to make is to completely give up alcohol. That won’t be hard. I’ve never been much of a drinker—an occasional margarita or glass of wine at most. And honestly, over the past ten years, even those moments have been rare.

Now, turning to my back—which has been the more urgent issue, pain-wise—the x-ray results haven’t come back yet, so I don’t have any answers on that front. My doctor and I are currently in the trial-and-error phase of finding a balance between pain management and actually being able to function like a human being. The higher dosage of medication yesterday knocked the pain out… and me along with it. I was barely able to stay awake, let alone do anything useful. We’re adjusting things again today and hoping for a better balance.

If we can get it right, I should be able to return to work. That is, assuming I can walk far enough and stand or sit long enough without the kind of pain that makes you question your entire spinal column’s existence.

In the meantime, my doctor has put in orders for physical therapy and an MRI of my lumbar spine and has referred me to a spinal specialist. I already have an appointment—but it’s not until October 14. I’m on their cancellation list, though, and I’m crossing all fingers and toes that something opens up sooner. No word yet on when PT or the lumbar MRI will happen, but I do hope I get to see my usual physical therapist. She knows my body and we get along very well. It’s nice to know that the staff at my doctor’s clinic—which includes the PT clinic—have remarked to my doctor how pleasant it is every time I come in. They genuinely look forward to seeing me, though I know they wish it was only for routine stuff and not more urgent medical needs.

That’s the state of things for now. If I don’t overdo it, I can function fairly well. But the moment I push too far—bend too much, stand too long, walk too far—it’s excruciating.

I know this blog hasn’t looked quite like itself lately. I miss writing poetry posts and art history features just as much as you might miss reading them. But for now, all I can manage are health updates—and I appreciate you bearing with me while I get through this stretch. I hope we’ll be back to our regularly scheduled programming soon.

Until then, be well—and take care of your backs, livers, and everything in between.


No Poem Today

There won’t be a poem on the blog today. While I am feeling a bit better this morning, the change in my medication has left me far too drowsy to write a proper post. I’m also still waiting to hear back from my doctors about the latest tests.

Yesterday was an ordeal—just getting around involved far too much walking, and it took a toll on me. Hopefully, I’ll have more energy (and fewer side effects) soon.

Thank you for your patience and kindness.


Starting the Week, One Careful Step at a Time

My sciatica still hasn’t improved much. I’ve found that if I can get into just the right position, stay still, and do a little gentle stretching, I can be somewhat pain-free for a while. But for the most part, walking remains difficult. That said, today has been a little better—just enough to give me some hope.

Yesterday, I had to make a run to CVS, and I was dreading the outing. But surprisingly, sitting in the car turned out to be quite relaxing. I always step out of my car with my left leg, but when I get up from the couch or bed, the pressure usually falls on my right leg—which is where the worst of the pain is. Because I wasn’t putting as much weight on that side, I was able to stand and walk around the store with relatively little discomfort. It seems the key is avoiding any twisting of my torso. I only wish I could replicate the ergonomics of my car seat elsewhere, but my couch is too low and my bed too high to offer the same kind of relief.

Today is going to be a long one. I have to be at the hospital by 7:15 this morning (which means I’ll be walking out the door right as this post goes live) for an MRI of my liver. While I’m there, I’m also scheduled for a lumbar x-ray to take a closer look at what’s happening with my back.

Since I had to fast for the MRI, I’ll be very glad when I can finally drink some water—and even more so when I can get something to eat afterward. Depending on how I’m feeling, I may stop by the grocery store to pick up a few things before heading home.

One thing’s for sure: I’ll be happy to walk back through the door to my apartment when the day is done.

Here’s hoping the rest of the week is gentler, more comfortable, and maybe even a little brighter. Wishing you all a peaceful Monday and a good start to the week.


Easing Into the Weekend

Ideally, this would be my look today… but since waistbands aggravate my back pain, it’s more like the second pic after the page jump. 😏

It’s been a tough week, and I have to admit I haven’t been able to sit at my desk long enough to pull together the male nude in art post I had planned. Between the limitations of my back and the haze of my current medication, it’s probably for the best—I’m not sure what I might’ve written while loopy on muscle relaxers anyway.

The back spasms seem to be easing up, thankfully, but the pain that shoots down my leg hasn’t let up. Walking remains difficult, and even standing still can feel like a small form of torture. I’ve got to brave the shower this morning—painful as it may be—because I have an errand to run early. After that, I fully intend to do as little as possible. Just rest, relax, and give my body a chance to heal.

Isabella has been mostly patient with me throughout all this. She’s even refrained—mostly—from walking or lying on the lower half of my body, which is a miracle in itself. Twice this week, she let me sleep until 5:00 a.m., and once until 5:30! Every cat I’ve ever had has seemed to sense when something was wrong, mentally or physically, and done their best—within the limits of feline behavior—to make things easier. She’s no exception.

Wishing all of you a restful and restorative weekend. Be kind to yourselves.

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