Proper Grammar

On his 77th birthday, a man received a gift certificate from his wife.  The certificate paid for a visit to a medicine man living on a nearby reservation who was rumored to have a wonderful cure for erectile dysfunction. After being persuaded by his wife, he drove to the reservation, handed his ticket to the medicine man and wondered what would happen next. 

The medicine man slowly, methodically produced a potion, handed it to the 77 year-old, and with a grip on his shoulder, warned, “This is powerful medicine and it must be respected. You must take only a teaspoonful and then say ‘1-2-3.’ When you do that, you will become more manly than you have ever been in your life, and you can perform as long as you want.”

The old man was encouraged. As he walked away, he turned and asked, “How do I stop the medicine from working?”  

“Your partner must say ‘1-2-3-4,'” he responded. “But when she does, the medicine will not work again until the next full moon.”

The old man was very eager to see if it worked so he went home, showered, shaved, took a spoonful of the medicine, and then invited his wife to join me in the bedroom. When she came in, he took off all his clothes and said, “1-2-3!”

Immediately, he was the manliest of men. His wife was excited and began throwing off her clothes. And then she asked, “What was the 1-2-3 for?”

And that, boys and girls, is why we should never end our sentences with a preposition! One could end up with a dangling participle!

About Joe

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I began my life in the South and for five years lived as a closeted teacher, but am now making a new life for myself as an oral historian in New England. I think my life will work out the way it was always meant to be. That doesn't mean there won't be ups and downs; that's all part of life. It means I just have to be patient. I feel like October 7, 2015 is my new birthday. It's a beginning filled with great hope. It's a second chance to live my life…not anyone else's. My profile picture is "David and Me," 2001 painting by artist Steve Walker. It happens to be one of my favorite modern gay art pieces. View all posts by Joe

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