Read his shirt…Not only that, but French men have the best asses.
-The Closet Professor (AKA JoeBlow)
Read his shirt…Not only that, but French men have the best asses.
-The Closet Professor (AKA JoeBlow)
As I said in my post about aphrodisiacs:
In simple terms, the “Doctrine of Signatures” is the idea that God has marked everything He created with a sign (signature). This doctrine states that herbs that resemble various parts of the body can be used to treat ailments of that part of the body.
The consumption of certain foods can invoke a powerful response to our libidos, just because of the various body parts they resemble. My favorite is probably a crème filled éclair. How can you go wrong with such a phallic symbol as that? It’s long and thick, and cream bursts from it when you bite it just the right way. Yum, Yum…
Éclairs are by far not the only sensual food. Think of asparagus, long stalks that are still crispy enough to stand when cooked correctly. Or what about carrots or any number of root vegetables. What about small potatoes that look like perfectly formed testicles. Or you can go right for a more literal interpretation. Mountain oysters and bull and sheep testicles have long been eaten for their testosterone laden potency.
There is an old story about the guy who went to a bull fight. Afterward, he sits down at a nearby restaurant to eat dinner. With much fanfare, the guy at
the table next to him is served this beautiful dish with two luscious lumps of meat, and he relishes it as he eats it. The guy asks his waiter, what is that lovely meal that guy is having, and why is he enjoying it so much. The waiter replies that it is the testicles of the bull that was slain in the arena that day. They supposedly supply the eater with the potency of a bull, and therefore, he can fuck all night. So the guy asks, how can I get that dish. He says you must be the first to order it before the bullfight, then when you arrive after the bullfight it will be served to you. Right there the guys says, well put me down for tomorrows dish, I want to see how potent these bulls testicles are. So he goes to the bullfight, but he is so excited about his meal that he leaves early. he has a few glasses of wine waiting for his meal to be prepared and arrive. Finally, the waiter tells him that it is ready. And with much fanfare, he is brought out a rather sad looking dish. On a bed of lettuce are two rather small pieces of meat. The guy looks at his waiter and says, wait a minute, why the hell are these so small, they look nothing like the dish from last night. The waiter replies, “Sometimes, the bull wins.”
In Asia, they actually go beyond the eating of the testicles of animals, but a particular delicacy that is meant to enhance the potency of a man, is an animals penis. The meaty cartilage around the penis bone (unlike humans, most animals actually do have a bone in their penis) is a sensuous meal served mainly to men to enhance their sexual prowess. Eating testicles and penises are taking the “Doctrine of Signatures” to a whole new level.
All of these foods can be used in the most sensual and exciting way, especially if your love of food and man can be mixed. I say have a Ancient Roman banquet. If you have a low table, some pillows on the floor for reclining, spread out a a feast of sensual foods that resemble the penis, the testicles, and maybe even through in some fruit like peaches that resemble a perfect ass. Then you and your partner can feed each other, make sure that you only use your hands to eat with so that it is far more of a sensual experience.
So since my friend Crothdiver over at Anything Male challenged me to a post about aphrodisiacs and the sensuality of food, here is my challenge to him:
You have mentioned several times how much you like to cook….Well, can you plan a menu (recipes included) that would be your ideal of a sensual banquet? What is the most romantic and sexually laced meal that you can come up with?
I have been challenged by crotchdiver at Anything Male to do a historical post on aphrodisiacs, and I will get to that (hopefully) later today. However, this is a post I originally did on Cocks, Asses, and More, and I thought it was pretty appropriate for the topic. So I hope you enjoy this first post which will be a series of posts on Ancient Aphrodisiacs.
Your love life is lacking, and you’re tempted to try certain foods to reignite the spark. Edible aphrodisiacs can turn up the heat in more ways than one.
Some foods are reputed to strip away inhibitions. Others claim to put you in the mood for lovemaking, and still others boast of improving blood flow to your genitals, enhancing performance and pleasure.
There’s more folklore than scientific proof to substantiate the link between food and passionate sex. But that’s no reason why you and your partner should shy away from these so-called natural love potions.
It’s a win-win situation. The most notorious food aphrodisiacs are a treasure trove of nutrients necessary for sexual prowess and good health.
Some people find produce erotic. Bananas, asparagus, cucumbers and carrots speak for themselves on that score.
Avocados, Greaves says, were prized by the Aztecs, who called them “testicle trees” because they grow in pairs. Ancient Greeks and Romans feasted on figs to promote potency. And let’s not forget pomegranates, also known as “love apples.”
Those ancient civilizations were on to something. Fruits and vegetables are loaded with vitamins and minerals required to produce sex hormones necessary for sexual arousal and pleasure.
Ever wonder where the term “honeymoon” came from?
Centuries ago, newlyweds in Europe drank honey wine during the first month of marriage to improve their sexual stamina. As a bonus, the long-ago lovebirds also got small amounts of beneficial vitamins, minerals, and antioxidants from honey.
The Aztec emperor Montezuma’s chocolate consumption is legendary. Rumor has it that he drank 50 glasses of honey-sweetened chocolate a day in the name of virility.
Perhaps Montezuma valued chocolate for its feel-good qualities, too. Cocoa beans contain phenylethamine, a compound that triggers the release of endorphins, compounds associated with pleasure.
Nowadays, cocoa powder processed without alkaline provides the biggest bang for the buck. It contains the highest levels of the antioxidants associated with lower blood cholesterol levels, reduced inflammation in blood vessels, and maximum blood flow. Darker chocolate contains more cocoa powder.
Oysters are dripping with dopamine, a compound that stirs feelings of sexual desire, and pleasure. These mollusks are also bursting with zinc, a mineral that fosters the production of testosterone, necessary for arousal and pleasure in men and women.
You may need to resist the temptation to ply your paramour with raw oysters – your romantic interlude could end with a severe case of food poisoning. Most raw oysters in the U.S. carry a bacterium called Vibrio vulnificus. Healthy people are unlikely to have adverse affects from eating raw oysters, but those with diabetes, liver disease, immune systems disorders, AIDS, and other chronic diseases can end up with a severe infection that may be fatal.
You can’t get down when you’re uptight. Eating salmon can help brighten your disposition.
“Salmon harbors an abundance of omega-3 fats, which qualifies it as a natural mood booster,” says Susan Kleiner, PhD, RD, author of The Good Mood Diet: Feel Great While You Lose Weight.
Salmon also supplies large amounts of vitamin D. Researchers at the University of Toronto have found that vitamin D appears to work in the brain like many antidepressant medications do: by raising levels of serotonin, a neurotransmitter that induces feelings of calm and banishes bad moods.
Of course, if your man caught the salmon like this….
Well, wouldn’t that be romantic, LOL?
Rich in antioxidants that protect against cell damage, garlic is said to stir sexual desire and increase blood flow, says Greaves.
Just be sure to eat as much as your bed partner, as the effects of garlic can linger on your breath for hours.
I couldn’t find a picture of men and garlic, so I figured men and a picnic would work, LOL. Also, doesn’t a man’s balls sort of resemble a garlic clove?
Nothing says seduction like popping the cork on the best bottle of bubbly money can buy, if that’s what you enjoy.
A drink a day may help reduce the risk of heart disease in healthy people, but more than that may turn your tryst into a snooze fest.
Alcohol is a central nervous system downer. Chronic drinking is linked to erectile dysfunction, which will put a damper on lovemaking.
If you enjoy foods with a reputation for making you hot to trot, you may be thinking about whipping up meals that will knock your socks off, and your partner’s.
“A delicious meal can be a prelude to sex,” Kleiner says.
The act of cooking together can be a form of foreplay, and the smell of food can ignite intimacy, too.
According to Greaves, research has shown that the aroma of pumpkin pie, cheese pizza, and buttered popcorn induced blood flow to the penis, and the combination of pumpkin pie and lavender did the best job.
The smell of vanilla is particularly alluring. “Add vanilla extract to whole grain French toast or drop a vanilla bean into your champagne,” she recommends.
If you’re not interested in any of the foods with a reputation for enhancing your love life, are you doomed to a lust-free existence? Not at all.
What matters most is that you and your partner dine on meals that include foods that you both enjoy, as long as you don’t overeat or drink yourself into a stupor, Kleiner says. She puts it this way: “What you eat on a daily basis is far more important to overall sexual satisfaction that a single meal.”
In the long run, peak physical and emotional well-being is key to a satisfying sex life.
“If you want better sex, take care of your health,” advises Judith Reichman, MD, author of I’m Not In the Mood: What Every Woman Should Know About Improving Her Libido.
You don’t need to be model-thin to have a wonderful sex life, but if you’re uncomfortable with your weight, you may not be at your best in the bedroom for a few reasons.
“Being overweight may deflate your libido, especially if you don’t feel attractive,” says Kleiner.
Extra body fat raises the specter of elevated blood glucose levels that can damage the blood vessels and nerves that allow for arousal and sexual pleasure. It also increases the risk for high blood pressure and clogged arteries.
Clear, flexible arteries allow maximum blood flow to all the right places during sex, enhancing your pleasure.
A balanced diet rich in whole grains, fruits, vegetables, legumes, and other lean protein foods helps to control your blood pressure, blood cholesterol levels, and your weight.
But don’t cut too many calories.![]()
Whatever your weight, exercise may help to ignite your love life by improving circulation, managing blood pressure, increasing energy levels, and helping you to look better, which can have a positive effect on your sex life.
And a special thanks to Got Wood? for the original inspiration for this post over on Cocks, Asses, and More.
One of the greatest influences in my life was the movie”Raiders of the Lost Ark.” I don’t remember when I first saw it, but I know I was a young child. I thought Indiana Jones had one of the most rewarding careers I had ever seen. (Though at that age, I think I still wanted to be an astronaut, until I saw the show Matlock for the first time, and I knew I wanted to be a lawyer. Besides, I am afraid of heights, being an astronaut would have never worked, LOL. Later I realized that most lawyers were nothing like Matlock or Atticus Finch, and I decided on graduate school instead.) What Indian Jones showed me was how fascinating history was, and I never lost my fascination with history and lost civilizations. One minute Indiana Jones was the consummate intellect, the next moment he was rescuing some dark-haired beauty using only his whip. Indiana Jones put adventure into history.
There are some real life archaeologists who have their own adventures, but most of them do not live terribly exciting lives. However, there is one memorable figure that everyone should know about. I was watching History Channel International yesterday (yes, that was how I was relaxing after my move into my new house, and yes, I am a geek.) Anyway, on the show that I was really only half watching they mentioned the archaeologist Professor Sir William Matthew Flinders Petrie. Apparently he was a great archaeologist, but also nuttier than a fuitcake, a few bulbs short of a chandelier, a few nuts short of a bolt, etc. you get the picture.
So I did a little research on him after it was mentioned that he surveyed and measured the pyramids of Egypt in a pink tutu. Yes, you read that correctly. I’ll get to that story shortly. After hearing that, I became more interested. Was he gay? Because quite honestly, can you think of anything gayer than a man doing his job in a pink tutu? I know it is a stereotype, but you have to admit….It does sound pretty gay. However, I did some research and there is no mention of homosexuality. In fact, there is very little mention of his personal life at all. With a little more searching though, I did find that he was married to Hilda Urlin in 1897. Hilda was 15 years his junior.
From Archaeology Dictionary: Sir William Matthew Flinders Petrie
English archaeologist who specialized in Egyptology. Born in Charlton, Kent, Flinders was educated at home by his parents and through what he could pick up himself. At an early age he developed an interest in antiquities through visits to the British Museum, and in surveying structures and earthworks under the tutelage of his father who was a civil engineer. In 1877 he published Inductive metrology and in 1880 he produced an excellent survey of Stonehenge, Wiltshire, UK, Wiltshire. These early publications stand at the head of a prodigious and wide-ranging bibliography. In 1880 he went to Egypt to survey the Great Pyramid at Giza, in 1883 becoming unpaid joint secretary and field director of the recently formed Egypt Exploration Fund, working first at Tanis.
Petrie was responsible for advances in excavation technique and artifact analysis, devising a system of sequence dating of artifacts independent of period labels. Equally important was his recognition of Mycenaean and ‘proto-Greek’ pottery in Egypt and Egyptian imports in the Aegean, which formed the basis for cross-dating between the regions. In 1897 he married Hilda Isabel, by whom he had two children. He was elected an FRS in 1902 and a Fellow of the British Academy in 1904; he was knighted in 1923. From 1892 to 1933 he was Professor of Egyptology in the University of London. After 1926, dissatisfied with conditions in Egypt, he worked in Palestine until his death in Jerusalem in July 1942.
Now… About That Tutu…
Now, I’m sure you want to know the story behind the ballerina’s tutu. Up until the 19th century there had been no accurate survey made of the Great Pyramids. The main reason for this was the danger involved. The pyramids had been ransacked so badly the locals would often beat or even kill anyone believed to be a grave robber. There was a peculiar caveat to this custom, though. Anyone violating local customs and laws that were deemed insane was to be left alone, as long as no one was being harmed. Therefore, Petrie actually wore a ballerina’s tutu while surveying so he would appear insane! Some accounts say he openly wore pink frilly underwear while working. There are also several accounts of Petrie working naked inside the pyramids to prevent any annoyances from curious tourists. Petrie was at his best when he was challenged with unique problems that required innovative solutions. This, I have found, is the core quality of most surveyors who are true to their calling.
Though Flinders Petrie is known as the “father of modern archaeology” for introducing the scientific method to archaeology, he is considered by many historians today to be just as insane as he portrayed himself to the Egyptians. He looks a little crazy to me in his pictures (the picture at the very top is not Petrie).
We will resume our discussion of the Roman Emperors tomorrow, but since we are discussing Egyptology, I thought I would do a few posts on Ancient Egypt today. I hope you enjoy. The other posts were posted first on my other blog, Cocks, Asses, and More, but I think they are too good not to also post here also.
I put the first chapter of my dissertation into “I Write Like” and this is what it said:
I have never read any of his books, have you? He is the author of the Godfather and other books about the mafia. I can’t decide if it’s a good thing or a bad thing. Any thoughts?