Not Feeling Well

I have not been feeling well the last few days. On Sunday, I had a bad headache, but since I woke up on Monday, I have been extremely nauseated. I thought it had something to do with missing the nighttime dose of my medicine on Friday, but I think it must be more than that. I really should be feeling better by now. My head hurts, I have no energy, and I am constantly nauseated. I’ve also been really depressed. I just don’t know what’s going on with me. My body and mind are just not being kind to me at the moment.

I wrote this last night, so if I am still feeling this way when I wake up today, I’ll call my doctor and see if I can get an appointment. I hope he can see me and help. I just don’t know how much more of this I can take. I feel like I am at my wit’s end. Things were going well, and I really thought things were getting better, but it just seems like every time my health improves and things are looking up, I have a setback.

For a while now, my mood has been better. The trigeminal nerve pain had got me depressed, but once they diagnosed me, extracted the tooth, and prescribed medicine to help me deal with the pain, my spirits lifted. Now I am back to feeling hopeless. Maybe this is just a temporary setback, and I am being overly dramatic. However, I can’t help thinking: what if it gets worse? what if the pain never ends? how can I ever cope with this? etc.

About Joe

I began my life in the South and for five years lived as a closeted teacher, but am now making a new life for myself as an oral historian in New England. I think my life will work out the way it was always meant to be. That doesn't mean there won't be ups and downs; that's all part of life. It means I just have to be patient. I feel like October 7, 2015 is my new birthday. It's a beginning filled with great hope. It's a second chance to live my life…not anyone else's. My profile picture is "David and Me," 2001 painting by artist Steve Walker. It happens to be one of my favorite modern gay art pieces. View all posts by Joe

2 responses to “Not Feeling Well

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