Jonathan and David

The relationship between Jonathan and David, as described in the Bible (primarily in 1 Samuel 18-20 and 2 Samuel 1), is one of deep emotional connection, loyalty, and love. While the Bible does not explicitly describe their relationship as romantic or sexual, some readers and scholars have speculated that their bond could be interpreted as a same-sex love story. Let’s explore the key aspects of their relationship and why some see it as a potential gay love story.

The Bible clearly portrays Jonathan and David as having a profound and intense bond. In 1 Samuel 18:1, it says that Jonathan loved David as his own soul, “Now when he had finished speaking to Saul, the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul.” In 2 Samuel 1:26, after Jonathan’s death, David expresses his grief in a lament, saying, I am distressed for you, my brother Jonathan; you have been very pleasant to me; your love to me was wonderful, surpassing the love of women.” 

This description of love has led some readers to see a romantic or even homoerotic subtext, especially because David compares Jonathan’s love to the love he experienced with women, calling it “wonderful.” In ancient cultures, deep friendships between men were often expressed in highly affectionate and poetic terms, which may not imply a romantic relationship in the way we might interpret it today; however, in other ancient cultures there is not clear distinction between friendship and romantic love against men.  In 7th century AD, Christians had a practice known as adelphopoiesis, a ceremony practiced in Eastern Christian tradition to unite together two people of the same sex ostensibly as siblings, but the practice closely resembled a marriage. The most notable of these couples was the Christian martyrs Saint Sergius and Saint Bacchus.

First Samuel 18:3 says, “Then Jonathan and David made a covenant, because he loved him as his own soul.” Here, Jonathan and David make a covenant, a formal agreement between two individuals that symbolized deep loyalty, commitment, and trust. The covenant they made suggests a profound and mutual bond, sealed with love and loyalty. Some scholars argue that this covenant could reflect a form of lifelong commitment that is similar to a romantic or marital bond. However, others view it more in the context of political and social alliances common in ancient Israel. Like adelphopoiesis in the early Christian tradition, historians debate the true nature of these types of covenants. Regardless of whether they were romantic or not, they would not have been openly recognized as romantic couplings.

Another part of their story that some interpret as romantic is found in 1 Samuel 20:41, which says, “As soon as the lad had gone, David arose from a place toward the south, fell on his face to the ground, and bowed down three times. And they kissed one another; and they wept together, but David more so.” When Jonathan and David part ways, they kissed and wept together, though David wept the most. In many cultures, particularly in the ancient Near East, kissing between men was a common gesture of friendship, respect, and loyalty even to this day. However, modern readers may see this as a more intimate, potentially romantic moment. We have to be careful of interpreting history through modern eyes.

Modern interpretations vary widely when it comes to Jonathan and David’s relationship. Some LGBTQ+ Jews and Christian, along with their allies, interpret their bond as a biblical example of same-sex love, providing a model of deep affection and emotional commitment between two men. This interpretation is often embraced by those seeking to find representations of LGBTQ+ relationships in scripture. On the other hand, many traditional interpretations understand Jonathan and David’s relationship as one of intense friendship, characterized by loyalty, shared faith, and mutual support during political upheaval. In this view, their love is seen as non-sexual but still profound, reflecting the deep bonds that could exist between friends in the ancient world. Even if it was non-sexual, the intimacy does not mean they were not romantically attached.

The story of Jonathan and David is rich in emotional language and affection, which can lead to different interpretations depending on one’s perspective. There is no explicit evidence in the biblical text that their relationship was sexual or romantic, but their deep love and commitment to each other leave room for readers, especially in modern times, to see possibilities for a romantic interpretation. Whether viewed as an intense friendship or as a potential same-sex love story, Jonathan and David’s relationship exemplifies loyalty, love, and devotion that transcends societal expectations. Regardless of whether it is seen through a lens of friendship or romantic love, their story is a source of reflection on love and connection.

About Joe

Unknown's avatar
I began my life in the South and for five years lived as a closeted teacher, but am now making a new life for myself as an oral historian in New England. I think my life will work out the way it was always meant to be. That doesn't mean there won't be ups and downs; that's all part of life. It means I just have to be patient. I feel like October 7, 2015 is my new birthday. It's a beginning filled with great hope. It's a second chance to live my life…not anyone else's. My profile picture is "David and Me," 2001 painting by artist Steve Walker. It happens to be one of my favorite modern gay art pieces. View all posts by Joe

7 responses to “Jonathan and David

  • cutlover's avatar cutlover

    A fabulous romantic picture of true affection. Thanks Joe.

  • kleinschmidtbruce's avatar kleinschmidtbruce

    Joe, the story of the two men has always fascinated me and you are so correct about the error of inserting contemporary thoughts into ancient practices.

    The fact that the relationship was recorded and preserved and held up as any kind of example at all speaks powerfully to me. This is a significant contrast to the three friends of Job who did their best to discourage and cut ties to Job. In my admittedly limited studies of the Old Testament, the only other references to friendship are in the Proverbs. The New Testament clearly has numerous examples of brotherly love—philia, yet those don’t provoke romantic or sexual overtones.

    Once again, Joe, you’ve danced with the Revised Common Lectionary as the Old Testament reading today was about Job’s return to highly favored status after his trials.

    Blessings for a good week. I’ve got to lead a Celebration of Life at 2 pm so I need to make tracks. Bruce

  • vandycolt's avatar vandycolt

    The most beautiful and unselfish Love Story in the Bible. It is also the most detailed and their Love is mentioned over and over.
    Sadly Most Modern translations try to remove any implications beyond friendship with their rewording. I believe it is a valid detailed example of the kind of Love two men can share in the sight of God.

    • Joe's avatar Joe

      My other favorite story of love in the Old Testament is that of Ruth and Naomi. In Ruth 1:16-17, Ruth tells Naomi:

      “Entreat me not to leave you,
      Or to turn back from following after you;
      For wherever you go, I will go;
      And wherever you lodge, I will lodge;
      Your people shall be my people,
      And your God, my God.
      Where you die, I will die,
      And there will I be buried.
      The Lord do so to me, and more also,
      If anything but death parts you and me.”

      I love also that Fannie Flagg used these verses in “Fried Green Tomatoes” for Ruth asked Idgie to come save her. (One of my all time favorite movies.)

      • kleinschmidtbruce's avatar kleinschmidtbruce

        Amen, Joe and Vandycolt

      • vandycolt's avatar vandycolt

        Daniel 1:9 also states that “God” Brought Ashpenaz into “Tender Love” and favor with Daniel. The Chief of the Eunuchs who in turn allowed Daniel to eat food pleasing unto God. Josephus also records all three of these love stories in more Detail.

  • Steve Davis's avatar Steve Davis

    I don’t often comment about the Sunday posts since expressions of our faith can often be so personal and subjective. However, your post today compels me with gratitude for your thorough and faithful presentation of the biblical text coupled with research and cultural context and understanding. Thank you! I so appreciate your work and reflection.

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