Live by Example

So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath; for the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God.

—James 1:19-20

Growing up, anyone outside of my family would have said I was a very polite and quiet kid. However, when it came to my parents, especially my dad, I had a bad habit of talking back. We both wanted the last word, and I often didn’t know when to shut up. My grandmama gave me the best advice on how to deal with my father. She said, “Your daddy is just like his daddy. You just have to keep your mouth shut, and eventually, he will shut up. Then you can go about your day.” To this day, my father and I barely get along. I’ve never been the son he wanted, and he says I “annoy him.” Last time I was home at Christmas, he actually said, “I was dreading you coming home because you usually annoy me, but I haven’t been annoyed this time until now.” It was all because I said I would not watch Fox News. He took this as me saying he could not watch Fox News. I did not; I just meant I’d go elsewhere. However, when it comes to me, my father is a man who is slow to hear (if he does at all), swift to speak, and swift to wrath.

I know that I get my temper from my dad. It’s one of the reasons I never wanted children. I did not want to be the kind of father my father and grandfather were, and I knew I had their temper at times. Over the years, I have learned to control my temper, but most people who know me know that I can be pushed just so far before that temper comes out. I wish I could suppress my temper at all times, so I try to “be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath.” Do I always succeed? No, but I do try my best.

Following the verse above, James goes on to say in James 1:21-27:

Therefore lay aside all filthiness and overflow of wickedness, and receive with meekness the implanted word, which is able to save your souls.

But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves. For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man observing his natural face in a mirror; or he observes himself, goes away, and immediately forgets what kind of man he was. But he who looks into the perfect law of liberty and continues in it and is not a forgetful hearer but a doer of the work, this one will be blessed in what he does.

If anyone among you thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his own heart, this one’s religion is useless. Pure and undefiled religion before God and the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their trouble, and to keep oneself unspotted from the world.

Too many Christians today are not “doers of the word.” Sadly, they hear what they want to hear and ignore the parts of the Bible they disagree with. They rely on bad translations and put forward a belief that is an anathema to Christ’s teachings. I have always believed that we should live by example, meaning to guide others through your behavior instead of your words. Your intention is to inspire others to copy your behavior. Luke 6:31 says, “And just as you want men to do to you, you also do to them likewise.” The opposite of leading by example is to say one thing and do another, i.e., being a hypocrite. My father always lived by the saying “do as I say, not as I do,” but this is not how we are supposed to live.

We can study the Bible all we want, but if we fail to apply the lessons that God teaches us through His word, then we are only hearers and not doers. First Timothy 4:12 tells us, “Let no one despise your youth, but be an example to the believers in word, in conduct, in love, in spirit, in faith, in purity.” Could you, in good conscience, encourage someone to be to follow Christ’s teachings if you yourself are not? We must live in such a way that we are beyond reproach. Titus 2:6–8 says, “Likewise, exhort [encourage’ the young men to be sober-minded, in all things showing yourself to be a pattern of good works; in doctrine showing integrity, reverence, incorruptibility, sound speech that cannot be condemned, that one who is an opponent may be ashamed, having nothing evil to say of you.” Live by example, then those who are not following the Word of God cannot fault you. They may try, but you have to remember what is important. It is how God will judge you, not how man will judge you.

In Matthew 7:1-5, Jesus says, “7 “Judge not, that you be not judged. For with what judgment you judge, you will be judged; and with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you. And why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me remove the speck from your eye;’ and look, a plank is in your own eye? Hypocrite! First remove the plank from your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.” Jesus is telling us that we cannot criticize or judge others for things we ourselves do not follow. 

When it comes to living by example, there’s no one who’s ever done it better than Jesus Himself. He is the ultimate example, because He built His entire ministry around living by example. At the end of the day, if we have not modelled our behavior to other people on that of Christ, then we are failing to follow Christ’s example. To do that, we need to practice humility and selflessness above all. Hebrews 10:24 says, “And let us consider one another in order to stir up love and good works.” Living by example isn’t always easy. If it were, then we wouldn’t need to rely on God’s strength to do it. Isaiah 41:10 says, “Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.” If you’re at that point in your life where you’re discouraged and unsure if you can press on and continue living by example, remember that God will strengthen us, help us, and support us.