Category Archives: Miscellaneous

Nothing…

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They used to say that the show “Seinfeld” was a show about nothing, and I think this post is too. I racked my brain to come up with a topic. I tried and tried and tried, and nothing came to me. So I decided to just write a post of randomness and nothingness. I know there is something that I could write about, but it just don’t know what it is. Sometimes you just have writers block. Often the best thing for that is a stream of consciousness, where you just write whatever comes in your head.

The other night I was thinking about how for gay men like me, who are 35 years old or older, seem so old to so many. And I will be 36 a month from today. I got to thinking about this as I was reading tweets of people I follow on Twitter. I had set up a Twitter account (@closetprofessor) a few months ago. In the past week or so, I’ve gotten some direct messages (DMs) from several younger guys. All of them were between 20 and 23. Each of them were nice and very flirty, then the question comes, “How old are you?” I answer honestly. I really detest lying, and I hate that I often have to do so to keep in the closet. I just don’t see the use in lying to someone who is a Twitter follower. So I tell them I’m 35. I had one tell me that age didn’t matter, and for the most part I believe him, and we continue to chat off and on. Another one said, “I like older guys, but 35 is at the top of my range.”

For me this is one of the problems with many guys in the gay community. Now, I wasn’t expecting or really even hoping for a romantic relationship with any of these guys. However, it never hurts to flirt a little. A lot of young gay guys are wrapped up in pop culture and it’s hard to relate, but find a gay guy who likes to talk football or even have an intellectual conversation with is not something you find everyday. Then you find someone like hat, and I honestly don’t care about their age. Age is just a number to me. It doesn’t matter how young or old you are, especially when I enjoy talking to you.

If you get passed an age difference, then you have to contend with those guys who want the perfect looking and acting gay guy. There’s a whole subset of southern gay guys who are looking for the “bromo” type. Urban Dictionary defines a bromo as:

Dudes that happen to be gay, but aren’t flamboyant at all. Prefer to go drink beer at a buddy’s place, rather than go to the gay bar and pay for overpriced cocktails and listen to bouncy, campy club songs. A bromo is not conceited in his looks, but is still put together decently, groomed but not over plucked.

Basically, the bromo type is the bow tie wearing southern gay frat dude, at least that’s what you get if you look at “bromos” on Twitter. Bromos might not be conceited about their looks, but they have “their” standards.

So, you get past the age and looks, then it goes to race. As a southerner, interracial dating is something I’ve always been told was taboo. Honestly though, does it matter the color of a person’s skin? Not to me it doesn’t. The diversity of the gay community is represented in the rainbow flag. We are a diverse group, and we should embrace that diversity. We often claim that if two people love each other, then the sex of the people should not matter. How can we justify that logic when we say that a persons age, looks, or race makes the difference?

The main thing for me is not the age, race, or looks, but what kind of person he is. Is he kind, thoughtful, and loving? Can he carry on a conversation? Is he intimidated by intelligence (I prefer they not be)? Does he enjoy the same things I enjoy? Does he like to cuddle? Is he a good kisser? There are so many things to consider that age, race, and looks take a backseat.

All of this however is a hypothetical stream of consciousness. I’ve never found a boyfriend, nor is there anyone in my sights. It’s quite possible, that I will never find someone. Then again, I might meet someone tomorrow. We never know.

I thought about deleting the first paragraph about nothingness, but then again you may read this and still think it is about nothing. If that be the case, so be it. I just sat down and started writing and this is the post that came out. And sense I have no answers to my thoughts o. These issues, then maybe it is a post about nothing.


Kilted

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After a whirlwind week at school, I took off to visit a friend of mine in Louisiana for a Halloween party. It’s a long drive just for the weekend and a party, but I’ve been promising that I would go for several years now and circumstances always prevented it. I used to host this particular Halloween party before I moved from Mississippi, so I almost feel obligated to go. It’s not like it’s the only time I get to see her. I went down for her wedding last January, and I will be joining her and some of her family and friends for a cruise this January.

Anyway, my costume this year was my kilt. Of course, I wore it the right way, with nothing on underneath (it was not as elaborate an outfit as the one above, but really just a cheap costume). It’s always fun to wear this particular costume. There were some great costumes at the party, including a young lady in bra and panties with a sledge hammer dressed as Miley Cyrus. It was a really fun party, though I probably drank a bit too much witches brew.

Anyway, I hope that things will settle down some this week, and I can answer some emails from readers of this blog. I’ve been neglecting answering emails, and now it is time that I catch up. So, if you’ve emailed me in the last week or so, I will, hopefully, get back to you in the next 24-48 hours.


Arguing with Henry Longfellow

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The title of this post is one of the best euphemisms for masturbation that I have ever seen. I knew this would have to be a quickie because I left my computer at school by accident, so I’m typing this post on my iPhone. By the way, iPhones are great for porn, LOL. You can lay in bed, watch a video while holding the iPhone in one hand, and using the other to “argue with Henry Longfellow.” I hope that all of my readers have enjoyed my week-long series of posts about masturbation.

So considering the title of this post: What is your favorite euphemism for masturbation?


Possible TMI…

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Home Alone + Bottle of Wine + Porn = A Fun Night

I had the house to myself tonight, since my roommate was away, so I took full advantage to get a bottle of wine (I rarely drink alone, but just wanted some wine), hang out in my underwear (ok, I was actually naked for most of the time), and watch a little bit of porn. We all masturbate, it’s part of life, and I needed a little stress release and decompression. I had a good, make that a great, night, but it also means that I wasn’t in the frame of mind to write a substantial post. As I am writing this I am a bit tipsy. Usually, I try not to write a post when I am drunk (not that I drink all that often), but what the hell! I enjoyed myself and wanted to share. TMI? Probably…


Sleeping In…

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I finally have a day out of school with nothing to do today. Thank you, Columbus for landing in the Americas, even if you died thinking that you had reached Asia. I will have to grade some papers today once I finally get out of bed, but at least I can grade with peace and quiet. I can’t believe that we’ve been in school for nine weeks already. I have to catch up on my grading so that I can get all of my grades posted. A teacher’s work is never done. However, I am going to enjoy sleeping late and cuddling with HRH this morning.

I hope everyone has a wonderful Columbus Day!


Nipples

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This is a totally off the wall post, but I have that prerogative on occasion. I have a thing for nipple piercings on men. It’s the only piercing I ever thought I might get, though I doubt I will ever get the nerve to do so. I think the first time I ever got turned on to a nipple piercing was a scene on a TV show. (I don’t remember what show it was but I vaguely remember it being on the Sci-Fi Channel. It was several years ago before they changed to the SyFy Channel.) One of the characters in the show, not even a main character, was making out with a girl and she sucked on his nipple piercing taking it into her mouth and pulling on his nipple. I remember thinking how incredibly sexy that looked and how incredible it must have felt. It turned me on enough that I do remember that I watched the whole series (even though I can’t remember what it was) because this was the first scene on the premiere episode.

With that being said, this is more of a mental turn on. I’ve never been with a guy who had a nipple piercing. I do find them incredibly sexy though, especially on a well-defined chest. Nice pectoral muscles on a guy, gets me every time. They don’t have to be super defined either, but just slightly defined. It’s just one of those things that drives me wild, and I just felt like sharing that bit of information, even if it might be TMI.

So tell me, is there something that totally turns you on and you can’t explain why? What drives you wild?


10 Random and Interesting Facts That Will Cheer You Up

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1. For a brief moment in time, you were a moment in someone’s life. A mere extra, passing through their thoughts in milliseconds, but milliseconds of their story nonetheless. For every person you’ve exchanged eye contact with, you have made a contribution to their existence, be it significant or not.

2. Every cow has their own best friend that they hang around every day.

3. If you took the whole solar system and shrunk it down so that the Sun was at your head and the orbit of Pluto was at your feet, Uranus would be just where you’d expect it to be.

4. During the space race, the Apollo astronauts were given sleeves in which to put their dicks and piss in a bag. The problem was that they kept slipping off, because none of them would take first two of the three size options: Small, Medium, Large.
Instead of redesigning the entire system, NASA came up with a simple solution. They relabeled them as Large, Gigantic, and Humongous. The problem was solved.

5. The man who does Winnie the Pooh’s voice spends some of his spare time ringing up children in the cancer wards of hospitals putting on Winnie’s voice and telling them how much he loves them and how brave they are.

6. The fact that you are here is amazing. When you think about your entire ancestry, how many close calls and amazing coincidences could have completely erased half your family? The fact that everything lined up JUST RIGHT in order for you to be here is absolutely amazing.

7. Wayne Allwine (the voice of Mickey Mouse) and Russi Taylor (the voice of Minnie Mouse) were married in real life.

8. Otters have a pocket in their skin to keep their favorite rock in. Otters have to use rocks to crack open the hard shells of mollusks they eat. Some otters keep the same rock their entire lives and store it in this skin flap.

9. Cats will headbutt you to show their affection. Just to remind you that they love you, cats will often gently headbutt your leg, or whatever body part they can reach. This behavior may even be a type of Territorial marking — your cat wants everyone else to know you’re taken.

10. A ‘jiffy’ is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second.


TGIF!

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It’s Friday, and I am ready to kick back with some friends and get my drink on! What are your plans for tonight?


The Joys of Babysitting

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Last night for the first time, my sister let me babysit my niece who turns six years old today. I’ve never understood why my sister does not let me babysit, but she never has. It’s always kind of hurt my feelings, but after my mother made a big deal over it, she finally asked me to babysit while she and her husband went out for their anniversary. It’s hard to believe that she’s been married to that asshole for fifteen years.

My niece was so excited to have Uncle Joe spending the evening with her that she was beside herself with anticipation. She loves her Uncle Joe almost as much as I love her. When I got there she wanted to play school. She is obviously liking school, even if her parents were afraid she wouldn’t. Why else would she want to play school, if she didn’t enjoy it? So we played school; I cooked supper; we watched a little Disney Jr; we drew shapes and pictures; and I read to her. We had a fantastic time.

I was exhausted when I left, but also exhilarated at getting a chance to spend some one-on-one time with my beautiful, sweet, and intelligent niece. We had such a great time. I love that little girl.

P.S. The picture above is of Ryan Phillippe with his daughter Ava Elizabeth, spending quality time out at the beach.


TMI QUESTIONS: I’M FALLING FOR YOU

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I’M FALLING FOR YOU
How does Fall rank on your list of favorite seasons?

Fall is my favorite season. My birthday is in fall, but most importantly, I love the weather. Alabama usually has wonderful fall weather. It’s cooler without being cold, and the scorching heat is pretty much gone. I also love the beauty of the fallen leaves.

2. What are your favorite fall fashions?

Browns and other earth tones tend to look good on my with my olive complexion and brown hair and brown eyes. Also, since I usually don’t wear short sleeve button-up shirts, it’s nice to be able to wear long sleeve shirts in relative comfort.

3. What are your favorite fall foods?

I love hearty soups and stews during the fall. A good chili or Brunswick stew are my favorites. They just seem to fit with fall for me. There are also a few foods that I can only get at this time of year, such as fresh green boiled peanuts, chestnuts, and scuppernongs. Yummy one and all.

4. Have you ever FALLEN and couldn’t get up?

Thankfully, no.

5. Fall is the start of the new TV season, which show are you most anticipating?

I’m really looking forward to the season premiere of The Big Bang Theory tonight.

6. What fall activities like apple picking, hiking, foliage trips, do you enjoy or plan on doing?

None of the above, but I will go to some football games. In Alabama, that is the quintessential fall activity.

7. Halloween is __________.

Halloween is my favorite holiday. Halloween parties are so much fun, and I love decorating for Halloween.

8. Do you dress up for Halloween?

It’s not a Halloween if you don’t dress up. This year I’m going as a Scotsman in a kilt. Anybody want to guess what will be under my kilt. Hopefully, someone will want to find out.

9. Do you have daylight savings time where you live?

Yes, and unlike most people, I enjoy the days getting shorter and darkness coming earlier. I’m such a night person.

10. Thanksgiving is __________.

Thanksgiving is delicious and filled with what I’m most thankful for, my family.

11. What’s your favorite Thanksgiving food?

Without a doubt, my favorite Thanksgiving food is pecan pie. Though if the dressing is good, I love that too.

BONUS
Do you FALL asleep after sex? Have you FALLEN out of bed while having sex?

Since my refractory period is usually relatively short, I’m usually ready to go again instead of falling a sleep. However, I certainly don’t mind curling up in a man’s arms after sex.

I’ve never fallen out of bed during sex.