Sleepless Nights

First of all, I want to thank everyone for their thoughtful comments on Monday’s post. Y’all have some amazing stories.
For the past several nights, I’ve almost dreaded going to bed. Even with my CPAP, which helps so much in getting a restful night’s sleep, I’ve been waking up all through the night. I just haven’t been sleeping well. I’m not sure what’s up. I’ve been having some anxiety issues, which could be a contributing factor. Several times a day, I feel a sinking feeling in my chest like I am on the verge of a full on panic attack. I’ve experienced this before, but it’s been quite a while. All of this is also causing my headaches to increase again.
I know I’m not the only one, but I’m ready to return to normal. However, unlike those jackass “protestors,” what George Takei called the “Flu Klux Klan,” I don’t want to try to return to normal until it’s safe. And that’s not going to happen until we have enough testing. When we can better track this virus COVID-19, we cannot return to the old status quo. We have to be diligent and patient, and above all, vote that asshole president out of office in November. The United States has needed leadership, and we aren’t getting that from the top.
Even when this quarantine is lifted, we will not return to normal until there is a vaccine. However, with enough testing, in addition to social distance and personal safety, we can at least begin to return to normal. Things will be different for a while, but if we return to the old status quo too soon, we will have the same issues that the post-WWI world had with the Spanish Flu.
If we lift the restrictions too soon, the spread of COVID-19 will spread again and again and will possibly be worse until there is a vaccine. Even then, we will have to battle the anti-vaxxers who will resist a vaccine and continue to spread the virus. As I said in Monday’s post, my mother was a public health nurse and was a firm believer in vaccines. Because of this, I only see pure stupidity and danger in anti-vaxxers. As a teacher, I caught whooping cough because some idiot didn’t vaccinate their child. My vaccine as a child had worn off but that shouldn’t have been a problem if people had vaccinated their children.
As you might be able to tell, I’m in quite a mood.

About Joe

I began my life in the South and for five years lived as a closeted teacher, but am now making a new life for myself as an oral historian in New England. I think my life will work out the way it was always meant to be. That doesn't mean there won't be ups and downs; that's all part of life. It means I just have to be patient. I feel like October 7, 2015 is my new birthday. It's a beginning filled with great hope. It's a second chance to live my life…not anyone else's. My profile picture is "David and Me," 2001 painting by artist Steve Walker. It happens to be one of my favorite modern gay art pieces. View all posts by Joe

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