Chosen Family

When Jesus therefore saw His mother, and the disciple whom He loved standing by, He said to His mother, “Woman, behold your son!” Then He said to the disciple, “Behold your mother!” And from that hour that disciple took her to his own home.

—John 19:26-27

The other day, I came across a book on Amazon titled Called Out: 100 Devotions for LGBTQ Christians by E. Carrington Heath. I have some other LGBTQ+ devotional books, but I knew I liked this one as soon as I opened it up. The first devotional is “Chosen Family,” and the biblical text with it is John 19:26-27. The scene in the verses is while Jesus is on the cross and is followed by Jesus saying he is thirsty and being given vinegar to drink. Then in John 19: 30, Jesus said, “‘It is finished!’ And bowing His head, He gave up His spirit.” The last thing Jesus did before he died was to give the two people who meant the most to him, his mother and John, whom He loved, a family without him. 

Our biological families are not always caring and loving; far too often they can be cruel and harmful to us. LGBTQ+. Too many LGBTQ+ individuals of all ages choose to end their lives because they are not accepted by their biological families. The luckier LGBTQ+ individuals either have loving and accepting families, or they are fortunate enough to find a chosen family who will love, accept, support, and nurture them. Jesus give us that example in the Gospel of John. I will not dive into the times that Jesus declares his love for specific men but will focus on Him choosing a family for his mother and “the disciple whom He loved.” In the devotional from Called Out, Rev. Heath writes, “One of the queerest things we can do is, one of the most Christian: create a family of people you love, and the ones who love you.”

The Rev. Dr. E. Carrington Heath (they/them) is the Pastor of the Congregational Church in Exeter, New Hampshire. Founded in 1638, the church is a parish of the United Church of Christ. Called Out: 100 Devotions for LGBTQ Christiansis Rev. Heath’s third book. Their two previous works were published by Pilgrim Press under the name “Emily C. Heath”. Glorify: Reclaiming the Heart of Progressive Christianity is a call to vibrant discipleship in the mainline church, and Courageous Faith: How to Rise and Resist in a Time of Fear is an examination of what it means to be brave in difficult times.