Category Archives: Resources

Abusus Non Tollit Usum

 
Just Because Something Is Misused Does Not Mean It Cannot Be Used Correctly.

Churches of Christ generally see the Bible as historically accurate and literal, unless scriptural context obviously indicates otherwise. Regarding church practices, worship, and doctrine, there is great liberty from congregation to congregation in interpreting what is biblically permissible, as congregations are not controlled by a denominational hierarchy. Their approach to the Bible is driven by the “assumption that the Bible is sufficiently plain and simple to render its message obvious to any sincere believer”. Related to this is an assumption that the Bible provides an understandable “blueprint” or “constitution” for the church. Historically, three hermeneutic approaches have been used among Churches of Christ.

  • Analysis of commands, examples, and necessary inferences;
  • Dispensational analysis distinguishing between Patriarchal, Mosaic and Christian dispensations; and
  • Grammatico-historical analysis.

The relative importance given to each of these three strategies has varied over time and between different contexts. The general impression in the current Churches of Christ is that the group’s hermeneutics are entirely based on the command, example, inference approach. In practice, interpretation has been deductive, and heavily influenced by the group’s central commitment to ecclesiology and soteriology. Inductive reasoning has been used as well, as when all of the conversion accounts from the book of Acts are collated and analyzed to determine the steps necessary for salvation. More generally, the classical grammatico-historical method is prevalent, which provides a basis for some openness to alternative approaches to understanding the scriptures.  Therefore, I am going to use these approaches to look at the New Testament scriptures concerning homosexuality.

The Gay Christian organization Soulforce is a wonderful resource for study, particularly, their publication, What the Bible Says–And Doesn’t Say–About Homosexuality.  The Rev. Dr. Mel White, the co-founder of Soulforce, discusses in this publication, in his “Fifth Premise,” the six biblical texts that are used by some people to condemn homosexuality.  He explains what Genesis 2:21-25 (The Creation Story), 19:1-14 (The Story of Sodom), Leviticus 18:22 and 20:13 (The Holiness Code), Romans 1:26-27 (Natural and Unnatural), and 1 Corinthians 6:9 and 1 Timothy 1:10 (The Mystery of “Malakois” and “Arsenokoitai”) says about homosexuality.  As a member of the Church of Christ, there is really no need to study what the Old Testament in Genesis and Leviticus have to say about homosexuality because those laws were overridden by the New Covenant/New Testament of Jesus Christ.  Therefore, this post will focus on the Pauline Epistles that many use to condemn homosexuality.

For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature: And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompence of their error which was meet.—Romans 1:26-27.

Paul is writing this letter to Rome after his missionary tour of the Mediterranean. On his journey Paul had seen great temples built to honor Aphrodite, Diana, and other fertility gods and goddesses of sex and passion instead of the one true God the apostle honors. Apparently, these priests and priestesses engaged in some odd sexual behaviors — including castrating themselves, carrying on drunken sexual orgies, and even having sex with young temple prostitutes (male and female) — all to honor the gods of sex and pleasure.  Did these priests and priestesses get into these behaviors because they were lesbian or gay? I don’t think so. Did God abandon them because they were practicing homosexuals? No. Read the text again.

In the Soulforce video, There’s a Wideness in God’s Mercy, the Rev. Dr. Louis B. Smedes, a distinguished Christian author and ethicist, describes exactly how the Bible says these promiscuous priests and priestesses got into this mess. Once again it has nothing to do with homosexuality:

SMEDES: “The people Paul had in mind refused to acknowledge and worship God, and for this reason were abandoned by God. And being abandoned by God, they sank into sexual depravity.”
SMEDES: “The homosexuals I know have not rejected God at all; they love God and they thank God for his grace and his gifts. How, then, could they have been abandoned to homosexuality as a punishment for refusing to acknowledge God?”
SMEDES: “Nor have the homosexuals that I know given up heterosexual passions for homosexual lusts. They have been homosexual from the moment of their earliest sexual stirrings. They did not change from one orientation to another; they just discovered that they were homosexual. It would be unnatural for most homosexuals to have heterosexual sex.”
SMEDES: “And the homosexual people I know do not lust after each other any more than heterosexual people do… their love for one another is likely to be just as spiritual and personal as any heterosexual love can be.”

Dr. Smedes is right.  We have not rejected God; we are merely trying to understand.  Our sexual orientation is not a choice, instead it is a gift from God, and we cannot change who we are.  We were born this way.  How many of you would have chosen to be gay, if you had the choice?  Would you have chosen the hardships we face as gay men and women?  Wouldn’t heterosexuality be the easier way?  “Enter ye in at the strait gate: for wide is the gate, and broad is the way, that leadeth to destruction, and many there be which go in thereat”  Matthew 7:13.  The gate for heterosexuality is wide-open and easy, but the gate for homosexuality is narrow and difficult.

Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate (malokois), nor abusers of themselves with mankind (arsenokoitai), Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God. And such were some of you: but ye are washed, but ye are sanctified, but ye are justified in the name of the Lord Jesus, and by the Spirit of our God.—1 Corinthians 6:9-11

But we know that the law is good, if a man use it lawfully; Knowing this, that the law is not made for a righteous man, but for the lawless and disobedient, for the ungodly and for sinners, for unholy and profane, for murderers of fathers and murderers of mothers, for manslayers, For whoremongers, for them that defile themselves with mankind (arsenokoitai), for menstealers, for liars, for perjured persons, and if there be any other thing that is contrary to sound doctrine; According to the glorious gospel of the blessed God, which was committed to my trust.—1 Timothy 1:8-11

These are the last two places in the Bible that seem to refer to same-sex behavior. We can combine them because they are so similar. I have underlined and put in parentheses the two words that should be examined the closest in these texts: malokois and arsenokoitai.  First let us examine the word malokois.

There have been 44 different interpretations in English of the word malokois.  Most common through history have been weaklings, effeminates, or homosexual.  I believe all of these are incorrect interpretations of the word.  Greek scholars say that in first century the Greek word malaokois probably meant “effeminate call boys.” The New Revised Standard Version says “male prostitutes.” Today in Modern Greek, the word translates to “common.”  White argues that the term is used for the word catamite, which is a fairly consistent interpretation by most Biblical scholars.  A catamite was a young hairless boy used for sexual pleasure by older men.  This derives from the more Ancient Greek practice of pederasty (remember that Corinth is in the Greek Peloponnesus).  The practice that Paul is condemning is and always has been that of pedophilia, not homosexuality.

No one has really ever known what to make of the Greek word arsenokoitai that Paul seems to have originally came up with. The exact meaning of this word is lost. It seems to have been a term created by Paul for this verse.  Rick Brentlinger, of GayChristian101.com, says:

Arseno is the Greek word for man and koite is the Greek word for bed, used euphemistically to mean having sex. We say ‘he slept with her’ when we mean, had sex with her. In the same way, koite-bed was a euphemism for having sex.

It does seem to be a compound word in which the original meaning has been lost to us.  Arseno has the same meaning today as in Ancient Greek which is man or male.  Koitai though is a little more difficult.  I am not a scholar of Ancient Greek, but I have tried to understand the use of words (historians have to do that if they want to remain as accurate as possible).  Brentlinger states that it means “bed,” whereas modern use of the word translate it to mean “looks.”  White has a differing interpretation:

As for arsenokoitai, Greek scholars don’t know exactly what it means — and the fact that we don’t know is a big part of this tragic debate. Some scholars believe Paul was coining a name to refer to the customers of “the effeminate call boys.” We might call them “dirty old men.” Others translate the word as “sodomites,” but never explain what that means.

White continues by saying that:

In 1958, for the first time in history, a person translating that mysterious Greek word into English decided it meant homosexuals, even though there is, in fact, no such word in Greek or Hebrew. But that translator made the decision for all of us that placed the word homosexual in the English-language Bible for the very first time.

The fact is, there is not clear evidence that homosexual orientation or the love between two men and two women is a sin.  The Bible is completely silent on the issue of homosexual orientation. And no wonder. Homosexual orientation wasn’t even known until the 19th century.

Remember what Shakespeare said in The Merchant of Venice (Act 1, Scene 3), that even “The devil can cite Scripture for his purpose.”

The truth about homosexuality will be discussed in my next post.


Sola Scriptura

By Scripture Alone

For me, this boils down to two very simple truths: I believe that the Church of Christ is the best path to salvation and I am comfortable with the Church of Christ. So lets examine these statements.

Congregational autonomy and leadership

Church government is congregational rather than denominational. Churches of Christ purposefully have no central headquarters, councils, or other organizational structure above the local church level. Rather, the independent congregations are a network with each congregation participating at its own discretion in various means of service and fellowship with other congregations Churches of Christ are linked by their shared commitment to restoration principles.  For me, this is one of the strengths of the Churches of Christ, not a failing as some would say.  We do not have a national or international convention, no sole authority other than the Bible to tell us how to govern our churches.  Many Protestant denominations meet and form new doctrines or reinforce old one, some even have great arguments over doctrinal practices that cause divisions within the churches. This is not so with the Churches of Christ.  For me, this means within my church, that I personally can make a change within my congregation if I can back that belief with the Bible.  My congregation knows me and loves me, so they will not abandon me. This may not be true of all Churches of Christ, but it should be.  We are to love one another.

Variations within Churches of Christ

While there is an identifiable mainstream within the Churches of Christ, there are also significant variations within the fellowship. The approach taken to restoring the New Testament church has focused on “methods and procedures” such as church organization, the form of worship, and how the church should function. As a result, most divisions among Churches of Christ have been the result of “methodological” disputes. These are meaningful to members of this movement because of the seriousness with which they take the goal of “restoring the form and structure of the primitive church.” At my church, we don’t hear sermons on hellfire and damnation, we hear sermons on how to be a better Christian; how to love our fellow men and women, and how to encourage others to do the same.

Beliefs

“If it’s not in the Bible, then these folks aren’t going to do it.”— Carmen Renee Berry, The Unauthorized Guide to Choosing a Church

Churches of Christ seek to practice the principle of the Bible being the only source to find doctrine (also known as “sola scriptura”). The Bible is generally regarded as inspired and inerrant. Also, the Churches of Christ believe strictly that the New Testament is the new covenant with God brought by Christ. Jesus, through his teachings, brought about a change in Judaism, that discarded many of the laws of the Old Testament. Therefore, those anti-gay scriptures in Genesis and Leviticus do not pertain to us today. The harshest “Christian” critics of homosexuality use the damnations of Leviticus 20:13 that states “If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood [shall be] upon them.” The laws of Leviticus and its punishments in Chapter 20 are ludicrous for us today.  The laws of civilized nations do not kill children for talking back to their parents, or any of the other myriad of capital offenses described in Leviticus 20.

Doctrine of Salvation


Churches of Christ are strongly anti-Calvinist in their understanding of salvation and generally present conversion as “obedience to the proclaimed facts of the gospel rather than as the result of an emotional, Spirit-initiated conversion”. Churches of Christ hold the view that humans of accountable age are lost because of their sins. These lost souls can be redeemed because Jesus Christ, the Son of God, offered Himself as the atoning sacrifice. Children too young to understand right from wrong, and make a conscious choice between the two, are believed to be innocent of sin. The age when this occurs is generally believed to be around 13, although it varies based on maturity.

The doctrine of salvation for the Churches of Christ is fairly simple.  Basically, it is to believe and be baptized for the remission of your sins, then live a life of example as given by Christ.  Churches of Christ generally teach that the process of salvation involves the following steps:

  1. One must be properly taught, and hear (Romans 10:17, Matthew 7:24);
  2. One must believe or have faith (Hebrews 11:6, Mark 16:15–16);
  3. One must repent, which means turning from one’s former lifestyle and choosing God’s ways (Acts 2:38, Acts 17:30, Luke 13:3);
  4. One must confess belief that Jesus is the son of God (Matthew 10:32–33; Acts 8:36–37);
  5. One must be baptized for the remission of sins (Acts 2:38; 1Peter 3:20–21; Romans 6:3–5; Mark 16:16; Acts 22:16); and
  6. One must remain faithful unto death (Revelation 2:10).

A cappella worship


The Churches of Christ generally combine the lack of any historical evidence that the early church used musical instruments in worship and the belief that there is no scriptural support for using instruments in the church’s worship service to decide that instruments should not be used today in worship. Churches of Christ have historically practiced a cappella music in worship services. And quite honestly, even if you have a church full of people who cannot sing, such as in my church, all of the voices together, and just their voices, is the most beautiful sound in this world. I have been to other churches, some that only use a piano or organ, others that have a full band: pianos, drums, tambourines, guitars, etc., and the musical instruments only drown out the beauty of the human voice. This is a personal preference of mine, but I do love a cappella music.

Personal Comfort


Also, the Church of Christ is my family. The small country congregation that I attend usually only has a maximum attendance of 25 on a good day. It is small and intimate. I have known these people all of my life, and though nearly a quarter of them are my family, the rest are like family to me. My grandmother was raised a Baptist, as so many southerners were, and she always told me that when she was baptized into the Church of Christ that it was truly like being welcomed home. I have always felt the same way. Some larger congregations of the Churches of Christ try to be more liberal in their practices to draw in a crowd, but at the same time are more conservative in their religious views. When I have attended such churches, I have not felt at home, but those churches that keep to the core beliefs of Christian love and fellowship do feel like I am entering a safe and loving place.

In the next post, I want to look at what the Bible does and does not say about homosexuality.


Quid Est Veritas

What is truth?—John 18:38

Should We Live the Good Lie?


The New York Times article “Living the Good Lie” that I references in my post yesterday discussed how many gay Christians deal with religion and homosexuality. Denis Flanigan, a psychotherapist, believes that

Some gay evangelicals truly believe that to follow their sexual orientation means abandonment by a church that provides them with emotional and social sustenance — not to mention eternal damnation. Keeping their sexual orientation a secret, however, means giving up any opportunity to have fulfilling relationships as gay men and women.

The conundrum the psychologists in the article face is what to tell their clients. Should they try to help them be straight? Should they help them stay in the closet? Should they help them come out? Which was more important, religion or sexual orientation? Warren Throckmorton, a professor at Grove City College, a Christian institution, just north of Pittsburgh said “Many theorists in the gay-affirming world have taken a view that religion is a changeable aspect of personality. But people don’t wake up in the morning and say, ‘I’ll be a Baptist instead of a Buddhist.’ Religion is the way the world makes sense to them, and for them that seems like a pretty stable attribute.” He began looking for a less polarized, more nuanced approach. Wayne Besen, the founder of Truth Wins Out, an organization devoted to debunking the ex-gay ministry, disagreed with Throckmorton, “I think Throckmorton means well and really wants to help people reconcile their faith and sexuality. However, the more appropriate way is for people to find a more moderate religion that doesn’t force them to live at cross purposes with their sexual health.” And this brings us to one of the main point of this post. If we are not entirely happy with our brand of faith, why do we not chose a more moderate religion? The reason is because, as Flanigan believed, a person’s “church provides them with emotional and social sustenance.”

Many of the men and women who have strong religious faith who cannot move past the erroneous preaching of hate instead of love find that they must continue to live in the closet, even though they acknowledge their homosexual attractions and yet refuse to live openly.  These people use the term same-sex attracted instead of homosexual.  According to Throckmorton, “They would say they have attractions to the same sex but haven’t formed their core identity around that.”

Last fall, Jim Swilley, the bishop of the Church in the Now, in Conyers, Ga., gave a moving, hourlong coming-out sermon to his congregation, his response to a spate of suicides by gay teenagers and, perhaps, to rumors in his church about his own sexual orientation. “There are two things in my life that I didn’t ask for . . . one is the call of God in my life, and the other is my orientation. I didn’t think that those two things could ever be compatible,” he told his congregation.  Swilley had been married twice.  In fact, it was his second wife, Debye, who persuaded Swilley to come out. When they started dating, Swilley told her about his attractions to men. “Let’s get married; we’ll figure it out,” Debye said. Once they agreed to divorce, he intended to remain celibate for the rest of his life and to take his secret to his grave, but Debye challenged his hypocrisy. “You tell people to experience the real God in the real world, but you’re not real,” she told him. “You don’t believe God loves you as you are.”  Swilley, who is writing a book about his experience, says that any therapy that doesn’t involve coming out is pointless. “You can’t believe the stuff I watched people go through,” he said “and they are all still gay all those years later. And all the people we married off to the opposite sex are divorced.”

After years of experimenting with various treatments, Douglas Haldeman, a psychologist who opposed is to conversion therapy and has been working with gay men recovering from those same therapies since the early ’80s, came to the same conclusion as Swilley. “The clients keep trying,” Haldeman said. “The danger is that it promotes fraudulent relationships, and their mates finally leave them.” He saw too many gay men pressuring themselves to be someone they weren’t and saw spouses trying to adapt to marriages that cheated them of emotional and sexual intimacy.

The American Psychological Association clearly stated its opposition to conversion therapy and unequivocally described homosexuality as normal. But it also offered a nuanced view of religious gay people who did not want to come out. The A.P.A. considered the kind of identity therapy proposed by Throckmorton and Yarhouse to be a viable option. No effort needed to be expended trying to change a client’s religion or sexual orientation. Therapy, in fact, was to have no particular outcome either way, other than to guide the client closer to self-acceptance, whatever the client believed that to be. The difference between sexual orientation and sexual identity was microscopically parsed. “Acceptance of same-sex sexual attractions and sexual orientation may not mean the formation of an L.G.B. sexual-orientation identity,” the report stated. “Alternate identities may develop instead.” It further stated that acting on same-sex attractions might not be a fulfilling solution for everyone.

In their solution, or more likely non-solution, the A.P.A. is guiding therapists with no true map.  Each persons psychological make-up is different.  They tend to want to find an easy answer when there is not one.  I personally do not believe that a life in the closet is a healthy solution, because you are lying to yourself which destroys you from the inside.  I also do not believe that abandoning my faith was ever a viable option.  I never once considered it.  I did on occasion consider finding a more moderate church, but the fact that I was raised in the Church of Christ did not make this a viable option for me and my faith in God.  A true member of the Churches of Christ is not likely to go find another church that believes something that is not in the New Testament scriptures.  The Churches of Christ (and the Stone/Campbell restoration movement as a whole) was founded because the Presbyterian Church of which Thomas Campbell was a member met to lay judgment on each of its members on a weekly basis in order to determine if  they should be allowed to partake in the Eucharist/Communion or not.  Campbell felt that God was the only judge of our faith, not man, and therefore wrote the The Declaration and Address of the Christian Association of Washington which was a starting point for the Campbell–Stone Movement, leading to the development of the Christian Church (Disciples of Christ), the Churches of Christ and the Independent Christian Churches/Churches of Christ.

The particular beliefs of the Churches of Christ and why I hold them so dear are the topics of my next post.


The Churches of Christ and Homosexuality

An Introduction

A friend recently sent me two articles from the New York Times about homosexuality and religion.  These articles were published in print in the Sunday Magazine (pg. MM30) on June 19, 2011.  More about that later, but it made me think back on the struggles that I faced (and to some extent still do) about my own Christianity and homosexuality.  I am a member of the Churches of Christ.  Most people consider it to be a very conservative church.  Churches of Christ are autonomous Christian congregations associated with one another through common beliefs and practices. They seek to base doctrine and practice on the Bible alone, and seek to be New Testament congregations as originally established by the authority of Christ.  When I began to become aware of my sexual orientation, I began to question also what it would mean to be gay and Christian.  Not everyone who comes out has this struggle, but if you grew up in a religious family, then this is a very vexing question.  I began to look for resources online.  Was there a support group for gay members of the Church of Christ?  How did the church receive homosexuals?  What would other members of the church think if they knew I were gay?  What should I do?  What does the Bible say about homosexuality?  It was all very confusing and also difficult to find answers related specifically to the Church of Christ. One reason for this is if you Google homosexuality and the Church of Christ, then you are likely to come up with a wide range of sources for the United Churches of Christ.  So I had to dig deeper.  Ten years ago there were plenty of sites for larger church organizations, but really nothing for the Church of Christ.  Even today there is still very little out there.  There are several references to a a group called the A Cappella Chorus, a group formed in 1979 by gay and lesbian members of the Houston area Churches of Christ as a fellowship to provide educational and spiritual support to each other and the Church as a whole.   According to the information I found: “Since [1979], additional fellowships have formed in many large urban centers. Named an A Capella Chorus because most congregations of our fellowship have no instrumental music, the organization also serves as a network for gay people in small towns and rural areas.” However, I cannot find anything current on this group other than a few anti-gay rants by members of the Church of Christ from 1986.  Apparently there were “chapters” in at least four cities: Houston, Los Angeles, Seattle, and Tampa, and they published a monthly newsletter.  If they are still out there, I can’t find them on the internet, and this was the closest I came to finding a group of GLBT church members, other than rumors of a Gay/Straight Alliance at Pepperdine University and a group of GLBT Harding University alumni who wrote The State of the Gay at Harding University published through a group called HU Queer Press.  According to HU Queer Press:

Welcome to HU Queer Press and The State of the Gay! We are made up of a variety of queers with varying affiliations with Harding University. The State of the Gay is a self-published zine that aims to give voice to the experiences of gay and lesbian students at Harding. It is part storytelling, part religious and political critique, and partly a manifesto of hope for Harding’s future. The voices enclosed are the unedited and uncensored voices of individuals who are all too familiar with censorship. In truth, there is no single, identifiable goal of this zine other than to put our voices out there.

With so little to be found out there positive for gay and lesbian members of the Church of Christ, I wanted to write a series of post that would not only examine homosexuality and the Churches of Christ, but also to to discuss homosexuality and Christianity as a whole.  I wanted to share with you the fruits of my research, the journey I took, and how I will proceed on my journey.  I also wanted to establish a place where others questioning their sexuality or homosexual members of the Church of Christ could go to get answers.  I don’t have all of the answers, but I want to connect with other members of the Church of Christ and begin a discussion.  I also would like a discussion of religion and sexuality in general.
I know that some of you are not religious.  You have questioned me about this before and to some extent criticized me for my Christianity.  I will not be apologetic about it.  I do hope that all of you will read these posts and that we can have a genuine discussion.  And if you are asking why I don’t simply find a more accepting church, I will answer that in this series of posts.
I am a Christian and at the core of my belief and faith is contained within the following Bible verses that I do my best to always keep in my mind:

Judge not, that ye be not judged.  For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again.  Matthew 7:1-2

And as ye would that men should do to you, do ye also to them likewise. Luke 6:31

Master, which is the great commandment in the law? Jesus said unto him, “Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.  This is the first and great commandment.  And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.”  Matthew 22:36-40

And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free. John 8:32

I also want to leave you with this from Wikipedia (I know it is not always a great source) about homosexuality and the Churches of Christ:

Except for the Bible, there is no universal belief, creed, or confession of faith among the various independent Churches of Christ. Congregations of the Church of Christ, each individually led by local elders or pastors, set policy for their own individual congregations. Members believe they become a part of the Church of Christ when they are added by God as believing, confessing, repentant persons immersed in water (Baptism) for the forgiveness of sins. A confession of faith precedes baptism but does not include a declaration or denunciation of homosexuality. Most persons within the international fellowship of autonomous congregations would likely believe that homosexual activity is incompatible with living a faithful Christian life. Positions taken by Churches of Christ, through various church related publications and from church affiliated colleges and Universities, are almost unanimous in their opposition to homosexuality in any form. No congregations that condone homosexuality are known to exist; however, views on the issues of homosexuality and same-sex marriage among individual members range widely from very conservative to progressive. Marriage is not believed to be a sacrament of the church, and members are not required to be married “in the church”, though the practice is common.
Many Churches of Christ are beginning to address this issue with an open and compassionate approach. Several universities associated with the fellowship have held forums and conferences to address the issue and to open up discussion on the approach Christians should take toward homosexuality.
Openly gay and lesbian persons will find it difficult to find a congregation willing to include them in church life if they are unrepentant of what the church considers an ungodly lifestyle. Even openly gay baptized believers who are celibate, though unwilling to change their beliefs concerning homosexuality, may find it difficult to be accepted. The “disfellowshipping” of gay and lesbian persons from congregations is not unheard of. However, many urban and even small-town congregations are actively opening dialog with and seeking to minister to the gay population in their locales.

The first substantive  post of this series will be tomorrow and will examine what others are saying about how to deal with religion and homosexuality.  


A few brief notes about these posts:

    1. I will refer to the Churches of Christ as either the Churches of Christ or Church of Christ.  To be absolutely correct, when referring to the Churches of Christ one should not capitalize church, and it world-wide congregations should be referred to as “the churches of Christ.”  However, this can be a bit deceiving and/or misleading, so I will used the capitalized version.
    2. The Churches of Christ do not consider themselves Protestants, nor do they refer to the world-wide congregations as a denomination.  In fact, this is a practice recognized by the government of the United States.  If you enter the military and are issued dog tags, they usually place your religion on there: Jewish, Catholic, Orthodox Christian, Protestant, etc.  If you are a member of the Churches of Christ, then they are only allowed to put “Christian” and cannot put Protestant.
    3. Though the Disciples of Christ and the Christian Church are also part of the Stone/Campbell Restoration Movement.  I am not an authority on those historically linked churches (I won’t even say that I am an authority on the Churches of Christ, but it has been my church for 33 years, and I have been a member for 21 years).  For the differences see the Wikipedia articles on the historically related Independent Christian Churches/Churches of Christ and Disciples of Christ or the less historically related United Church of Christ.
Here are links to the full series in order:
  1. Quid Est Veritas (What is truth?John 18:38)
  2. Sola Scriptura (By Scripture Alone)
  3. Abusus Non Tollit Usum (Just Because Something Is Misused Does Not Mean It Cannot Be Used Correctly.)
  4. Veritas Vos Liberabit (The Truth Shall Set You Free—John 8:32)
  5. Deus Caritas Est, Veritas Est Amor (God is Love, Truth is Love)
  6. Vince Malum Bono (Overcome Evil with GoodRomans 12:21)
  7. Via, Veritas, Vita (The Way, The Truth, and The Life—John 14:6)


GLBT bloggers UNITED in SILENCE!

On April 15th, I will be joining GLBT bloggers across the nation for a tremendous cause (at least I hope many of them will be doing it again this year), the National Day of Silence which is aimed at preventing anti-LGBT name-calling, bullying and harassment in schools.
silenced
The National Day of Silence brings attention to anti-LGBT name-calling, bullying and harassment in schools. Each year the event has grown, now with hundreds of thousands of students coming together to encourage schools and classmates to address the problem of anti-LGBT behavior.

I will not be able to practice this at school since I am a teacher and must teach throughout the day.  I will however continue my efforts to stop the use of derogatory language and the bullying LGBT kids. Since my school would never understand being silent for a day, I have decided that instead of blogging this Friday, there will only be this post (even though I usually do not post on Fridays anyway.)

For someone who suffered unmercifully throughout my school years, this is an important issue for me. When I was sixteen, I even tried to commit suicide to end the daily torture I endured. Luckily, I was unsuccessful and learned to love myself and do my best to ignore the ignorance around me. It’s not easy being a gay kid in the Southern United States, especially in redneck central.

I have done my best to stop anti-LGBT name-calling, bullying, and harassment, and my straight friends know that there are certain things you just don’t say around me. I will not tolerate: “That’s so gay!” or the words “fag,” “faggot,” or even “queer” if it’s said in a derogatory fashion. If we all stood up for ourselves, we can make a difference. When you hear someone use a derogatory word towards LGBT people, make a stand and show that person how wrong they are. If I can make one young persons life a little easier by stopping ignorance, I believe I have made a difference.

On the National Day of Silence hundreds of thousands of students nationwide take a vow of silence to bring attention to anti-LGBT name-calling, bullying and harassment in their schools.


National Day of Silence

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The National Day of Silence is almost here! It’s time to pump up the excitement and to make sure everyone is prepared!

  • Spread the word: You’ve may have worked for weeks to get the word out about the Day of Silence, so keep it going! Make sure students, teachers and administrators in your school know that the Day of Silence is happening and what to expect from participants. Notifying people early is the key to a successful and effective Day of Silence!
  • Be visible: Red is the official DOS color, so if everyone participating wears red you’ll be sure to stand out. And don’t forget t-shirts, buttons, stickers, face-paint—these are all ways you can help draw attention to your action.
  • Be respectful: The Day of Silence is about ending anti-LGBT bullying and harassment in school. To do this, it’s important to treat people with respect. There are likely people at your school who will try to challenge your silence, your activities or your beliefs. Treat these people not as they treat you but with the same respect you hope to be treated with. Remember, the Day of Silence is a peaceful demonstration!
  • Know your rights: Remember, you DO have the right to remain silent between classes and before/after school. You do NOT have the right to ignore your teachers’ requests during instructional time. If a teacher asks for you to speak during class, do it! Please don’t put your education at risk. Review this document, which outlines some of your rights during the Day of Silence. (Lambda Legal PDF Download)

If you have any questions or ideas, or if you want to tell the organizers what you’re planning for your Day of Silence please email them at info@dayofsilence.org.

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Are Gay Guys Obsessed with Sex?

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I was inspired to write this post by a post  from Davey Wavey’s  always inspiring blog, Break the Illusion.

Many guys are obsessed with sex, gay or straight, it doesn’t matter.  And contrary to what many people believe women are just as obsessed with sex.  Gay men do often get stereotyped as the world’s biggest horn dogs, but there are good reasons for this.

For one, we’ve got plenty of testosterone. Gay or straight, testosterone does increase the sex drive. When the hormones start flowing in our teenage years, a fascination with the human body emerges, and soon after we figure out how to masturbate and the world changes for us. For straight guys, they become fascinated with women, and the world accepts them and welcomes them to the world of machismo. For gay guys,  we become fascinated with men, and we are told that we are perverts and should be ashamed of ourselves. When it comes down to it, gay men and straight men are no less obsessed with sex, it’s just the amount that we get to show our obsession.  Gay teenagers often have to hide this obsession and it just grows until there is a point where we are able to express it.  Often this point becomes our slutty phase. 

The expression of that obsession, though, may be a bit different. Women experience tremendous pressure to refrain from promiscuous sex. If a woman has many sex partners, she’s labeled a slut or a whore. If a man has many sex partners, he’s labeled a stud – and his buddies might give him a high-five. Sexual promiscuity among men isn’t as taboo as it is among women, and in some ways, I think this gives men a mental green light. And when you have two men with mental green lights together, well… there’s no brakes.

So we might have lots of testosterone, less of a stigma on promiscuity and no path to marriage – but I wonder how much more sex we’re actually having? Are gay men actually more promiscuous?

It’s worth noting that there are plenty of gay men that aren’t promiscuous (I’ve been through my slutty phase and I’m not very promiscuous anymore.). And that the sex-obsessed label that is applied to our community isn’t accurate for all people, everywhere. It’s obviously a stereotype. It’s also worth noting that I don’t think promiscuous sex is necessarily a bad thing, so long as the parties involved find it fulfilling – and, of course, that it is practiced safely.

When all is said and done, I think the obsession with sex isn’t a gay thing. It’s a human thing. I think that in our younger days, we often deny ourselves, sometimes even denying who we are.  When we finally comes to terms with who we are, we can go wild a lot of the time.  Think of it like this, it was always the preachers daughter who was the wildest.  They are constantly denied, then when the got the chance they went wild.  I think a lot of us as gay men are the same way.  We finally free ourselves of our mental restraints and then we are able to explore more freely.

What do you think? Are gay guys obsessed with sex?


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The Checkum Campaign

The Checkum Campaign aids to educate men of testicular cancer – diagnosing, testing, treatments by using famous celebs in the nude!  I hope they get your attention like they got mine.  Besides, give yourself (or better yet, if you have a partner, let him give you a testicular exam).  It can be very nice fondling your balls, and you can save them by catching testicular cancer early.
Do you know how to perform a Testicular Self Exam?  If you don’t here is a quick guide:

Testicular self examination (TSE)

Testicular cancer is usually curable. It’s also easier to treat when it’s found early.
From puberty onwards it’s important that men check their testicles regularly (once a month) for anything unusual like a lump or swelling. When you do this you’ll soon get to know what feels normal for you.

The best time to check your testicles is during or right after a warm bath or shower, when the scrotal skin is relaxed. Hold your scrotum in the palm of your hand and use your fingers and thumb to examine each testicle. Feel for lumps, anything unusual, or differences between your testicles. It’s normal for the testicles to be slightly different in size and for one to hang lower than the other.
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Testicular self examination

A normal testicle should feel smooth and firm (not hard). The epididymis (tube that carries sperm) lies at the top of the back part of each testicle. It feels like a soft coiled tube. It’s not uncommon to get harmless cysts or benign lumps in the epididymis.
 

What to do if you notice a lump or something different

Lumps or swellings can be caused by other conditions, and most lumps aren’t cancer. But it’s very important that you have anything unusual checked by your doctor as soon as possible. Doctors are used to dealing with problems like this on a regular basis. Remember that testicular cancer is nearly always curable, particularly when it’s found and treated early.
 

Symptoms of testicular cancer

The most common symptom is a lump in a testicle. But there may also be other symptoms depending on whether the cancer has spread outside the testicle.
Symptoms can include:

  • swelling or a lump in a testicle, which is usually painless – occasionally the swelling may suddenly increase in size and become painful
  • pain or heaviness in the scrotum.

If the cancer has spread to the lymph nodes or other parts of the body there may be some of the following symptoms:

  • pain in the back, groin, or lower abdomen – this can be caused by the spread of the cancer to lymph nodes in the back of the abdomen
  • a cough or breathlessness if lymph nodes in the chest area are affected, or rarely if the cancer has spread to the lungs
  • nipple/breast tenderness or breast swelling (gynaecomastia) – this isn’t common but can be caused by hormones produced by the cancer.

If you have any of these symptoms it’s important to have them checked by your doctor – but remember, they can be caused by other conditions.
Go to the second part of the post to see the naked celebrities used by Checkum in their testicular cancer awareness campaign.

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Gay and homeless: In plain sight, a largely hidden population

Every year, hundreds of gay youths end up on the streets of L.A. County, where they make up a disproportionate share of the people under 25 who are homeless. ‘They haven’t been on the streets for years and years,’ an advocate says, ‘so they don’t look bad.’

By Alexandra Zavis, Los Angeles Times

December 12, 2010

The city hipsters sipping expensive coffee and chatting on cellphones did not give a second look at the two young men cutting across a Hollywood courtyard on their way to bed down in a nearby park.

imageAJ, 23, and his boyfriend, Alex, 21, hide their blankets and duffel bags in bushes. They shower every morning at a drop-in center and pick out outfits from a closet full of used yet youthful attire.

“If I could be invisible, I would,” AJ said. “I feel ashamed to admit that I’m homeless.”

Every year, hundreds of gay youths end up alone on the streets of Los Angeles County, where they make up a disproportionate share of the at least 4,200 people under 25 who are homeless on any given day.

PHOTO GALLERY: On the streets of Hollywood with AJ and Alex

A recent study found that 40% of the homeless youths in Hollywood, a gathering spot for these young people, identify themselves as gay, lesbian, bisexual or unsure of their sexual orientation. Five percent say they are transgender.

imageBut it is a largely hidden population, said Simon Costello, who manages the drop-in center frequented by AJ and Alex.

“They haven’t been on the streets for years and years,” he said, “so they don’t look bad.”

Blending in is part of how AJ and Alex survive on the streets. Police officers are quick to issue tickets, and the streets are full of predators.

In recent weeks, a Times reporter and a photographer spent time with several gay homeless men in their early 20s.

The men agreed to speak openly about their lives, including illegal drug use and other criminal activity, on the condition that their full names not be used. Using public records and other sources, The Times was able to independently verify some details they shared about their family histories.

***

imageGay and transgender youths become homeless for the same reasons as others their age. Many come from families with a history of abuse, neglect, addiction, incarceration or mental illness. But they say their sexual or gender identity often plays a role in the breakdown of their families.

“Queer” was among the more polite names Christopher was called while growing up, before he even knew what the barbs meant.

A slight 22-year-old with a shock of red hair, he said he stood out in his large Latino family in Pacoima, a place he calls “the ghetto of the Valley.”

“My cousins were gangbangers,” he said. “They’re talking about girls and parties … and I knew in middle school that I liked boys and wanted to hold their hands.”

At school, classmates would pelt him with food and milk cartons. To dull the hurt, he turned to alcohol and drugs. He stole money from his grandmother, swallowed his brother’s medication and cut himself with razors.

When he turned 18, he said, his grandmother kicked him out of the family home. She filed a restraining order against him in court.

image“I been hearing about my peers committing suicide because of the teasing and bullying … and of course I understand,” he said, staring at a web of scars on his left forearm. “But then I go, ‘How come that’s not my story? Why didn’t you kill yourself? How did you make it through all that?'”

Christopher said that on his first night without a roof over his head, he shared a drink with two men who took turns raping a girl who had passed out on the side of a highway.

Soon he was selling his body on Santa Monica Boulevard to support a methamphetamine habit. He and his friends used the drug to stay awake, he said, so they would not get jumped. They shared a room and a soiled mattress in an abandoned building. “No plumbing, no electricity,” Christopher said.

***

imageAJ was just 16 when his Vietnamese immigrant father told him to get out of his house, unable to accept his admission that he was gay. Any effeminate gesture, AJ said, would drive his father to beat him.

For a time, AJ moved between the homes of friends and relatives in California and Colorado while he worked a succession of jobs. Some paid well enough for him to get his own apartment. But, he said ruefully, “It has been hard to sustain my sobriety.”

When he was fired from his last job in July, he had no place to go but the streets.

He met Alex at the drop-in center operated by the L.A. Gay and Lesbian Center. Tired of his father’s drunken rages, Alex left his home in El Paso in June and caught a train to Los Angeles with a friend. He thought there would be more opportunities here. After two weeks, his backpack was stolen along with the only possessions he had with him. He still hasn’t found work.
AJ and Alex bonded quickly. Both lost their mothers to drug overdoses and struggled to be accepted by their fathers.

imageOn a recent night, the couple headed to a park, one of their favorite spots to while away time during the hours the drop-in center is closed. The restrooms are open late. Friendly neighbors stop to chat while walking their dogs; once, they ordered pizza for them.

They spread a sleeping bag on the lawn, then pulled out a bottle of cheap gin, which they mixed with diet Mountain Dew. They said they collected store gift cards, which are offered by many institutions as incentives to attend therapy sessions, then traded them in for cash to buy the beverages.

“We’re not alcoholics,” Alex said. But sometimes their life is difficult, he said, “and we have to numb it down.”

Soon they were singing along to songs stored on a cellphone with no service. As they neared the end of the bottle, AJ became by turns angry and despondent. All he could think about was getting high, but he did not have the cash to buy crystal meth.

“Let’s go,” he told Alex. “I want to prostitute myself.”

Alex tried to distract him with a bite of hamburger, but AJ pushed it away and groaned.

Finally, they crawled underneath some bushes to go to sleep. As they curled up in each other’s arms, cheerful chatter wafted over them from a late-night picnic, punctuated by the thwacks of tennis rackets hitting a ball on an illuminated court.

***

imageFor some gay youths alienated from their families, the foster care system provides sanctuary. But too often, said Costello, the L.A. Gay and Lesbian Center’s associate director for children, youth and family services, they bounce between foster parents and group homes until they turn 18. Once emancipated, they have nowhere to go.

Jonathan, a gregarious 21-year-old with a marijuana leaf tattoo on his arm, said he had more than 20 placements between the time he was removed from his parents’ home at 5 and aged out of foster care three years ago.
“I had anger management issues,” he said.

When he was 9, Jonathan said, one of his foster mothers left him alone with two men who raped him.

“I used to hate gay people because of what happened to me,” he said.
But he recently told his best friend that he is bisexual. They were in a cell waiting to see a judge about a pair of tickets they’d been issued for riding a train without paying.

imageJonathan said he has lost track of the number of times he has been arrested. He hangs out in skateboard parks and often sleeps on a rooftop, where he feels safe.

The first thing he does when he wakes up is reach for a marijuana pipe. Staring through the pungent haze from his spot on the pavement early one morning, he had a commanding view of the Hollywood Hills.

“You see those houses on the hill?” he said. “I’m a have one of those one day.”

***

imageGetting off the streets is a challenge for many of these young people. The L.A. Gay and Lesbian Center is one of several Hollywood organizations that assist homeless youths. Among them, there are only about 200 beds available.
Christopher credits the center — and the kindness of a teacher who took him into her home for a time when he was being bullied — with keeping him alive.
But it has not been easy. Soon after he was admitted to a transitional living program operated by the center, he was kicked out for getting into a fight with his boyfriend. Months later, Christopher asked the center for another chance.

“I was so tired … so broken and hopeless,” he said. “I was desperate for something different.”

With their help, he completed a rehab program, passed the high school equivalency test and moved into a sober-living home. He now works part time dispensing frozen yogurt and has a tiny apartment of his own.
“I’m a part of society,” he said. “I couldn’t be any happier.”

imageJonathan says he isn’t sure that he wants to go into transitional housing — too many rules. But he has plans. He would like to go to college, maybe become a doctor or a lawyer so he can help others like himself.

“Things are going to work out,” he said. “Remember this face.”

AJ has promised Alex he will stop doing crystal meth. They are looking for work, but are finding it difficult without an address.

AJ was diagnosed with depression and applied for a bed at a shelter operated by a mental health center. But when two beds became available one morning, the staff had no way to reach him. By the time he checked in with the center that afternoon, the spots had been snapped up.

A few days later, there was good news. Another bed was available. AJ, worried that Alex could not cope alone on the streets, made his boyfriend take the bed. They held hands on the bus and kissed goodnight outside the metal gates.

imageTo be close to Alex, AJ started sleeping under a nearby bridge. There were rats and piles of trash. He spread cardboard on the ground before putting down a blanket. His last $2 went to buy a bottle of vodka. When that was gone, he grabbed another bottle from a supermarket shelf and sprinted out the door.
He tried to bum a cigarette off a passerby, but the man ignored him. Furious, AJ threw down the backpack in which he had stuffed the bottle, then burst into tears as vodka seeped onto the pavement.

Spending a night apart from Alex, “it seems so small,” he said later. “But when you have nothing but each other, it’s huge.”

PHOTOGRAPHS BY: Christina House / For The Los Angeles Times


Those Dark Days

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Chances are that if you are reading this blog, then you are part of the GLBT family and chances are that you have experienced these dark days. Those days when you just want to sit down and cry, or when the only thing that you feel like doing is curling up into a ball and staying in bed.  With Thanksgiving this week in America and the Christmas holiday season just around the corner, many of us will be dealing with our families.  I love my family, so don’t get me wrong, but for me and many GLBT people dealing with family and the questions about your personal life can be very depressing.  I know that I have had these feelings depression and not just at the holiday season and statistics show that most GLBT people experience depression at a greater amount than heterosexual people.  Here are a few of those statistics:

* In a study of depression and gay youth, researchers found depression strikes homosexual youth four to five times more severely than other non-gay peers.

* Gay and lesbian youth are 2 to 3 times more likely to attempt suicide than heterosexual young people.

* Several studies suggest that gay men, lesbians and bisexuals appear to have higher rates of some mental disorders compared with heterosexuals, although not to the level of a serious pathology. Discrimination may help fuel these higher rates.

* Higher rates of major depression, generalized anxiety disorder and substance use or dependence in lesbian and gay youth.

* Higher rates of recurrent major depression among gay men.

* Higher rates of anxiety, mood and substance use disorders, and suicidal thoughts among people ages 15 to 54 with same-sex partners.

* Higher use of mental health services in men and women reporting same-sex partners.

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The following information is from:

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Depression and mental health among GLBT people

Introduction

Everyone gets sad sometimes, and sometimes it feels worse than at other times. Sometimes people feel depressed or sad because something stressful has happened in their lives–like losing a job or the death of a loved one. Even a good thing can make a person feel overwhelmed if it is stressful enough. And sometimes people get depressed for no obvious reason.

Millions of Americans, both gay and straight, transgender and non-transgender, have emotional or psychological problems of some sort during their lives. While we know that homosexuality, bisexuality, and transgender identity are not mental illnesses, the stresses caused by society’s negative messages, condemnation, and violence can sometimes result in depression and other types of emotional difficulties for GLBT persons.

The research on homosexuality is very clear. Homosexuality is neither mental illness nor moral depravity. It is simply the way a minority of our population expresses human love and sexuality. Studies of judgment, stability, reliability, and social and vocational adaptiveness all show that gay men and lesbians function every bit as well as heterosexuals.

— American Psychological Association

What is clinical depression?

Clinical depression is a medical illness that attacks both the mind and the body. It may be far more complex an illness than most people recognize. Depression can cause significant chemical changes to the brain that may make it difficult for many people to overcome it without some time of professional help or treatment.

Depression is not the same as feeling blue or sad–those feelings are a normal part of life. In clinical depression people feel bad for prolonged periods of time–weeks or months. People who are depressed often find it difficult to concentrate. Sometimes they feel like they are on an emotional roller-coaster, sometimes they have trouble getting sad or anxious thoughts out of their minds, and sometimes they just have no energy at all.

Depressed people sometimes have significant weight changes, either up or down. They may have difficulty sleeping, especially in the early morning. Some depressed people sleep more than usual. Sexual interest may decrease.

Untreated, depression can last for months or even years. It may resolve by itself, but it often reoccurs. With treatment, those who suffer from depression often report significant relief within 4-6 weeks.

“Many depressed people feel that they could ‘snap out of it’ if only they could work things out in their head. That’s unrealistic. Depression is an illness. Just as people with AIDS or cancer cannot ‘snap out of’ their illness, people suffering from depression cannot will themselves to recover.”

~ Peter Shalit, MD, PhD

Is clinical depression treatable?

Clinical depression is readily treatable with counseling and medication. Many people suffer needlessly from depression because they don’t seek treatment. They may feel that depression is a personal weakness, or try to cope with their symptoms alone.

If you are feeling depressed, and have been for over a month, you should consider seeking professional help from a gay-positive (or trans-supportive) therapist, doctor, psychiatrist, or other health care provider. There are plenty of mental and other health professionals who will support you and guide you towards being a happy and healthy GLBT person-you deserve nothing less. If you are looking for a gay-supportive counselor, ask friends for referrals or call a local GLBT-friendly mental health agency.

A study performed by the National Institutes of Mental Health showed that after 16 weeks of psychotherapy, 55% of those with mild to moderate depression reported significant improvement. Different people react in different ways to various types of counseling, but cognitive therapy–in which you learn to recognize and replace depressive thinking–can be particularly effective for people experiencing depression.

When there is a chemical component to depression, antidepressant medication can help to correct the chemical imbalance (low levels of brain serotonin and norepinephrine). People with moderate to severe depression are most likely to benefit and improve from the use of medication. Many different types of antidepressants have been developed-if one doesn’t work for you, another one probably will. Some studies have shown that combinations of antidepressant drugs and good psychotherapy may be the best approach.

Depression and suicide

Sometimes people become so depressed that they think about harming or killing themselves. These thoughts and actions can be “passive”–like not wanting to wake up in the morning or wishing to disappear, as well as “active”–like taking pills, cutting oneself or shooting oneself. When suicidal thoughts or acts are present, it’s a good indication that the person may be struggling with a very serious depression.

If you are thinking about hurting yourself or have laid out a suicide plan, please get help immediately. Call a friend, your doctor or your local crisis telephone service. You are not alone and although it may be hard to imagine right now, these feelings will pass and you will be glad you did seek help. If you’re in King County and want to speak with someone right away, call the Crisis Clinic at 206-461-3222 any time of the day or night.

If you have a friend or loved one who is thinking about suicide, talk to them about it openly and help them get some professional help as quickly as possible. Asking about suicide does not make it more likely that a person will harm themselves–often people find it a great relief to finally have someone to talk to.

Tips for handling depression

  • Try to accept your depression as an illness. You cannot will the depression away.
  • Try to do things that you enjoy–visit friends, get a massage, take a class–to get your mind off what may be contributing to the depression and to focus on things that help you feel better.
  • Delay any big decisions or changes that involve work, love or money until you feel better.
  • It’s common to be forgetful when you’re depressed, stressed out or anxious. Take notes and make lists. Your memory will improve when you feel better.
  • Waking through the night is very common. It’s better to get out of bed until you feel sleepy again. Repeated awakening in the early morning without being able to return to sleep easily is a sign that medical evaluation is needed.
  • Mornings are often the worst time. The day usually gets better towards evening.
  • Avoid being home alone for long periods–the depressive thoughts can get worse when no one is around.
  • Get outside at least once a day for a walk. Light to moderate exercise of any kind can be very helpful to your recovery.
  • Don’t try to “medicate” yourself with alcohol, marijuana or other drugs. These drugs may actually make you more depressed than you were to begin with.

What do if someone you love is depressed

It can be difficult to be around a friend who is depressed. You may feel helpless and sometimes angry, particularly if the person is irritable and doesn’t respond when you reach out. Keep reminding yourself that the person is ill, and doesn’t mean to be hurtful or unresponsive.

You can’t relieve clinical depression with love alone any more than you can cure heart disease or diabetes with just love. People who are depressed need professional help, and some require medication.

On the other hand, social support improves treatment results in many serious illnesses including depression. Reach out to your depressed friend so that he or she knows that you care. Call. Send affectionate notes. Invite the person to dinner, movies, ball games, parties, and other events. But keep your expectations low. Even if your friend doesn’t respond, you can be sure that he or she appreciates your attempts.

Who is at risk for clinical depression?

Clinical depression is similar to heart disease and cancer in that everyone is potentially at risk for each. If you have a family history of one of these illnesses, your susceptibility increases. This explains why some people develop a clinical depression only after a large, stressful event, while others develop clinical depression seemingly out of the blue.

Young adults (18-25) are more prone to depression than people in midlife-perhaps because of the particular stressors of separating from one’s family and learning to live on one’s own. Elderly people also have higher rates of depression than people in midlife.

People who abuse alcohol may become depressed–and excessive use of alcohol often indicates that a person is “self-medicating” a depression. But alcohol and related drugs like valium and barbiturates are themselves depressants, and just make problems worse.

Depression screening questionnaires

This screen questionnaire is not designed to provide an actual diagnosis of depression. For that, you will need a complete clinical evaluation by a psychiatrist or other health care professional.

  1. I am unable to do the things I used to do.
  2. I feel hopeless about the future.
  3. I can’t make decisions.
  4. I no longer enjoy the things I used to find fun.
  5. I am losing or gaining weight.
  6. I get tired for no reason.
  7. I am sleeping too much, or too little.
  8. I feel worthless and unhappy.
  9. I become irritable or anxious.
  10. I think about dying or killing myself.

If you answered yes to 5 or more of these questions, and you have felt this way everyday for several weeks, there is a good chance you are suffering from depression and should see a psychiatrist, a therapist, or other health care professional.

If you answered yes to question 10, you should seek help immediately, regardless of your answer to any other questions.

Click here for another online depression screening questionaire.

LGBT Mental Health Resources:

• GLBT National Hotline: 1-888-THE-GLNH (843-4564)
• Rainbow Youth Hotline: 1-877-LGBT-YTH (1-877-542-8984)
• LGBT Suicide Prevention Hotline: www.TheTrevorProject.org or 1-800-850-8078
• NAMI: www.nami.org or 1-800-950-NAMI (6264)
• Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays: www.pflag.org
• Rainbow Heights Club: www.rainbowheights.org
• Association of Gay and Lesbian Psychiatrists: (215) 222-2800 www.aglp.org
• GayHealth.com: www.gayhealth.com
• National Foundation for Depressive Illness: www.depression.org
• Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance: (800) 826-3632 or www.dbsalliance.org
• American Foundation for Suicide Prevention: (888) 333-2377 or www.afsp.org