The Boyfriend 

I’ve been asked several times about my boyfriend.  Several people have said that it just came out of the blue, and I just started including him in my posts.  So I thought I’d do a post answering some of your questions, but my boyfriend is a private person, and we are both in the closet, so I don’t want to give away too much.
We met back in January when he sent me a message on OkCupid. It was a nice message and most importantly it was more than just a cursory “Hey, how’s it going?”  We sent a few more messages back and forth and then exchanged contact information with one another.  We began texting back and forth.  I personally hate talking on the phone.  I often can’t hear very well on the phone, and I hate the way my voice sounds over the phone.  So we basically texted back and forth getting to know each other.  Then we decided to meet, and I’ll tell you about that in a minute.

First let me tell you about my wonderful man. He’s a truly brilliant man, and I just love talking to him.  He also seems to enjoy listening to me babble on as well.  I have to say that’s an important thing.  I’ve spent my life with most people telling me I’m boring or over their head or just plain tuning me out.  My family does it and even some of my friends do, so when someone is actually interested in what I have to say, it means a great deal to me.  I’m always amazed that I have anyone who even reads this blog, but many of you keep coming back every day.

Now let me tell you something about myself that you probably don’t know.  In person, I am painfully shy unless I am very comfortable around you and know you well.  I’ve always been that way.  I was extremely nervous the first time we met. The first time we scheduled to meet, I was so nervous that I worked myself into a state of nausea and a severe headache, but a friend calmed me down and the next day we decided to try to meet again.  So we met up and he took me to lunch.  As soon as I got in his car, I knew I’d met someone very special.  I was not shy around him.  I felt at ease, and I began to talk.  I will admit that there was a little bit of hanky-panky on the way to lunch, but I’m not gonna kiss and tell all my secrets (he’s a great kisser, by the way).  After we ate lunch, we decided to go to a few thrift stores.  He loves thrift stores, and I needed some props for our play at school (a play that the kids just wouldn’t get behind, and I ended up canceling).

It was a lovely afternoon that day, and I think we both knew that it wasn’t going to be the last time we got together.  I realized that after we parted that first day how much I had talked, and to be honest, I was kind of embarrassed.  I never tal that much with someone I just met, and I was so afraid that I had monopolized the conversation.  When I told him this, he assured me that he loved every minute of it.  Since then we have gone on one or two dates each week.  He is so sweet, kind, and handsome.  I miss him every moment I’m away from him.

The highlight so far has been our mini-vacation together over spring break.  It’s kind of hard finding places to be intimate because it’s not like I can bring him home and vice versa.  So spending a few days together in a beautiful hotel in the mountains was heaven.  I’ll be house sitting for a week next month, and though we both have to work during the day, we can spend the rest of the time together and fall asleep in each other’s arms at night. In June before his daughter comes to spend the summer with him (he is divorced and has a teenage daughter), we are taking a trip to New Orleans for a few days and then going to spend a few days with a friend of mine.  By the way, the friend is the same one I told you came to visit and we all went out.  She really liked my boyfriend, and since I can’t tell my family about him, she’s the most important one I want to know because she’s like a sister to me.  Other friends that I’ve talked to about my boyfriend have been very encouraging as well.  I’m particularly grateful for the friend that calmed me down before my first date, he’s my greatest confidant.  I can’t wait to be away with him in Louisiana so that we can be out and about as a couple.  Sadly, after that I won’t get to see much of him over the summer, but we’ll still keep in touch.  I’m not letting this man get away.

About Joe

I began my life in the South and for five years lived as a closeted teacher, but am now making a new life for myself as an oral historian in New England. I think my life will work out the way it was always meant to be. That doesn't mean there won't be ups and downs; that's all part of life. It means I just have to be patient. I feel like October 7, 2015 is my new birthday. It's a beginning filled with great hope. It's a second chance to live my life…not anyone else's. My profile picture is "David and Me," 2001 painting by artist Steve Walker. It happens to be one of my favorite modern gay art pieces. View all posts by Joe

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