Monthly Archives: August 2015

Blue Mood

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Yesterday was one of those blue mood days. It usually happens when I get a rejection letter. One of the community college jobs cancelled their job search because of funding. From my experience, that’s not unusual with colleges. While that was in no part my fault, it still depressed me. That isn’t the only thing that got me down though, but the other thing should have made me happy. The job that I went on an interview for last week called, and they want me to come in for a second interview. Which that is great, but it’s for the lesser paying of the two jobs they interviewed me for. This position actually pays less than my previous teaching position. On the plus side, it would have benefits unlike my previous position.

To make my mood worse, my old school starts back today. I hate that I am unemployed, but also I’m glad I’m not going back to that school. It still depressing that I’m not there, but I got severely burned out on teaching because of that place. The apathy of the students and parents was just soul draining. It did teach me a very valuable lesson: I do not want to teach middle school or high school again. I will go back to working in schools if I get this job that I have an interview for, but I won’t stop looking for something that will make me happy.

Of the dozen or so jobs that I have had in my lifetime, only three have made me very happy. I loved working at a bookstore when I was in college, sadly though brick and mortar book stores are becoming something of the past. I also loved teaching college. A lot of that may have been where I was teaching but I loved my students and they loved me, sadly that was only part time, and I was a casualty of budget cuts. The other job that I have loved is my current job as a volunteer. I love telling people about the museum and meeting so many wonderful people. Which is why, even if I have to settle for a job I might not particularly want, I am still going to pursue the museum studies certificate this fall (It runs from September 21-November 30, which will make a nice birthday present for me when I finish), and I will continue pursuing a job at a museum or historical site.

While it was a blue day yesterday, it did start out well with a nice conversation about poetry with a friend of mine, though I think she’s decided I’m a bit loquacious at times, and I had another good conversation with a friend of mine in the early afternoon. Then last night I had four different conversation with my boyfriend and three other friends of mine: two on the phone, two online (Kik and Twitter). So I’ve had the love and support of some wonderful friends, but anyone who has battled depression knows that no matter how good things can be, sometimes you have those days where it is very hard to see it. Yesterday was one of those days.


Of Love: A Sonnet

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Of Love: A Sonnet
Robert Herrick, 1591 – 1674

How love came in I do not know,
Whether by the eye, or ear, or no;
Or whether with the soul it came
(At first) infused with the same;
Whether in part ’tis here or there,
Or, like the soul, whole everywhere,
This troubles me: but I as well
As any other this can tell:
That when from hence she does depart
The outlet then is from the heart.

Though beautiful, I want to see if any of you can figure out what is wrong with this poem. I would say that I’d give a prize to the person who figured it out, but I have no idea what kind of prize I could give. If you had taken my class in English Literature, you’d know instantly what the problem with this poem is. Any guesses?


The hitchBOT Tragedy

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Sometimes, I am really embarrassed to be from the United States. For the most part I love my country, and I love the ideals that my country was founded on and the principles that are at the core, but it’s stories like the one below that makes me sad to be an American. This particular story is about a traveling robot name hitchBOT, a hitchhiking robot.

A bunch of really nice humans had already helped hitchBOT traverse the length of Canada and most of Germany, the robot was going to try to make it from Massachusetts all the way to California. HitchBOT is the brainchild of two Canadian social scientists. As Frauke Zeller and David Harris Smith explained it in a piece for the Harvard Business Review, it was an experiment meant to spark a discussion “about trust, notions of safety, and about our attitude towards technology.”

For his third trip, hitchBOT, a cute robot with kitsch appeal — made of a bucket, a display and noodle appendages — was dropped off at the Peabody Essex Museum in Salem, Mass., on July 17. The first few days, things went smoothly: With the help of friendly humans, who gave hitchBOT a ride and also charged him, he hit up Fenway Park and Providence and New Haven and even crossed off the first item on his bucket list: “See the lights in Times Square.”

Eventually, he made it to Philadelphia, where Jesse Wellens, of YouTube fame, showed him around town in the early morning hours of Saturday. At 3:57 a.m. ET on Saturday, Wellens tweeted that he was dropping hitchBOT off at Elfreths Ally, the oldest residential street in the U.S. Unfortunately, that’s where hitchBOT’s journey ended.

On his blog, the robot wrote that his body was damaged but “my love for humans will never fade.”

HitchBOT’s family — aka the researchers — issued this statement:

“hitchBOT’s trip came to an end last night in Philadelphia after having spent a little over two weeks hitchhiking and visiting sites in Boston, Salem, Gloucester, Marblehead, and New York City. Unfortunately, hitchBOT was vandalized overnight in Philadelphia; sometimes bad things happen to good robots. We know that many of hitchBOT’s fans will be disappointed, but we want them to be assured that this great experiment is not over. For now we will focus on the question ‘what can be learned from this?’ and explore future adventures for robots and humans.”

In an interview with the CBC back in March, Smith said he hoped hitchBOT’s journey would lead to some introspection on the way society works. Maybe, he said, it could spark discussion on some big questions like: “What kind of people are we? Are we kind? Do we live in a safe world, you know, for the most part?”. Which leaves me with one question: What does this say about the U.S.?

Sadly, I think it says awful things about the United States. The robot went unharmed across Canada and much of Germany, but after being in the United States for a few weeks, hitchBOT was vandalized. Really, what kind of people do that. I’m afraid more and more, the United States is filled with hate and meanness. Just look at how Donald Trump is doing in the polls. The meaner more hateful he gets the higher his numbers climb. How can people really want that type of person to lead our country? Yes, he speaks his mind, and yes, he doesn’t mind speaking the truth about himself, but it just goes to show how Americans are fascinated by a culture of rudeness and disrespect.


Let Justice Roll Down As Waters

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But let justice roll down as waters, and righteousness as a mighty stream.
Amos 5:24 (ASV)

Last Thursday was the 50th anniversary of the signing of the 1965 Voting Rights Act. After I finished volunteering, I decided I would take a little walk in Montgomery. Downtown Montgomery is such a historic place. In March, there was a commemoration of the 50th anniversary of the Selma to Montgomery March that lead to the passage of the Voting Rights Act.  Dexter Avenue, the main street leading to the Alabama State Capitol, is within walking distance of only a few blocks either way from other historic sites, including the Dexter Avenue King Memorial Baptist Church, the Civil Rights Memorial Center (pictured above), the Alabama Department of Archives and History, the Rosa Parks Library and Museum, and the Court Square Fountain. Downtown Montgomery is where the history of the Civil War and Civil Rights merge into one place, side by side.

One of the most moving tributes is the the Civil Rights Memorial dedicated to forty-one people who died in the struggle for the equal treatment of all people, regardless of race, during the Civil Rights Movement between 1955 (Emmett Till) and 1968 (Martin Luther King, Jr.). The LGBT Rights Movement has had its own martyrs. The Civil Rights Memorial Center lists Billy Jack Gaither, a 39-year-old gay man, was brutally beaten to death in Rockford, Alabama, simply because he was gay. But there are many others: the thirty-two people who died when an arsonist burned the Upstairs Lounge in New Orleans, Harvey Milk, Brandon Teena, Matthew Shepard, Barry Winchell, and so many others who were killed because they were gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender. The list is further expanded when you add in the number of LGBT suicides, especially of teenagers, because of bigotry and hatred often fueled by religious fanaticism.

The Civil Rights Memorial may only list the names of those who died because they believed in equality for African Americans but it also stands as a testament to all those who have died because of differences perceived by others. It is to remind us of the fight for equality. The concept of Maya Lin’s design of the Civil Rights Memorial (Maya Lin’s most famous design is the Vietnam Memorial) is based on the soothing and healing effect of water. It was inspired by Martin Luther King, Jr.’s paraphrase “… we will not be satisfied until justice rolls down like waters and righteousness like a mighty stream. …”, from the “I Have a Dream” speech, delivered at the Lincoln Memorial, Washington D.C. on August 28, 1963:

There are those who are asking the devotees of civil rights, “When will you be satisfied?” We can never be satisfied as long as the Negro is the victim of the unspeakable horrors of police brutality. We can never be satisfied as long as our bodies, heavy with the fatigue of travel, cannot gain lodging in the motels of the highways and the hotels of the cities. *We cannot be satisfied as long as the negro’s basic mobility is from a smaller ghetto to a larger one. We can never be satisfied as long as our children are stripped of their self-hood and robbed of their dignity by signs stating: “For Whites Only.”* We cannot be satisfied as long as a Negro in Mississippi cannot vote and a Negro in New York believes he has nothing for which to vote. No, no, we are not satisfied, and we will not be satisfied until “justice rolls down like waters, and righteousness like a mighty stream.”

No matter who is fighting for rights and equal treatment, the message is basically the same. The Supreme Court gave us marriage equality, but we cannot be satisfied with that. We need to end discrimination of any kind and for those who claim that they can discriminate because it is their religious right and they are only fighting for their religious freedom are in reality fitting for their own bigotry, no different then the white supremacist of the 1950s and 60s. Amos is a very appropriate prophet to look at when discussing equality. Throughout the Book of Amos, Amos voices prophetic rage against the injustices of the day. The entire book is given to denouncing the excesses of eighth-century B.C.E. Israelite life and reminding people of their true covenantal obligations. Those who are “at ease in Zion” and “feel secure on Mount Samaria,” who “lie on beds of ivory” and “eat lambs from the flock,” will “be the first to go into exile” (Amos 6:1-7) because they have forgotten the plight of the poor and mistaken religious observance and piety for moral responsibility.

If Amos were alive today, what might he say? Perhaps the most famous line from the book is the one King paraphrased from Amos 5:24: “But let justice roll down as waters, and righteousness as a mighty stream.” The context of this powerful statement is a prophetic denunciation of the “sacrifices and meal offerings” of a people who have failed to keep the covenant, which is constituted by justice and fairness. Throughout Amos 5-6, the prophet lashes out against those who have become rich at the expense of the poor and against public—but hollow—displays of piety. According to Amos, God says, “I hate, I despise your festivals, and I take no delight in your solemn assemblies” (Amos 5:21). Religious devotion is meaningless if it is accompanied by unfair taxes on the poor, backdoor bribes, and working against those in need (Amos 5:11-12).

Because of these sentiments, this passage has become an important source for some observers of contemporary American religious and political culture. I think Amos would disapprove of the concentration of wealth and the corresponding increase in poverty, and he would rage against the displays of self-importance and exceptionalism in some quarters of American life.

According to Amos, a nation is exceptional by the measure of how it cares for the lowest members of society; and a nation of religious hypocrisy and injustice is one that will perish. John Winthrop expressed the message of Amos in his famous work “A Modell of Christian Charity” (1630); he knew that for the Puritan legacy to be a “light unto the nations” and a “city upon a hill,” the community would have to be based upon principles of justice, fairness, and regard for others, “that every man afford his help to another in every want or distress.”

No matter what religious fanatics and bigots say, God is on our side, and one day, truth, justice, and equality will prevail throughout the United States, and instead of the death and destruction that the bigots proclaim will happen, God and His peace and love will be there instead.


Moment of Zen: Backsides

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This post is for Susan and all the backside connoisseurs out there. Susan commented the other day on my post “#FreeTheBacon” about more male nudity in Hollywood, “No negative response here, Joe, although I do admit to being more of a backside connoisseur. :-)”. Clothed, exposed, or totally nude, the male backside, especially a nice rounded one, is a thing of beauty.

FYI, my job interview seemed to have gone pretty well. I’ll just have to wait and see if I was what they were looking for. Hopefully, I will know sometime next week.


Did You Watch?

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Did any of you watch the Republican Presidential Debate last night? I watched most of it. I want to see what we are going to be up against next November, and I was not impressed but was surprised a few times. Most of all though, I have to say that Fox News is the worst group of moderators ever. In my opinion, debate moderators should be impartial, but that’s a dirty word for Fox News. They clearly had an agenda. That agenda was to attack some of the candidates like Trump and lob softball questions to others they favored more, like Mike Huckabee. Furthermore, their treatment of Ben Carson, the only black man on the stage, bordered on racism as they completely ignored him for the first half of the debate, causing him to quip when finally asked a question by Fox News debate moderator Megyn Kelly at the 44 minute mark, “Well, thank you, Megyn, I wasn’t sure I was going to get to talk again.” Fox News is just plain pitiful, and they prove it over and over each day. When will the Fox News fanatics learn? The answer is that they won’t because they are being told what they want to hear instead of the truth.

Donald Trump continued to serve as the leader on the clown bus to hell. However, I applaud the way he attacked the moderators. He is foul and loudmouthed but he held his own against the moderators who consistently attacked him. Grant it, this was one instance where they basically spoke the truth, but then again so did Trump. And I’ll also give it to Trump, at least he admits to using the system to gain political favors and to get richer.

The biggest surprise (no pun intended) was Chris Christie. Christie’s presidential campaign has widely been viewed as past its expiration date. But he was able to capitalize on his everyman persona Thursday night—speaking in detail, delivering his responses with passion, and picking his fights without letting his temper get the better of him. Shockingly, he sounded intelligent, something I never expected. It just goes to show that he was well coached. He kept his cool, even when Rand Paul rolled his eyes at him. I hate when people roll their eyes at me. I used to have a student that rolled her eyes at teachers all the time; she did it to me once and only once. I’m pretty sure I’d have called Paul out on it as well, because it showed his childishness.

When the subject of gay marriage came up, most of the candidates gave the response that was expected (and Fox News kept running a deplorable ad about ignoring the Supreme Court decision), but the most sensible answer of the night came when John Kasich was asked by Kelly how he would explain his opposition to gay marriage to a son or daughter who was theoretically gay or lesbian.

“Look, I’m an old-fashioned person here and I happen to believe in traditional marriage. But I’ve also said that the court has ruled … and I said we’ll accept it,” Kasich said of the Supreme Court’s recent decision to legalize same-sex marriage nationwide.

“And guess what? I just went to a wedding of a friend of mine who happens to be gay. Because somebody doesn’t think the way I do doesn’t mean that I can’t care about them or I can’t love them. So if one of my daughters happened to be that, of course I would love them and I would accept them. Because you know what? That’s what we’re taught when we have strong faith.”. Kasich went on to say he would love his daughters “no matter what they do.”

“Issues like that are planted to divide us. I think the simple fact of the matter is — and this is where I would agree with Jeb, and I’ve been saying it all along — we need to give everybody a chance, treat everybody with respect, and let them share in this great in this great American dream that we have, Megyn,” Kasich told Kelly.

“So, look, I’m going to love my daughters. I’m going to love them no matter what they do. Because you know what? God loves me unconditional love. I’m going to give it to my family, and my friends, and the people around me.”

As for the rest of the contenders, Jeb Bush consistently stammered and seemed highly unprepared as he has in most interviews I’ve seen of him. Ted Cruz and Scott Walker just look plain creepy and sounded it too with their answers. I just don’t like to look at either one of them. Mike Huckabee came off as a Southern Baptist hick, which is why for some God forsaken reason that some people love him. Ben Carson just faded into the background, as did Marco Rubio, though he did show that he would merely divide this country more as a hardline Republican, i.e. Tea Party fanatic. Then there was Rand Paul who consistently acted childish on the stage. I don’t think I missed anyone but if I did it was because they were wholly unmemorable.

Though Trump got the most airtime last night, I think Christie and Kasich come out as the winners. Christie kept his cool and did not come across as a brash bully, while Kasich showed that there could be a moderate Republican candidate. Let’s be honest though, Kasich isn’t running for president but for Vice President. None of the candidates have good records on LGBT issues. They are Republicans after all, well except Trump and God only knows what that clown is. There isn’t a single one of them I like or would even come close to voting for, but it was interesting to get a good preview of them.

So, did you watch it? If you did, what did you think? I’d really like to know. Will you watch the Democratic debate on October 13?


#FreeTheBacon

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Gratuitous female nudity is pretty much expected in films and TV shows these days, and haven’t we all had enough of that. Kevin Bacon’s apparently has had enough of it. Bacon thinks it’s time to give male actors a chance to #FreeTheBacon. (And by bacon, he means, “your wiener, your balls and your butt.”) And what better way to campaign for more male nudity than with a super serious (mock) PSA.

“In so many films and TV shows, we see gratuitous female nudity, and it’s not OK … Well, it’s OK, but it’s not fair to actresses and it’s not fair to actors because we want to be naked too,” he says to the camera. “Gentlemen, it’s time to free the bacon.” Because, after all, it boils down to one thing, and Bacon hits the nail right on the head: “This is an issue of gender equality.”

Even though Bacon wasn’t being serious, he makes a good point. The problem is we all know the real reasons why men don’t go full frontal. Many, but not enough, will show their butt, but few will show their penis. Kevin Bacon went full frontal in Wild Things, but most full frontal nudity in movies is in independent films or gay films. Let’s face it though, most men are growers not showers. Very rarely do you see an actor going full frontal when he has a small penis, most of the time, the actor is well endowed. The movie industry is also a male dominated industry and straight men don’t care about seeing another man’s penis, or at least they don’t admit to it.

Most often when men see another man’s penis, it is in porn, and we all know those are porn penises, not real life. Male porn actors are in porn because they want to show off what they have. (I know there are other reasons too, but they wouldn’t do it if they didn’t want to be an exhibitionist.) Porn gives me an unreal expectation about what a normal sized penis is. On average, a flaccid penis is on average 3.6” long, while a erect penis is 5.2” long. When it comes to circumference, a flaccid penis is about 3.7” around, and the erect penis is on average 4.6” around. But if you compared that to porn, the flaccid penis, if you ever see it, looks to be around 4-5” long while erect penis is 7-9” long.

When Lenny Kravitz had a wardrobe malfunction the other day in Sweden, he did nothing to help show the average size penis, but yet did continue the stereotype that black men are nicely hung. (Truth is I’d have to say that myth is largely true from my experiences, just saying.) by the way, I happen to like Lenny’s pubic piercing. It’s pretty hot. (NSFW link)

But my point is, men shouldn’t be so ashamed to show their penis. Of course there is a time and place for everything, but as I said the other day about the show “Hunting Season,” male nudity is common in intimate settings. Men need to quit doing the towel dance in locker rooms and be proud of what they have, big or small. We need to see male nudity normalized in films, and quite frankly, we have gratuitous female nudity, and we need more gratuitous male nudity.


A Day of R&R? Could It Be?

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Here’s what my schedule has been like the last two weeks and what it will be like for the rest of this week:

• July 22: volunteered at the museum
• July 23: sat with my granny to give my mother a break
• July 24: sat with my granny again to give my mother a break (this was a two night trip)
• July 25: helped my dad get the house where I grew up ready to sell
• July 26: had a terrible headache nearly all day
• July 27: volunteered at the museum
• July 28: worked on job applications from the moment I woke up until I went to bed
• July 27: volunteered at the museum
• July 28: worked on job applications from the moment I woke up until I went to bed
• July 29: worked on job applications from the moment I woke up until I went to bed
• July 30: worked on job applications from the moment I woke up until I went to bed
• July 31: sat with my granny to give my mother a break
• August 1: helped my dad get the house where I grew up ready to sell; attended a birthday party for a friend of the family
• August 2: went to church in the morning; slept all afternoon since I’d worked most of the day then got home late from the party
• August 3: worked on job applications in the morning; volunteering at the museum in the afternoon
• August 4: worked on job applications from the moment I woke up until I went to bed
• August 5: ??? (See below)
• August 6: volunteer at the museum and go by and check on my granny who has now moved into an assisted living home
• August 7: lunch with a former colleague and job interview later that afternoon
• August 8: a day and night with my boyfriend, I’ve missed him while he’s been away and can’t wait to see him

To say that I have been busy would be an understatement. So, what is on my agenda today, you know, where I had the question marks? I have two choices: 1) spend the day in the pool for some much needed relaxation or 2) work on my novel. The good thing about those two choices is that both are fun and something I really want to do; the better thing about those two choices is that I can do both. I think I will do both as long as it doesn’t unexpectedly rain. Yesterday it was 100 degrees in this part of Alabama, the pool will feel great, and then I can write. I’ll let you know how it goes.

By the way, did you notice that I have a job interview on Friday. It’s not a job that I’m very excited about, but it (should) pay well, include benefits, and would give me money to live one while I keep looking for a job that I will find more rewarding. It is a job that a neighbor of mine recommended me for at the local board of education where she works. The job will basically be lots of paperwork and mentoring people while they get their GED and helping them decide what to do next. If nothing else, it should get me good karma points. My neighbor seems to think I have a good chance at the job, and she’ll be meeting with the woman interviewing me on Thursday for something else but plans to further “talk me up” for the job. Wish me luck. I’m just praying that God points me in the right direction.
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Summer Rain

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Summer Rain
By Amy Lowell, 1874 – 1925

All night our room was outer-walled with rain.
Drops fell and flattened on the tin roof,
And rang like little disks of metal.
Ping!—Ping!—and there was not a pin-point of silence between
them.
The rain rattled and clashed,
And the slats of the shutters danced and glittered.
But to me the darkness was red-gold and crocus-colored
With your brightness,
And the words you whispered to me
Sprang up and flamed—orange torches against the rain.
Torches against the wall of cool, silver rain

P.S. My headache is better, just a residual shadow headache that usually follows the really bad one. The one last night had come and gone throughout the day. The thing with cluster headaches is that if you can stay busy and be up and around, they aren’t as noticeable but when you stop, they hit you like a ton of bricks, which is what happened last night when I laid down to go to bed and wrote my post for today. I’m really glad that I have good medicine that actually works.


Headache

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I have a terrible headache tonight, and I just need to go to bed. I had a few things I had to do tonight, or I would have gone to bed much earlier. I will post a poem as soon as I get up and going in the morning. Probably after I have my coffee, or during, I’ll see how the mood strikes me.