Category Archives: Miscellaneous

Dr. McDreamy

I have a doctor’s appointment today. Just a routine checkup—nothing to worry about. I always enjoy seeing my doctor. He’s very kind and, frankly, very good-looking (hence part of the blog title). Since I still have vacation time to use before the end of May, I took this morning as sick leave and this afternoon as vacation. So: no work for me today.

Last night, I had another one of my steamy dreams.

Earlier in the evening, I’d been thinking about a vacation I’m planning in April. I know I’ll be going to several gay bars, and maybe—just maybe—I’ll finally get some relief for whatever these dreams are trying to tell me. The dream began with that trip… and then drifted back to my office.

Several years ago, when I was briefly on Grindr, I was messaged by a young man. As we chatted, I realized he was a student. Any sexual relationship with a student—even an online one—is grounds for immediate dismissal, so I told him why I was hesitant to continue the conversation. That’s when he calmly said he knew who I was because he used to be a student worker at the museum.

The restrooms are in the same entrance area as the reception desk where our student workers usually sit. He told me that every time I walked into the restroom, he fantasized about me fucking him in one of the stalls.

He never showed me his face, but he had a fantastic body—and an impressive dick. I didn’t believe him at first. I was heavier then, badly out of shape, and at least twenty years older than him. But he said I was his type. He liked older, larger men.

We even made plans for him to come to my apartment. He never showed, which was probably for the best.

Later, I realized who he was from the student workers we’d had. After standing me up, he returned to work at the museum and seemed more comfortable around me than before. I noticed him looking at me when he thought I wasn’t watching. We never spoke about Grindr, and I never let on that I knew who he was.

That May, he graduated, joined the Marines, and disappeared from my life.

Which brings me to the dream.

In the dream, it’s seven years later. He shows up at the museum and comes into my office. He asks if I remember him. I say of course I do. He asks if we can close the door.

Once it’s shut, he reminds me of that Grindr conversation—the student who used to fantasize about me. I tell him I remember. It’s not something you forget. He says he’s always regretted not coming to my apartment and that he’s sorry he stood me up. He’s nearly in tears.

I stand up and hug him. He melts into me and tells me how hard it was seeing me every day for the rest of that school year. Then he straightens himself and asks if he can take me to dinner that night. He’ll be in town for a few days.

We meet at his hotel at six and go to a nice Italian restaurant. The conversation is awkward at first, but then it flows. I ask about the Marines. About MMA. I knew he’d won a regional tournament when he was in college.

At the end of dinner, I try to pay, but he insists.

Back at his hotel, he invites me up. As soon as the door shuts behind us, he presses me against it and kisses me—hungry, urgent, like he’s been holding this in for years.

For once, I don’t wake up before the dream gets to the good part.

I give him exactly what he’s been wanting all these years.

And then something strange happens: I start to wake up, but the dream doesn’t stop. My body is in bed, but my mind is still there—still walking out of his hotel room, still feeling the echo of his hands on me, already imagining the next time I’ll see him.

I wake fully just as my dream-self is leaving his room, hard and flushed, caught in that half-awake haze where desire lingers even after the scene ends.

Eventually, things settle down and I drift back to sleep—though not before Isabella notices I’m awake around 2:30 a.m. She makes a halfhearted attempt to get me up for food, then decides my hip will do just fine and curls back up with me.

P.S. For anyone unfamiliar with the reference, “Dr. McDreamy” comes from Grey’s Anatomy, where it’s used as a nickname for a devastatingly handsome doctor… and if you’re going to have a hot doctor and a sex dream in the same post, you might as well commit to the bit.


Under the Covers

It is so cold this morning that I feel like I should have gone to bed last night wearing a sweater. When I sleep, I almost always wear a T-shirt and no pants because my legs get ridiculously hot at night. I’m generally a #5 on this chart—but from past comments, I’m guessing a fair number of you are solid #20s.

As I write this, it’s –6 degrees, with a projected high of 4. Thank goodness it’s my work-from-home day. The very first thing I did this morning—after feeding Isabella—was make a hot cup of tea and pull on sweatpants and a hoodie. I may overheat when I sleep, but the moment I get out of bed? I’m instantly frozen.

Winter really does keep us humble. 🥶🫖

* * * * * Red Alert * * * * * 

Possible spoiler ahead…

On a completely different note—has anyone else watched the latest episode of Star Trek: Starfleet Academy? It feels increasingly clear to me that Jay-Den is a gay Klingon. He’s played by Karim Diané, who is unmistakably gay, and the show has already teased that Jay-Den will have a romantic storyline at some point.

I originally assumed that would be Kyle from episode three, but after this week’s episode… I’m not so sure. The scene between Jay-Den and Daren felt very sexually charged. I genuinely thought they were about to kiss.

Was it just me, or did anyone else feel that spark too?


Dream, Interrupted

I woke up around 2 a.m. from a dream that felt unusually detailed and annoyingly unfinished.

The setting was Hattiesburg—but not Hattiesburg-me. It was Hattiesburg with the body, mind, and self-awareness I have now. A woman I knew in high school was throwing a birthday party for me at a bar. In real life we’ve drifted far apart into very different worlds (her MAGA, me reality), but in the dream she was cheerful and oddly thoughtful. A former colleague from Vermont was there too, along with several other women I half-recognized. All women…except for one man.

He stayed close to my old friend most of the night. He had curly dark hair, stylishly cut, and tight jeans that made it impossible not to notice his round, compact backside. His mannerisms were just slightly gay, but also comfortably masculine—like someone who knew exactly how he looked and didn’t mind being seen. I assumed he was her date, so I only allowed myself to notice him in that distant, respectful way reserved for attractive men you think are taken.

He seemed shy around me, though, and because he was younger, I didn’t imagine he was paying me any real attention.

We were all gathered near the bar at one point—she facing the counter, me turned sideways—and he stepped into the narrow space between us, his back to me. Then the crowd shifted and he was suddenly pressed right up against me. His backside brushed my crotch, not accidentally but not entirely on purpose either. I put my hands on his hips to steady him, expecting him to step forward.

Instead, he leaned back more, fitting himself against my chest and stomach like it was the most natural thing in the world. He even made a small sound—soft, surprised, and not entirely displeased.

After a moment he said, almost teasingly, “What does it take for you to notice me?”

I told him I had noticed him, but I thought he was with my friend. That’s when she turned around and said, “Oh no, I brought him because I knew he’d be your type.”

He smiled and added, “And you are most definitely my type.”

Dream logic took over after that. Somehow he was from Chicago. Somehow he was in graduate school in a department I couldn’t quite pin down—English? Engineering? Architecture? Polymer Science? Somehow my high school friend and my grad school friend were the same person. None of it made sense, and all of it felt completely reasonable.

I told him I didn’t think someone like him would be interested in someone like me—older, with a dad bod, less hair than I used to have. He told me that was exactly what he found attractive. I told him he was exactly what I found attractive. He wasn’t a twink, but he had that twink-adjacent energy—probably late twenties, the age I was back when I was in grad school.

Eventually the party moved from the bar to a house—everyone came along. It was the house my grad school friend used to live in behind her grandparents’ place. Later in real life, I actually rented that house myself, but in the dream it simply made sense that we were there.

At some point I was sitting on the couch. I motioned for him to come over. He sat down on my lap, straddling my legs and facing me. Everyone else seemed to fade away. It was just the two of us, knee to knee, chest to chest, crotch to crotch, close enough to feel each other’s breath. We kissed. Hands began to roam. Clothes began to shift—shirts half unbuttoned…

And then my brain, like a cruel editor, cut the scene.

I woke up annoyed, amused, and very aware that my body had been fully invested in the story. I went to the bathroom, then typed out notes about the dream before going back to bed, hoping it might resume where it left off.

It did not.

Normally I wouldn’t bother recording a dream like that, but I knew I’d forget it if I didn’t. And since I was off work today for a Botox appointment at noon, I figured I could afford a little extra sleep…even if my subconscious decided to leave me suspended in unresolved tension.

Amazingly, Isabella did let me sleep until after 5 a.m.


❄️ Snow Day ❄️

When I went to bed last night, it had been snowing all day, but not much had accumulated—maybe 2–3 inches. When I woke up this morning, that number had jumped to somewhere between 9 and 10 inches.

We were notified on Friday that if we couldn’t make it in today, we could either work from home or take a vacation day. I have absolutely no desire to work from home today—I much prefer saving that for my usual Friday. So I sat here for a while debating whether to go in. Technically, I probably could. It didn’t snow so much that getting to work is impossible, but it would definitely make for a difficult commute.

It’s still snowing, and while the roads have been plowed, they can’t keep up. Lanes are hard to see, and according to the local news’s mobile weather van, the interstate is essentially down to one lane. Speeds are hovering around 50 mph or less, well below the usual 65. That translates into a long, slow, and stressful drive.

I also didn’t sleep well last night, which tipped the scales. So I think I’ll take the other option—which is to take a vacation day.

Sometimes the wisest choice is the coziest one. ❄️


A Migraine’s Shadow

Click “2” below for the uncensored pic.

While I’m feeling better today, I’m still not 100 percent. I seem to have entered the postdrome phase of my migraine—often called a “migraine hangover.” The symptoms usually include fatigue, difficulty concentrating, head tenderness, and mood changes.

For me, I think of it as a shadow headache. The headache is still there, just not as intense—like it’s hiding in the background. I also tend to get brain fog during this phase, when thoughts and movements feel slower than usual, as if everything is happening a half-step behind.

That being said, I’m going to skip a poetry post this week. I’m just not up to writing one right now. I have class preparations and meetings today, and while I wish I could stay home another day to recover, tomorrow I’m out for my first appointment with my new neurologist at the Headache Clinic. Then it’s right back into things with a class first thing Friday morning.

Sometimes listening to your body means easing up where you can—and this week, poetry will have to wait.


It’s Monday

It’s Monday.

And honestly? I hate Mondays.

I think Garfield may have been onto something.

Garfield was right about two things: his absolute hatred of Mondays and his undying love for lasagna. Mondays arrive far too early, demand far too much, and somehow expect us to be cheerful about it. They interrupt perfectly good weekends, drag us back into responsibility, and pretend that coffee alone will fix everything.

Lasagna, on the other hand, asks nothing of us except that we enjoy it. Comfort layered upon comfort. Warm, reliable, and deeply reassuring—everything Monday is not.

So if you’re dragging yourself into this week feeling a little grumpy, a little tired, and wholly unenthusiastic, you’re in excellent company. Even a cartoon cat knew that Mondays are best approached with sarcasm, snacks, and very low expectations.

Garfield was right.

About both things.

This is a stupid video and obviously staged, but it made me laugh and brought a smile to my face. That’s not an easy feat on a Monday morning.


From My Couch to the Stars 🖖

Today is my usual Friday work-from-home day, and thank goodness for that, because our high today is expected to be 16 degrees. 🥶

I have absolutely no plans to leave my apartment. I’m staying curled up on my couch, staying warm, getting done what work I need to do, and then monitoring emails for the rest of the day.

Star Trek: Starfleet Academy premiered yesterday, and as a Star Trek fan, I watched it as soon as I could—meaning right after I got home from work. It was better than I expected, though the jury is still out. I’ll definitely keep watching, and I’m hopeful it will find its footing. It seems to have real potential.

Have a great weekend, everyone. Stay warm. 🖖❄️


Inaccurate Forecasts

Isabella woke me up way too early this morning and simply would not leave me alone. Eventually, I gave in, got up, fed her, and did something I almost never do when she wakes me before my alarm: I laid down on the couch, pulled a blanket over me, and went back to sleep.

I ended up sleeping a little longer than usual, which helped… a bit. I still don’t really want to be awake, but here we are—I have to go to work today. If I didn’t have two meetings I really don’t want to put off, I’d probably call in. Not just because I’m not feeling great, but because the weather is awful, and that almost guarantees a stressful drive in.

Last night, the news said this snow and wintery mix wouldn’t arrive until this evening. They were very explicit that my part of Vermont would be one of the last to see snow. Apparently, though, once the system crossed the mountains, it decided to ignore the forecast entirely and switched abruptly from rain to snow.

So now it’s dark and snowy, but at least it’s Thursday and tomorrow will be a work from home day. Right now, I’m just trying to convince myself that coffee will be enough to get my day started.


Quiet Morning

Some mornings the words just don’t show up, and today is one of those. My mind feels completely blank, with nothing exciting—or even mildly interesting—happening to spark a post. I’m sitting here with my coffee, staring at the screen, very aware that this is what writer’s block looks like in real time. So if this feels a little quiet, that’s why. Sometimes showing up with nothing to say is still showing up.


Monday, According to Isabella

I woke up this morning, opened one eye, and saw Isabella standing next to me, staring—clearly just about to wake me.

I closed my eye again, rolled over, and checked the time.

3:00 a.m.

Then it hit me.

Fuck. It’s Monday. I have to go to work today.

I went back to sleep, absolutely not ready to face the day.

Isabella tried again at 4:00 a.m. I ignored her. By 4:30, she was more persistent, so I constructed a pillow barrier between us and fell back asleep. That worked… briefly.

I woke again and noticed the living room light was on—a sure sign that it was after 5:00 a.m., which in Isabella’s mind means it’s time to escalate the campaign.

I checked the clock.

5:05 a.m.

Ugh.

At that point, I had no choice but to start my day.